Had the noise not been coming from behind Rogue’s door, and at 2 o’clock in the morning at that, Logan might never have given it a second thought. He took a deep sniff to try to suss out the reason behind the high-pitched giggles and deep groans, but having just come home from his once-a-month Friday night cage fight in the bar a couple of dozen miles away, he was covered in the scent of blood, tobacco, beer, body odor, and eye-wateringly strong perfume that several of the barflies had apparently taken a bath in. He held in a growl of frustration and moved a little closer without the slightest moral hang-ups about eavesdropping.
“Oh God, Rogue,” a female voice moaned, and Logan’s eyebrow went up to his hairline. That was Yellow, wasn’t it? “Do it again!”
“No! I can’t take anymore,” another female protested, her voice strained and breathless. Damn – Shadowcat too. *How come nobody invited ME to this party?*
“Yes! Oh God, yes! Do it, Rogue!” Jubilee begged again.
“I’m gonna die…” Kitty groaned, but Logan could hear the pleasure in her tone.
*What I wouldn’t give for X-ray vision right about now…*
Soft growls could be heard, and the thud of a body on the floor, and he recognized Marie’s tone as she rumbled, “If you die, it’ll be on my hands, girly. You got that?”
His eyebrow shot up to his hairline. Damn if the girl didn’t sound almost like him. She really had that growl thing down. He wondered if he could just crack the door a little bit to get a peek – No! You have more respect for her than that. And you’re too old to be playing Peeping Tom. Get a grip, man.
Both Jubilee and Kitty could be heard gasping for air, drawing in oxygen like their lungs were on the verge of collapse, and Rogue was still growling. “C’mon, darlin’, you know you want me to,” she snarled, and it sounded like she had something in her mouth. “You like it, dontcha?”
“Y-yes,” Kitty panted. “I do, but – oh God! – Rogue! I can’t breathe!”
Jubilee had started making humming sounds, and suddenly Rogue demanded, with all growl gone from her voice, “Hey! What’re you doin’?”
“Sucking it!” Jubilee answered enthusiastically. “It’s good. It’s salty.”
“You are so weird,” Rogue giggled.
Kitty, sounding like she was beginning to catch her breath, chimed in, “She’s weird? You’re the one doing the whole – ‘twisty bobcat pretzel’ thing.”
Rogue snickered and Jubilee started laughing hysterically. “N-no,” she shouted breathlessly, “It was a Wolverine pretzel! Do it again, Rogue!”
Rogue and Kitty joined in, and soon the shrieking laughter had Logan covering his ears and wondering what the hell was going on. Well, there was one way to find out.
“What the hell is goin’ on in here?” he snarled as he slammed the bedroom door open. Three pairs of wide eyes looked up at him from the floor, and he paused a moment to take in the tableau. All three girls were fully clothed, seated Indian-style in a circle, and little plastic cards were scattered over the bed and floor.
Rogue was holding up a fist with three giant pretzel sticks between her fingers and another wedged between her teeth like a cigar. She spit it out before answering. “Um, we were just playin’ Charades, Logan,” she explained, pink beginning to creep into her cheeks. “I’m sorry if we were bein’ too loud…”
“S’okay, Kid,” he assured her. “What the hell were you tryin’ to do?”
Rogue blushed even more, and Kitty and Jubilee hid giggles behind their hands. “Um, well, it’s Movie Charades, and we were s’posed to act out something from a movie…” Her eyes skidded away from his face and back again. “Well… anyway… I got, um, I had to do a, um, ‘twisty bobcat pretzel,’ only, when I started growling…” She looked down at her hands, suddenly realizing the pretzel-claws were still between her fingers, and hurriedly dropped them into her lap.
Logan closed his eyes briefly, unsure of whether he was disappointed or relieved by this discovery, and shook his head. “G’night, Kid,” he chuckled, leaving the room and closing the door behind him.
As he went on down the hall towards his room, his sensitive ears picked up Jubilee’s shrill voice exclaiming, “Girl! Next time the words ‘pretzel’ and ‘Wolverine’ are in the same sentence, the first word better be ‘naked’!”
Another round of girlish giggles followed and Logan just grinned. Crazy kids.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Okay, I shamelessly admit to three snowballing inspirations for this. The first being when I was walking back from the kitchen with pretzel sticks in my hand, having nearly dropped them, and looked down to realize that three of them were sticking out between my fingers in a fair impression of Logan’s claws. Of course, that got me thinking – Logan, Rogue, pretzels. Hm. Then came the memory of Two Weeks Notice, where Sandra Bullock claims that when it comes to sex, she’s ‘like a twisty, bobcat pretzel.’ (Yes she was drunk.) And right behind that was the memory of one of Agent Mulder’s euphemisms, “the naked pretzel.” And, well, I’ll just go ahead and say, the working title for this little piece of nonsense was “This Is a Very Bad Idea” and the original author’s note read, “Why am I doing this again?” It hasn’t been beta’d. It didn’t deserve that much dignity. ::grins::