Dull and glazed, your eyes.
Salty water trailed a dirty streak along your face and you breathed my name in anguish.
~You always were the strong one, Wolvie.~
Get out of my head, Marie. I can't stand your voice, it breaks over me. It cuts through me, shreds me. I can't breathe, I can't stand. I'm dieing now. Without you. Because you're already lost. You were a daughter, a sister, a mother, a friend. To me.
And your voice cracked, and the water spilled down your face. There were enough tears, soaking into my glove when I placed it on your face, to wash clean the blood and dirt with gentle strokes.
I was strong before. I woke up naked and wild and carved a life out for myself in cages and flesh. I was an animal and I didn't delude myself that I was anything more. Now you're gone, I'm not as strong as I was and the illusion is shattered... though the memory persists. I was more... to you.
The last of the students filed away, returning to the school grounds, away from the woods where I begged you be returned. The earth is soft here, soft like your laugh, and this is a home to you.
Jubilee paused. I know she misses you. Last night she sat next to me in the mess hall, to be closer to you I think. And she stared at me, her eyes bloodshot and clouded, bit back a gasp as I raised an arm to place around her shoulder and ran. She didn't notice her tray crack into the tiles and Jean calling out as she fled.
But this day she just swayed in front of the open earth, where its palm was filled with a simple wooden box. She put a black-encased hand to her hair and pulled away a lily. Don't ask me how I knew it was a lily. Maybe I remembered the scent from one of the bottles that litter your dresser. Maybe it's your favourite flower and she knows that.
I want to ask God, why? Why you and not me? Why not neither? Why not both.
Your eyes were always so sad, overflowing with your spirit as other minds stole the hidden places. When you hovered over me, letting me feel the tears fall from your face and hit my skin, I felt you falling into me.
Jubilee stared at me. She bit on her bottom lip and nodded to me. I could see she wanted to reach out, place a gloved hand onto the bare skin of mine. But she couldn't and then all she wanted to do was run. Her muscles were taught, knowing that nothing was right. But she just walked away, like the others.
No-one touches anymore. They're scared I'm deadly now and you were the only one who would reach out. Maybe they're right.
~All life is pain, Logan.~
You said that and grinned and shook your hair across my shoulder. I dragged on my cigar and looked at the moon from Xavier's roof, that night. I didn't try to argue, even though you smiled when you said it, we both knew the truth of it. That's why we sat together, a couple of lonely people feeding off eachother. We sat there, just watching, both knowing life would never be better. I was sad for you, but you smiled and shook your head and tried to hide the cracks in your heart.
~Why didn't it get any easier for us?~
I couldn't answer.
The sun was strong and hot, this morning. Ororo stood next to me, as I silently cursed the sky for its lack of remorse. Her eyes turned white and rain hit my face, while thunder tremored my senses. I'm always shaking now, not quite fitting into my skin it feels. Like I'm caught between something, and a part of me wants to die and a part of me wants to live.
You looked at me that night, and blood mingled with the tears as the cut along your forehead seeped blood into your eyes.
~You'll always be with me.~
You whispered, your lips achingly close to my ears. We both lay dying there that night and you said goodbye.
I wanted to feel your lips on mine forever. They were bitter and cold from blood and dirt, but it was you.
You. Marie. Rogue.
Mine.
And I cursed the rain that night.
Scott laid you next to me, dragging my body so easily with a surreal strength. Then he left us, determined to salvage what he could of the battle, while Jean and Ororo were still able. You were already lying there, letting crimson life soak into the grass from the ragged hole in your chest. I knew we were both dieing. My head was heavy and your breath was steadily slipping away. The healing factor meant nothing when so much had been taken. He placed me here, an arms reach away from you. We reached out and I felt the warmth of your skin, coarsely tender. The rain hit our faces then too and you couldn't see my tears. It was all I could do to show you how much I needed you.
I need you now, Marie. And the rain damned my pain. But you pulled me into your arms to hold me while we died, and you spoke sweetly and softly, because you could and you needed to, and rain and silence need to be fought with words. Our hands were locked and our lives were fading.
But one of us survived.
It should have been you, Marie. You were stronger. You had to be. Because I was weak and I don't want to believe you were weaker. We held hands and the rain beat away my last gesture of love to you.
Now it's sweet. There's a faint melody as the droplets spear the metal plate, tracing out a single name and the day you died. I stare at the sky, feeling the cloudburst as a memory.
Your tears played a requiem over my face.
The rain played a requiem over your epitaph.
"Do you think it will take long?" Ororo asked nervously, standing back from their comrade.
Jean nodded, her voice unable to say anything more and her head pounding from so much anguish in the minds around her.
"Did you have to make it rain, `Ro?" Scott gestured to the grey downpour, "This is already depressing, without melodrama."
The weather goddess cast him a pained look, "It's what she wanted... Every one needs to hurt, Scott."
He nodded sombrely. The loss of one of their number wounded him too, but not as much as the remnants of the one left behind. The one standing sentinel over the grave.
"It'll be easier, tomorrow. We can try then. Today is for mourning," Jean locked an arm around her husband's arm and pulled him towards the mansion. Ororo let them go, heard the sponging of their feet on sodden lawn and stayed to watch her friend. The figure rocked on trembling legs and raised a face to the heavens, mouthing words.
~You were always stronger.~
Ororo cast a prayer towards them both and raised the hood of her cloak. Then she turned away, to tread the long path back to the mansion.
Cool water etched a path along the stark metal L, before flowing over the other letters.
The last mourner didn't hear the footsteps, or notice them stop as the creator of the storm cast one last look at the graveside, reaping a final picture for her mind of two broken spirits; as Rogue stood by Logan's grave, her face raised to the sky.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
It's not particularly witty or original… but I had to get it out of my system so I could get well and truly stuck into some dustbunnies (fluff)
Words between these: ~.....~ are memories of speech
Words between these: ~.....~ are memories of speech