Coffee’s good. Would be even better if Nadine wasn’t staring at me over the counter and rapping her nails impatiently.

“Spill.”
“I screwed it up.”
“Screwed up what?”
“I have been fucking other women and pretending they’re her when my wife has been off to lala-land. I maimed my daughter’s boyfriend. To say that they’re pissed at me would be an understatement.”
“Jesus. You’re fucked up.”
“Tell me something I don’t know already… Marie… She woke up couple of weeks ago. You remember the cure?”
“How could I not remember? It was all over the news back then.”
“She took it. It worked. Sort of. Shut off her mutation. Nobody bothered to tell her that within a year she’d go mad from it. For the last twenty years she’s… She hasn’t quite been there. Couple of weeks ago the cure started wearing off. She found out what had been going on, and threw me out.”
“You had it coming…”
“I fucking know that. It’s just… I have no fucking idea of what I’m going to do now. There’s nothing left for me anymore.”
“And you thought you could come here, lay down this sob story and get a roll in the sack with me?”
“No. Just left. Wasn’t thinking where I was going. Just kept driving and drinking, then just walking and drinking. It fucking hurts to be sober.”
“That’s just your conscience trying to tell you something.”
“I fucking know that! I fucked up, and I have no idea how to make it better! If I even can make it better!”
“Keep that up and I’ll throw you out.”
“You and what army?”
“Was that a threat?”
“I don’t know. Would you want it to be?”
“You’re impossible… So. What the fuck do you want from me?”

Good question. And as soon as I figure out the right answer I’m going to tell it to her.

“More coffee for starters.”
“You’re easy to please. There.”
“Thanks.”

Thank God she started straightening up this place. The way she keeps staring at me is fucking unnerving. It’s hard to think, let alone come up with something reasonable when those eyes are drilling in to me. Feels somehow pointless to even say out loud what I’m thinking when it looks like she’s reading my mind. Not that Nadine’s a mutant. She isn’t. Far from it.

“You could hire me.”
“For what?”
“Anything. I know my way around here.”
“I don’t…”
“Come on. You don’t even have to pay me. I can get my wages from the cage. I just need a place to stay and clear my head.”
“I sold the cabin last year.”
“So? I could bunk in here with you.”
“With me?”
“You weren’t complaining last time I came around…”
“I’m not going to become replacement for your wife. Get your head sorted out first. Then we’ll see if you stay here with me, or go back to her.”
“Shit. You wouldn’t be a replacement, Nadine. You know that.”
“And that’s even better reason not to bunk with you. I know you. You’re not a good guy, Wolverine. But you’re not an asshole either. You married that girl because you love her. I’m not going to let myself fall for you just to have you running back to her when you can’t stand to be apart from her any longer.”
“Fuck, Nadine…”
“I’m not throwing you out either. I need a bouncer, and you can sleep in that cot.”
“Thanks.”

Yeah. Nadine’s a good woman. And she has a good head on her shoulders. Sometimes I wonder. Wonder what it would be like if I had met her first. Found this bar and her year after Anna was born. I have fucked with Nadine. I can trust her. And she… She wanted somebody who wouldn’t stick around afterwards. I guess that’s changed. She has always laughed to that shit about biological clock, but harsh reality is that she’s getting older every day. And she’s alone. Sure, there are more than enough men frequenting in this dingy bar who would gladly step in to her life and start sharing it with her, but there aren’t so many she’s willing to accept. She once told me that she wouldn’t be able to tolerate a wuss who couldn’t top her in arm wrestling. So far nobody has dared to even challenge her, and me… She took a one look at me and said that a match would be a waste of time.
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