Settling behind her desk with a tall, steaming cup of coffee Rebecca Latec stared at the envelope on her desk. Reaching over she picked it up and read the address. “Westchester, New York, USA…I don’t know anyone from there who would be mailing me here.” She muttered her hand already reaching for her coffee.
After taking a sip she tore the envelope open and pulled out a high quality sheet of paper. Unfolding it she frowned. The writing was strong, bold, almost untamed as it flowed over the page.
“Must be a guy.” She whispered skimming to the bottom of the page she exhaled when she didn’t see a signature, only an initial. Shaking her head she focused on the letter, her back already sinking into the back of her leather chair.
Dear Trojan Condoms;
You don’t know me and that’s okay with me. I’m writing for one reason and one reason only. I owe you a big THANK YOU!!!! If it weren’t for you I’d never get near my girl and that’s worth anything to me. Even the thirty thousand dollar a year bill for condoms.
Now you might be sayin’ why’s some bastard spending that much on the rubbers. Well truth is I need ‘em. See my girl and I are special…gifted so to speak. Least ways that’s what Chucky always says. My girl has toxic skin, can’t touch a livin’ thing without sucking the life outta it. I know I’ve experienced her real touch a couple of times and it hurts like Hades. Not that I’m complainin’. Nope, gladly touch her any time to save her.
Still I’m getting off topic here. I knew she’d been wanting a baby, could smell it every time she was within twenty feet of Scooter and Red’s brat…kid never stops crying. So I said to her why not try for one, ain’t like I’m gonna go anywhere. She just got real sad and said she wouldn’t condemn anyone to a life without a mother’s touch…especially her own baby. Didn’t stop the wantin’, she just started avoidin’ the babies around the mansion.
I know you’re goin’ what the hell is this guy goin’ on about. But ya know what, fuck that. I’ll get to the point in a second. Seeing the shadows in her eyes and the pain in her scent was enough to make me want to cry – and I don’t cry, for nobody…well not for nobody but my girl. Anyway about two months ago something happened. We had a bit of an “accident” and I’m not sure she realized it or not…ain’t like she got another voice in her head…just more of the one in there. I was uh pullin’ out and sorta ripped the condom – by sorta I guess I should admit that I sabotaged the blasted thing damn needles do come in handy some of the time. Anyway, the thing ripped and her skin hit me, not enough to really do any damage but the contents sorta spilled.
A few days after that I started to smell it. The richness of hormones, the first hint of milk…took me a month of waiting for her to catch on before she realized what was happening. She was plenty pissed and scared let me tell you. Wanted to know how I’d done it.
Let me tell you, it wasn’t exactly a hardship to have to go through every single condom in our room but lets not get into that. Anyway, just wanted to write you and say thanks. If you hadn’t made the blasted things I’d have the worst case of blue balls in history, and my girl would still be a virgin! Course the baby that’s coming along would never have happened and that would have been a real tragedy.
W.
Rebecca tossed the letter aside and turned to frown out the window at the bright sunlight spilling through the glass. She’d never thought much about the product they put out but if this guy was for real then obviously they had to be doing something right…although she didn’t like the idea of the whole sabotaged condom thing.
Slowly, a steady smile crossed her face. “He gets laid, she gets a baby, and everyone’s happy!”
“Miss Latec, there’s someone here to see you.” The soft sound of her receptionists voice had her glancing toward the door.
“Who is it?”
“Some woman says her boyfriend sent you a letter and she wants it.”
”And her boyfriend’s name is?”
“Don’t matta.” The door swung open to reveal a tall, beautiful auburn haired woman with matching white streaks around her face, a face that looked distinctly unhappy and yet elated.
“Uh and you are?”
“Don’t matta.”
“Well I haven’t received any…”
“Hmmph. Ya can’t fool this ol’ country girl! I know he sent it. And I want it back!”
“Why?”
“Because, it’s got his admission in it and I want it before I castrate him!”
Rebecca chuckled, “You sure you want to do that?”
The flush that climbed the girl’s face had Rebecca grinning like a fool. “Please have a seat and tell me all about how it is you’re here, miss?”
“Rogue. Just Rogue.”
Rebecca leaned forward in her chair and waved away her receptionist who hovered by the door. “So Rogue, tell me all about how it is you’re sitting in my office on a beautiful summer day.”
“The damn fool poked holes in every single condom we had!” Rogue snapped. “Six weeks worth of cartons. Do you realize how much they cost him? Hell he spends more money a year on them than he does on beer and that says a lot.”
Rebecca nodded her gaze steady. This was going to be very interesting to say the least.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Okay, I fully admit I have an odd sense of humor at times. This was one of them. Hope y'all enjoy. Feedback is always welcome!