I am the Wolverine. I am a growling badass who kicks people's asses for fun. I cage-fight for a living. I don't care about anyone but myself. I have one-night stands with random women in bars. I kill without any remorse whatsoever.
And I do fucking NOT have a conscience!
Let me repeat that:
I. Do. Not. Have. A. Conscience!!
*Yeah, right. Of course you don't, old boy,* a voice agreed with him.
"Shut up!"
*You're lying to yourself, you know that? Bad habit, old chap, I'm disappointed.*
For some odd reason the voice actually sounded amused.
"Didn't I tell you to shut the fuck up?"
*Really, if you didn't care about anyone else, why did you pick up Marie?*
"'Cause she would've frozen to death if I hadn't!"
*She could have hitched a hike with another driver.*
"Hey! She could've been hurt! Some of those guys are pretty bad."
*I thought you just said you didn't care about anyone else.*
"I don't! I was just helping her!"
*Riiiight. And almost getting yourself killed on the Statue of Liberty was also 'just helping her'?*
"She's a good kid, an' she's got her whole life ahead of her. She doesn't deserve to die because of that shit-head Magneto or whatever he calls himself. 'Sides, it was a great chance to get back at the junkyard cat for what he did to my camper...Hey, it was!"
*Of course.*
Logan was almost positive that the voice would have smirked, if it could.
"Glad we understand each other."
*Now, back to the subject. 'A good kid?' Logan, Logan, Logan. She's eighteen now. That's legal, you know.*
"She's legal? Hmmm...Ehh...I mean - she's still a kid compared to me!"
*Compared to you, everyone is a kid.*
"Gee, thanks."
*Anytime, old boy.*
"..."
*And besides, if you still think of her as a kid, how come you remember so much about her?*
"Because I spent so much time with her, dick-head. I remember a lot about Jeannie, too."
*You don't remember how Jeannie's ass looks. Or what she smelled like when you said you'd be leaving for a while. Or the look in her eyes when you gave her your dog-tags.*
"I didn't say goodbye to Jean an' Marie's the one wearing the tags."
*My point exactly.*
"You think I'm in love with a girl who's not only young enough to be my daughter - if not granddaughter - but also has lethal skin?? That's the craziest damn thing I've ever heard!"
*You said that. Not me.*
"The fuck I did!"
*Then why do you unconsciously seek out women with Southern accent and auburn hair - or those who wear gloves?*
"She's...I'm no good for her. She deserves someone her own age, someone that doesn't have metal claws and horrible nightmares."
*So you admit that you love her?*
"Fuck you! Okay, if that's what you wanna hear - yes, I love her damnit! She's beautiful, caring, smart - everything that I'm not. I love her more than anything, but it will - never - fucking - happen!"
*I see we're making progress here. Now, why won't it happen?*
"She's too young an' I'm too old. An' I hurt her - almost killed her once. If I stay around her, I'd only hurt her again. And I couldn't live with that. So it's better for the both of us if I just stay away and let her get on with her life."
*They must have implanted that metal into your skull, too. It's not natural to be so thick-headed.*
"Listen, bub, you have a death-wish or somethin'?"
*Logan, I'm your conscience. You can't kill me.*
"Wanna bet?"
*It's days like this where I just don't see what she loves so damn much about you.*
"Why, you little...hey! Who loves me so damn much?"
*If you stopped thinking with you ass, you might have noticed it a lot sooner.*
"Who the fuck are you talking about?!"
*You mean you didn't know? How could you have missed it?*
"I'll ask you one more time: Who. The. Fuck. Are. You. Talking. About??"
*Marie, of course. Who else?*
"Marie loves me?"
*Yes.*
"She really loves me?"
*Is there an echo in here or something?*
"You mean, like in Love? The big L?"
*What else?*
"I mean, I just...I didn't think that...I mean...she loves me?"
*You want me to spell it out for you?*
"..."
*Now, why don't you pull your head out of your ass, get on Scooter's bike and get back home before one of the little dick-heads in Xavier's school try to put the moves on her?*
"If they do, they'll loose a very important part of their anatomy. She's mine!"
*So glad we agree, old chap, so glad.*
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Author's Chapter Notes:
I've done this kind of thing once before, in another fandom, and decided to try with the X-verse, too. For some reason the thought of Logan arguing with his conscience seemed quite amusing...
*...* Logan's conscience speaking.
"..." Logan speaking.