Author's Chapter Notes:
'Had so much happened in a year, that even as she was stood only a few metres away, standing half-naked and fulfilling all his deepest darkest fantasies, that she could be so tantalisingly close…, yet so damn far.'

Though the portrayal of Rogue in X-Men Animated and the comics will always be my favourite with her sultry sassiness and straight talking, I still liked the gothic queen of X-Men Evo’ with her dark and bleak outlook, so I’m working to create a hybrid of the two.
Part 5- ‘A whole new lease on life…’

Rogue hadn’t returned to the mansion, she hadn’t come last night and Logan knew it. He’d stepped into their dorm room in the early hours that morning only to find her bed still perfectly made and perfectly empty.

Their fight had been playing on his mind, the vitriolic statements she had uttered, and the hateful glance with which she had left him had him shaken to the core. He should have gone after her straight away, explained himself to her, he should have done something, anything. The fact was he had remained stunned, not only for the hate she had shown but the strength with which she had thrown him across the room. Even with all their extensive training in the danger room she had never managed to exact a move like that, one that had caught him so completely off guard.

He was still in the den, sat absorbed in pensive thought when the sounds of the students milling about the house in early morning sleepiness roused him to the hour. It was morning and she was not back.

And he couldn’t sense her, couldn’t pick up her scent, where was she? How had he allowed her to get away from him so completely? A familiar gnawing in his stomach made him clutch his coffee cup harder, and a question unbidden and unwanted flooded into his mind. Who was she with?

Almost as soon as he had thought it he berated himself for the stupidity of the notion, and his petty jealousy. What did it matter who she was with, it was not as if she could actually touch them, and that was what had gotten them into this mess in the first place. She couldn’t touch… such a cruel irony then that his first image had been Rogue with another man.

‘Whoa…! Hey Logan taking up some light reading…?’ Logan growled at the sound of the cheerful voice behind him, a voice far too chipper and now more than usually grating on his pounding nerves. Bobby was stood in the doorway surveying the mess Rogue’s run in with Logan had left behind.

Before the young man knew what was happening Logan had him pinned to the wall. The older mutant had his forearm pressing crushingly against his windpipe. He struggled to catch a breath, and watched bug-eyed and terrified as Logan brought up his hand and bared three very sharp adamantium claws right under his eyes.

‘You swore to me you’d tell her…you stupid son-of a bitch…, do ye have any idea what you’ve done?’
Logan had long figured out Rogue would never been so angry had the boy just been honest with her, but Bobby hadn’t told her and he hadn’t told her either. And now it would serve them both right if she had walked out of their lives for good. It still didn’t stop Logan wanting to tear the Iceboy’s eyes out.

But Bobby had no idea why the scary older mutant with the deadly claws was swearing blue murder.

‘Look Logan…’ his voice came out as a painful squeak, ‘I don’t know what you’re talking… ABOUT!’ He practically screamed the last word as Logan increased his pressure.

‘She knows, Rogue knows…’ Logan hissed at him. Had Bobby not realised quite how desperate his situation was the blood shot look in Logan’s sleep depleted eyes served to make it perfectly clear.

‘How, did someone say…did you say something?’ A confused look crossed his face. Logan laughed an ugly, harsh sound that scared them both.

‘No, and it’s the biggest mistake of my life. But dammit, I wasn’t gonna do you’re dirty work…, you promised me; you swore to me that you would tell her…’

‘Then how?’ Bobby’s confusion lasted only a moment longer until he recalled the events of last night. They had been in the lawn, both of them just a little drunk, the moon was bright and the air had been intoxicating. This new girl was fun, bubbly and unburdened; it had been only a moment of weakness a few weeks ago. But the relationship had developed and moved on. Siren had helped him move onto a new level in a relationship, something he could never have with Rogue.

And when he kissed her now, it didn’t feel so wrong, simply because he had always known that with Rogue there would always be that barrier between them that was her skin.

So he had kissed Siren on the lawn only later realising that they were stood underneath Rogue’s window and maybe that shadow in the glass hadn’t just been a trick of the night.
He hadn’t wanted her to find out like that, to see him with his tongue down another girl’s throat.

‘Logan I was going to tell her, I just had to find the right time…’ Bobby pleaded once more.

Logan shook his head, ‘It’s too late now ain’t it, she didn’t come home last night. I swear to God, if anything happens to her. God dammit if you weren’t such a coward…’ Logan’s disgust at the man he refused to release was evident.

But Bobby, the coward that he was still had something of his pride, ‘I’m the coward…? Look at you... you’re what, something approaching 80? And you’re piss-scared of telling the woman you love exactly how you feel about her. So who’s the coward huh…? A grown man hiding in the shadows content to make moon-eyes at another guy’s girl and you have the nerve to call me a coward.’

The pressure of Logan’s arm lifted a little at the shock of the words being shot out at him. Bobby seeing him clearly riled carried on regardless.

‘Do you think nobody notices, do you think the whole Academy doesn’t know, that we don’t all have a good laugh about it?’ That was unwise; telling a near invincible man with metal shredding claws that he was being laughed at was just plain stupid. Still, no one would ever accuse Bobby Drake of being the sharpest light bulb in the box.

Logan growled, seeing red he pressed forward, ‘Just keep talking bub, it’ll be a pleasure rippin’ a hole where your stomach used to be…’

Logan extracted the claws of his other hand, slowly torturously pressing them close to Bobby’s abdomen. It was then that his nostrils caught a familiar scent and he turned to look at the figure stood in the doorway.


‘Rogue…’ he whispered her name, scared that she was a vision, a cruel trick of the mind that would disappear if he spoke too loud. But she was real and she regarded both of the men with some amusement.

‘Logan…’ she spoke softly, with that distinct Southern lilt that he had so often teased her about. ‘Ah think it’d be best if ya let the glorified popsicle go…’ Logan turned back to look at Bobby and hesitated for a second before complying reluctantly.

Bobby dropped gratefully to the floor, holding a shaking hand to the angry red bruises on his throat. He wheezed, and coughed struggling for a breath.
Rogue stepped further into the room, standing above Bobby she crouched down to him. Running an approving finger down the side of Bobby’s face, she spoke up to Logan whilst tilting Bobby’s face upwards slightly so she could look him directly in the eye.

‘Ya know Logan, it ain’t Bobby’s fault he wanted a new toy…, one he could actually play with. But the thin’ he ought to remember is that new toys have a nasty habit of breaking easily…’ She spoke those last words with a whisper and a gentle smile, but there was no mistaking the menacing intent in them.

Bobby looked up at her with the same horrified bug-eyed expression that had crossed his face when Logan had grabbed him. ‘Look Rogue, I wanted to tell you…really I…’

She didn’t let him finish, shaking her head she sighed resignedly, and made to stand up, but before she did so, she thought again, and turning back slapped him so hard and so fast that he collapsed backwards. His hand went from his neck to his face where he soon realised he was going to have the same matching angry bruise.

Rogue smiled satisfactorily at Logan and without saying another word made her way out of the room. Logan hurried after her.

‘Hey, we need to talk…’ He took a hold of her arm. She let his touch linger for a while before pulling away.

‘No we don’t. There’s nothing left for ya to say that ah wanna hear.’ She started walking away again, down the middle of the hallway, head held high, shoulders thrown back and wholly disregarding of the other students who milled about her, making sure they knew it was up to them to move out of the way. They eyed her somewhat curiously as they made their way to the canteen or kitchen given she was still wearing the clothes she had worn the night before.

There was also the matter of an angry Logan stalking her footsteps. That inspired awe; it showed more balls than even some of the guys had to be walking away from a beast like Logan. But then, she had always been his favourite. There was a lot of crap he was willing to take from her that he would never allow from anyone else.

Rogue walked with purpose, an intention and determination Logan had to admit was oddly appealing. Certainly the view from and of her behind as her hips swung with a liveliness that had been waning in her of late was hypnotising. He found himself having to growl at a number of passing male students with roving eyes, oddly protective and possessive of an ass that was never really going to be his. She knew or rather heard what he was doing and smiled quietly to herself.

‘Rogue…so where did you get to you dirty little stop out…?’ Was the greeting that welcomed Rogue as she entered the dorm room. Kitty Pryde as usual immaculately dressed and immaculately made up sniggered in that school girl manner of hers.

And usually Rogue made allowances for it, because by all intents and purposes the girl was harmless if a little annoying with her breathless exuberance. But today, well today was different, all she offered Kitty today was an angry snarl.

‘Get out.’ She stated in no uncertain terms. Kitty the darling of the Academy, was not used to being so effectively dismissed. And though all grown up, she still had that habit of acting like the spoilt teenage princess.

‘Excuse me…? Unless you’ve forgotten we all share this room, and like, I’m sorry, but did I blink and miss the part where you were crowned queen of England…’ She tossed her hair in an offended huff.

‘G-e-t…o-u-t...’ Rogue reiterated every syllable clearly and decisively. But Kitty was still up for a fight. It was only when a second person entered the room that she conceded. Logan was not a man to be argued with; she was out of the door even as he gestured towards it.

He closed the door with a firm bang behind him. She ignored him and making towards her part of the room started removing her gloves. She tossed them carelessly on her bed and flexed her fingers slowly. Raising her arms above her head she stretched, arching her back and sighing loudly.

Throwing open the doors of her own drawer she just as carelessly began throwing out various items of clothing over her shoulder. It was not long before the area resembled a tip. There wasn’t much variation in the colours of her clothes, black and blacker just in differing shades. The occasional dark green or midnight blue, but nothing at all to reflect the light, no pastel shades, nothing to catch the light and it was just how she liked it.

Logan watched her awhile before approaching her slowly, ‘Look ki…Rogue …’ he pointedly corrected when she looked up at him sharply. ‘I wanted to tell you, it’s just…it wasn’t really my place, ya know…?’

‘Not your place…?’ she repeated, ‘Sure it wasn’t Logan, as my friend, the man who said that ah could trust him, whose loyalty ah should never have to doubt. No Logan guess it really wasn’t your place to tell me anything…’ she scoffed, and turned her back to him once more.

He growled loudly, his claws just inching to make an appearance again, he hated these games she played, and she knew it. Hated it when she turned his back on him, when he couldn’t see or sense what she was thinking. For some reason that action of hers, that simple action of cutting the conversation off like that had started to make him nervous.

‘Ya know, ah don’t really care all that much about Bobby, the new Barbie Doll he’s found is welcome to the ice pick, but you. That’s where it hurts Logan, ya knew for weeks and ya kept it to yourself. Ya lied to me, ya looked me in the eye day after day and…you…lied. What sort sick bastard does that…?’

‘The sort of sick bastard that didn’t wanna see you get hurt…’ Logan spat back at her.

She turned to him once more and smiled cruelly, ‘Yeah, and look how well that turned out…’ she sighed. ‘This is pointless Logan we’re goin’ round in circles, same old words, same old wounds, and same old lies. It won’t work anymore old friend, ah grew up. There’s not enough in here…’ she pointed to her heart ‘and far too much in here…’ she tapped her temple.

‘What do ya want me to do Rogue? What do ya want me to say?’ He stepped towards her.

‘Nothin’…nothing at all Logan. This ain’t for ya to fix. Ah know it must be hard for ya to believe but some things are beyond even you sugah.’ She smiled at last. A familiar smile, something else that had sadly long been waning in her and it showed him that she had forgiven him, at least on some level.

She seemed to have chosen her outfit at last and separating a pair of black jeans and black long sleeve top shoved the rest of the pile unceremoniously back into her drawer. Then even as Logan looked on she began to unbutton the top of the shirt she was wearing, she had gotten at least halfway down the shirt before at last Logan realised how inappropriate this was.

‘What the hell are you doin’?’ he asked somewhat haltingly seemingly transfixed by her hands hovering over the next button.

She smiled at him mischievously, ‘Well ah was thinking of havin’ a shower, ah’d thought that works best without clothes.’ She began to unbutton further down and try what he would Logan couldn’t tear his eyes away.

He must have mentally slapped himself a half dozen times before he thought to turn his back. By that point her shirt was hanging open and he had caught sight of her black lace bra, dark and delicate material against milky white skin, and she had started to work on the heavy fastenings of her button front jeans.

And dammit if she wasn’t getting him all confused again. This wasn’t his Rogue, what had happened, had it really happened just like she said…, that she’d simply grown up when he wasn’t looking? Oh yes he saw it on the outside, that was perfectly clear she’d grown up and filled out in all the right places but on some level Logan had convinced himself that she’d always need him.

Their history, a background filled with loss, rejection and so many disjointed memories had been a connection to rival the deepest sentiment. Had so much happened in a year, that even as she was stood only a few metres away, standing half-naked and fulfilling all his deepest darkest fantasies, that she could be so tantalisingly close…, yet so damn far.

It had always been the skin, the perfect excuse for her not to touch or be touched but there were more barriers, fences, electric high barbed-wire defences that she’d put up all by herself. And he knew, those words, her words would haunt him for years to come, would terrify him as much as the darkest of his nightmares. ‘There’s not enough in here…’

His Rogue was scared and uncertain; a young woman who kept the world and its ills locked away in her head. That one he could protect, the one who would need him, who relied on him, who looked up to him.

Not this vixen, this sensual creature that teased and taunted, a singular and veritable mess of contradictions. It had changed, but his aching old bones refused to move on, refused to accept and wanted time and history to do the impossible and move backwards. Back to a year ago when it was all simple, Jean-Gray was alive, and he thought of this girl, this Rogue as a kid.

Not this temptress who even now stood close to his shoulder in her underwear displaying more skin than he had ever known her to show. Their flirting had been harmless at first, but now it was getting dark and dangerous.

Rogue brought her face close to his ear, careful always careful not to touch or be touched. She blew softly into his ear, ‘Congratulate me Logan, ah’ve found a whole new lease of life...’

And Bobby was right; the realisation dawned on him and hit him like a ton of bricks, as he watched her walk away, her bare feet skipping lightly across the floor. He was piss-scared of telling the woman he loved exactly what he felt about her, because he really didn’t know what and who it was he had fallen in love with.
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