Chapter 14
“I tried so hard and got so far. But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.” – Linkin Park
Logan was roused by a content warmth enveloping him in the bed, his eyes slowly blinking open to witness morning sunshine streaming in through Rogue’s bedroom window. He slowly lowered his eyes onto the body that was curled up against his torso, a mix of brown and white strands strewn over his bare chest. He carefully eased his arm backwards from Rogue’s shoulders, slowly as to not stir her, before his hand delicately pulled her hair back from her face so it didn’t obstruct her features. Having successfully moved her hair without waking her, Logan slowly lifted his gaze back towards the window, at ease in the gentle, peaceful atmosphere of the morning.
They had returned back to the mansion in the late evening, stumbling and staggering half dressed from the garage towards Rogue’s bedroom. Their clothes had been haphazardly thrown back on for mere decency as they navigated down the dark corridors, unseeingly locked in their embrace. It was astonishing no one saw them, or heard them. It was only behind her closed door did the clothes soon find themselves carelessly discarded for the second time that day.
But that had been yesterday, and today, Logan was pleased to wake up feeling content and not guilty. For the first time in a few months, everything felt right in the world. With a few gentle murmurs, he felt Rogue stir against his chest, slowly lifting her head a few inches to peer around idly. “Mornin’,” came Logan’s rough murmur, summoning her attention onto his face.
“Hey,” she whispered in reply, a lazy smile crafted across her lips. “How long have you been awake?”
“About fifteen minutes,” he responded, his eyes studying her gentle features in the morning rays.
Rogue slowly turned onto her side, a hand trailing across his chest before holding him tightly. “I hope you weren’t bored.”
“How could I be bored?” said Logan with a wry smirk, leaning down to press a kiss to her temple.
“I don’t know,” replied Rogue coyly. “There’s not much to look at in my room.”
Logan shook his head with an amused smile, “There’s plenty to look at, darlin’.” He then saw a mischievous grin flicker across her lips before she began moving, easing closing to him. “What’s this?” he asked quietly as her face drew level with his.
“Felt like sayin’ good mornin’ properly, sugar,” said Rogue with a sleepy smile, pressing her lips up against his delicately, her smile creasing the corners of her lips when she felt him respond. Logan gently pushed his lips towards her, brushing against them a few times before he finally closed his lips about hers and kissed her.
“Well,” he murmured as she relaxed back from his lips, “I can handle that. I want to say good mornin’ properly too.” He leant in to kiss her again, his arm tightening about her shoulders. One hand absently trailed down the side of the torso, following the smooth flow of her body from her chest to her thigh. Everything was about imprinting her in his mind. He never wanted to forget this morning where he was able to lay in bed and hold his Marie in his arms in the soft glow of sunlight.
Pulling back, Rogue grinned at him again. “Now, if that’s how every day starts, I’m already a very happy woman.” Logan smirked at her for a moment before he carefully lowered her back into the bed. He slowly sat up, easing himself towards the edge of the mattress. “Hey, where you goin’?” asked Rogue quickly, extending a hand out to grab his.
Logan swiftly looked round at her, then giving a smile, “You stay in bed. I’m gonna head down to the kitchen.”
Releasing his hand, Rogue rolled onto her back, coyly arching her arms over her head on the pillow. “Breakfast in bed?” she asked in an amused tone, peering up at him sleepily. “I didn’t have you pinned down as a romantic, Logan.”
“I’m not,” he replied as he leant over the bed to kiss her again, welcoming the scent of her as he drew closer. He pulled back, flashing her a grin before he pulled himself out of the bed, finding his clothing from the mix and match of his ‘n’ hers strewn over the bedroom carpet.
Pulling his leather belt into it’s designated hole, he glanced over her at and saw her watching him brazenly. He chuckled to himself as he threw his vest top on over his head. He headed towards the doorway, unhooking her dressing grown from the hook on the door, “Behave yourself while I’m gone,” he threw the attire at her playfully round the opened door before he matched her smirk and shut the door upon exiting.
Logan sauntered on down the corridor, absently hitching his jeans up by the hooks. He padded along without a sound, bare feet caressing the polished floors in silence. A hand fastened his watch about his wrist, securing the leather under the metal buckle before twisting his arm to check the time. It was right in the middle of the breakfast rush. But today, Logan felt he could handle it. The kitchen door was soon upon him, and he swung it open, ambling inside.
“Mornin’,” he greeted the room at large, the gathered staff of the mansion looking round at the entry. Storm and Beast shared surprised looks over their bowls of cereal. Logan never greeted anyone in the morning. At best, it was a primal grunt as he devoured his breakfast like he had freshly killed it.
“Good morning, Logan,” replied Storm quickly after a moment of stunned silence, soon realising her manners.
Beast glanced over, also returning the greeting before he went back to his breakfast. Logan stood at the kitchen counter, helping himself to a clean mug, which he jauntily twirled his hand with a finger looped through the handle before it was placed upon the tiled work surface. Storm and Beast shared that look again. Logan was in a surprisingly good mood.
“Have a good time last night?” muttered Scott as he deposited his bowl upon the draining board besides Logan. Logan, who had been switching on the kettle, glanced towards Scott in question. Scott turned from the worktop, leaning back against it and folding his arms across his chest. “My car was gone again. All day and all night.”
Both Storm and Beast had abandoned their breakfasts to watch the unfolding conversation, Storm hovering a spoonful of muesli a good few inches from her closed mouth in pause. Logan turned a little from the counter, his hand resting on the surface. “I took a ride out. You got a problem with that?”
“Well, yes, I do, when it’s in my car. Stop using mine for your joyrides – get your own motor.”
Logan snorted quietly at this. “It ain’t yours,” he replied. “The Professor bought it. It belongs to the mansion, not you.” The kettle clicked as it boiled, summoning Logan’s attention back towards it. “So as long as I return it in one piece, there’s absolutely nothin’ wrong with me usin’ that car.”
This successfully shut Scott up, who grimaced as though swallowing something bitter and quickly departed from the kitchen with a foul expression. Logan watched the man leave with an amused smirk weaved across his lips. He caught Storm’s eye, chuckling to himself before he turned back to the mug, stirring the boiling water into the coffee granules.
“So what did you get up to yesterday?” asked Storm innocently as she ate a spoonful of muesli. “Jubilee and Kitty had a very exciting conversation regarding it; unfortunately it was in my history class.”
Aware he was now in the company of those who knew of Rogue’s condition, he turned from the counter. “Took Rogue out,” he replied simply, shrugging a little uncertainly as he added. “We just got back a lil’ late that’s all.”
“Well, I think it’s wonderful what you’re doing for Rogue,” said Storm as she rose to her feet and made her way to the sink. “We can see how much closer the pair of you have got over these past weeks.”
Logan glanced towards her. Can you really? .. he thought wryly to himself, giving the woman a small smile before he turned to pick up the coffee mug, stirring the milk in absently. “We were close before,” he eventually murmured, his eyes remaining on the contents of the mug.
“I know you were,” said Storm with a smile, resting her hand encouragingly on Logan’s arm before she bid farewell to the mutants and left to prepare for her first class of the day. Logan deposited the spoon in the sink before he gave a nod to Beast, turning and leaving to travel through the mansion to return to Rogue’s bedroom.
Steaming mug of coffee equipped in one hand, he carefully made his way through the corridors of passing students who were milling about in the corridors since breakfast in the hall. Ascending the staircase, Logan was soon upon Rogue’s bedroom door, turning the handle and entering to see her sat at her desk. “Hey, I thought I told you to stay in bed,” he said with a smirk, pushing the door closed with his foot. He made a few steps towards her, becoming aware she hadn’t responded and her head was slumped forward. “Marie?” he called cautiously, placing the mug of coffee down on the nearest surface and moving over towards her.
Her soft lilac dressing gown had been thrown lazily about her form, the silk pooling from the chair she sat in. Arms were slumped upon the desk, her head resting upon them. Her hair was splayed upon her shoulders, ivory streaks strewn over the wood of the desk. Logan came up besides her, resting his hands on her shoulders as he carefully pulled her back from the desk. She was eased back into the chair, her head lifting ever so slightly.
“Marie?” he said softly, proceeding to crouch besides her and move her hair from her face. “You should be in the bed..” Her eyes slowly glanced towards him, his own staring up at her, transfixed as he willed for her to gain energy. “C’mon, kid.. you need to get back to bed.”
“Logan..” she said softly, Logan now recognising pure fear in her gaze.
Logan shifted on the balls of his feet anxiously, lifting his hand to her shoulder. “It’s ok, kid. I’ll carry you.” His hand had only just brushed against her shoulder when he saw her head drop down a few inches, her waning energy barely keeping her head up. At this sight he quickly stood to his feet, his arms wrapping about her as he picked her up from the chair and turned to lay her on top of the bed. “There, see,” he whispered quietly as she was placed down, “It’s ok..” He continued to brush her strands from her face, now realising that his hand was trembling. She didn’t respond this time, her head had slumped back to meet the covers, and the eyes that had been on his now gazed up at the ceiling. “Marie,” he uttered, his tone quivering. There was no response. His eyes darted around her face hurriedly, his breaths quickly becoming panicked and erratic. “No..” he whispered, “No.. things will be ok!” He quickly wrapped her dressing gown firmly around her body to keep her warm, carefully but swiftly picking her up in his arms and hurrying towards the bedroom door.
He ran out onto the corridor, cradling her limp body tightly to his chest. Reaching the landing, he sprinted towards a group of chatting students by the staircase. “Get out of my way!” he growled at them, roughly barging through them and pursuing towards the lift. A student was stood there, about to enter the silver lined walls when Logan practically threw them aside and entered the lift, pressing the button to cause the lift doors to close and descend to the lower levels. Panting, he stared down at Rogue, feeling his chest heave with terror in every breath. “It’ll be ok,” he whispered again, pulling her towards him and kissing her forehead. The lift doors obligingly parted as they reached the underground floor of the mansion but they barely had time to open when Logan ran through them, running towards the infirmary and hurriedly entering through the parting doors. “Beast!” he abruptly shouted, the furry mutant peering his head round the door from the laboratory. The man only had to see Rogue’s limp body in Logan’s arms to assess the situation; he swiftly came through, indicating for Logan to place her on the centre table.
Logan did as designated, laying her down with utmost care, but staying by her side as he gazed down into her unresponsive face. Beast was soon opposite him, his concerned eyes taking in her appearance. He gently pulled open her dressing down, remaining true to his non-judgemental profession, as he didn’t even bat an eyelid to the underwear she wore below it. His large fingers sought out the pulse at her neck, cautiously feeling around there several times. Logan could only watch as Beast swiftly moved round the infirmary, returning with items to use to help rouse Rogue. Eventually his fingers returned to her neck, a frown evident.
Logan watched anxiously, a few minutes of tense silence being broken as he abruptly spoke, “What is it?”
Beast carefully pulled his hand back from Rogue’s neck, studying Logan over the top of his glasses. “Logan..” he said softly, “We all knew it would come to this.. – “
“No!” said Logan quickly, shaking his head fiercely. “No,” he said again, louder, as though to drown Beast out. He was still shaking his head, albeit slowly, with much less energy. He turned away from Beast and Rogue, his shaking hands being forced into folded arms. A hand slowly lifted to rub against his face wearily, finishing up at his closed eyes. His stillness was brokenly after a short while as he spun out of the poignant silence and harshly smashed his fist down onto the edge of the metal table with a fierce hiss of, “Goddamnit!” Logan slowly opened his eyes, looking towards Rogue with a returned tenderness. He closed the distance by her head, staring down at her. He extended his hand towards her face, his skin cupping the soft but noticeably cool texture of her skin. “I want to save you,” he whispered to her, moving to place his other hand at her opposite cheek. “Let me heal you,” he said shakily, watched by a solemn looking Beast. Logan shook his head slowly at his fingers remained in painless contact with her flesh.
“Logan..” Beast said softly, but was cut off as Logan threw him a harsh glare.
“Shut the hell up!” he growled at him, his eyes noticeably welling in tears, his face contorted with despair and frustration.
Exhaling a soft sigh, Beast bowed his head, “I’ll leave you alone for a short while. I must inform Charles.” The mutant turned and made his exit, Logan’s eyes falling back onto Rogue’s face as the doors whirred shut behind Beast.
“I’m supposed to save you,” he told her tearfully, stroking his fingers down her face. Panting, he exhaled a shaky breath, dry sobs caught in his throat. “I’M SUPPOSED TO SAVE YOU!” he yelled out fiercely, his voice reverberating harshly around the silver walls of the medical bay. With a choked sob he turned from her, sliding down the smooth metal of the console panel until he reached the floor. His face was pressed against his folded arms atop his knees, shoulders quivering with each silent sob that racked his slumped torso.
Nothing could have prepared him for cold, harsh reality of the situation.
His beloved Marie was dead.
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