Rogue silently watched the man she loved sleep, fighting tears. He promised he wouldn’t hurt her, he promised to take care of her, but he hurt her more than she thought she could ever be hurt. Earlier that day, an accidental brush of skin on skin, it happened occasionally, they were used to it. But the memory she took from him made her heart constrict in her chest.

It was the first thing she had gotten fro him, the memory must have been at the top of his mind. A woman, no more than a few years older than her was the focus of the memory. The woman looked just like her. And Logan was making love to her.

Not having sex, making love. At first she’d thought the memory was from years before, but when she focused on the memory, she realized it had been from a few weeks, no more than a month before.

Logan had cheated.

She hadn’t said anything yet. She was waiting for the anger, the rage. Anything but the pain that coursed through her body. It hadn’t come yet. And the worst part was she understood. She knew it couldn’t be easy being with someone you couldn’t touch. The memory of how Logan had run his hands over the woman’s pale skin tormented her.

Inside she knew it wasn’t a good excuse, but to see Logan touch another woman because he couldn’t touch her… it made her want to curl into herself and cry.

She knew she couldn’t keep it to herself, but she didn’t know what to do. After ridding her eyes of her tears, she carefully moved out of the bed they shared. When he shifted, searching for her, she winced.

“Where you going, darlin’?” he asked groggily.

“Just getting a drink.” she answered, hoping he wasn’t awake enough to smell her tears.

“Hurry back.” he mumbled as he drifted off.

She nodded even though he couldn’t see her and left the room. Walking the halls for a short time she found herself in front of the Professor’s office. As she expected, he was still awake. “Come in.” he called to her quietly. “Rogue. Why are you up so late?”

Her mouth opened, but she found words beyond her. ~Read mah mind, Professor.~ she projected.

He frowned, but did as she requested. A minute later, he pulled back and looked at her with sympathetic eyes. “I’m sorry, Rogue. Do you want me to make him think he’s a little girl?” she shook her head with a half-sob half-laugh. A few seconds later, her head was in his lap as she cried. He lightly stroked her hair until she calmed. “What do you what to do?”

“Ah don’t know, but Ah don’t think Ah can stay.”

“I understand.” he paused. “I was going to ask you in the morning, but now seems like a good time as any. I have a mission for you. It’s a recon job. Undercover. It’s an enormous risk, but I had hoped you would agree to do it.”

“Away from the mansion?”

“Yes.”

“Ah’ll do it.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes.”

“Do you wish to leave tonight?”

“No, Ah have to at least tell him why.”

“Of course. Under the circumstances, I will have the Blackbird ready at ten in the morning.”

“Thank ya, Professor.” She stood and gave him a sad smile.

He grasped her hand reassuringly. “Eventually, everything will become clear.”

She shook her head, “Ah hope so.”

She left his office and walked to the kitchen. After grabbing a bottle of water, she walked to the library and settled into one of the over-stuffed chairs. Despite the turmoil in her mind, she quickly fell asleep.

Two hours later, Logan woke to a cold bed. After looking around the room and not seeing Marie, he stood and opened the door. Following her scent, he quickly found her in the library, curled into a chair. Not wanting to wake her, he gently picked her up, noting she held his dog tags tightly in her fist.

He held her protectively to his chest and walked back to their bedroom. He settled her in the bed and wrapped her in his arms. After softly kissing the top of her head, he swiftly fell back asleep.

When Marie woke the next morning, she was in her own bed, alone. Briefly wondering how she got there, she figured Logan must have brought her to bed. She sighed, “How am Ah going to do this?” The silent room gave her no answer.

A quick glance at the clock showed it to be 9:23. She stood, looking around the room. For the first time in more than a year, she noticed how little of her there was in the bedroom they shared. Thinking about it, she knew it was because she hadn’t wanted to make him claustrophobic. Tried to make everything seem as if she had just stayed the night.

Cursing as tears started to fall, she grabbed a duffel and haphazardly tossed her belongings in. Her stuff barely filled the small bag. After grabbing her toiletries and closing the bag, she sat heavily on the bed, feeling lightheaded.

“Damn it, Logan! Why did ya have to ruin everything?” Clasping the dog tags in her hand, she fought the wave of grief that threatened to overwhelm her. When she realized what she was doing, she bit her lip and drew the tags over her head. Dropping them on the pillow, she closed her eyes and dropped her face to her hands.

The phone ringing made her jump and made her heart race. She took a few calming breaths and answered the phone. “Hello?”

“Rogue? It’s Hank. I have something I think you will like. Will you come down to my office?”

“Ah don’t know, Hank. Ah have to-”

“It won’t take long. I promise.”

She sighed, “Okay. I’ll be right down.”

“See you in a minute then.”

They hung up and after splashing water on her face, she left the room. Walking quickly to his office, she wondered what it was this time. Months ago Hank had discovered that she would never be able to control her skin. Just as her heart needed to beat, her skin killed.

Logan had spent the night making love to her, convincing her he didn’t care about her skin. That the bodysuits, the scarves, the condom every time didn’t matter to him. She’d believed him then. Now it was painfully obvious how much it did matter to him.

She walked into Hank’s office after knocking and gave him a small smile. “What is it, Hank?”

“This.” he answered, holding up a simple gold band.

Her brows drew together, “What is it?”

“This ring emits an EM pulse when attached to the wearer. In most cases, it would electrify the skin. In your case, it might neutralize it.”

Her eyes widened, “Really?”

“It’s not 100%, but there’s a good chance it’ll work.”

She nodded, “Ah’ll try it.” After pulling the glove off her right hand, she took a deep breath. Holding out her hand, she tried to control her shaking. Since he was wearing gloves, he slid the ring on her middle finger. They were silent while she felt a shiver go down her spine and her skin broke out in goose bumps.

“Well?” he asked.

“Ah feel all tingly.”

“Do you wish to test it?” She nodded, “Perhaps Logan-”

“No, not him.”

Hank frowned for a moment, then nodded. “Of course. Then who should we get to assist us?”

“I will.” They turned to see the Professor smiling at them.

“Ya sure, Professor?”

“Yes, Rogue.” He held his hand out to her.

She took a tentative step forward and lifted her hand only to draw it back. She took a deep breath and steadied herself. Lightly brushing her fingers over the back of the Professor’s hand, she choked back a cry when there was no pull.

“It worked.” Hank said, a large smile on his face.

Rogue and the Professor shared a bittersweet smile, “Thanks, Hank.” she said softly.

“A pleasure, my dear.”

Rogue tried to smile at him, but it was caught in a sob. She covered her mouth with her hand and with a quick apology, fled the room.

Hank watched her, concerned. “I had hoped for a better reaction.”

Xavier placed a hand on Hank’s arm, “She’ll be grateful when she feels better.”

“Is she ill?”

“A sickness of the heart, my friend.”

Hank was silent for a moment, but then there was a low growl, “Logan.”

Xavier nodded, “I’m afraid so.”

Marie ran up to their room, ignoring the concerned calls behind her. When she opened the door, she froze. “Logan.”

He looked up at her and she swallowed nervously. In one hand, he held his tags and the other was clenched tightly into a fist. “What’s goin’ on, Marie?” he asked with a growl.

She bit her lip as she walked in and closed the door. “Ah’m leaving.”

A growl echoed across the room. “Why?”

She closed her eyes and felt her throat tighten painfully. “Last night, in the bathroom. When ya touched me, Ah got a memory. About a month ago, ya went into town, to a bar. What took ya so long?” she asked, even though she already knew the answer.

His expression went from anger to guilt in a second. “Marie, baby. I’m sorry. It just happened. I-”

“If you say, ‘I was drunk’ Ah’m going to hit you.”

He clenched his jaw and shook his head. “I wasn’t gonna say that. I just…I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

She laughed humorlessly. “What, you slipped? ‘Sorry, honey, didn’t mean to. Do you mind if I keep going?’ Ah don’t think so.”

When he remained silent, she felt her eyes sting. “Ah know it’s not easy being with meh. Ah honestly thought ya could handle it. But ya can’t, that much is obvious.” she idly played with the ring on her finger. “Ah’m leaving soon.”

His head turned to her and he looked at her with pained eyes. “Marie, darlin’. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you. I swear, just don’t leave me.”

Tired of holding them back, she let the tears fall. “Ah can’t stay, Logan. Ah can’t.” she was sobbing, her emotions finally having gotten the best of her.

Logan quickly walked to her, framing her face in his hands. “I’m so sorry. Please don’t leave. It’ll never happen again. I promise.”

She watched him in amazement, he was almost frantic and hadn’t yet realized he held her face in his bare hands. In an almost desperate move , she kissed him, not wanting to lose her opportunity to touch him without killing him.

He was frozen in shock for a moment until he realized there was no deadly pull. With a growl, he crushed her to him, his tongue immediately plunging into her mouth to taste her. With a small whimper, she pushed him away. Brushing his thumb almost reverently over her lips, his voice came out hoarse.

“How?”

She stepped away and his hand fell to his side. Showing him the ring, she explained. “Hank made it. He said it emits an EM pulse. It nullifies my skin.”

“That’s great, darlin’. We can-”

“No. We can’t. Ah’m still leaving.”

“You kissed me. I thought you…”

She cringed, “Ah know. Ah’m sorry.” Walking around him, she grabbed her duffel off the bed. “Ah shouldn’t have, but Ah just wanted to know how it felt.”

A second later, the duffel was pulled from her grasp and his lips covered hers. Her hands came up to push him off, but after being denied for so long, she instead found herself holding him close. His mouth moved expertly over hers, so familiar, but at the same time different.

His mouth moved down to her neck, his lips leaving a moist trail. She moaned and tilted her head back to allow him better access. He took advantage, lightly biting down on the sensitive skin. She jumped, making him chuckle. He had moved them backwards with out her noticing and lowered them to the bed.

As she felt familiar pressure, reality hit her like a hammer and she pushed him off. “No, no, no. Ya can’t do that. It’s not fair.” She stood and grabbed her duffel, “Please let me go. Ah can’t stay. Every time Ah close my eyes Ah see you with her. Loving her, pleasuring her. Ah’ll go insane if Ah stay.”

“I’ll make it go away.” he promised. “Just tell me how.”

“Let meh go.” she answered sadly.

“Never.”

She turned away from him and covered her mouth with her hand, trying to muffle her sobs. He came around her and dropped to his knees. Grasping her tightly to him, he buried his face in her stomach. “I’ll make it better. But I can’t do that if you’re gone. Give me a chance. I’ll make it better. Please.”

With a pang, she realized the wetness she felt on her stomach was his tears. Her answering tears fell from her face, landing in hair. She closed her eyes and laced her hands through his hair. “Ah love you.” she said softly, making his hands tense almost painfully into her sides. But he didn’t say it back.

As she looked down at the top of his head, she realized she wouldn‘t be able to do it alone.

~Jean, please help me!~

~What’s wrong, Rogue?~

In a frantic thought, she relayed everything to her. Jean’s voice was sad as she responded. ~I’ll be right there.~

Her lips trembled and she sank down in front of him. “Ah love you.” she repeated. “Nothing can ever change that.” His eyes searched her face and she memorized the lines of his face. She heard distant voices and placed a gentle kiss to his lips. “Ah’m sorry.”

He frowned, “Why?” he asked, his voice low.

She turned her head to the door as it opened and Jean stepped in, followed by Scott and Remy. Bobby was slightly behind them, his face concerned. Marie started to stand, but Logan was quicker as he stood and thrust her behind him. “Get out.” he growled.

Jean gave him a sad smile, “Rogue has requested my help. It would be easier if you let her leave with us.”

“Not gonna happen.” he growled, surprising everyone by releasing his claws.

“Logan. Please-” Marie started, but his angry growl stopped her.

“You ain’t leaving me!” she jumped back, startled by the anger in his voice.

When she went to step around him and he pushed her towards the bed, Jean attempted to paralyze him with her telekinesis, but all the emotion flying in the room made it hard for her to concentrate. His anger made her flinch as he fought against her control. The noises he was making started to sound increasingly feral and Jean sent a physic SOS to the Professor.

He acknowledged her, and she felt his presence in the room. A moment later Logan froze, then slumped to the floor, unconscious. His claws quickly drew back into his hands.

Marie sat on the floor, her eyes pinned to Logan. She crawled to him and moved his head to her lap. “Is he okay?” she asked softly.

Jean crouched beside them and rested a hand on her shoulder. “The Professor just stunned him, Rogue. He should be up and around shortly.”

Rogue nodded and slowly ran her hands through his hair. “I never wanted any of this.” She raised tear-streaked eyes to Jean. “Is it really so much to ask to be happy?”

“I would like to say it’s not, but with who we are… It occasionally seems that way.”

Marie leaned over to press a kiss to his forehead, and rested there for a moment. After taking a few deep breaths, trying to memorize his scent, she looked up to meet Jeans sympathetic gaze. “You’ll make sure he’s okay?” she asked as she moved her hand over his beloved face.

“As much as he’ll allow.” Jean responded. After a moment of silence, she frowned and looked to Marie. “If you’re going to go, it needs to be soon.”

Marie nodded and kissed him lightly on the lips, lingering for a long moment. Then, after moving his head from her lap to the floor, she stood on shaky legs. Grabbing her small duffel, she gave the room one last look before walking to the door.

She stopped as she reached it and chanced one last look at Logan’s prone form. Then she clenched her jaw and walked to the awaiting jet.