I’m sitting in a chair near the little round table, watching her sleep in the bed that I claimed. My heart is racing and my leg hasn’t stopped shaking since I sat down.
She said she wanted me.
She said it. Granted she was drunk. The drunkest I have ever seen her. And she said it right before she passed out. But she did say it.
She wasn’t lying. I didn’t smell it on her. The question that has my nerves in a ball is, did she mean to tell me? And why hasn’t she told me before. She said the whole reason she went out with snowflake was because she was afraid she’d never have what she really wanted. Me. They got together years ago. That means she wanted me for years and never said anything. Why?
‘Don’t forget bub, you wanted her just as long, if not longer. Why didn’t you say something?’ Shit when did the wolverine get all insightful. He has a point though. I was scared. Yup, me. Scared. I didn’t want to ruin what we had by telling her I love her. Plus I never wanted to have her reject me. She’s young, gorgeous, sexy, incredibly smart, funny and perfect. Why would she ever want me. The only thing I’m good at is kicking ass.
But she does want me. She said it herself. Shit. Will she even remember that she said it? She was really gone when she said it. What if she doesn’t remember? Will I have to remind her? Or will I have to pretend she didn’t say a word? Pretend she didn’t just give me reason in this world. Pretend she didn’t just make me happy, truly happy, for the first time in my miserable remembered life.
Both options scare the shit outta me.
I get up and walk towards her. She’s sleeping on her side, taking deep slow breaths. She looks so peaceful. But right now I don’t care. I’m waking her up. It’s been one hour since she passed out right after she spun my world. I’ve been sitting here with too many questions floating around in my head. I’m getting some answers.
I’m having one of those dreams were you know it’s a dream but because it’s going so good you don’t care. I’m with Logan by a lake, not much different than the one at the mansion. He’s sitting on a towel, chest and feet bare, smoking a cigar as he watches me. I’m in the water. Swimming. Playing. Splashing. It’s a beautiful day. I lay on my back and just float along, watching the clouds as they take on familiar shapes.
Suddenly Logan’s face is hovering over mine. He’s shaking me softly. He saying something softly to me. I can’t make it out because all of a sudden my head feels foggy. He shakes me again, a little more forceful this time, and I start to wake up. He keeps whispering “Marie. Wake up.” I’m fully awake now.
He helps me to sit up in the bed. I have a slight headache and my throat and mouth are dry. As if reading my mind, he hands me a bottle of soda, which I drink quickly. I run my hand over my face to wake myself up a little.
“What? What happened?” I ask, my voice raspy with sleep. I look around, not sure what I’m expecting to see but there has to be a good reason for him to wake me up at … 2:17 in the morning. “Logan, there better be a fire or some psycho intent on doing us bodily harm for you to wake me up at this time. I’m tired and I drank alot. I should be sleeping.” I go to lay down again but I stop when he speaks.
“We need to talk.” He says seriously. Why? What do we need to talk about? Then it all comes rushing back.
‘What was it that you wanted? What was it that you thought wasn’t possible?’
‘You.’
Had I really said it out loud. Shit. I did. I hate whiskey. I hate it. I hate it. Never touching it again. Grandma always said that liquor was a poor man’s Sodium Pentothal.
“You ok? If your drunk or hung-over you can touch me. Just enough to clear your head because we have to talk.”
“No. No I’m good. Let’s just talk.” Even though a minute ago I was still feeling the effects of the alcohol, I find myself stone cold sober suddenly. He’s sitting on the bed across from me, in an exact reversal of positions of when I told him about Bobby. He locks eyes with me for a moment before he speaks.
“So…what you wanted was me?” It’s funny. The night started out innocent enough. Just a chance to reminisce and have a drink or two alone. Looks like it gonna end with a confession of love. Shit. I don’t know what to do or say. I never thought this day would ever come. I just assumed that the fact that I loved him would go with me to my grave.
I take a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. I’ve never lied to him. Ever. Sure I might’ve held things in, like the fact that I love him, but I’ve never told him an out right lie.
“Yeah. It was you.” I manage to say to the carpet.
“Was me or is me?” I ask her, hoping like hell she still does. She looks up at me, staring me straight in the eyes.
“Is you.” I can’t breathe.
“How come you never said anything before?” She rolls her eyes at me.
“Come on Logan. I know how you saw me when we first met. I was a kid to you. Then I became your friend, your best friend. Shit. Your only real friend. I loved that you let me get that close. That you trusted me and only me. You accept me for who I am. You never made me feel like I should be quarantined because of my skin. You just let me be.” She gets up off the bed and starts to pace. She runs her hand through her hair, trying to get it out of her face before she continues.
“How could I ruin that by telling you that I want you. How could I ruin everything that meant something to me by trying to make it more. Then Bobby came along. He wanted to be with me and I saw it as my only shot at a relationship. I only wanted you but that was out of the picture so I settled for him. Which was wrong. The whole time I was with him I could only think of you. How much unlike you he is. How much I want you. How much I love you. But it d-”
“Marie.”
“-didn’t matter. You would never s-”
“Marie.”
“-see me like that. I will always be that kid in the bar to y-”
“MARIE! SHUT UP!” She stops talking, her mouth hanging open a little.
“Sorry, I guess I was rambling a little.” She blushes. She so fucking cute when she does that.
“Did you just say you love me?” Her eyes open wide in shock as she realizes what she let slip. Then her face softens and she gives me a sad smile, tears starting to form in her eyes.
“Yeah. I love you.”
“Since when?” I’m calm but I’m dying to know.
“Not sure exactly. Since the first time I saw you. Since you save my life. Since you trusted me with you secrets. Since I trusted you with mine. You treat my as an equal, Logan, not like a charity case. I realized I loved you when I realized the only time I was truly happy was when I was with you. I looked forward to the time that we could just hang out. Even my most intimate times with Bobby were no match for the times when we would just sit and watch a game.” She loves me. She fucking loves me. I never thought it was possible. “Please don’t freak out. This doesn’t have to change a thing.”
Of course it does. I want it to. I need it to. I just don’t know how to say everything I’m feeling.
“Turn your skin on.” I’m about to say no, remind him how dangerous it is. I don’t get a chance to because he speaks again. “Please.”
I’m shocked. I didn’t think he knew the word. I never heard him say it before, that’s why I know it’s important that I do it. I mumble an ‘Ok’ before I close my eyes and concentrate on turning my skin on. When I open my eyes, I nod at him and hold out my hand.
“Uh uh.” he says and swats my hand away so quick my skin doesn’t have a chance to react. He moves so fast I barely register what he’s doing. He has one hand on my waist, the other is in my hair tilting my head back. My eyes are wide as I realize that he is going to kiss me. Oh wow. My heart is racing. I would pass out but I really want to be awake for this. His lips are on mine and before I can enjoy it my skin kicks in. I try to push him away but he holds on, gently slipping his tongue into my mouth as my skin drains his energy, memories and thoughts.
He’s getting weaker by the second. When he falls to his knees, I manage to pull away from him. He slips to the floor, panting, as I struggle to calm myself enough to turn off my skin.
“Are you out of your mind?” I yell when my skin is no longer dangerous. He just gives me a smirk. I can hear his heart beating and smell how nervous he is with his borrowed senses. My head is a whirlwind of his emotions. When I get them under control I take a closer look and see it all. The pride he felt when I went on my first mission and held my own in a fight. How I’m the first person he looks for when he comes home, has a bad day, has good news or just wants to relax. How even when he needs time alone he still wants me around.
Then I start to get to the really important things. The way he loves my smile and laugh. He thinks I’m the sexiest thing he’s ever seen. It breaks his heart when I cry. It killed him that I was with Bobby. How just the thought of me can even calm the wolverine. I feel his guilt and self disgust when he was with a women because he wished it was me. He tried so hard to imagine it’s me. The dozen or so ways he thought up to get around my skin, back when it was an issue. Then the jackpot.
He loves me.
He loves me but he was scared of ruining a good thing. A great friendship. Just like I was. But he was also scared of being rejected. He can’t imagine me wanting him. He thinks he’s not worth it. Worth my love. That I wouldn’t want him in that way because he’s an animal, a monster.
“Your not a monster.” I say as I kneel in front of him. He’s still on the floor, leaning on the bed. “Or an animal.” He wants to say something but I cut him off. “No. I’ve seen everything you’ve done. Everything. I have your memories remember. You don’t scare me and I don’t pity you. I love you. I’ve loved you for so long, Logan.” I lean forward and kiss him. Just a soft brush of my lips against his. He closes his eyes and leans his forehead against mine, holding me in place with his hand on my neck.
“Are you positive, Marie? If we do this-”
“It’s for keeps. I know. I’m counting on it.” He pulls away from me a little and looks into my eyes, searching them. Making sure I really mean what I said. Then he smiles at me and pulls me in for a kiss. It’s gentle and possessive. The kiss tells me he loves me and that I am his. It quickly became about want and need.
His kiss moves to my jaw and then my neck, nipping and suckling it. I push him back and he gives me a worried look, afraid he might’ve gone too far, too fast. I move my hands to the bottom of shirt and slowly pull it over my head. I hear him inhale sharply.
“Jesus Christ, Marie.” He whispers. He moves his hands towards my breast but he stops an inch away, hands slightly shaking. He’s never been hesitant with the other women he has had, yet now he is. I know it’s because he truly loves me and doesn’t want to treat me the way he did them. I know he won’t. I trust him.
I put my hands over his and bring them down onto me, as I close my eyes. We both let out a moan. He rubs his thumb across my nipple, which immediately harden. His hands feel so good on me. So right. Suddenly they’re not on me anymore. Before I can open my eyes, he’s lifting me up and placing me on the bed, his mouth latching onto a nipple.
I arch my back, whimpering when his other hands traces a pattern from my neck to my breast, then down to my stomach. His hand snakes it’s way into my shorts, a finger rubs against my clit making me gasp for air. He starts to kiss his way down to where his hand is. He pauses both actions long enough to pull my shorts off. I’m lying on the bed, completely naked, his eyes moving over my body, taking me in.
“Your so fucking gorgeous” he says and I feel myself blush.
He moves back onto the bed, kissing his way up my legs. I feel like I have died and gone to heaven. I’ve never had so much attention paid to me during foreplay. Actually, I’ve never had foreplay before. All of a sudden, his mouth is on me. Sucking and kissing. His tongue is running tight circles across my over sensitive clit. I’ve lost my mind. I’m saying something but I don’t know what. I’m whimpering and crying out. I’m so close. So close. Then I feel his finger, gently sliding into me and I lose it. I scream out. Loud. I didn’t even know sex could feel this good. And we didn’t even have sex yet.
God. She is so sexy.
Just laying there, trying to catch her breath. I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed giving that much. She’s pulling at me muttering something I can’t make out. I crawl up her body and kiss her cheek.
“What’s that, darlin’?”
“Make love to me. Please.” Like she needs to say please. She starts to kiss me. Frantic. Like she doesn’t want to be away from me for a second. I somehow manage to pull my sweats down without breaking the kiss. She breaks the kiss when I position myself at her opening. Damn she is soaked. She stares into my eyes as I slide into her. Tight and warm and smooth. She feels like home.
“Oh God.” She screams out when I start to pump into her. It doesn’t take long before her breathing becomes heavy and erratic again. Her eyes are rolling back into her head and she’s biting her lower lip. I’m close. After a few minutes I’m close. She feels that good around me. Her nails start to claw at my back as she throws her head back and screams out my name. I love the way it sounds coming out of her mouth when she comes.
“I love you, Logan.” She lets out on a breath as she comes down from her orgasm. I can’t hold back anymore. I grunt out her name as I come, collapsing on her. After a few seconds I try to get off of her but legs wrap around my waist holding me in place. “No. Stay.”
“I’m not going anywhere. I just gonna move over a little. Give you some breathing room.” I move out of her slowly. I actually groan, missing her warmth already. I lay on my side and pull her back towards me, draping a leg over her thigh and an arm around her waist. She fits with me so perfectly. The top of her head just reaching my chin. I’m never letting her go.
I love the feel of his skin, his body. Strong. Hard. Silky smooth. This is the most amazing day of my life. I just had mind blowing sex with Logan, the man I love and who loves me, and now he’s wrapped around me like a warm, sexy blanket.
“Marie?”
“Hmm.”
“You really understand that this is for keeps right?” God I love him. I love that I’m the only one who he’s vulnerable around. No one has ever seen this part of him.
“Yeah, sugah. I’m yours and your mine. Always and forever.” I smile even thought he can’t see it.
“Good.” He kiss my neck, right near the collarbone, making my head swim. “Let’s get married.” What?!?
“What?” It’s not that I don’t want to, believe me I do, it’s just I never knew he ever wanted to. With anyone. He lets go of me and pulls back from me. I turn around and I see he’s hurt. Shit. “I just mean. I thought you were against marriage or something. We don’t have to get married, if you don’t want to. I ain’t going anywhere. I swear.” He thinks about it for a second before he talks.
“I’ve never been against marriage. Just never been in love. Now I am. I found my mate and I want to make you mine, in every possible way. That includes putting a ring on your finger.” Oh wow. Wow. Shit. Now I’m crying. I’m not bawling, but the tears are streaming down my face into my hair. He leans over and wipes them away. “So what do you say?”
I’m shaking my head trying to get my voice to work.
“Yeah?” He says and I can hear in his voice how happy he is.
“Yes!” I finally get out. He kisses me. Hard and possessive. When he pulls back to look at my I talk again. “Let’s do it tomorrow.” He furrows his brow at me and tilts his head. I have to bite back a laugh because he looks so cute, like a confused puppy.
“Don’t you want to wait ’til we get back to the mansion? Have a big party? Have your friends be bridesmaids or some shit?”
“Nope. As long as your there I don’t care about anything else.” and I mean it. I don’t care if I’m wearing a big puffy white gown or jeans and a sweater, as long as he’s the man across from me when I say ‘I do’.
“Ok then, but there ain’t anyplace to do anything but fight around here. So, how about we finish your drive up to Alaska and I’ll make an honest women of you the moment we get there.” I must be smile liking a idiot right now.
“Ok. Deal.” and I started to giggle, like a little girl. I was about to get embarrassed but Logan let out a deep chuckle. More like a bark of laughter that vibrated through his whole body, and mine a little. I hope what I’m about to say doesn’t ruin everything.
“But first, I need to know how you feel about babies.” I’m biting my lip, nervous as hell. Because I know I want kids one day but I know I want Logan also. He surprised me though.
“I like the idea of my kid growing in your stomach. A kid with big brown eyes and brown hair.”
“Or hazel eyes and crazy black hair.”
“I want to have a family with you Marie. I want it all. As long as it’s with you.”
“Kiss me.” and he does. When he finally pulls away my mind feels a little like jelly. Damn. Just from a kiss. “I love you, Logan.” He looks me in the eyes, very seriously, before he speaks.
“I love you, Marie. More than anything.”
So now I find myself engaged and in love…
With Logan.
It was dawn before we actually settled down for sleep. You gotta love that healing factor.
I got a woman in my bed and I’m in love…
And this time it’s the same person.
Marie. My Marie. Soon to be wife and mother to my kids.
I love her and she loves me and I ain’t ever letting her go.
The Wolverine & Rogue Fanfiction Archive
Barely Legal Since 2000
Author's Chapter Notes:
Here it is. The last chapter. Sorry that I had to up the rating but the damn bunny made me do it ;D Enjoy.