Chapter 5
“Lies are told only to convey to someone that one has no need either of him or his good opinion.” – Theodor Adorno
Arriving in the nearby recreational room, Rogue chose herself a quiet seat near the window, with Bobby sitting down besides her with concern etched into his features. Rogue raised her head slowly to gaze out of the nearby window; her eyes scanning the grounds as she bought herself time to think over what she was going to say. However, she was distracted when she felt Bobby take her gloved hand reassuringly. She quickly looked round, her eyes meeting his ice blue gaze as he watched her intently.
“Are you feeling better?” he asked her quietly. “I came in your room this morning.. and well, Wolverine wouldn’t let me in.”
“Oh..” said Rogue quietly as she glanced down at her lap. “Yeah.. I’m up now in any case.” She swallowed uncertainly, feeling the need to sooth her aching throat. “But I need to tell you somethin’.”
Bobby continued to watch her, his attention focused solely on her. Rogue raised her eyes upon him, his attentive state almost bringing her to tears. She couldn’t tell him. He would be impossible to live with the worry hanging over him. He pitied her currently with her dangerous skin, if he knew of her fatal condition he would be crushed and almost adamant that he alone took care of her. Rogue didn’t want that. That was Logan’s promise. Regardless, she didn’t want everyone in the mansion treating her like she could collapse any second.
“Bobby,” she began needing to avert her gaze for a moment. “I think we should stop goin’ out..” Her eyes nervously fluttered back onto his face to see his expression drop in disbelief.
“Rogue.. why?” he asked as he stared at her.
Rogue exhaled a low sigh, closing her eyes, “Please, Bobby. Don’t make this any harder that it is. I’ve made my decision.”
“But - ”
“No, Bobby. Trust me,” she pulled her hand out of his, standing to her feet, “It’ll be better in the end, you’ll see.” With that she quickly made her exit, not wanting to hear him ask questions, want explanations. It had been hard enough for her to lie to him like that. But it’d hurt him less when the inevitable happened. It meant both of them could lead relatively normal lives, including the rest of the mansion.
“Rogue, may I talk with you?” came the eloquent voice of Charles Xavier. He had just appeared around the corner almost silently with his mechanised wheelchair.
Rogue hesitated a moment before her shoulders slumped and she nodded her head in answer. Making her way towards him, the Professor rotated his chair and led back down the corridor towards his office. Following him inside, Rogue slowly made her way across the plush royal blue carpet, taking a seat without his request. Simply because she didn’t feel like she’d be able to stand up much longer. She was tired, and she knew why. Charles didn’t look at all perturbed by her sudden motion to sit down; on the contrary as he stopped nearby, he was watching her with gentle eyes.
“I know what’s wrong, Rogue,” he said softly. “And no, no one told me,” he then added as he saw a frown appear on her face. “I could sense it.”
“I’m guessin’ there’s not a lot that can be done,” sighed Rogue.
“Beast is trying his hardest,” Charles assured, “but it is a very difficult illness and I’m afraid we may not be successful in finding a cure at all, let alone in time.” He leant forward slowly, “I’m deeply regretful to be bringing more bad news to you, Rogue. But I don’t want you under any illusions, this is a serious matter.”
“It’s brought me and Logan closer,” said Rogue quietly. “And that’s a good thing.. and my powers are gonna go.. I might be able to touch soon. That’s something I’ve wanted ever since I got my mutation. It’s ironic that I get what I want in the worst way possible.”
Charles lowered his gaze momentarily before looking back at her. “However, please don’t push all of us away, Rogue.”
“I know. Bobby would be unbearable, Professor. That’s why I don’t want anyone else to know. Beast, Logan and you is alright.. but no more. I don’t wanna be treated differently.”
“I’m pleased that you are taking this maturely, Rogue,” Charles said with a sad smile. “Proud of you, even.”
Rogue found a very small smile on her lips, “Logan wants to make sure I’m happy. He’s tryin’ hard, Professor.”
“I’m pleased,” replied Charles as he extended a hand to take her gloved one in a reassuring squeeze. “I’m aware you may have some bad days, whilst others aren’t so negative, but please, if you need my help, Rogue, don’t be afraid to ask.”
Rogue glanced down at his hand on hers, feeling her tears return to prick at her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she whispered as she raised her free hand to quickly wipe away the tears.
“You have nothing to apologise for,” Charles assured her firmly.
The door to his office was opened, and Beast poked his head in. As soon as his eyes located the weeping Rogue, he swiftly apologised and closed the door again. Rogue looked up, her tearful eyes staring at the doorway, “No.. Beast!” she called. The door was opened once more and Beast looked back in in question. “C’mere..” she requested gently.
Beast made his way inside, shutting the door closed behind him. He lumbered towards the pair, taking a seat besides Rogue and placing a large hand on her shoulder. “I wish it hadn’t turned out this way,” he told her softly.
“It’s not your fault,” she said gently. “I suppose I’m lucky to know before it became obvious and I didn’t know what was wrong. At least now.. I.. I can prepare.” She blinked her tearing eyes and turned her head downward to her lap.
Beast gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “Would you like me to find Logan?” he asked.
“Yeah,” Rogue answered with a shaky sniff, her hands wiping her tears from her eyelids.
“Come on then,” he said softly as he wrapped his arm about her shoulder and guided her to her feet. “Good day Charles,” he said in farewell to the Professor.
He nodded in response, “Take care, Rogue.”
Rogue gave a weak nod of response before she followed Beast out of the Professor’s office. The furry blue mutant led her down numerous corridors before they came upon Logan’s usual lurking point – the top floor balcony. “I’ve found somebody for you,” Beast called to the man. Logan quickly looked round at the voice, his eyes happening upon the tearful Rogue. Beast squeezed her in a gentle one–armed hug, “I’ll see you soon,” he said quietly, nodding his head in farewell before he stepped back into the corridor and headed off.
“Hey,” Rogue muttered as she blinked tears out of her eyes.
“C’mere, kid,” sighed Logan as he stood up from the stone wall, his arms gesturing for her to come closer. Rogue obediently moved towards him, easily sinking into his arms with a gentle sniff. She buried her face into his chest, welcoming the protective embrace he held about her. “Is it Bobby?”
Rogue blinked her eyes open gently, staring off at the gardens beyond the mansion. “I broke up with him,” she told him in a quiet voice.
Logan’s eyebrows rose in response, but he proceeded to give her a reassuring squeeze. “Because of all this?”
“Yeah.. but I didn’t tell him what was wrong. You know what he’d be like, Logan. I can’t cope with people pityin’ me all the time. I get enough of it from my mutation.”
“Well, you won’t be on your own, kid,” he assured quietly. “I’ll take care of you, right to the end.”
Rogue closed her eyes again, sighing as more tears crept free. “Thanks, Logan..”
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