She walked through the mansion, the dank desertedness of the place assailing her. Trailing fingertips -- bare fingertips -- over the dust-covered furniture, she wondered what Charles would have said.
"I'm so proud of you, Marie." She could hear it in her head, and it made her smile. If only they were still here to celebrate with her. Instead...she passed a mirror and paused, examining the changes of the years. Her hair had gone to gray, and she'd let it, her tribute to two women who had come to mean so much to her in her years at Mutant High. The wrinkles had settled into her face, but she bore them with grace and acceptance, the mark of experience and life.
"Not bad for 127 years old, huh," she said aloud.
No one had thought about whether she was absorbing anything from others besides their powers and memories temporarily. No one had considered that between invulnerability and healing factor, she'd be the only one left after all these years.
Well, except for one other.
She arrived at Xavier's old office and sat on the sofa, remembering tea time and conversations long into the night. It had slowly become clear that she would outlast the rest of them.
"Somehow, Rogue, it seems that your absorption of Ms. Marvel and of Logan's healing factor has lengthened your lifespan," Jean had said. "Call it body memory, but your cells are...well, they're not aging at a normal rate."
Frightened but excited, Rogue had asked, "How slowly?"
Jean had smiled tightly and answered, "You'll probably outlive all of us."
The unspoken part was all except Logan. He wasn't a party to the conversation, per Rogue's request. She hadn't wanted him to hear what they had to say because she knew what he'd do. "I'll take care of you." That promise still rang in his ears, and she didn't want him to stay out of obligation.
"Only out of love, Logan."
She'd taken her heart in her hands when she told him about what Jean had found. She'd laid it out for him plainly, but had told him in no uncertain terms that she would stay at Mutant High until there was no reason to.
And she had. Marie D'Ancanto was one of the most noted mutant rights activist, picking up where Jean Grey had left off. And she succeeded. She had managed to see humanity through to the point where they had overcome their fears, and there was no need for the X-Men and Mutant High anymore. Xavier's School for the Gifted had closed its doors over three years ago, and with the end of that era, Marie was left adrift.
Her mission was done. And Logan was long gone.
She'd told him only out of love. She'd firmly believed that he would come around, that he would love her as she loved him. But somehow, it had never happened. Jean had passed away nearly fifty years ago --maybe longer? -- and Marie had woken to the sound of a motorcycle tearing off into the distance. He disappeared from her life again, for good.
It was strange, how she could relate to him so much more now. The passage of time seemed irrelevant, and she lost track of when things happened now. She knew now how he could have not realized how long he'd been gone from Xavier's after the Statute -- six years -- and how he perhaps lost track of the world since he'd left again. She'd thrown herself into advocating for her students -- the only children she ever had -- and for the rest of mutantkind. And when that was done, she turned to her own desires to give her focus. She fought for control, and finally won it, in the strangest of ways.
She'd stopped caring. She'd finally given up on trying to touch, merely waiting for time to catch up to her, and an unguarded hug from an old student let her know that her skin had given up on imprinting. She no longer needed validation from other people, and her skin no longer tried to suck the life out of them. It seemed so foolishly simple from the perspective of years. "Too bad it doesn't matter anymore."
"What doesn't matter?"
She jumped up, years of training throwing her body automatically into battle stance as she looked at the intruder.
"Logan?"
"Marie."
Consciously relaxing her posture, she tried to regain her composure. "It's been --"
"Nearly fifty three years," he finished for her.
"Oh. I wasn't sure..."
"I am."
She smiled bitterly. "You would be." She turned away to the window. "What brings you back here? Leave a box of cigars stashed somewhere?"
"I knew ya could do it."
Turning, she lifted a brow.
He chuckled. "That expression looks better on ya than me, darlin'."
"Could do what, Logan?"
"Change the world."
She rubbed at her arms, a sudden chill sweeping her. She turned away again.
"Marie?" His tone questioned her as he noticed her bare hands.
She refused to respond, opening the window to the bright spring day outside. "I think it's about time to sell this place, but I'm afraid the only people who'd need underground hangars now are billionaire snobs with their private jets."
"Marie, can I..." His voice was strained, the words sounding forced. "Can I touch you?"
Without turning, she answered, "If you're asking if I've gotten control, the answer is yes. If you're asking for permission, the answer is --"
And just that quickly, the answer didn't matter. He came up behind her, catching her hands and spinning her around to look into her eyes. Slowly, gently, his hand drifted down the side of her face, barely brushing her cheek. "Marie," he whispered, as she closed her eyes and leaned into the caress. As she pressed her face into his palm, someone gasped, she wasn't quite sure who, and she felt herself being pulled forward, whether by his hand or her will, she couldn't have said. After years of waiting, he kissed her.
It was soft and sweet, the way she'd always dreamed the first kiss between them would be. A soft gasp as he pulled back, then came in again for another, hungry, needy, almost desperate...
"Logan," she gasped out.
In answer he pulled her closer, fulfilling childhood dreams of being pressed up against this very man until there was no telling where he ended and she began -- "Logan," she tried again. "Logan, please, I can't...not like..."
He caught his breath and paused, not letting her go. "Marie...I..."
She shook her head. "If you're going to apologize, I don't want to hear it. But I can't just fall into this after fifty three years of not knowing...wondering..." She shoved her way out of his arms, rubbing up and down her own to stop the shivers that his touch had wrought in her.
"Marie..." The pleading tone of his voice was unfamiliar and hypnotic. To fall into his arms and feel that he needed her...
"Logan...where have you been? What happened to you? You don't call, you don't write and then you show up here and just..."
"Marie, Jean --"
"Oh for goodness sake, Logan, I don't want to hear about Jean when you just finished kissing me!"
"Damn it, Marie, Jean gave me back my past!"
He went on quickly. "She read me one last time, said she felt more powerful the more she...the closer...she pulled an image from the Northern Territories in Canada, a stone quarry...and a name...Howlett. My name is James, Marie. James Howlett."
"Why didn't you tell me?" she whispered. "Why didn't you say something, why didn't you ask --"
"Because I knew ya could do it, darlin', I knew when ya told me ya would stay here 'til there was no reason ta anymore. I knew ya could change the world and I wanted to give ya that chance."
She shook her head furiously. "God, you arrogant man. So what? So what if I could change the world? I only ever wanted you!"
"But darlin', don't ya see? I wasn't anythin' compared ta the world, compared ta you. I was always afraid that my past would catch up ta me in the worst way and hurt anyone I cared about, and I couldn't...I wouldn't stay here when ya were the only one left it could use ta hurt me."
She sighed. "Ain't that just like you." She finally turned to face him. "Fifty years, Logan? What in God's name took you fifty three years to accomplish?"
"Closure."
"So what am I, then, the last loose end?"
"No," he said softly as he approached her again. "You're the one I left behind."
"Damn it, Logan, James, whatever the hell I'm supposed to call you now...I didn't even know I was being left behind. I thought you just left for good. Poof, gone, never to return. And now you're back after *fifty-three* damn years and I'm just supposed to fall into your arms?! I'm not that lost little girl anymore, I'm old and bitter and ready to leave this place and this life and you just waltz back in and turn it all upside down again and I --"
"I was a little rich boy, can you believe it? I wouldn't have either, but I did some diggin'. And some rememberin'. But more diggin' than rememberin', heh. The old noggin ain't ready to give up its secrets that easy. But I found out that there was a Howlett Estate in Alberta. Went ta check the place out and somethin' felt...familiar. It was conveniently abandoned -- somethin' was finally cooperatin' with my search -- and I went in and took a look around. 'Course there was nothin' left, but it was still kinda nice, ta feel like I once had a home. It's owned by the government up there, 'parently there were rumors it was haunted, so no one wanted it. So I, uh, I bought it. Ain't much ta look at now, but there're fireplaces in nearly every room, and it's up on this hill so there's a great view." He drew a breath, putting his hands in his pockets to keep from reaching out to her. "And that quarry? Well, I figured if I was a little rich kid who ended up in a quarry, we hadta be runnin' from somethin', so I took the most direct route from Alberta up north." He chuckled. "There are a lotta damn quarries up there, lemme tell ya. But Jeannie told me this one would've been in the middle a nowhere, nothin' but forest, and there'd be a water tower and an old cave-in. Not a lot ta go on, 'specially after so many years, but...well, that's where some rememberin' came in handy." He scrubbed a hand down over his face to clear his head. "I think I can one up ya on the first love department, Marie." She frowned, uncomprehending.
"I killed mine."
"Oh, Logan..." She reached out to him, drawing him back into her arms. "I'm sorry, Logan."
He snuggled her head down onto his shoulder. "Her name was Rose. She...she started out as kinda my babysitter, but it ended up being just us by the time we got ta the quarry. Still ain't sure what we were runnin' from, but from the sounds of the rumors about the Howlett Estate, it was nasty. I fell in love with her, that much I know for sure, and then I...I accidentally killed her." He drew a breath and closed his eyes, holding her tighter against him.
"I stabbed her, Marie. Accidentally, with the claws. Like you. Only..." He swallowed hard. "Only she couldn't save herself, and I couldn't save her either. God, Marie...I'm..." He squeezed her tightly, words failing him.
"Logan, it was an accident, you said so yourself." She lifted her head off his shoulder to look into his eyes. "You're not a killer, Logan. You only do what you think you have to do to protect yourself, and the ones you love." Smirking, she added, "Even if you're wrong."
"Damn it, Marie, I still would do it the same. I couldn't stay here, I just couldn't. You'd be a target for any demon of my past to use against me." Seeing her look of protest, he continued, "And I'm not done talkin' to ya. I still have more ta tell ya." She settled down again. "Marie, Rose...she looked like Jean."
Rage overwhelmed her as she pushed away. "Goddamn it, I don't need to hear this. Congratulations, James Howlett, this is your life, now leave me the hell out of it." With that, she ran from the room.
"Damn it, Marie, you think you'd have learned to listen, being a diplomat and all!" he hollered after her as he followed.
She ran blindly through the hallways back to her room, collapsing on the bed crying as she had so many times before. After a moment, she sat up, scrubbing at the tears on her cheeks and laughing at herself. "Way to show you're not that little girl anymore, Marie."
"No kidding," he replied.
Unsurprised, she answered "Go on."
He nodded towards the bed, raising an eyebrow. She nodded, and he sat next to her. "I had ta work it out for myself, darlin', had ta figure out what was real and what wasn't. What did I feel for Jean, and what did I still feel for Rose? How much of what I...how I...how much of you and me was me tryin' ta make it right for somethin' that happened before? I couldn't come back till I'd figured it out."
"It's been an awfully long time for that, James. Awfully long."
He snorted. "Call me Logan. James Howlett was probably a pansy-ass like Scooter was." He shook his head. "I, uh...I also tracked down my...hell, my relatives. Told 'em I was long lost and all that garbage. There're stories from generations past about the crazy line of Howletts who lived at the Howlett Estate. Relatives didn't wanna touch the place, superstition and all that." He looked at her. "I got a past, Marie, I got a family." He reached for her hand. "Now I want a future." He swallowed hard. "I want it with you, Marie."
She sighed. "Guess I ain't done with this life yet, after all," she replied, and kissed him.
--end--(Y'all can imagine the shagging, thank you. This is a family show. :P)
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Spoilers from the ORIGIN series in the comics.