‘I have failed you.’ Marie swallowed against the tears that threatened to fall as the Professor’s subdued voice reached her. His head bowed, Charles huddled in the chair like a man with no hope. Marie gripped Logan’s hand tightly, refusing to let her emotions show. Ororo was not so successful from her position by the Professor, a choked sob escaping her. Charles raised his head and summoned a wan smile, gazing at the three of them. Marie wasn’t sure why she’d been included in this select group, but she’d been anxious to see the Professor, especially as he’d refused all visitors except Eric while in the medlab. Eric was noticeably absent, and had been so since the disastrous end to the battle two days before. Marie knew he hadn’t left the Professor’s side in the medlab, feeling an echoing yearning from the shadows of her mind.
‘You didn’t fail anyone, you saved us all,’ ‘Ro insisted, wiping the tears from her face.
‘What I did was to knowingly destroy life.’ The Professor’s eyes, startlingly bright in his pale face, shifted restlessly around the room.
‘Every one of us here has done the same.’ ‘Ro’s voice was almost begging him to listen, to absorb what she was saying, but the Professor shook his head. Marie felt Logan tense beside her and threw him a quick glance, curious over his silence.
‘That alone could have been forgiven, if I had not wanted it so much, revelled in the havoc I unleashed.’
‘Professor-‘ ‘Ro’s voice was cut short by Logan’s disgusted snort.
‘So what? You’ve found out what it’s like to enjoy killing and you’re acting like the world ended! What about all your beliefs of redemption, necessity, forgiveness – or was that all bullshit to keep people like me around?’ Everyone stared at Logan in disbelief as he crossed his arms and narrowed his gaze. The Professor couldn’t tear his eyes away, pinned by the rage in Logan’s glare. ‘You’ve always found control so easy. You have one lapse and suddenly you’re a monster? It’s about time you learnt to stop feeling sorry for yourself and get a fucking grip, because all you proved two days ago was that you are willing to sacrifice it all for your family – something everyone should be willing to do.’ With a low growl, he turned and stalked from the room, slamming the door and leaving a wake of stunned silence behind him.
* * * *
‘Hey sugah.’
‘Hey.’
‘Want some company?’ Marie hung back, not wanting to disturb him but he wordlessly held out a hand to her. She gripped it gently, fingers automatically rubbing the sensitive skin above the claws. They stood in silence for a while, gazing at the ruined grounds bleached of all colour by the moon until Logan heaved a sigh and ran his free hand through his hair.
‘I shouldn’t have lost my temper. I’ve probably made things worse.’
‘Ah don’t think so, sugah. The Professor needed to hear it. ‘Course, you pissed ‘Ro off, but there’s nothing new there.’ Marie smirked as a small huff of laughter escaped him. Tilting his head he caught the sound of footsteps before her. She followed his gaze and saw the Professor making his way slowly towards them. ‘Ah’ll see you inside,’ she murmured, pressing a quick kiss to his muttonchop.
The Professor took Marie’s place, gazing unseeing at the destruction. There was silence for a long moment, until he cleared his throat and turned to Logan. ‘One thing I have always relished in our discussions is your ability to cast new light on things, making me see events from different angles. I had missed that when I was away.’ At Logan’s raised eyebrow, the hurried on. ‘You were right; wallowing in self-pity will not help anyone, or change what has happened. What I did was wrong, that is a fact. However, I wasn’t willing to see that my motivations for doing so are perhaps worth considering.’ There was another long silence, Charles casting anxious glances at Logan’s still features. ‘I didn’t understand what effect my actions would have on you and the other X-Men, until you told me earlier. I have never allowed any of you the luxury of self-indulgent regrets for past actions, and to change the rules for myself would not be fair.
‘What I am trying to say is that I am sorry, for many things, but I want to get past all of this, learn from it and move on. This morning I was considering going back to Scotland for a few months, but you’ve shown me that my place is here, with my family.’
‘There’s a lot of work to be done. It’ll take a while to get everything back up and running.’ Logan gestured around them. ‘It ain’t going to be a picnic, getting through this.’ His eyes focussed intently on the Professor’s as he leant closer. ‘One thing I’ve learnt is that a conscience is hell on a good day, and you’ve got more than most to contend with. Being here, having a place to belong; it helps.’
‘Thank you, Logan. Your trust and support mean a great deal to me. I will do my upmost to do them justice.’
‘You’ll get there, Chuck. You’ll get there.’
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Phew! Finally got this finished and posted up. I'm really sorry I took so long to get my ass in gear :(.
This is only a little ending chappie - it's not exactly a happy ending, but it is positive.
It's not beta-d, so any mistakes are mine. As always, feedback is eagerly welcomed and feasted upon :D. Thanks for reading.
This is only a little ending chappie - it's not exactly a happy ending, but it is positive.
It's not beta-d, so any mistakes are mine. As always, feedback is eagerly welcomed and feasted upon :D. Thanks for reading.
Chapter End Notes:
I wasn't sure whether it was too brief and didn't answer enough questions, so maybe I'll get round to doing an alternate ending at some point. Maybe.