“Hello, this is the operator. What’s the city of listing?”
“Uh, Westchester. New York.”
“Business or personal listing?”
“Oh, it’s real personal, lady.”
“All right, sir. What is the name of the person you’re trying to call?”
“Scott Summers. Or if you can’t find that, look under ‘dickhead.’”
(in the background) “Logan? What are you doing?”
(into the phone) “Hang on just a second, darlin’.” (clunking sounds as hand is placed over receiver, muffled voice continues) “Just callin’ that two-timin’ sneak, Summers. I’m gonna get her back.”
(in the background) “I really think you should just let it go. You’ll find another one you like just as much. Let Scott keep her. She’s his by right anyway.”
(muffled) “We’ll talk about this later, Marie.” (into the phone) “Sorry about that. You got the number yet?”
“I’m sorry, sir. There isn’t a Scott Summers listed for Westchester.”
(in the background) “Logan, I think we need to talk about this *now.* You’re obsessing. You need to move past it.”
(into the phone) “Oh – um, try Xavier, Charles Xavier. That’s X-A-V-”
(background) “Are you listening to me?”
“I-E-R. Yeah, thanks.” (muffled) “Marie, I have to get her back. I ain’t gonna find another one like her, ever. She’s one of a kind.”
(background) “You don’t know that. Look, let’s go find a show. They have lots around here. You can see if you find one you like there. You might even find one prettier.”
(muffled) “It ain’t so much her looks, Marie. It’s the way she handles herself, the way she makes me *feel.*”
(from the phone) “Sir? Excuse me, I’m sorry.”
(into the phone) “Go ahead.”
“I have no listing for a Charles Xavier, but I recognized the name and took the liberty of running it as a business. I do have a listing for a Xavier’s School…”
“Yeah, that’s it!”
“Well, I have several numbers listed. It seems some of the faculty have direct lines.”
“Is there a number for Jean Grey?”
(background) “Logan, no…”
“Yes, there is. Would you like the number or would you like me to connect you for an additional twenty-five cent charge?”
“Connect me, please.”
(background) “Logan, you’re not serious! You can’t call Jean about this! You know she’ll take Scott’s side. Now just stop before you get your feelings hurt…”
(ringing)
(click) “Hello?”
“Jeannie, hey. It’s Logan.”
(silence) “Hello, Logan.”
“Listen, I know you probably don’t want to talk to me –”
“Under the circumstances, no, I don’t. This is between you and Scott—”
“Well, that’s why I’m callin’. Is the little sneak-thief around there anywhere?”
(background) “Logan!”
“Is that Rogue there with you, Logan?”
“Yeah it is.”
(quietly) “There are so many things wrong with this picture." (louder) "You’re getting very good at being the pot calling the kettle black, you know.”
"What’re you talkin’ about?”
“You were the thief first. Scott only took back what was his in the first place.”
“Christ, Jeannie! You of all people have no room to lecture me on this.”
“It was a one time thing, Logan, I –”
“Mine was only one time too, or are you forgetting that?”
(background) “Logan, please, just give it up. I’ll even go with you and help you pick one out.”
“I think you should listen to Rogue. Cut your losses. Move on. There’s a better one for you out there.”
“Uh-huh. Shoulda figured you’d be a turncoat. Well, fine. But if I can’t find one, I’m comin’ back for your boyfriend’s, y’hear? And next time he wants to know how the Porsche got that scratch on the rear bumper, I’m gonna tell him ‘bout the time his girlfriend got tipsy and took it out for a joy-ride.”
“You wouldn’t dare.”
“I would, too. See ya, Jeannie.”
“Logan--!”
(click) “All right, Marie. Let’s go find one of these shows just so I can prove to everybody that Summers has got the only one I want.”
“Logan…”
“I’m serious, Marie. She was just so…” (sighs)
“Geez.”
“No, I’m serious, I mean –”
“I know, Logan, I know. I’m just startin’ to think about gettin’ some kind of little red button installed on me somewhere. I don’t think you’d be this upset if it was *me* Scott had run off with.”
(snorts) “That would never happen.”
“You sure?”
“Marie…”
“I mean, really. He’s kinda sexy, you know.”
“Marie!”
“Admit it. You’ve noticed.”
“I have not—what the hell are you suggestin’?”
“Oh, nothin’ sugar. Nothin’.”
(silence)
“Marie?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you think they’d do that?”
“Who? Do what?”
“Install a little red button…”
“On me!?”
“No – on the new bike. If I find one I like.”
“I’m sure we could do that, Logan. And I’m sure you’ll find one you
like.”
(sighs) “Okay. Let’s go.”
“Can I pick out the color?”
“We’ll see.”
“Pleeeeeeeeeease?”
“Well… as long as it ain’t purple or somethin’.”
“How about green?”
“Well… if it’s one we both like. Deal?”
“Deal.”
The End
“Operator” by Jim Croce
Operator, could you help me place this call?
You see the number on the matchbook is old and faded,
She's living in L.A, with my best old ex-friend Ray,
A guy she said she knew well, but sometimes hated.
Isn't that the way they say it goes,
But let’s forget all that,
And give me the number if you can find it
So I can call just to tell her I'm fine,
And to show, I overcome the blow,
I learned to take it well,
I only wish my words could just convince myself
That it just wasn't real, but thats not the way it feels.
Operator, could you help me place this call,
'Cause I can't read the number that you just gave me,
Theres something in my eyes,
You know it happens everytime,
I think about the love that I thought would save me.
Isn't that the way they say it goes,
But lets forget all that,
And give me the number if you can find it
So I can call just to tell her I'm fine,
And to show, I overcome the blow,
I learned to take it well,
I only wish my words could just convince myself
That it just wasn't real, but thats not the way it feels.
No, no, no, no, that's not the way it feels
Operator, lets forget about this call,
There's no one there I really wanted to talk to,
Thank you for your time,
You've been so much more then kind.
You can keep the dime.
Isn't that the way they say it goes,
But lets forget all that,
And give me the number if you can find it
So I can call just to tell her I'm fine,
And to show, I overcome the blow,
I learned to take it well,
I only wish my words could just convince myself
That it just wasn't real, but thats not the way it feels.
The Wolverine & Rogue Fanfiction Archive
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Author's Chapter Notes:
This is unbeta’d (which will probably become obvious immediately), and also my first dialogue-only fic.