3:55 p.m.
The Xavier's School's Garage
"Marie? You know I love you more than anything and that I would die to keep you safe, but don't make me do this!!! I don't NEED more fucking nightmares!"
"Oh, Logan, quit being such a baby. It's only a movie"
"It's a POK…MON movie! And we'll watch it with five hyperactive kids! Why do WE have to go with them? Can't Scooter and Jeannie do it alone??"
Rogue sighed.
"Sugah, Storm and Jean took them to see the 'Barney the Purple Dinosaur' movie. It's our turn now."
Logan thought about it for a few seconds. What was worst? A bunch of sickeningly cute cartoon animal or one over-grown purple - PURPLE! -dinosaur (that was long overdue for extinction, by the way).
"I get your point," he grudgingly admitted.
"I'm so glad," Rogue smiled and clapped his cheek.
4:03 p.m.
One of Xavier's SUVs
This was a new record, Logan thought. Three minutes with the kids and he would fucking help Magneto escape just to get out of this shit.
"Mr. Logan?" one of the kids - Mary? Melanie? - asked.
Logan kept his eyes on the road and focused on his driving.
"Yeah?" That was a fairly safe thing to say, he decided. If he just stayed with the short replies, the kids might leave him alone.
"Are you in love with Miss Rogue?"
Logan almost choked. In the rear-mirror he could see Scott's smirk. Bastard.
"Have you kissed her?" the girl continued. Marie giggled.
"Well, have you?" the little girl pressed on.
Marie finally took pity on him.
"Yes, he has, Michelle. Now, let Logan focus on his driving, okay sweetie?" she said.
"You've been kissing? Ewww!" This time, it was one of the boys. One-Eye's grin just grew wider.
Logan sighed.
This was going to be a long trip.
4:45 p.m.
In the theater
No, no, no, no, NO! This wasn't happening. This was just a very bad nightmare - kind of like the one where the doctors cut him open...just many times worse. Many, many times worse, Logan decided.
_Fuck! How can a room full of kids be that noisy?! My ears will never recover!_
Logan winced as one of the kids let out a particular high-pitched scream - unfortunately, it was not one of the kids from the school so he couldn't even flash his claws to shut them up.
"You okay, sugah?" Rogue asked as the movie started and the kids became a bit less noisy.
"Oh, yeah. I'm fine. Never been better," Logan replied with a voice heavy of sarcasm.
"Poor baby," Rogue said and took his hand. "But don't worry - the movie only lasts an hour and a half."
Logan whimpered.
_Shit! An hour and a half? That's ninety minutes! Or...hold on...five thousand, four hundred seconds! I'm fucked...and not in a good way. Shit, shit, SHIT!_
4:55 p.m.
The first Pokémon song blasted through the theater and caused a number of things to happen:
The kids screamed along to the tune. Logan winced again as he felt the curse that was 'Sensitive ears in a theater filled with screaming kids'. Scott sank into his seat and whimpered. Rogue took Logan's hand and muttered, "Don't claw the seats, sugah," and tried to hide her own agony. Pikachu appeared on the screen and very intelligently said "Pikachu." The kids, of course, screamed the same thing.
And Logan wished - not for the first time - that he could just slice and dice the damn cartoon creatures.
5:15 p.m.
"Shit! I don't care if it's a cartoon character - I'm gonna kill that fucking yellow rat!" Logan growled and Rogue sent him a stern look.
Logan wasn't really concerned about anyone else hearing his threats - between twenty nauseatingly cute movie characters and a whole room full of little kids he was actually pretty surprised that Marie had even heard his growl in the first place.
Pikachu - or 'Yellow-Rat-That's-Soon-To-Die-A-Very-Sudden-And-Nasty-Death', as Logan preferred - did yet another disgustingly cute thing and the audience found themselves face-to-face with a close-up of said rat's big doe-eyes. The kids, of course, were ecstatic.
Logan growled again and drove his fingers deep into the seat.
"Calm down, sugah - there's only one hour left," Rogue mumbled and snuggled closer.
_An hour? That's a fucking hour too much!_
5:45 p.m.
"So how'd you get conned into doing this?" Logan mumbled, barely loud enough for Scott to hear. The movie had apparently reached some critical point because the kids - and the cartoon-fuckheads - were amazingly quiet.
"Jean told me - in no uncertain terms - that if I didn't do it, I'd been sleeping on the couch for the next month," Scott replied and sighed.
Pause.
"I should have picked the couch," he added remorsefully.
Logan smirked.
"Look at the bright side," he said. "At least you don't have enhanced senses. I had no idea that kids could make that much noise."
Scott winced. "Ouch"
"Yeah"
6:15 p.m.
Logan, Rogue and Scott staggered out of the theater, followed by the five kids.
"I feel like I just had a run-in with bucket-head," Logan grumbled. He was pretty sure he could feel one hell of a headache coming -pretty impressive, considering his healing factor.
"You know, we just survived ninety minutes of bad cartoon, corny songs and screaming kids," Rogue observed as they got the kids into their SUV.
"Yeah," Scott said. "But we've survived the worst part."
The three of them exchanged a look, then turned to stare at the five hyperactive kids in the vehicle.
"On second thought..." Scott said and paled as the kids began to sing a song from the movie.
"You know," Rogue mumbled, "I've heard that the Brotherhood doesn't make its members to things like this."
Scott and Logan looked at each other, then at the kids.
For a second, the offer actually sounded tempting.
7:00 p.m.
The five kids ran through the door and animatedly started to talk about the movie. Scott sent Jean a pathetic look, then collapsed in her arms.
Rogue and Logan somehow made it all the way to their room before they collapsed on their bed, completely exhausted.
"I'll never, ever watch a Pokémon movie again," Rogue mumbled and hugged her pillow.
"Couldn't agree more, darlin'. Couldn't agree more."
And as they fell to sleep, Logan briefly wondered if the Danger Room had a 'Beat Up Pokémon' - program.
Oh, well. Otherwise, they'd just have to make one.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Yes, I have serious Pokémon issues. And Barney the fucking Purple Dinofreak issues, too. (Blame the Pokémon issues on the time I had to baby-sit a girl who wanted to watch the first Pokémon-movie. I think I'm scarred for life.)