Logan woke up slowly. He was still slightly groggy, and it took him nearly a minute to realize that he wasn’t alone in his bed. It took his brain even longer to comprehend that he was sharing his bed with very naked Scott Summers. That fact had barely registered when Scott muttered in his sleep and snuggled closer to him, his leg trapping Logan’s thigh and his arm curling over his chest.
Scott.
Summers.
In bed.
In bed with naked Scott Summers.
Naked in bed with equally naked Scott Summers.
It took exactly two seconds from Logan to get up from underneath Scott. It took him even less time to bolt in to the bathroom and lock the door. And it took him no time at all to kick the door back open, grab Rogue who lay at the foot end of the bed and rush her in to the bathroom with him.
“What the fuck is going on?”
“Uhmm… Good morning to you, too, Logan. Care to move? I need to pee.”
“Not before you tell me what the fuck were we doing in that bed!”
“Uh… Sleeping? Logan, I really need to pee…”
“I don’t care! I want to know why the fuck was Summers nuzzling up against me like I was his fucking favorite teddy bear!”
“And I need to pee right now! Let me pass or mop up the floor after I’m finished!”
“Fine. But I need some information.”
“In a sec… Oh-my-God-this-feels-so-fucking-good…”
She peed for what felt like several minutes, moaning pleased and loud enough to give Logan a hard-on.
“My, my… Didn’t know you were in to golden showers, honey…”
“You in to spanking? Because there’s a good one waiting if you don’t start explaining right now.”
“Shees, you’re grumpy. Are you usually like this when you wake up?”
“No. I don’t usually wake up from the same bed with naked Scott.”
“It was your idea. Well, technically it was you and Scott both who came up with this, but…”
“Came up with what?”
“You really don’t remember at all, do you?”
“Last thing I remember is walking in to that bar with you! Scott wasn’t in the picture!”
“Okay. Okay… Just calm down. Nothing happened.”
“What do you mean? Nothing happened? What was supposed to happen?”
“Oh, crap. I need coffee. We both need coffee. Lots of it. Come on, let’s go and grab some, and I promise to explain everything. Okay?”
“I’m not leaving this bathroom until I know what happened!”
“Suit yourself. I’m going to get me some cof… Egh…”
Logan was crushing her against the locked door, his right forearm pressing down on her windpipe, left fist hovering rather threateningly in front of her face. Adamantium was gleaming in between his knuckles.
“Some inventive plastic surgery would probably loosen up your tongue…”
“Logan… Can’t breathe…”
“And you won’t breathe until I hear ‘yes Logan, I will tell you everything that’s happened’…”
“Y… Yess…”
“Good decision. Would have been shame to ruin that pretty face of yours.”
----------------------------------------------------------
“…And that’s when you told Scott to suck it up and act like a man.”
“Sounds just about right,” Logan said, nodding and peering through the crack between the bathroom door and the frame. Scott was still asleep.
“Since Jean had cheated him with Ororo, you guys decided it would be a great idea to make her think that Scott paid back by sleeping with you.”
“Uh-huh. Jean and Ororo? Never would have guessed… Hey! Scott and me?” He slammed the door shut, his gaze dropping to check his crotch. He couldn’t feel anything sticky or slippery between his buttocks, and…
“Calm down, you twit. I told you already. Nothing happened!”
“Then how come I woke up from bed with overly snugly Summers? And you? What the hell were you doing with us? Naked?”
“You guys wanted me to take pictures.”
“Take pictures? Kid…”
“I was supposed to take one picture, and leave it to somewhere were Jean could find it.”
“That still doesn’t explain why you’re naked!”
“You told me to get rid of my clothes. Apparently they were ruining ‘the atmosphere’.”
“This has got to be one hell of a fucked up dream. There’s no other explanation to this… Oh, good morning, Scott.”
“Morning, Logan.”
They stepped politely aside as Scott relieved himself, waiting in silence until he finished and scooted back in to bed, twisting and turning until nothing but a small tuft of light brown hair was visible under covers.
“I’m not exactly saint when it comes to this kind of things, but… Scott?”
“Read it from my lips: N-O-T-H-I-N-G happened. Well, maybe little groping and kissing, but…”
“Groping and kissing! I do not grope and kiss men! Well, maybe occasionally, but… Scott? We’re talking about Scott Summers, for crying out loud!”
Logan turned on the shower, stepping under the spray of water and started scrubbing himself clean quite meticulously.
“And what makes him think he can hog my goddamned bed for the whole morning?” He grunted as an afterthought, glaring towards open door and the currently occupied bed behind it.
“You said it would be alright if he moved in with you until he got things cleared with Jean,” Rogue said, reaching for the top shelf of his bathroom cabinet, grabbing a fresh toothbrush from there.
“That’s a fucking lie.”
“Okay. That one was my idea. But you said it would be okay.”
“I did?”
“After Scott promised to pimp your bike.”
“P… What?”
“Pimp your bike? Like in that show on MTV where they take crappy heaps of junk metal and turn them to cool cars, remember?”
“My motorcycle is not a heap of junk! And the last thing I would do is to allow Scott anywhere near it! … Oh, hi again, Scooter. Need some privacy?” Logan asked when Scott stumbled in to the bathroom; still naked as the day he was born.
“Never mind me, I’ll just brush my teeth…”
“Okay…”
Again they waited, Rogue brushing her teeth, Logan fuming silently while Scott brushed, flossed and gurgled, until his nerves were getting near the breaking point.
“Scott?” He asked. The blond man turned to look at him, cheeks puffed up rather comically, stench of menthol and antiseptics rolling off from him in waves.
“Would it be too much to ask to put on some clothes?” Logan asked. Scott’s eyebrow quirked to an impressive imitation of Logan’s trademark ‘what-the-fuck’ impression and he stared pointedly at Logan who in turn became painfully aware of his own undressed status.
“I can walk around naked in my room when I bloody well feel like it! You… You… What the fuck are you even doing in here, anyway? Aren’t you supposed to be in class already?” Logan stuttered.
“Saturday, Logan. No classes today,” Rogue came to Scott’s aid and left the bathroom, pulling Logan out with her.
They got dressed. At that point even Logan had to admit that breakfast sounded more than appealing.
“But if Summers as much as breathes to my way at the kitchen I’ll carve him up…” He grunted, stalking after Rogue, defeated yet angry scowl on his face. Rogue giggled and waggled her finger.
“Suck it up, big guy. You brought this upon yourself, you have no right to whine about it.”
“I wasn’t whining, just stating a fact. Scott will get something to whine about if I ever hear about this again…”
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Story Notes:
Why it is so gosh darned easy to make fun of Logie?