“I thought… I thought you were afraid of me…” He murmured against her lips, too baffled to answer to her greedy kisses. He didn’t know what to do with his hands before she grabbed his wrists and brought his palms over her hips.
“Screw the fear… Screw everything… I refuse to give you up just because we’re both cowards…” She kept kissing and nibbling him, letting her mouth wander along the line of his stubbled jaw, down to his throat. Trailed his jugular with her tongue, tasting his anguish and uncertainty.
“You don’t have to… Don’t. Marie, don’t. Stop… Stop that!”
Logan struggled loose from her grasp, pushed her to the bed and eyed her, suspicious gleam in his eyes.
“What kind of a fucking game you’re playing? First you say that you’re afraid of me, and in the next minute you’re all over me! Stop fucking with my head, Marie! I’m messed up enough as it is!”
“I don’t want you to go! I want you! I need you!”
“I don’t want to go! But I don’t want to stay if it means that you’re going to live in fear, you deserve more than that!”
He opened the closet again. Marie flew from the bed. Instead of closing the door she delved in to the closet and came out with armful of her clothes.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Logan asked.
“You promised you’d take care of me. Hell of a lot easier for you to keep that promise if I’m with you… Logan!” Shirts and trousers went flying all around the room. She was trapped between Logan and the closet, her head bumping uncomfortably against sharp edges of the shelves, Logan’s hands wrapped tightly around her and his mouth plundering hers.
He felt dizzy. Everything except Marie, taste and feel of her, was blurred. He couldn’t get close enough, he couldn’t get her close enough, and he started to fear that he’d break her if he squeezed any harder. He didn’t want to let go of her. He didn’t want to leave. She was his life.
“You want me to stay?” He murmured, voice still hoarse from earlier shouting.
“I want you to stay… I want you to start trusting me… I want to trust you…” She spoke hastily between kisses, practically devouring his mouth, her hands roaming over his chest and shoulders, fingers finally grasping firm hold from his wild hair in a desperate attempt to pull him even closer.
“A new deal? I trust you, you trust me…” He whispered, his shaky hands already tearing off their clothes.
“Yes… I like the sound of that deal… Oh…” He latched his mouth around her bare nipple. And now the shelves behind her back were really becoming an issue, digging in to her flesh quite painfully.
“Logan?” She tugged his hair, lifting his head from her chest.
“Yeah?”
“Take me to bed. This closet’s killing me.”
“Well, we can’t have that…”
He twirled them around and laid her on the bed. Then rearranged her bathrobe. Tying the sash again, covering her nude body.
“And I can’t have you. Not yet. This has been a shitty morning for both of us. I’ll go for a walk. You do what you want to do.”
“Huh?”
“I need to clear my head. I want to fuck you because I love you, not because I need to make sure that you stay with me.”
“Asshole…” She muttered quietly when Logan left. She could hear him chuckling in the kitchen.
“I heard that. Love you, too, honey! See you later!”
“Jesus…” He wriggled a bit to get every bit of him to a more comfortable position in jeans that felt absolutely too tight and small. Put on his boots and stepped outside.
His every instinct had been screaming to turn her over and take her hard and fast, claim her back. Show her who was the alpha. And that wasn’t how he wanted things to be between them. Having sex with her wasn’t supposed to be about dominance and power.
The base was waking up around him. Men and women in uniforms were stepping out of buildings, getting ready for the coming day. He spotted Anderson and Vasquez in the growing crowd, walking slowly towards the mess. Vasquez looked still shaken, leaning heavily against her teammate. Anderson didn’t seem to mind. Tall and well built, as dumb as it gets, but good man to have in the team when you needed the extra muscle. And completely under Vasquez’s thumb.
“Poor bastard… But then again, who the fuck am I to talk…”
He wandered around aimlessly. There was nowhere to go and nothing to do. Except to go back to home as soon as he was sure he could face Marie without throwing her down and fucking her to next week. No. Hard and nasty wouldn’t do now.
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