Around midnight, Logan pulled up to the gates of Xavier’s mansion. He punched in his code, then pushed his bike in so that it wouldn’t wake anyone. Heading silently through the halls and up the stairs, he eased open the door that led to Scott and Jean’s suite, noticing that their bedroom door was ajar and they were both asleep. He walked over to Christopher’s door and peeked inside.
Kayla was sleeping on the bottom bunk, wadded up tissues all around her.
Logan picked her up and turned toward the door.
"Shit!" he hissed in a hushed voice. He was standing face to face with a bed-head Scott, who was standing there, arms crossed over his chest.
Neither needed to say anything, at that moment they understood each other completely.
"I’m taking Kayla to her room," Logan whispered.
"Are you staying for more than a day?"
"Yes."
"Everyone understands Logan," Scott said, "including me. I’m so sorry for what happened. If I..."
"Scott, I know," Logan held up his free hand. "Just give me time."
Scott nodded knowing that for now, it was enough. One day Logan would be able to truly forgive him. He stepped aside and let Logan pass.
"Damn Scooter, even after being in bed you look like you just jumped out of a J.C Penney catalog," Logan whispered as he walked towards the door.
Scott looked down at his red and blue plaid pajamas, and then watched Logan leave with Kayla sleeping on his shoulder. He smiled a tight smile as he shut
Christopher’s bedroom door and walked back to his own bed.
Just maybe, he thought, things would start to get better now.
__________________________________________________________
Logan woke up with Kayla’s leg laying across his chest. He looked at the clock and figured that they needed to get up for the service. He was really dreading the whole day, but he knew that he needed to be there for her.
"Kayla," he called out softly, gently shaking her.
He watched as her eyes slowly opened and she looked up at him. "Where am I?"
"You’re in our room," Logan told her.
"How did I get here?"
"I came and got you out of Christopher’s room last night," Logan said. He brushed her unruly hair out of her face.
"Are you gonna leave again?"
He shook his head. "No, I’m going to stay."
At that Kayla gave him a sleepy smile and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. "I love you daddy," she said, placing a kiss on his cheek.
"Kayla, do you know what we have to do today?"
"Aunt Jean told me that we were going to stand outside and talk about mommy."
He nodded. "Do you have any questions?"
"Is mommy ever going to come back?"
"I don’t know Lil Bit," Logan answered ignoring the pain in his chest.
"Is mommy dead?"
"I don’t know that either. We’ll never know unless we find her."
Their conversation was interrupted by the phone ringing. It was Jean, calling to tell him that they would start at ten o’clock.
Logan hung up the phone and looked at Kayla. "Let’s go get you some breakfast, then we need to get ready."
After breakfast and Kayla’s bath, Logan stood before the closet and stared at the massive amount of clothes before him. He had no clue what she should wear. He looked down at Kayla who was standing beside him in one of his t-shirts. "Do you know what to wear?"
Kayla looked up at him and shook her head. "Mommy always told me."
"Yeah, me too Lil Bit," Logan said, trying to push some of the clothes aside.
"I think I need a dress."
Logan picked one out and held it up. "What about this one?" he asked.
Kayla shook her head. "I’m too big for that one."
He threw it over his shoulder onto the floor and picked another. Kayla said no to that one too, and the next dozen or so he held up. "You’re running out of clothes Kayla, pick one," he said, trying not to sound frustrated.
"Umm," Kayla looked around at all the dresses on the floor. "How about this?" She dug through the pile and picked up a navy blue dress
"Okay, let’s get you dressed." Logan stepped away from the closet and over the pile of clothes.
After he had got Kayla changed, he stood back up and said, "You stay here and play while I get ready."
"What about my hair?" Kayla asked.
"What about your hair?"
"Mommy always fixed it for me," Kayla told him.
Logan frowned. "Hold on second, I’ll be right back."
He found the cordless phone and dialed Jean’s number. He waited while it rang and rang. It took ages for Jean to finally pick it up.
"Hello?"
"Jeannie, I need a favor," he said nervously.
"What is it Logan?"
"Can you come over and help me with Kayla? Maybe fix her hair and make sure her clothes are alright?"
"I’d be glad too," Jean told him.
"Okay…uh… good. Give me ten minutes before you come over."
"I will. Bye" Jean said, hanging up.
Logan told Kayla to stay in her room, then he got himself ready. After he finished he heard Jean knocking on the door. "Come in."
"How are you this morning?" Jean asked.
"I’m doing fine for now."
"And Kayla?"
"She’s doing good. She’s in her room. Thanks for doing this, it’s just that Rogue was the one that took care of all that and I don’t have a clue what I’m doing."
"It’s not a problem Logan, really. I’ll be happy to help anytime." Jean walked towards Kayla’s room. "Scott and Christopher will be dropping by if you want to walk together to the gardens."
__________________________________________________________
At the end of the service, everyone stopped to give Logan and Kayla their condolences. Scott and Remy both told Logan that this didn’t mean that they would stop looking at every chance they got.
Logan left Kayla playing with Christopher, so that he could talk with the Professor.
"Logan, there is someone I want you to meet," Charles said. "This is Valerie Cooper. She is to be Kayla’s teacher when school starts."
Logan recognized the woman as the one he’d bumped into in the hall. He shook her hand. "Sorry if I hurt you yesterday."
"That’s all right," she told him. "I’m sorry for your loss. I too have lost people I care about, often abruptly, so I can identify with you."
Kayla came running over and tugged on Logan’s pant leg saying, "Daddy I’ve got more questions for you now."
"Is this your little girl?" Valerie asked. She knelt down in front of Kayla and smiled. "I’m Valerie. I’ll be your new teacher this year."
Kayla hid her head behind Logan’s leg in shyness. "You have such pretty hair," Valerie told her.
"I lost my barrette," Kayla told her.
"Well you know things that go missing can always be found," Valerie said, reaching behind Kayla, "if it’s by the right person." She finished by holding up the missing barrette in her hand.
Logan felt uneasy by Valerie’s choice of words and excused them both from the Professor and Valerie’s presence.
"Did I do something wrong?" Valerie asked Charles.
"No, dear," Charles replied, "Logan is just learning to adjust, that’s all."
Logan and Kayla walked to a bench away from the crowd. Kayla climbed up in Logan’s lap and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "What do you want to know Lil Bit?"
"Everybody talked about the special things that mommy did," Kayla said.
Logan smiled sadly. "That’s because she is a special person."
"I wish I could do something special for mommy."
"You’ve done special things for mommy," Logan told her.
"Like what?"
"Before you were born mommy couldn’t touch anyone because of her mutation. She would have to wear clothes and scarves to protect herself and others. Then when she found out about you, she wanted to make sure she could touch you, so she learned how to control it."
"I didn’t know that," Kayla said, smiling a little. "Did you leave me because you were sad about mommy?"
Logan looked at her not knowing what to say, he didn’t want Kayla to think it had anything to do with her. "I left to look for mommy, and I would also leave because everything would remind me of her, but I’m not going anywhere for a long time now."
Kayla nodded her head and said, "I’m sad too. I miss her so much."
Logan wrapped his arms around her and placed kisses on her forehead. "Things will get better for us, Lil Bit. I..." He wanted to say promise, but the last promise he made to her he didn’t keep, and that was to bring Marie back. "I’m sure it will," he said.
He hoped so. He really needed it to get better for both of them.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Thank you so much to September Chic for beta'ing this for me! You are the best.