The sunlight glinted off the polished glass of the tabletop but Rogue barely noticed. It was just another day alone without Logan. She stared at the ring on her finger and blinked as the tears began to fall.
She loved him. It was a bitter truth, an aching void in her chest where her heart had been. She wondered if Logan realized that she loved him, that she needed him to be there for her.
The harsh knock on her door made her start and she rose to walk to the door. She didn’t care who was on the other side of the wood and steel, she cared about nothing. Unlocking it she swung the door opened and gasped.
Standing in a disheveled tangle of denim and flannel was a man she had thought she’d seen the last of. The weight of her pain made the tears coming harder, and she struggled to contain them.
“What the fuck du ya want?”
“To talk.” Low, raspy, his tone was filled with agony.
She stared into his eyes, seeing the pain, the self-loathing that raged with the love he felt. For a moment she felt pleasure at the look of agony upon him before her heart filled with pain again. What would it hurt to have a few words with her husband? Words would not change anything. Stepping back she let him inside.
Leaning on the door she watched him sink into the aged and ragged couch, his elbows resting on his knees, his shoulders hunched under the weight of his misery. “You said you wanted to talk so start talking. You’ve got two minutes Logan.”
“I’m sorry.” The words drew a frown from her but she held her tongue. “I let you down in the worst way possible and there’s nothing I can do to make it up to you. I thought I was giving you what you needed, what you wanted. A rock to lean on, my strength, myprotection and I guess I never saw that you needed more that than. I tried to be solid, strong for you but I can’t do it anymore. When you left, Rogue, it ripped my heart out.”
“Its still all about you isn’t it?” Rogue hissed angrily. “You never let me in Logan, never gave me a chance to be more than just some damsel in distress…”
“I know that now. I’ve known it every moment of every single day since you left. Sometimes all it takes is facing the night alone. I can’t do this, Rogue. I’m not made of stone, or steel. I’m flesh and blood and I can’t keep doing this!” Raking a hand through his hair Logan lunged to his feet and began to pace. “I’ve spent more time locked within those four walls than I have out of them. And I can’t do it.”
“Where are they?”
“Where are what?”
“The papers. Give ‘em here and I’ll sign ‘em so ya can get outta here and go back to whatever…” Rogue growled only to stop at the stunned look on Logan’s face. Swallowing she pressed back against the door and stared at him as he walked toward her.
“No, Rogue. You don’t get out that easily. I can’t be the rock you need; I can’t give you nothing but my protection anymore. I’m a man, damn it, and I need you in my life. I’d die for you in a heart beat but that isn’t what you want is it? You want to have control of my heart, over my soul.”
“I don’t want anything from you Logan.”
“Yes you do.” Logan whispered pressing her against the door and breathing in her scent.
Rogue could see the desperation racing through him and swallowed. It was the truth, she wanted what was beneath that careful, bad-ass veneer Logan wore so well. It just hurt that she could not have it.
“You said I didn’t care, that I was cold and unemotional but you were so wrong! Please, Rogue, I’m begging you don’t let us go. Don’t throw us away…I need you.”
Rogue stared into his eyes for a moment and shuddered at the naked honesty and vulnerability in them. Logan was a man stripped of his pride and she realized that she’d misjudged him.
“Forgive me,” Rogue whispered.
The soft, small smile that crossed his face told her more than any words could and she threw her arms around him. Holding onto him desperately she held tightly as she felt the tears soak through her blouse, scalding her skin as he let go.
“I’m sorry, so, so, so sorry, baby. I’ll do better from now on out.” Logan promised softly.
Rogue kissed his temple carefully and squeezed him tighter. “Just promise me to try and we can make it Logan. That’s all I ask.”
“I promise.”
Logan clung to her as they stood against the door of a cheap, impartial hotel room and let her faith, her forgiveness heal the wounds he’d inflicted, however unintentionally.
The Wolverine & Rogue Fanfiction Archive
Barely Legal Since 2000