It was a perfectly ordinary Monday morning.
Correction - it was a perfectly ordinary Monday morning until Bobby and Kitty showed up in the Professor's office wearing their most concerned expressions.
"Yes?" Xavier asked and looked at them.
Bobby looked at Kitty.
Kitty looked at Bobby.
"Well, Professor, we're kind of concerned about Rogue, Logan and Mr. Summers," Kitty finally said.
Xavier frowned.
"Has something happened to them?" He asked worried.
The two students exchanged another look.
"They have been in the Danger Room all morning, Sir," Bobby explained.
"That is nothing to worry about, Bobby. Both Scott and Logan like to train in the Danger Room, as do Rogue," the telepath reassured them.
"Not like that, Professor - they're using Pokémon characters as target-practice!" Kitty exclaimed.
Xavier closed his eyes and shook his head.
Oh, dear.
The Danger Room
"There! Kill it! It's getting away!!" Scott yelled.
A few well-placed kicks from Rogue sent the brown and green Pokémon flying through the air.
"Beautiful, darlin'," Logan said and clawed another one of the annoying creatures.
"Thanks, sugah. You're not doing too bad, yourself," Rogue grinned and then applauded as Scott's optic beams cut a pink-scaled...something...in half.
"Hey, catch!" Logan yelled and threw a round, furry Pokémon at Rogue. She quickly grabbed a nearby baseball bat and slammed the creature across the room.
"Wow! Definitely a home-run," Scott decided.
"Cyke! Behind you!"
Scott spun around and blasted the approaching Pokémon.
"Whew. Thanks, Logan."
"Don't expect it to become a habit," Logan replied and looked around. "Hey, has anyone seen the Yellow Rat?" He asked.
The others shook their head.
"Well, he can't hide forever," Rogue said and shrugged before she kicked another Pokémon.
"When it shows up, it's mine," Logan growled.
"Be my guest, sugah."
Scott grabbed a knife and threw it after something that looked like a walking onion. "You know, next time we'll have to program this with more Pikachus," he decided.
"Definitely," Rogue agreed. A glint of yellow behind a bush caught her attention.
"HEY! There it is! GET IT!!!" She screamed.
Logan grinned like a maniac and grabbed the creature by the neck.
"Pikachu!" The yellow thing whined in a high-pitched voice.
Logan winced. No one - least of all someone with heightened senses -should have to hear that voice.
He popped his claws.
"Well, well. Say goodbye, rat, 'cause we're gonna..."
He stopped dead in his tracks when he heard someone clear their throat.
Slowly, the three partners in crime turned around.
Professor X raised an eyebrow and surveyed the room.
Logan, his claws out and aimed at the yellow thing in his hand. Rogue, baseball bat in hands and a knife hanging in her belt. Scott with another knife and his visor. Around them lay countless mutilated bodies of various Pokémon characters, along with assorted swords, knifes, chainsaws, axes, whips, guns, heavy sticks and small bombs.
The Professor sighed.
Rogue, Logan and Scott shared a look.
"Ehhh...oops?" Rogue said, rather unconvincingly.
The Professor shook his head.
"I think we need to talk."
Professor Xavier's office, five minutes later.
"Just what were you doing in the Danger Room?" The Professor asked.
"We were...umm...practicing, Sir," Scott explained.
"Practicing?"
"Yeah, ya know - Brotherhood an' stuff an' all," Logan said and shrugged.
The Professor sighed.
"And what, if I may ask, do cartoon characters have to do with Erik and his associates?"
"Well, it was kind of 'just in case'. You never know what Magneto might come up with," Rogue hurriedly explained.
"And you feared that Erik might use Japanese Anime characters against us?"
Eager nods.
"Don't you find that just a little...improbable?" the Professor questioned.
"That's what he wants you to think, Sir! Those creatures are pure evil! They are brainwashing kids all over the world," Scott exclaimed.
"They're making sure that nobody will be able to resist Magneto when he takes over the world! It's damn clever," Rogue added.
Logan growled.
"But we're a hell of a lot smarter than him! It ain't gonna work on us!"
"Yeah, we'll be waiting for him!" Scott agreed.
"And this has nothing to do with the Pokémon movie you had to sit through yesterday?" Xavier asked and hid a smile. Their excuse was creative, if nothing else.
"No!" The three chorused.
The Professor nodded.
"Can we go now, Sir?" Rogue asked.
"Yes, I think we're done."
The three had barely left before Bobby and Kitty showed up again.
"Yes?" Xavier asked and felt an odd sense of dejá-vu.
"It's Miss Munroe and Dr. Grey, Professor," Bobby said.
"They're in the Danger Room," Kitty explained.
The Professor sighed.
"Let me guess: They are also beating up Pokémons?" he asked.
"No, Sir, they're..." Kitty was interrupted when Storm's normally so dignified voice rung through the hallways, carrying a very clear message:
"MWAHAHAHA!!! DIE, BARNEY!!! DIIIIIIIIIE!!!!!!!!!"
The Wolverine & Rogue Fanfiction Archive
Barely Legal Since 2000
Author's Chapter Notes:
To Dark Ferret and to those poor souls who've ever had to suffer through Pokémon or Barney. And Jamie, that last line is all for you, girl ;-)