I myself have only briefest of glimpses and scraps of partial memories of what took place at my last hours as a wolf. Marie… She remembers it all, and told the whole sordid tale to me on one long night after she got tired of my begging. I’m writing it down as a warning for anybody who might want to take the same path that I took when I got bitten.
First you must understand my motivations. What spurred me to continue even after I realized the greatest err in my logic. The Wolf… The raw power it offered, it’s unimaginable. What kind of a hunter, what kind of a predator wouldn’t revel in ability to tear the prey to shreds in mere seconds? What kind of a man wouldn’t be enthralled for the possibility to heal from wounds and aches of the hunt instantly? I craved the power. Yearned it. And foolishly thought I could control the beast that came along with that power. I was blind and arrogant, unable to see that I was nothing but a mere vessel to the Wolverine. I thought I could use the beast and live as a man. I was wrong. Wrong.
Wolf had already dug it’s claws deep in to my soul when I stumbled upon Mick, Alaric and their friends. Instead that I would have instantly detected the taint in them and seen them as a threat I saw it fit to accept their hospitality. Accept and ingest their poisoned food. For poison it was for my kind. Two simple herbs, to draw out the wolf that lay dormant in their kind. For what purpose they even wanted to grant freedom to their bestial side I do not know. But I was poisoned, accidentally. When they sensed what was happening to me, they continued feeding me those herbs. They wanted… Needed new ancestors to keep the wolf in them alive. At first they had been meaning to mate Alaric and Marie, but for some reason Alaric seemed to be more interested in me.
They thought I would take Marie, and our joining would produce new, strong cubs for their pack. Apparently I had been on board with that plan, crazed and horny animal roaming in the night and tracking her down. She didn’t agree with me. We fought. She managed to fend me off with the help from Alaric and I ran. Ran in to the night, enraged and frustrated, and when I stumbled upon another wolf I had decided to punish it for my suffering. I had followed it through the forest to a lair. A spacious cavern filled with wolves. The rebels. We fought. Ten of them against me, but I was powered by those herbs and insane from lust and anger. They didn’t stand a chance against me.
The battle had drained me and I had crawled off to die. Effect of the herbs had burned off the wolf in me. Too much freedom, too much power, too many liberties… It had practically exploded away from my body when I tore open the last throat in that cave.
It took Marie nearly a year before she could make me understand that the Wolverine was truly gone.
”May God rest your soul… Though I’d rather see Satan dragging you to Hell…” Logan huffed, slumping backwards, still clutching his sword, his erratic breath escaping to the cold and crisp air in white plumes. Huge carcass of a wolf started to shrink in front of him, taking the distinct features of human before turning to a grey pile of ash.
He lay on the cold ground for a moment, steadying his breathing. It had been a long and exhausting hunt. His prey had been more cunning than he had expected. But in the end it had been only an animal. An animal he knew from inside out.
He sat up and sheathed his sword. Time to go home. Back home to Marie.
He walked through the forest to where he had made his temporary camp, packed his belongings and strapped them to the back of his horse. Distant echo of wolf’s cry made the small hairs on his back prickle and his upper lip curl slightly to reveal his blunt teeth. For a moment the urge to follow the cry was nearly unbearable. Just shed his clothes, discard his weapons and humanity and run free with the pack, run and hunt and bathe in blood and silver of the moon…
He climbed to the saddle and whistled sharply. Reddish-brown fox scurried from the forest.
“Time to go home, Buddy,” he grunted. Fox’s eyes flickered to his briefly and he could see it’s whiskered snout wriggling as it took in his scent. It let out a small whimper.
“Daddy’s fine, Buddy. Home. Now.”
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Few more chappies to go. I know, I said some time this weekend, but Logie got carried away.