Title: Missing 4/?
Author: sharonmjl47
Rating: NC-17
Category: Movieverse.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, and no one. Sad, isn’t it!
Feedback: Please, bad or good. If no one tells me it’s bad, I won’t know!
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“Sorry…. I…. um… don’t touch… skin… can’t help….it.” Hank had sat Louise on his desk chair out of the chamber room and was kneeling in front of her. He leant her forward and was helping her blow slowly in and out of the paper bag. He kept having to shake his head to clear the flow of emotions and images that came from Louise whenever he accidentally touched her face to help her. “I… can’t control… it…. when….”
“I understand, my dear. There’s no harm done. Just breathe, concentrate on your breathing. In an out, in and out… that’s it.”
“Li… Liam?” Hank noticed how pale her face was. He had to keep touching her hands and face to help her with the bag because she was shaking so much. The push of emotions and images wasn’t painful, but the strength of them made it hard to concentrate. “I need… Li- Liam… He…”
“Logan will fetch him. Just keep going, in and out, in and out.”
Hank glanced towards the pale blue chamber and shook his head, no wonder neither of them had been able to cope. They hadn’t seen his mother since their seventh birthday, and then suddenly they are confronted with her seemingly lifeless body.
Glancing back top Louise he hoped that Logan would come back quickly with the boy. Normal panic attacks only lasted for around 2 to 3 minutes and h hoped that given the emotional nature of her mutation it would last too much longer.
Logan caught up with Liam at the other end of the lower levels. Liam was trying to find the elevator but couldn’t and was now standing in front of eight X-Men uniforms in glass cabinets.
“Liam, wait… you can’t get out through this end.”
Liam gestured to the cabinets. “This is why. This is why she’s stuck in a fucking tank, and she’s missed everything in her own damn life!” He hit the nearest cabinet with the palm of his hand, making the uniformed dummy inside shake slightly before settling again.
“We had no idea about Clemency until she called Hank for help, Remy got her involved. *I* had no idea what she was doing. Otherwise I would have stopped her. You have no idea how much I love that woman and what I would do, what I‘ve done, to keep her safe!”
Liam whirled on him. “So that’s why you let her go, is it? That’s why you didn’t see her for, what, seven years! If you loved her so damn much, why did you let her go? Why didn’t you try and find her, explain…”
Logan grabbed his jacket and shoved him violently against on of the cabinets. “I DID! I tried to explain, but she wouldn’t listen. She said things. She said a lot of… *bad* things, made it perfectly clear what she thought of me. I *tried* to find her after, but Xavier was the only one who knew where she was, and he wouldn’t tell me. *She* made him promise. I threatened to kill him, rip him apart, and he still wouldn’t tell me!” He let Liam go and stepped back a little, trying to calm himself down. “You’re right. It is my fault. I brought her to this place.”
Liam wiped his face, trying to hide the tears that had spilled, his anger easing along with Logan’s. “When?”
“She was sixteen. We met on the road.”
Liam sat down on the bench in front of the uniforms. “On the road?”
“She ran away from home, and I was… travelling around. We met up, one thing led to another, we ended up here.”
“So, if she was sixteen, when did you start… you know…”
“Dating her?” Liam nodded. Logan leaned against the wall, hands casually in his pockets, and chuckled. “About three minutes past midnight on her eighteenth birthday.”
Liam frowned. “She was eighteen? Why her?”
Logan shrugged. “I dunno. There were woman before her, beautiful woman like she is, but she, I don’t know, had something. She carried herself differently, a strength she always got from somewhere to just get on with it. Never complained, never wished for what she couldn’t have. She’s a special woman, beautiful and kind and just, I don’t know, *her*. She’d always find the good in people, even the ones that were trying to kill us. Don’t get me wrong, we had our problems and we argued, a lot, but we fit somehow.”
“That’s why you love her so much, ‘cause you do love her don’t you?”
Logan locked his gaze with his son’s. “Yes, yes I do love her and no, I love her so much because she’s never been afraid of me. She knows me. She knows every single moment of my life, where I’ve been, who I’ve seen, and, most importantly, what I’ve done. Absolutely everything.” He could see Liam confusion and tried to soften his tone. “Look Liam, the majority of my life I can‘t remember anyway, but the rest… well wasn‘t good until I met her. I didn‘t live very well and I wasn‘t a nice guy. I’m being honest with you because I’m common knowledge around here and I don’t want you hearing the bad stuff from someone else and getting the wrong idea. Your mother wanted me, even knowing all of that shit, and it changed me, really changed me.”
There were a few moments of silence between them before Logan sat on the bench next to him. “I know that the *tank* is a lot to take in. It’s not nice. I hate it, hate seeing her in it, but Hank won’t give up.”
Liam nodded grimly. “Do you talk to her?”
He chuckled again. “Yeah, I don’t know if she can hear or not. I bet she’s tired of listening to me gabble on about a lotta shit everyday.”
“On the tape, she said that you saved her life?”
Logan stood back up and shrugged wandering by the glass cabinets. “Yeah, kinda.”
“Well, how?”
Logan looked at him and frowned. “Um, you ever heard of Magneto?”
“Yeah, really powerful. Didn’t he die a couple of years ago?”
“Yeah, he did. He built this machine that would mutate normal humans and turn them into mutants. He put your mother in it and tried to mutate the world leaders. Machine basically killed her, and I touched her skin. She couldn’t control it back then. She took in my healing, and well, you get the rest.”
Liam nodded slightly, too awe-struck to say anything. This was his dad, a superhero, a real hero. Liam had never been in any kind of situation where he had to give his own life for another’s. He hoped that he never would be but also hoped that if he were, he would be as brave as his father obviously had been and still was.
“I’m sorry. That things… you know, with mom. We missed a lot of her too, but at least we had her for a while.”
He gave a small sigh. “I’m sorry too, I mean I understand, you know, she was right this place wasn’t anywhere to bring up two babies. What students we could we sent back to their families and those that couldn’t go anywhere we had to keep on the grounds and protect them. So I understand her I really do, but… doesn’t make the fact that I’ve missed out on my own kids any easier.”
Liam stood up in front of Logan. “We’re here now.”
He slapped him on the shoulder, a large smile on his lips. “Yeah, you are and you have no idea how pleased I am about that. When she comes out of that tank, and it is ‘when’, not ‘if’, we’ll have a few words. Knowing Marie, she’ll put me through a wall before I can open my mouth!”
Liam laughed feeling completely at ease and in awe, he suddenly saw what he’d missed out on, this ma, his father and a hero on top of all that. He consiere Logan’s words and frowned. “I doubt she’d manage to get you of the ground, let alone through a wall. You’re as big as I am!”
It was Logan’s turn to frown. “What exactly do you know about her muta…” Liam turned his head towards the med lab, felt something like panic towards his sister, like a connection or a sixth sense and his face paled. “What? What is it?”
“Lou!” He took off in a dead run towards the med lab, and Logan followed him. When they got into the med lab, Hank was still on his knees in front of Louise, trying to help her breath in and out of a paper bag. “LOU! Damn it!”
“I’ve been trying to calm her, but nothing seems to work.” Hank stood up and let Liam crouch in front of her. He put his hand on her knee and held the bag with the other. Her breathing didn’t ease, and her colour didn’t improve either.
“Hank, what the hell is wrong?”
“Panic attack, poor girl. I would say she suffers with them rather a lot, given the severity of it.”
Logan wanted to be next to her like Liam, but knew he shouldn’t push, he ran his hand over his face. He had known them less than a couple of hours and already he wanted to protect them, keep them safe, love them. He briefly hoped that they felt the same and vowed to get to know them properly. “Can’t you help her?”
Hank didn’t have a chance to answer as Liam cut in. “No, he can’t, but I can.” He turned back to his sister. “Lou? Look at me. Let it go.”
She shook her head. “Not… fair. Hurt… you. We …agreed… no more.”
Hank and Logan exchanged concerned and confused looks. “Lou, you’re gonna pass out if you don’t, and you know you get it worse when you wake up. Come on, just let it go.”
“B… but…” Liam knew that she would pass out soon. Her skin was almost translucent, her lips blue, and her breathing was if anything getting more panicked.
“Ya can’t hurt me, never have yet. Please, just do it.”
She took another few short pants and nodded. “S… so… sorry!”
Suddenly her eyes shone pure white. Liam grabbed both of her hands in his as the light from her eyes spread in a glow around her face, slowly down her neck, down her arms and into her hands. Then it engulfed Liam, spreading over him, making him gasp. He looked like he was trying to walk headlong into a strong wind that pushed him back, but he held on. Logan could sense the pain coming off of both of them as he and Hank watched dumbstruck at the sheer power they were witnessing.
As suddenly as the light had appeared, it vanished, leaving the air crackling with hot emotion. Liam stood up and leaned on Hank while he got his bearings back, breathing heavily, but calming quickly.
Louise got up and stood by his side, running her hands up and down his back. Her cheeks were rosy again, and her breathing normal. “Liam, I am so sorry. Seeing her like that it was just such a ….”
“Shock!” They said it in perfect unison and then laughed together.
“Seriously, you ok?”
He straightened up and smiled at her, then held out his hand, extending his pinkie finger only. “Marko.”
She smiled and linked her own finger with his, tugging on it a little. “Polo.”
Logan threw his hands up in the air. “OK, what the merry fuck just happened here?”
Both the twins looked at Logan and Hank. They disentangled their fingers. “I get panic attacks, and I can’t control my mutation. It builds up and up until…” She shrugged. “It does that. I… I have to have an outlet, or they just keep coming worse each time. Liam is…”
“The outlet! Funny, I could have sworn I was your brother.” She laughed at him and slapped him playfully on the arm.
Hank checked Louise’s pulse, smiled, and then immediately turned to her brother. He got a small flashlight out of his breast pocket and held Liam’s head still as he looked into the boy’s eyes, not really knowing what he expected to find or even what he was looking for. “I’m fine, really. The healing takes care of it.”
Hank harrumphed. “You heal. Why am I not surprised? Yes, you appear to be ok,” He picked up Liam’s wrist and looked at his watch to measure his pulse. “… but I have to say this cavalier attitude towards your healing factor…” Hank peered at Logan over the top of his glasses, “is rather reminiscent of someone else’s and as the years go by, increasingly annoying. You may well heal, my boy, but you’re not immune to everything.”
Louise fiddled with the hem of her jacket. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Liam smiled at her, and she smiled back. Logan watched on, marvelling again at how much she looked like her mother.
“Can I see her again? I’m calm now and…”
Hank put his huge hand on her arm. “Both of you can see her whenever you wish,. There will never be any question about that.”
She smiled at him as Logan took his swipe card got of his pocket and gave it to her. “Hank’ll take you in.” She nodded at him and followed Hank to the circular door.
Liam went to go as well, but Logan held his arm and silently asked him to wait. Once Louise and Hank were through the door, Liam turned to Logan. “What?”
“You sure you’re ok? It wasn’t just emotional pain. I could smell it on both of you, especially you.”
He shrugged. “I’m ok. She can’t help it. We’ve just, I don’t know, learnt to deal with it, I guess.”
“How long?”
“She’s had panic attacks since mom died… well, since we *thought* she died. When Lou’s mutation came out, they got worse. Used to be about once every other month, but the last year or so, it’s more like once a month, a couple sometimes. She just can’t breath like earlier, and she has to let it out or it won’t stop, and…” He rubbed the back of his knuckles, unsure whether to tell Logan about it. He hadn’t ever mentioned it to anyone before, but for some reason, he felt an instant bond and trust with him. “Couple’a times a week, she wakes up in the middle of the night shaking, like some kinda epileptic fit. Once, she was shaking so hard the room was shaking along with her. It’s… it’s all I can do to hold her still. It’s worse if she’s been stressed. She never wanted to tell anyone how we dealt with it. She doesn’t like using me like that, but if she just let it go without anything in its path, I… I don’t what it would do.”
“Does she know it hurts you that much?”
“No. And I don’t want her to. Like I said, she can’t help it.”
“Hank and probably the Professor can help her…”
“She won’t let anyone help. I’ve tried. Most of the time, she even tries to keep it from me, but I can hear her shake at night. I think she was always afraid that Clara and Fred wouldn’t understand and not want us or something.”
“Why would anyone not want you? That’s ridiculous.”
He looked at his feet and sighed. “Look, you have to understand, neither of us took moms *death* very well. We were kids, and she *left* us. We don’t have many friends, any really, and it’s, just, kinda, …people always leave. Pathetic, I know, but…”
“Not pathetic. Realistic. That’s exactly how I was when I met your mother, never letting anyone in. But this place, these people…” He chuckled. “They won’t let you get away with any of that and trust me, it’s a good thing.” Liam smiled, and Logan decided not to resist the temptation any longer - he hugged him.
Louise took her time this time and looked around the room. Its walls were covered with ‘get well soon’ cards, birthday cards, balloons. Teddies were scattered around along with notes of love and how much people missed her, all obviously from members of the team who knew she was there and by the looks of things, someone placed fresh flowers in a huge vase quiet often. She read the card. “Miss ya ‘kid. L.”
She smiled and looked at the wall behind the tank. It was white and covered with hundreds of notes scribbled on it in permanent marker pens. Most were about how much people missed her, some of thanks for what she had done, and a couple of silly jokes that were obviously private between her mother and the writer.
Walking back in front of her mother, she smiled and touched the glass. “Come back to us soon, mom. We’re here for you, and hang in there ok, just keep fighting it.” Then she finally let her tears fall.
******************END OF PART FOUR
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Bete by Gamma. Thank you honey.