He checked his bag one last time and frowned. There really was no way to avoid excess weight, no matter how carefully he had considered every item he was going to take with him.
“What is it?” Marie asked when he started to pull out clothes and weapons from the leather pouch.
“Too heavy. I have to leave something behind.”
“But there’s almost nothing left!”
“I know.”
Had he gone soft during the years? Did he really need the change of clothes? Or that small pot? What about that extra cartridge of bullets? He stared at the items in front of him, trying to decide which one of them he could do without, small whisper at the back of his mind taunting him. Wasn’t it all so much easier when he could rely his fur and claws? Wasn’t it much easier when he didn’t have to consider his horse, but his own two feet only? Was it really that bad when you could run through the night and day, hunt your food on the road and get nourishment from the fresh kill? Hadn’t it been a great advantage when you could tear in to those you hunted with your teeth and claws, even fight for two equals instead of having to settle to pure luck and guns?
Marie’s hand landing on his shoulder interrupted his trail of thoughts and he swallowed, disgusted over the path his mind had chosen.
“I know what you’re thinking,” she said.
“You do?” He asked.
“Yes. Don’t even dream about leaving those clothes behind. You have a nasty tendency to ruin what you’re wearing, and it would comfort me a great deal to know that you have at least one spare shirt and trousers with you. What good are you to anybody if you get cold and sick while you’re chasing those beasts?”
“Oh… You’re probably right…” He sighed relieved and started packing his bag again. Had she really known what went through his mind she would have chained him down and stopped him from leaving then and there.
Yes. Having the wolf in him had given some advantages. But when he thought about it, it had brought on many problems as well.
“What about Buddy?” Marie asked.
“What about her?”
“Are you going to take her with you?”
“That’s really not my decision. She comes along if she wants. If she doesn’t, she’ll be probably lurking around here. Just give her some food every now and then, I kind of… I like that fox. I don’t want her to wander off while I’m away.”
“She’s going to be mommy as well,” Marie said, her tone rather accusing.
“And she’s a fox. You’re my wife and the mother to my child. There’s a difference.”
“Fine… I’ll stop nagging…”
The sun was already creeping lower on the sky, extending shadows and painting eerie yellow and red glow over the thin layer of snow covering the ground when he went to saddle his horse. He had decided to camp out near the freak show for the coming night, just in case. It wouldn’t do to ride out in the morning just to find out that they were already long gone.
“Be careful,” Marie whispered from the doorstep of the stable. Buddy was there as well, sitting next to her, bushy tail curled over its paws.
“You know me,” Logan smirked, trying to lighten Marie’s mood. It wasn’t working very well. If possible, even deeper frown settled over her features.
“I know you. That is why I worry.”
“You seem to have quite high opinion about my skills…”
“Just try to come back in one piece. No more foolish heroics, we need you here.”
He checked the reigns and the saddle, straightening the blanket underneath it and patting the horse lightly, feeling Marie’s gaze at the back of his neck. She was expecting something. An answer. A promise. Something he was unable to deliver. Instead of lying straight at her face he turned to look at her.
“I’ll try.” She stepped closer at him and brought her hands to his face, smoothing back stray strands of hair from his forehead.
“That’s all I’m asking. Try. We’ll be here waiting when you get back home.”
That night he spend hiding near the carnival, not daring to fall asleep, taste of Marie’s lips and feel of her fingers still fresh in his mind.
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