Logan: When am I ever gonna need this?
Marie: Oh, I don’t know, maybe when I’m not around or if by some unimaginable chance you find yourself in a place that doesn’t have a laundry service like we do here.
Logan (suddenly paranoid): Why wouldn’t you be around? I don’t want you going on missions without me.
Marie: Relax. I’m not going anywhere, I’m just saying, this is something worth learning.
Logan (sarcastically): What’s next… crochet?
Marie: No, but teaching you to sew would be an advantage.
Scott: She’s right you know, all the benefits of living here make you forget the basics.
Logan: Oh the basics, like how to kill a man or are you talking about the much more important task of keeping your underwear really white?
Scott: You mock, but the ladies love it. *smirk*
Jean: What ‘ladies’?
Scott: … uhm… my grandma?
Jean: That’s what I thought.
Logan (sarcastically): Nice save.
Scott: Shut up.
Marie: Both of you shut up.
Jean: Right, now first things first, clothes go into the giant opening at the front of the square machine.
Scott: Honey, I think we’ve got that much.
Logan: What giant opening?
Marie: *sighs* This is gonna be harder than we thought.
Jean: Nope, my mother tried to teach my father how to do laundry once… I knew it would be this hard.
Marie: Did he learn?
Jean: No, but he tried… boy did he try… shrunk all his sweaters.
Scott: Is that why his clothes always look a bit too small for him?
Jean: No, he’s given up washing… now he’s just getting fat.
Scott: …oh.
Marie (to Logan): And where do you think you’re going?
Logan: *grumbles* … I… uh forgot some underwear that needed washing.
Marie: Nice try… you don’t wear em’.
Logan: Damn it!
Scott: Ugh… I did not need to know that.
Jean: … don’t you ever… uhm… zip up too fast?
Logan: Healing factor darlin’.
Marie: Healing factor my ass, you screamed so loud the last time you did it, half the team came running in ready to kick ass.
Scott: Aw come on, I don’t remember that… where the Hell were we?!
Jean: In the… uhm… garden.
Scott (recalling): Oh yeah… *smirk*
Logan: I’m outta here.
Marie: Oh no you don’t. You’re going to have to do this at some point, I just know it. So, bite the bullet and buck up.
Logan: Marie, *all* my clothes could probably fit into that chick bag you carry around. Laundry is not an issue for me.
Marie: Fine. After this we’ll go out and buy you some more clothes, but can you just stand her and watch… for me? Please sugar?
Logan: *sighs* How do I get roped into these things?
Marie (to Jean): Continue please.
Jean: Next, you need detergent and softener.
Scott: Which ones which?
Marie: Detergent or soap is like ‘Tide’ or something and softener is ‘Snuggles’.
Logan: ‘Snuggles’?
Scott: Yeah, you know, the cute little vanilla colored teddy bear? *breaks out into impression* ‘I’m snuggly soft.’
Logan, Marie and Jean: …
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Author's Chapter Notes:
I was at the laundromat today and thought, ‘Why have I never done that one before?’ This is not to say that men don’t know how to do laundry… so you know, I’m not trying to be sexist (did I use that word right?).