I don't want her memories. I don't want her powers. I don't want her personality in my head. I don't want her thoughts.
I don't want her.
I can't stand the grief, the uneasiness and weariness of it all. It's too much. I don't want her around anymore, as if I ever did. She's bringing me down. She's bringing us down. She's tearing me apart.
Tearing us apart.
And ah can't take it. I won't. I won't take the cynical looks she shoots me. Ah won't take the way she flirts with him, the way she guards herself around me, like I might throw a knife in her back or something.
I want her gone.
I'd prayed Logan'd come back, and after two years with me a Junior in high school he finally did. And Jean remembered him, I had hoped she'd forgotten. No rock on her finger. Scott hadn't tied the knot yet, as I hoped he would.
Nothing to hold Logan back.
Scott was just a boyfriend, just like Bobby was to me. Logan went pursuing her again and forgetting about me. Maybe not forgetting me, but not looking at me the way he looked at her. Glazed eyes, tracing her curves, grinning with that smirk of his.
I want her dead.
I don't want this going on. I couldn't take it. My heart is in pieces. They shattered it. She shattered it. It winced when she flirted with him. It hurt when he flirted back. It cried when she left Scott. It bled when she began going steady with him.
And it broke when I saw them kiss.
Ah thought my heart was broken. It was. I thought it couldn't heal. It couldn't. I thought it couldn't get worse.
It could.
Every time I see them together...
...my heart breaks a little more.
I'm a practical person. Usually. I make smart decisions. Usually. I don't run on emotion. Usually.
But this time usually wouldn't cut it. My rational thought blew out the window. My grief and hate clouded my judgment. Suddenly I knew what I had to do.
I had to stop it. Had to stop them, stop him, stop her.
So it didn't feel weird when I picked up the knife, it didn't seem odd to be creeping into their room late at night. The darkness covered me, I made no sound. A bit of light from the bathroom lightly lit the bed.
Logan stirred.
I froze.
His eyes shined, reflecting the light. He drew a deep breath, sorting through my scent. His eyes glazed with realization.
"Marie?"
I didn't answer. I pushed myself forward. I grasped the knife like a rosary, inching closer and closer to the bed. Logan sat up gently so not to wake Jean.
"What are you doing?" he whispered.
I clenched my teeth to keep from responding I leaned over the bed and starred at Jean's still form. Hat shot through my body and I willed the knife-like a dagger-and plunged it into her heart.
The blood covered knife was slippery. I pulled it out and fell to the floor. Logan was to his feet. He roared, pushing me away and hugging Jean. He clutched her wound and cried. Jeans face was wet with their tears, blood dripping from her mouth.
I smiled, satisfied with my work.
"God," Logan cried. "God, Jean. I'm so sorry." He dug his face in her hair and sobbed.
My smile fell.
I stood there and watched her die. I stood there and watched the man I love break down and cry and wallow in grief of losing his. I stood there with blood covered hands, guilt written all over my face.
After my heart broke from his tears, Logan turned to me.
I couldn't move.
His face was barked with a grief I knew all too well. The grief of losing a loved one, of being alone, of being different. A grief I myself knew all too well.
I couldn't breathe.
His eyes pierced through mine. His teeth clenched with hate. He hated me. I understood why. Logan glared at me and looked down at Jean. The once lovable, fiery red head was now a lifeless bloody mess.
I bit my lip. Logan lowered his head and sobbed. He jerked his head up and glared at me, tears rolling down his face.
"Why, Marie?"
I knew what I had to do. I walked towards him, reaching out with a bloody hand. I touched his cheek.
"Get away from me," he growled.
I shook my head and caressed his face. His skin wrinkled he pushed me away.
"Get off!"
He shoved me, hard. I fell to my knees and he stood above me, breathing heavily.
"Get out."
He didn't know what I was trying to do for him.
"But, Logan, I-"
"You!" Logan snarled, his voice was cold and full of hate, "you are nothing to me."
I thought I'd been broken before. This man had torn out my heart. I brushed the tears away and lurched past Logan to Jean's frail form. I grabbed her arm.
"Get away from her!" Logan roared.
I was fast. I knew I had to be. I grasped Logan's power, concentrated it all into a single beam, and shot it into Jean's existence. I barely got the power to her when Logan reached me.
I heard the claws pop.
I saw them enter my shoulder.
I felt the agony.
I fell to the ground. I threw my arm around my three fountains of blood and cried.
Logan's power was fading, but it was still there. They began to heal slowly. Logan looked at me with the most hateful look I had ever seen.
I had to wait, had to make sure everything was fine. Had to make sure his power was gone.
Logan struggled to keep himself. We looked over at the bed. Jean slowly got up. Logan began to cry as he ran to her, he held her and cried.
Logan's power was gone.
How could I live with myself? How could I live with what I'd almost done? What I'd done to him? What I had wanted now impossible.
I couldn't.
Logan loved Jean. If I couldn't accept that then I didn't deserve him. They deserved each other. They loved each other. A shame it took so much for me to realize it.
Logan and Jean turned to me.
I was standing. I was starring at them, the knife in my hand.
Logan and Jean tensed. I looked at Jean.
"I'm sorry."
Jean blinked, moving her head slightly. More than I hoped to get from her.
Logan.
I didn't know what to say.
I love you, Logan. I did it because I love you. I know it doesn't make sense, but I realized my mistake. I saved her because I love you, I wish you the best.
But I couldn't.
"I love you," I added simply, raising the knife. I lifted my free hand to Logan's direction, a halt signal. "Don't you touch me."
And with that warm blood rolled down my nightdress, the blood stained knife falling out of my grasp as I slit my own throat.
The voices in my head were suddenly, finally, silenced.
In the distance I could hear Jean scream.
In the distance I could hear Logan shout.
In the distance I could feel my body collapse.
In the distance my broken heart stopped.
In the distance all wrongs were righted.
Because I was gone.
The Wolverine & Rogue Fanfiction Archive
Barely Legal Since 2000
Story Notes:
Character death (again) sorry.