Author's Chapter Notes:
We get a look inside Marie as she runs to save Logan.
(indicates memories)
'Oh my heart,
When did you stop feeling
When did everything turn to grey?
The day you turned away from hope.'

**********************************************************

The traffic blurred by, there was nothing inside her head but the need to get there, to help to *be* with him.

Everything she'd fought for, everything she'd done since the needle had pierced her flesh was gone. All she was feeling was *need*, her mind replayed the scene she'd seen on the cool screen above her head in the coffee shop.

Sabertooth ripping into him, his golden eyes flashing as he did it, tongue rolling around a mouth filled with obscenity. She remembered his touch from all those years ago, the way he'd purred as she'd squeaked in pain. The way he'd held her by the throat before strapping her into the machine. Thing is as soon as she'd run out of the shop all she could remember was the last time she'd seen them fight like this. No holds barred, no quarter given, none asked for.

It had been over her.

She'd seen him fighting with Sabertooth, even as the shell of the torch had exploded outward she'd seen him. Hunched low, arms extended, his entire body focussed on killing Sabertooth so he could get to her.

Now he was being killed by the creature that still haunted her subconscious occasionally and she *had* to be there, she *had* to help him, even if it meant her death.

Her thoughts were shaken by a car blaring it's horn at her as she vaulted across the bonnet, her feet skimming the paint leaving dusty marks. She didn't stop she just kept going, the traffic was getting sparse but she didn't care. Even as her lungs burned with the pain of her running, images of him dead and torn apart went through her head. Laid on top of Kitty protecting her from Sabertooth, doing everything he could as he bled out all over her.

Blinking back tears she fought her way through the memory on the torch, she'd never allowed it to fill her, to push itself through her skin before. She'd kept it at bay, along with the majority of Logan's personality, but now she let it flow as her mind realised that this piece of him might be the only piece she ever got to see ever again. Death was real and it danced with Logan every single day, just like it had with her and inside she felt her heart break as she understood exactly what she'd given away with the prick of a needle.

(She'd been lost in the grey, the pain of the machine wasn't that bad when she allowed it to just flow out of her along with her life. She'd fought it as long as she could, given everything she could have given and it still hadn't been enough. The words Logan had spoken to her on the train had come back to her then, his promise and she knew it was something he should never have given her.

As she let go she'd freed him of the burden, her last words to a God she no longer had any faith in had been for him. To allow him some peace, he'd done everything he could and she was willing to die.)

Her heart was near to bursting when the final corner was in sight, people were crowded around, watching, she'd haev to fight her way through them to get to him. Gritting her teeth she spurred her body to her goal.

(Touch, the scalding pain of it rushing through her body, light, sound, feeling, everything landing on her at once. Confusion as she opened her eyes and saw the blue veined cheek of Logan next to hers, his voice in her head telling her it was okay, he was here now, he'd never let anyone hurt her again. He'd kept his promise.

She'd pushed his shuddering body away, breaking the link between them, his thoughts still running around her head. His body in her mind grabbing hold of her and telling her to touch him again, to hold onto him. She needed to heal, she needed to be *alive*.)

The image of him in her head stopped her dead just before the corner and the fight behind it. His face, Logan's face had been streaked with tears, he'd *cried* for her death. He'd loved her enough to die for her, someone who'd reached out to him even when he'd revealed himself to be a killer in the first moments of meeting him.

She knew now what she had to do, she'd save him, she'd return the favour and disappear again before he saw her. He'd never know and she'd be able to sleep later when she replayed the memory of his tear stained face cradling her against him.

She owed him this much.
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