Ahh… This is how it should have been. Me, Marie, rooftop and all those fucking bright and blinking stars above. We had this, in the beginning. Before her mind started fraying. We used to come up here after curfew and sit for hours, just talking and sharing beers. Students got off easy during nights when we were supposed to monitor halls, but… It wouldn’t have made any difference even if we sat at the front door. Kids had the sense to sneak back in to their rooms through the windows.
“Logan?”
“Yeah?”
“Have you ever thought about having kids?”
“Sometimes. Why?”
“It’s nothing. Just a thought. Before I took the cure I was so sure that I could never have a normal relationship. That I could never have what normal people had. Now that my skin is off… I don’t know what to think about it.”
I should have noticed. I should have noticed how lost she were. How completely out of it she was right from the moment they squirted that fucking poison in to her system. But I was blind. Blind and deaf. I could only see how she smiled. I could only hear how she laughed. I could only smell how fucking happy and contended she was when she was finally able to kiss me and feel my lips and hands on her bare skin.
“What’s the matter?”
“Nothing… Got a bug up in my eye…”
“Let me see…”
“No, it’s fine. I think… I think it came off already. Just let me hold you…”
Can’t let her touch me now. Can’t let her find out that her skin is on. She’s fucking thinking that she took the cure last month. I should take her back downstairs. Wake up Jean and ask her to sedate Marie. But I don’t want to do that. It’s not fucking fair. I don’t want to leave her here. I want my fucking life back! I want my fucking wife back!
“About your skin… I just want you to know that it wouldn’t have made any difference to me. It wouldn’t have mattered.”
“It would have. Eventually it would have, Logan. And it mattered to me. I want same things as anybody else. A handshake. A hug. A kiss.”
“Well, as long as you did it for yourself and not for some boy…”
“Cut the crap, Logan. You’re afraid because you think I did it for you. Isn’t that right?”
“No.”
And that’s a big fucking lie. I’m glad she’s sitting her face turned away from mine. I’m not much of a liar. Not at least when it comes to her and things that really matter. Well, it’s not a complete lie. I’m not afraid. I fucking know that she did it because of me. The thing she had with Bobby… My girl is smart. She knew already that what they had wouldn’t last when she stepped in to the line in front of the clinic. She was just taking necessary precautions so that she’d have something, somebody to turn to when everything came crumbling down. She wanted to make sure that I wouldn’t be able to say no.
“About that kiss, Logan…”
“Ah… It’s getting a bit cold out here, don’t you think? Maybe we should head back inside…”
“Logan. It’s rude to interrupt other people.”
Yes, it is. But if I don’t interrupt you right now, we’re both knee deep in shit. And this time it’s going to take a fucking miracle to crawl on top of that pile before we both drown.
“Sorry. But it’s getting late. We should go to bed; we both have early morning tomorrow. Come on, I’ll walk you to your room.”
“Lo-gan… Why can’t I sleep in your room?”
“You know why, Marie. I’d love to have you in my bed. I’d like nothing more than to wake up next to you, but…”
“Yeah, yeah… You know, sometimes I think that those nightmares are just convenient excuse for you to pull out when you feel like having your own time and space.”
“Marie! You know that it isn’t like that!”
“I know. I’m sorry. It’s just so frustrating… Are you sure there’s nothing that the professor Xavier could do? Couldn’t he just… I don’t know, block the nightmares or something?”
“I don’t know. I’ll have to ask him about it tomorrow. Come on. Maybe we can catch some of the kids sneaking in… I know how you like scaring the wits out of them…”
“Can we grab some ice cream from the kitchen on our way?”
“Yeah. But we have to be real quiet. You know how much Jean hates it when we wake her up.”
“It wasn’t me who dropped that crystal bowl last night…”
“Fuck. It wasn’t my idea to try and see how much ice cream we could stuff in it.”
“You’re just one, big, clumsy ass…”
“Yeah. And that’s why you love me so…”
Fuck! Fuck! Don’t! Marie, don’t! Don’t fucking touch me! Oh shit… Why can’t she feel what she’s doing to me… Jesus… Let go. Let go. Hurts… she doesn’t even fucking know what’s happening… Okay… I can do this. I. Can. Do. This. Hands against the wall… Fuck… Her lips are so soft… Tastes like beer… And tea… Don’t go fainting now, she doesn’t know… She doesn’t fucking know that she’s draining me!
“Honey… Let go… You have to let go…”
“Logan? Are you alright?”
“Yeah… Just a little woozy. Huh. That was… That was a hell of a surprise, darling.”
“You’re shaking…”
“Yeah. It’s just… I have wanted to kiss you so long and…”
“You swooned?”
“And if you ever let anybody know about this, my reputation will be ruined.”
“Don’t worry, big guy… Your secret is safe with me. But only if you promise that we kiss some more in the near future.”
“You can count on that, darling… But how about that ice cream now? I think there might be some vanilla and chocolate chip left from last night.”
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