I could feel him in the room again. He'd come by the other day to see what I was up to, if I was up to writing after what had happened at the vet, and I was, so he stayed awhile, kicking back with one of my stash of Molson that he thinks I keep just for him. He sat in the chair off to my right as I was at Wiggy, complaining that he didn't have a footstool, which was just as well because anything short of a metal milk crate would be destroyed by those boots of his, and I wrote some then. I don't even remember what I wrote now, and it was only just a few days ago, but then we all know I'm a dozy heifer when it comes to remembering things, even stories I've written.
And here he was, in the room again, looming over my shoulder and I could tell that him being sensitive and nice to me was a thing that had passed, and unless another tragedy befell me, it would be a while till I saw that side of him without Marie on his lap. And considering how often Marie doesn't visit me, it's gonna be a while.
"What the hell are you writing?" he growled, looking over my shoulder and generally being annoying.
I looked back at him and raised an eyebrow. "Do you really care?" I asked.
"It's about me. I can feel it."
I snorted. Yes, Logan has his vain side.
"Sorta. Not really how you think, though. I have to write this thing for class. I think I'm gonna have to redo it from scratch though, so I'm writing a little bit about you and I'm gonna see if I can't work it in somewhere."
I tell him that, and it's the truth mainly, and I'm back to my book, trying to figure out if I really can spill all my guts at once, or if maybe I should do it piece meal so I still have most of a whole, unshredded heart when I'm finished. And a while later I absently take a sip of my latte that is cold, because Jean-Claude won't steam stuff anymore and I have to wait for Remy if I want a hot latte, and he's still there, sitting on the edge of my bed calmly, which is weird cause he never sits there and he's never calm and now we're going into shaky ground cause I don't know this side of him and I'm a control freak, so that scares me. Then I realize that I'm babbling in my mind, and I wonder if I'll write down this little interplay with Logan later on or just leave it for the Muses to record, cause maybe I won't be able to capture how I'm feeling, but then again maybe I will.
But he's there and it's strange so I spin around and stare at him, wondering if simply staring at him will make it come to me, or if I need him to spell it out. And he changes the track of the CD we're listening to - it's his mix and he knows what is where - to something a little more like him. U2 and someone else singing 'When Love Comes To Town', except my version cuts off a minute and a half into it and so we're on to Tragically Hip before I know it, but he likes that song too. And he's just staring at me and it's beginning to piss me off that I can't instantly know what he's thinking about, and it's then that I know, of course.
It's gotta be some weird initiation.
Logan's heard of that fic Jenn was writing, the one where she had his motivation so hidden from the person who's POV the story was told through that even I couldn't penetrate it, and he must have known how frustrating that was for me. And then on top of it, Jenn asked me to write the other part of the story, from Logan's POV, cause wasn't I just the best one to do that? Except that I still couldn't see his motivation, or his reasoning, or exactly where she was taking the characters, so how on earth could I write the other side of the story?
A challenge, she'd said. She dared me to write it. She double dared me. She even triple dog dared me, and when was the last time I've heard that phrase? And in the end, I relented even though I hadn't the faintest clue as to how to go about it, on the condition that she do a few things for me, and now here was Logan.
He was trying to help, I'm sure. Should I tell him it's not working?
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Of course this really happened. You don't think I'd lie to you, do you? Dedication: To Jenn, whose fault this is.