They both collapsed against the mattress breathless laying side by side, their naked bodies’ slick with sweat. Both of them lay quiet catching their breath, the sheets around them useless, full of sweat and torn. It was still dark out but Rogue realized she didn’t seem to follow any pattern anymore, even if the sun was up it wouldn’t matter she wouldn’t want to leave their room or their bed.

Her normal life put on hold as she allowed herself to be swallowed whole by her lust. It had been two days since everyone else had had their realizations and she was still the only one yet to figure it out. Logan was staying with her, he only left for food and she assumed although he wouldn’t admit it some space, and he would lock the door from the outside when he left.

As the hours went by he slowly became more withdrawn from her, hardly speaking, the sad part was she didn’t seem to notice much in the beginning, nor had she cared. That was the first sign she supposed for Logan that she was spiraling out of control, she always noticed things about him, always cared. It was eating away at him to know that no matter what it would never be enough for her, he’d never be enough for her because the satisfaction was never truly fulfilled, she was consumed by it, by a never ending need and it would drive her insane there was no doubt about that, the question was only when.

They were becoming like animals who just fucked and she was taking him down with her and he didn’t deserve it, he worked so hard to prove he was more of a man then an animal. But she couldn’t bring herself to tell him to go, in truth if she even did take the time to find the words she knew he wouldn’t leave, he feared the alternative. He feared her going off with someone else no matter the dangers; he feared if he left her locked up in the room she’d go insane.

He was sacrificing himself for her, he would argue the point say it was out of love but even if it was he was losing a part of himself. There was a darkness in his eyes that was mirroring hers as she took him down with him. She was with him but at the same time she wasn’t. He depended on her for the little things, her brightness, her smile, her care and concern and with that all gone he had nothing to hold on to, nothing to hold him back as he followed her into the abyss. The only language that passed between them was through their bodies.

She lay still beside him, willing her body frozen as her thoughts came to her. There were a few times afterwards where she would try and ignore him as her thoughts circled her head, willing herself to gain control to refuse her body its needs, waiting for the realization to hit her. And each time she could feel Logan waiting silently and still beside her as though he was afraid if he moved or made a sound he would break her concentration and he would hold his breath wishing that this time would be the time that it worked.

It never worked. It was all in vain.

Her eyes followed a bead of sweat down his chest, down his stomach and towards the line of dark hair and then all thoughts would be banished once again. She let out a sigh of frustration as she turned on her side and let her hands move up his chest. He never refused her and he still gave her nothing but honesty in his touches.

Her lips brushed against his shoulder as she moved her tongue around the lines of his muscles as she followed her path up his neck where she kissed and sucked. Her slim legs entwining with his, as her body already begged for friction. When he turned his head from her, it wasn’t to give her better access, it was because he couldn’t look at her and something inside of her broke, she could feel it buried deep inside and she found herself stopping.

Her lips hovering above his ear but never touching as she found herself whispering, her voice horse from lack of use. “You’re mad at me.”

Logan stilled under her touch, his head slowly turning back towards her, his eyes wide in shock, she didn’t know if it was surprise from the fact that she was speaking or shock that she had figured him out.

“No.”

“Yes.”

His eyes flashed dangerously. “I said…”

“You know you can get mad at me, you are allowed to. I’m clearly not perfect and just because you protect me from everything you can doesn’t mean you need to protect your emotions from me, hide when you’re upset, frustrated or mad with me and at the moment you are all three.”

“I’m not mad at you,” he whispered.

“But you’re not denying the others.” She found her eyes drawn to the sharp lines of his jaw, her lips moving closer. “You don’t think I’m trying hard enough, you think I want this don’t you, it’s not like I’m proving you wrong.” She couldn’t help herself as she kissed the spot where his jaw line and neck met.

He didn’t move away as she worked her mouth along his skin, she was quickly becoming lost to the sensations.

“I miss you,” he whispered, his words catching her just in time as she pulled back.

“I use to think the basic way to get to know someone was by only having sex with that person, it was the closest way to be with someone to be connected. But then…” he paused.

“I miss talking with you. I miss sitting beside you in comfortable silence outside on the deck or in a room full of people. I miss just laughing with you. I miss being able to watch hockey with you…” he stopped as he glanced at her, his eyes softening.

“Darlin’ believe me when we first had sex it was amazing, I felt connected with you but I felt connected with you long before that. You were the first person that ever drew me back to them and it wasn’t even physical. It was just everything else about you, your spirit, just …you. I always told myself that with you it would be different and now…”

“But I thought this is what you wanted,” she blurted out.

“What?” he spoke up, his wide eyes focused on her.

Rogue left her mouth gaping open as she struggled to close it wondering why she blurted the words out. “Nothing,” she muttered.

“No,” he spoke hurriedly. “Tell me what you mean.” He urged her to continue with his eyes, his hand coming out to pull her head forward.

“Touching me right now would not be a good idea,” she spoke realizing he wanted her to take the time to focus for a moment. His eyes fell for a second and he pulled his hand back and out of the blue it was like the flood gates had opened up, the phrase ‘touching’ burning something inside of her. Touch. Just one simple word. One simple thing.

She sat up in the bed and looked away from him.

“Marie?” he whispered.

“The first time you touched me, when you healed me and even more so after Liberty Island you know I got some of your memories.”

He nodded beside her.

“At first I experienced the worst ones, the nightmares, well I suppose for you they aren’t just nightmares, they are memories of the lab.”

“I’m s…”

“Don’t.” She sat wringing her hands together trying to keep them occupied. “Anyways, after I assimilated you in my mind it would just be little things that stayed, the growling, an extra edge to my senses but no where near as good as yours, the craving for a cigar or a beer. And then sometimes I would get fleeting memories and lots of them were of how you were with women and what you liked…”

“Marie, that was years ago and they didn’t…”

“Mean anything,” she gave a small smirk.

“Baby, you can’t go by anything solid that you get from me from years ago, people change.”

“I know, but I guess sometimes I just always wondered if it was ever enough, if I was enough, if you felt tied down.”

“I…”

“I know you’re happy Logan, just as easily as you can tell when I lie I can tell it about you too, but I guess when I was hit with this lust spell it used those memories and thoughts to play on.”

They both waited and nothing happened.

“That can’t be all of it,” Logan spoke as he moved to sit up beside her.

“I suppose not,” she murmured, still looking away from him, trying to hold on to her clarity as long as possible.

“Well.”

“We’ve been together for three years Logan; I don’t think this one thing really matters anymore.”

“Maybe, whatever this one thing is that you think is so insignificant really isn’t.”

She sighed. “I guess part of me has always wondered if I hadn’t of learned to control my skin we wouldn’t have gotten together, you never made your move until I learned control, never consummated our relationship until you physically could.”

Her head pounded and she leaned forward as she braced her head against her knees, the pain tingling through out the nerves in her head, she must have been rocking back and forth because Logan pulled her closer towards him as the pain slowly receded. She opened her eyes and they flashed red once before fading.

“Ow,” she murmured rubbing her forehead.

She expected Logan to have a goofy grin on his face when she looked at him, thrilled that she had figured it out, that she was cured and safe. But his face was anything but; his eyes seemed filled with regret and shame.

“Logan, what is it?” she asked in concern.

His lips were drawn thin. “It’s my fault.”

“Logan,” she looked at him like he was crazy. “How was this your fault?”

“Because if I had of talked to you all those years ago instead of jumping you, you never would have wondered and then you wouldn’t have been affected…”

“Logan, that’s not exactly true, I would have still been infected with a sin.”

He leaned his forehead against hers. “I know now when I say this it may not feel like much but back then I wanted you, I wanted you but I had to let you grow up a bit, I had to let you find yourself and your place here as much as it pained me. Part of me needed to know that you wouldn’t out grow your feelings for me and…well in my head I figured twenty one was a good age, a good age to tell you how I felt and I planned on it all even with your skin, I’ve never been afraid of it.”

“I know,” she whispered.

“I couldn’t wait to show you how to touch each other even with out your control. You touched me deep inside long before that and well when you suddenly surprised everyone with the news that you could control it…it was like this dam broke, it was the final point that drove me over and you were still twenty. Because if you were touchable that meant anyone could touch you and I couldn’t handle it and I let my own lust take over then when we got together and because of that you’re paying for it now.”

“Oh, Logan,” she whispered cupping his chin. “Not anymore,” she smiled at him. “You helped me through it. I don’t blame you and you shouldn’t blame yourself. I wanted you Logan, I wanted you in every sense and I’m glad you made your move as soon as you did because you were driving me crazy.” She hit him lightly on the arm to prove her point.

“Good,” he whispered against her skin.

She gazed down at her skin noticing all the bruises in the shape of Logan’s fingers and the bite marks, the colossal amount was clear evidence of how long they had been at it, from slow to hard and she realized how tired she felt.

“I’ll run you a bath,” Logan murmured. “You must be sore,” he grinned at her.

“Logan, you don’t have to do that I’m pretty sure you’ve been catering to my needs for a while.”

“Ha-ha, darlin’ your needs are always my needs,” he winked as he leaned in to give her a quick peck on her lips, a wolf like grin on his face as he pulled back and headed for the bathroom.

Ten minutes later she lay soaking in a warm bath filled with bubbles as Logan perched beside her washing her hair. She leaned back enjoying the way his fingers moved against her scalp.

“Thanks,” she murmured.

“For what?”

“For everything, you know. And sorry I attempted to do every guy I ran into.”

Logan snorted. “You actually never got that far.”

She nodded, deeply thankful it hadn’t happened.

“Oh no,” she gasped. “I actually punched Jean didn’t I, I thought maybe…”

Logan silenced her as he gave her another quick peck on her lips.

“You were defending my honour, it was cute.” His lips twitched in amusement.

“I suppose we should go tell everyone I’m cured.”

“Or,” Logan spoke huskily. “Now that it’s no longer serious we could use it to our advantage, miss a couple of Scott’s training sessions, or say we need a vacation. Not to mention a nice excuse for some PDA.”

“PDA?”

“Public Display’s of Affection,” he spoke as it was every day knowledge, something he’d known for years.

“I know what it is; I’m just surprised you know it. You spend too much time with my friends.”

“Unfortunately, they’re both of our friends.”

Rogue smiled. “Wait until I tell Jubilee that, she’ll be knitting you a friendship bracelet by the end of the week.”

Logan snorted. “You wouldn’t dare, besides I said something about a vacation.”

“You’re right,” she tapped her chin as she spoke. “Maybe I should go and become a nun after all of this.”

There was a loud splash as Logan dropped the shampoo bottle into the tub. Rogue laughed.

“God, Logan don’t have a heart attack on me.”

“It slipped,” he mumbled.

Rogue winked at him and cradled his face. “Where would you like to go, sugah? You deserve a break too.”

“How ‘bout a nice relaxing beach.”

“Wow, you relaxing? I really did wear you out,” she laughed. She continued laughing even as he dumped a bucket of water over her head and in between the splashing she could hear him laughing to.
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