A walk. That’s all it was. A walk to catch her bus home. But she did it with a heavy heart. Her steps were quick and purposeful, and everyone that met her eyes raised a smile from her. Still, her heart was heavy. She worked as a PA for a factory company. They made car parts. She lived at the mansion as nothing more than the fiancée of a teacher and team member.
Her life, when she looked at it, was good. She had taken the cure. She could touch, be touched. She even had a tan. Bobby loved her, and last year had asked her to marry him. They had set a date for eight months time. He kissed her, loved her, held her hand, and made love to her. He was a good lover, a generous one, and she smiled at that thought.
He made her feel special. He talked to her, took an interest in her day. When she was feeling sick, he got her tissues, picked stuff up from the shop for her, and made her soup. On her birthday he gave her fantastic gifts. At Christmas he did stupid things to make her laugh.
He told her he loved her at least once a day, but these days she was never sure if he meant it anymore. She had seen him kiss Kitty in the rec room last month. Then she had listened to their whispered voices and Kitty’s soft cries when Bobby told her he wanted to marry Rogue and that their affair had to stop. She still didn’t know why she hadn’t said anything; she just let it go.
He wanted her in his life. He had chosen her, and she had loved him once. She really had, but there was just something missing now. Her mutation. She hadn’t realised how much of *her* it contained. Once the needle had sunk into her arm, all the voices in her head had stopped. There was nothing but emptiness. Eric and Logan, the only two that had clung on, had disappeared. They left her - no, she took them away. She had given away herself for some boy, just like Logan had said.
She should be very happy. They even had the Professor back. There had been a call from a hospice in central New York. He had woken up. The authorities had found him in the remains of Jean’s house. They had no idea who he was until he woke up fifteen months later and told them. He still had to have an oxygen pipe in his nose for at least twelve hours a day, and his abilities were nowhere near his old level. But at least he was there.
She wasn’t part of the team, but she kept on training with Bobby, sometimes Logan or Scott. She could fight with the best of them but never went with them. She always stayed at home, waited, bit her nails, and wished he came home ok.
Every now and then, she would get guilty because when they got off the Bird, Bobby’s was not the face she looked for. She denied how she felt about Logan, pushed it away and settled for their easy friendship, concentrating on being with Bobby.
Once, when they first started having sex, she had imagined Logan’s face when she begged Bobby to go harder and closed her eyes, holding onto him when she came apart in his arms. She had cried after, feeling guilty; she didn’t ever want to do it again for fear she would never stop doing it. But she couldn’t help herself. Nearly every time she made love to Bobby, the only way she could climax was if she thought about Logan. She felt ashamed about it, but in a way liked the small triumph: he really had cheated, but she was only imagining it.
But Bobby was the one she was with. She did love him; it just wasn’t in the same league as Logan. She stayed with Bobby. She felt like she had to, and any feelings that she had towards Logan stayed hidden and denied. Pushed away, along with her mutation.
She shook herself and carried on walking to the bus station. When a small man stepped out from the shadows, she jumped and put her hand over her heart. He put his hands in the air.
“Sorry, miss. Didn’t mean to make you jump. Just wondered if you needed a hit?” Taking in his appearance, she had to admit he didn’t look like a drug dealer, but then again, he didn’t look like a model citizen either.
“No, thanks. I don’t…do that.” She went to walk off, but he stood in front of her.
“I know who you are.” She stepped back, her heart racing, hating the fact that it made her feel alive. “You were in the ‘cure’ line, right in front of me. I remember your hair.”
“I didn’t see you, sorry.” She kept still, unsure of what to do. “I have to catch my bus.” She smiled and walked past him
He called after her, “You won’t want this, then?” He held up a small vial of clear liquid, and she stopped, her curiosity getting the better of her. “You see, now we have taken the cure, we’re registered as cured. Take this, and you’re cured of the cure.”
“Excuse me?” He couldn’t possibly mean…
“Brings it all rushing back. Takes about 12 hours - a little more sometimes, but it works like a charm.” He wiggled the vial for emphasis. “Your skin, if I remember: you’ll be deadly again in no time.”
She was breathing heavily and trembling. She honestly hadn’t realised how much she wanted it back. Now, here, she had the chance, but there must be a catch or a price. Nothing was that simple.
“How much?” He smiled at her, and she saw he had gold teeth.
“Five ‘k.”
She did a quick calculation in her head. “I only have $4600. I don’t have a car or anything else I could sell.” God, was she really doing this. What would they all say? What would Bobby do? Would he still want to touch her, be with her, or would he run to Kitty? What would Logan say? She would be the ‘kid’ again.
He nodded. “I’ll take it. Here tomorrow at nine.” He turned to walk away.
“Wait. How do I know it’s genuine?”
“You don’t.” He walked away, and this time she let him.
She stood there in the alley for what seemed like an eternity before she moved off again. Her mind was blank. All she could think about was that small vial of liquid.
She sat on the bench at the bus stop staring at her hands. What would it mean to have it back, to be trapped in her skin again? Would the voices come back?
It would mean she was herself. It would mean she was whole again. She could stop lying to herself about how *perfect* her life was.
Half an hour later she realised that she had missed her bus. She briefly considered waiting an hour for the next one, but it was getting dark, so she decided against it. She rummaged in her bag and got her phone out, dialling the mansion from memory.
“Hello, Xavier’s School for the Gifted, Katherine speaking. How can I help you?”
She rolled her eyes at Kitty’s answer. It wasn’t that she didn’t like her, she just couldn’t get rid of the image of her and Bobby. She’d never told either of them that she’d seen them skating that night or kissing last month. It all seemed easier that way.
“Hey, Kit-Kat. Can you grab Bobby for me? I missed my bus home.”
“Sure.” There was a long pause, and then she heard his voice on the other end, but it wasn’t the voice she expected.
“Hey, kid, what’s up?” Her heart skipped in her chest, and she couldn’t suppress her bright smile, kicking herself for having that reaction to him every time. Stupid hormones.
“I missed my bus, and I need a ride. I asked Kitty to find Bobby for me.”
“I’ll pick you up.” And the line went dead. No chance for her to say ‘No, no don’t worry,’ or even ‘What about Bobby?’.
Twenty minutes later the big hulk that was Logan’s truck pulled up in front of her. He leaned across and pushed open her door. She smiled and jumped in.
He spun the tyres as he pulled out. She looked at him, amused. “Are we late for something?”
He smirked sexily. “Sorry, darlin’, habit. Anyway, wouldn’t want to keep you away from Iceman for too long.”
“Yeah.” She looked out of the window, still trying to process the last hour.
“You ok?...Kid…Hello in there…MARIE!” She jumped out of her skin.
“What? GOD, you don’t have to shout your fucking head off at me! Jesus!”
“What’s up?” He sounded annoyed and concerned.
“Nothing, I’m fine. Just tired.”
“Liar.”
She snapped at him. “Ok, so I have a few things on my mind. That’s allowed, you know.”
“Wanna talk about it?” She smiled again. He was sweet. He would never admit it, and she probably would never tell him. But he was.
“Not really, but I do need a favour.”
“Shoot.”
“I wanna work late tomorrow. Can I borrow the truck? Save me waiting around late for the bus.”
He looked at her in between watching the road. She knew he was checking her scent, sussing her out. She wasn’t lying: she did want to work late tomorrow. There was a pile of filing she needed to catch up with and getting a head start on the week’s invoices would be a help. So no lie - just omitting what she planned to do after.
“Sure. You scratch it, you pay for it. And don’t drink in here again. It took a week to get the milkshake off the seat last time.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know. Christ, anyone would think I was asking to borrow your girlfriend.”
He laughed. “I don’t have a girlfriend, just acquaintances.” They both laughed at that.
They pulled into the garage, and he was about to get out of the truck when she put her hand on his arm to stop him. “Do I…I mean, am I…? Never mind.” She turned to get out the other side, but he reached past her and grabbed the door, stopping her.
“Tell me what’s wrong. I know you, and something’s up.” She looked at him, wanting desperately to tell him about the alley-man, but she knew he would think she was crazy. Would he stop her, help her? She just didn’t know. So she went for half the truth.
“Do I smell different? You know, now that I have no mutation. I’ve kind of been thinking about it a lot recently. My mutation, I mean, not the way I smell.”
He nodded and sat back a little. “Yeah. A little different. Before…” he shrugged, “you smelt a little bit like burning oak wood, cinnamon maybe.” He saw the face she pulled and continued, smiling. “Don’t look like that. It’s kinda nice. You can burn oak to smoke salmon and other fish and meat. It makes it taste fantastic.” He briefly wondered whether her skin would have tasted just as good.
“And now?” He noticed the way she bit her lip. He knew what that meant - his answer was important. He decided to tell her the complete truth and hope it helped her.
“Now, skin, bone, blood. Just normal smells really. Your shampoo. Moisturiser when you use it, which isn’t very often. I get honey off you sometimes, and…any woman, when you’ve been with someone a while - you pick up a little of their scent.” She wondered if he could smell Kitty on Bobby, but decided she couldn’t face the answer.
“So I just smell normal, like a normal human being?” Secretly liking the fact he took notice of what she smelled like.
“Yeah. Seconds thoughts?”
“Let’s just say hindsight’s a wonderful thing.” She shook her head and smiled at him. “It’s just frustration. I hate waiting around for you guys to get back, panicking that something’s happened to…” She looked at the floor, unable to meet his eyes because she’d nearly said ‘you’. “To Bobby. I can’t do anything, I feel useless.”
After a minute or two of silence, it was obvious Logan didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry, I know it’s selfishness…I--”
“Marie, you’re not selfish.”
She cut him off. “I am, I know I am. Everyone has had his or her own shit to deal with because of what happened, and the last two years have been hard on everyone. Especially you. The only relief from that was finding the Professor, and here I am moaning because I got what I wanted. And it is what I wanted, Logan, honestly. But it’s just not what I expected.”
“What did you expect?” His voice was so calm and understanding. He truly was the only one she could really talk to.
“That everyone would still be there.” Her voice was a sad whisper.
He looked a little confused. “We are still here.”
She smiled and tapped the side of her head. “I mean *here*. It was almost immediate. One minute you were growling at me, Eric cussing, and the next nothing. For the first time in I don’t how long, I’m alone. That’s why I’m selfish, Logan: I have all these wonderful people around me, a man who adores me and wants to marry me, a home and a good job. I get to touch, kiss, hold hands, have sex. But it’s not enough. I miss it, being special, different, and getting that stupid buzz I used to get in the shower.” She closed her eyes and rubbed them.
“What buzz?” He could think of a few buzzes you could get in the shower.
She let out a nervous giggle. “When I used to take a really hot shower, it used to make my skin buzz, like it was trying to draw off the water. It felt kinda good, like afterglow.” She blushed, sure he knew what she meant
He’d had no idea that she felt any of this. That she regretted getting the cure. In a way, he was pleased. Her skin should never have been an issue for her or Bobby. He knew that Bobby was the reason she had done it, and now she felt lost. Kicking himself, he should have noticed sooner. But she was right they had all had their own demons to deal with.
“There’s nothing wrong with how you feel. You’re not selfish. All of us feel like that sometimes. You can’t help it. Grass is always greener, darlin’.”
“But there’s shit in every field, right?” He laughed, and so did she, feeling a little better for getting it all out. He took the keys out of the ignition and gave them to her. “Thanks, sugar.” She didn’t just mean for the keys, and he knew it.
He winked at her and got out of the truck. She followed him in and headed straight up the stairs to her room. Well, it was technically her and Bobby’s room; he had moved in with her. She put Logan’s keys on the desk and stripped off for a shower.
She didn’t say anything to Bobby, skipped dinner, and went to bed. The next morning, she kissed him goodbye and went off to work in Logan’s truck. During her lunch break, she went to the ATM and drained her savings account. She knew that Bobby would never question where the money had gone, because he didn’t know about it. It was in her real name. She had been saving for a rainy day. Looking at the sunny sky, she laughed to herself.
After having a good day at work, she had every intention of going home at 5pm. But she stayed, sorted through the filing, started the invoices, and tidied up her desk. At twenty minutes to nine, she left the office and walk through the back alley to Logan’s truck. The cure man was there waiting for her.
“Didn’t think you were gonna show. Got my money?” He really could use a bath. Maybe he needed the money to live. That would be a good excuse to give it to him. She reached into her handbag and pulled out a white envelope.
“You can count it if you want.” He flicked trough the notes and then handed her a small metal box, like a pencil case. She opened it and saw the vial of liquid and a sterile, wrapped needle. “I have to inject it.”
“Yeah, like you would a drug. Into a vein. Draw a drop of blood out, and then push the whole lot in.” He smiled and showed off his golden teeth. “Welcome to the revolution.”
With that, he disappeared down the alley. She ran to Logan’s truck and locked the doors when she got in, sitting there staring at the pencil case, resisting the urge to cry. For what, she had no idea. Tension, relief, fear? She had no idea.
She put it in her bag and zipped it up. She had no idea what she was doing. This was completely crazy. She was out of control. She was lying to her fiancé. Christ, she’d even lied to Logan, and she never did that, no matter what the situation.
When she got home, the first thing she did was put the metal box at the back of her underwear drawer. She shut the drawer and then opened it again to look at the box. She shut it again, let go of the handle, and stepped back.
The door made her jump.
“Hey, didn’t know you were back. Good day?” He kissed her on the cheek and wound his arms around her from behind.
“Yeah, got a lot done. You ok?”
“Mmmm.” He was kissing the back of her neck and sliding his hands under her white shirt to grope her breasts. She turned around and kissed him, letting him slowly peel her clothes off her. She imagined Logan’s rough hands on her breasts, his hard muscular body weighing her down, his finger finding her folds and eliciting moans from her lips. She imagined it was Logan who entered her and made love to her. Letting the feel of him ease the guilt and only realising when it was over that it made it worse.
It went on like that for a whole month - waking up in the morning and deciding to do it that day. Then she would open the drawer. Something always stopped her. Helping Scott teach the kids swimming, shopping with Jubes and Kitty or making love to Bobby while thinking of another. Even greeting a new client at work, shaking their hand, and not having to explain why she had gloves on.
The next month went a little differently. She actually got the box out and opened it, taking it into the bathroom with her a couple of times. The first time Jubes bounced in and whisked her off to dinner, and the second time she simply lost her nerve and replaced the box back in her drawer.
She dreamed about it. Vivid images of injecting herself. She woke in the middle of the night, hot, sweaty, scared and looked longingly at her drawer. On the outside she was just the same: happy, normal. On the inside she was so conflicted, her stomach knotted whenever she thought about it, and she had a headache most days from over-thinking her situation.
Only Logan seemed to notice she wasn’t right. He asked her several times if she was ok. Apparently, she smelled tense, and she always assured him that she was fine, just wedding jitters. By the end of the second month, she was ready to get it over with.
It was Saturday. She was in her room, siting on the bed, just about to pull out the box, when Bobby came in.
“Hey, what you doing?”
She thought quickly and pulled out a bra. “Just changing my undies.”
“Why?”
“This one doesn’t go with my top, makes it uncomfy.” She smiled as sweetly as she could muster.
“Ok. Are you coming to the bar tonight? I know earlier you said you didn’t fancy it?”
“Um, yeah ok. Are we all going?”
“Me, you, Jubes, Pete, Logan and ‘Ro. Kitty’s staying with the Professor and the kids. Wish Hank would come sometimes, but he never does. Seems like ages since we all went out for a good drink.”
“That’s because it’s been ages.” The last time had been when they found the Professor.
“I’m taking six students into town for books and stuff. Will you come with me?”
“Sure, I’ll meet you downstairs in a sec.” She waved the bra at him and went into the bathroom. When she heard the door bang a minute later, she ran to her drawer and took the box back into the bathroom with her.
She took out the needle and unwrapped it, setting it on the counter next to the vial. She was wearing a long-sleeved t-shirt. Rolling up the arm, she noticed she was shaking. She drew all the liquid into the needle and positioned it next to her vein. She put it down and took a few deep breaths, running her hand through her hair and then laughing at her ‘Logan’ mannerism.
“Ok, I can do this. I want to do this.” She smacked her vein a couple of times to bring it up, then put the needle to her skin and pushed. “Small scratch my ass!” She drew back, waited until a small amount of blood went into the needle, watching with fascination as it clouded with the liquid. Then she pushed it all in. It felt cold and hurt more when she took the needle out.
Putting the needle and vial back in the box, she put it in her drawer again. She stood there for a second. Nothing. She felt absolutely nothing. Looking at her clock, it was quarter past eight. So twelve hours would be tonight. She grabbed her jacket and headed out to meet Bobby, hoping it would be an easy transition.
The day went by ok. The kids got the books and school supplies that they wanted. She walked along with Bobby’s arm around her. Her stomach aching in guilt. She would ruin everything they had, and he probably would hate her for it. Was she giving him enough credit? Maybe he would be fine, accept her decision, and get on with life. But then again, hadn’t he already ruined everything, betrayed her trust first?
By evening, she had almost forgotten about it. But only almost. She changed into a long-sleeved green shirt with a thick collar. She put on her black jeans that had diamonds down the legs, and her black sling-backs. A little make-up, her hair loose and a bit wavy.
It was gone 8 o’clock already, and nothing had happened. She resigned herself to the fact that it wasn’t going to. What was she thinking, doing this without even talking to anyone? She should have known. She’d wasted nearly five grand on a vial of water.
She raced down the stairs and was stopped at the bottom by a group of impatient mutants waiting for her.
“What? So I’m late, sue me!” The others laughed, and Bobby put his arm around her shoulder. She noticed the way Logan eyed him. It made her smile: he cared. Not the way she’d wanted him to when she was younger, but he cared.
She wobbled on her feet slightly. “Hey, you ok?” She smiled at her man.
“Yeah, I think I flew down the stairs a bit quick. Feel a…a little dizzy.”
Her head suddenly felt really bad, splintering pain in her temples and through her eyes. She pinched her nose and groaned. The others were about to go out the door, but stopped, concerned about her. ‘Ro stepped forward and then spoke to Jubes.
“She doesn’t look so good. Go get Hank.” Jubes ran off down the corridor.
Her breathing was coming in short rasps. She felt sick, dizzy, and she thought her head was going to explode. “I think I’m gonna pass out.” She wobbled again; Bobby caught one arm and Logan the other to stop her from falling.
The pain was getting horrendous, and she was struggling to stay standing. It was becoming too much. She felt a warm trickle of liquid come out the end of her nose and down her lips. Blood. She was going to die. She knew it: she had poisoned herself. How stupid could she be?
“Logan…” She yelped in pain and shot backwards. Bobby and Logan only just lowered her to the floor as she started to fit, her eyes rolled into the back of her head, body jerking wildly and blood pouring out of her nose. She could hear Logan calling for Hank to help her as she lost consciousness.
The first thing she noticed was the soft growling. Thinking it was strange--because why would Logan be growling at her?-- and then she realised it was in her head. She wanted to smile, but felt too weak. She could sense and smell who was in the room; it was only vague, but enough.
Slowly opening her eyes, she was greeted by the bright lights of the med lab. She could feel the oxygen tubes in her nose and the drip in her arm. She could also feel the full-length gown, socks, and latex gloves.
“Shit.” Her voice was croaky, and her throat hurt.
“That’s one way to put it. How are you feeling?” The Professor wheeled into her line of vision.
She sat up shakily and looked around the room. ‘Ro was stood behind Xavier’s chair, Bobby, Scott and Jubes a little farther back. Bobby was frowning with his arms crossed over his chest. Hank was fussing about with monitors and such, and Logan stood with his hands resting in the loops of his belt, leaning casually against the far wall, unlit cigar in the corner of his mouth. He was wearing gloves. Again she wanted to smile but didn’t.
“Well, I’m guessing this is what I would feel like if I got hit by a bus.” This time she did smile weakly and looked at Bobby, who just looked plain livid. She bit her lip.
“Hank found a small puncture hole in your arm, from an injection. And Robert found this.” He held up the small metal box from her underwear drawer.
She looked at the floor and sighed. “I have some explaining to do then.” Hank handed her a glass of water, and she smiled at him. “Thanks.”
“Where did you get it?” Xavier’s voice was calm, but she knew he must be angry with her. There was so much tension in the room; Logan must be able to feel it, too.
“I was approached. A guy who took the cure the same time as me. I got it from him. Two months ago.”
Bobby stepped forward, she knew he would be angry. “Two months! You’ve had that for two months, and you never said anything? Why? Why the hell didn’t you talk to one of us, to me? Why didn’t you discuss this with *me*? We’re getting married in six months. Six months, Rogue, and you do this. Did you pay for it? Out of our money, the money we’ve been saving to get married? Did you?!”
“No, no.” Bobby turned immediately to Logan.
“Is she lying?” Logan looked at her and then at Bobby.
“No.” He was strangely quiet, and it made her nervous. He must be so angry with her. She wasn’t sure if she could cope with him being angry with her. She met his eyes, and the corners of his mouth tugged up into a sly smile. Then to her shock, he winked at her. Realising he wasn’t in the slightest bit angry, she resisted the urge to smile back.
“Robert, please calm down.” Xavier turned back to Rogue. “He does have a good point: why didn’t say anything?”
She could feel her emotions bubbling to the surface, and she knew that sooner or later she would cry. “I don’t know. I wanted to, but I…I was scared you would all think I was selfish or ungrateful. I knew it would spoil a lot of things. I had to make the decision on my own.”
“What, like you did the first time? So the whole ‘This is me’ speech was what? A load of crap? We…how are we…? I can’t, I…I can’t deal with this.” Bobby turned to leave, but he stopped when she spoke.
“Bobby, wait, please. It wasn’t crap, it is what I wanted, but it wasn’t right. Once it was done, it felt wrong, like I wasn’t me anymore. I just lived it, not realising how unhappy I was. Then I got the chance to have it back, to have me back.” The tears started to slip down her face. Jubes picked up some tissues and sat on the gurney next to her. Rogue smiled at her and took one. Jubes was like Logan: she never cared about her skin. Their friendship was more important.
“To have you back, right, of course. Because it’s all about you, isn’t it? So what are you gonna do when it all gets too much again? When you feel trapped again because you can’t touch? What are you gonna do then?”
“We help her through it.” Logan spoke but never raised his head or moved, just carried on inspecting his boots.
Bobby turned to him, his anger spilling over. “Yeah, and what are you gonna do? Put her out of her misery?”
Logan moved before anyone could think, punching Bobby high on his face and knocking him down. Hank pushed Logan away from Bobby, and ‘Ro helped Bobby up. Scott stood still, making no attempt to stop Logan or assist Bobby, obviously wishing he had punched him as well. The crack had obviously been about Jean’s last moments.
Rogue got off the bed. She tried to touch the broken skin above Bobby’s eye, but he shrugged away from her touch. “DON’T!”
“I have gloves…”
“It was never about the gloves, Rogue. It never bothered me. But now, now I’ve had you—us—like this for three years. It’s going to bother me now. I can’t deal with it.” With that, he walked out of the med lab, giving Logan and Scott a wide berth.
Logan shrugged off ‘Ro and stood there still fuming at Bobby. He turned to Scott. “You alright?” Scott nodded, looking at the floor, barely containing his emotions.
As Rogue began to cry, Jubes ran over and hugged her. The Professor broke the silence, “I think that’s enough high emotion for everyone. Jubilation, Logan, will you take Rogue back to her room? We can discuss the full ramifications of this later on.”
Logan took two steps and was next to Rogue. He swung his arms under her and picked her up into his arms, easily avoiding her skin. She snuggled into his chest and sobbed openly. She’d never expected it to be this hard to just want to be herself; she honestly hadn’t thought Bobby wouldn’t want her anymore. She knew that her feelings for him didn’t run *that* deep, but she felt so rejected.
In the elevator on the way up, her sobbing stopped and her breathing eased as she fell asleep in Logan’s arms, silently clinging to him. Jubes stroked her hair and sighed.
“She’s gonna need you.” Jubes looked at Logan, slightly surprised by his words.
“Dude, she’s gonna need both of us.” He nodded.
As they reached her room, Bobby was coming out with a small bag. He looked at Logan and scowled as he strode past. He opened the door to Pete’s room, walked in, and slammed it shut. Logan could understand the guy being angry, but he didn’t have to behave like a spoilt brat and hurt Marie.
Rogue jumped awake in Logan’s arms. “What…?” She was a little dazed, and he sat her down on the edge of her bed, kneeling in front of her. She wiped her face and smiled at him.
He took his glove off, wiggled his hand in front of her, and smirked. “Need a hit?” She let out a sharp, genuine laugh.
“That’s what got me into this mess. I’ll be fine, thanks for the offer, sugar.” He smiled as he walked out the door and left her with Jubes.
The next couple of weeks were really hard. Bobby avoided her like she had the plague. It was obviously over. She knew it and so did he, but one of them had to actually say it. She had cornered him in the kitchen on the third day and asked him to talk to her. He had simply picked up his coffee and walked out.
She felt guilty, but at the same time kept thinking - why should she feel guilty about him? She decided to leave him well alone. He would talk to her when he was ready. That night she made phone calls, basically cancelling the wedding and getting the bridal companies to refund their deposits to Bobby’s account; she didn’t want any of it. She needed a clean break, a fresh start, and it made her feel liberated somehow.
She started training again with Scott and Logan, building her strength. After a few very successful DR sessions, Scott suggested she join the team and said he would speak to Xavier about it. Logan objected but was told unceremoniously to keep his nose out. If she was ever going to be herself again, she needed to make her own decisions. He agreed but didn’t give up trying to talk her out of it.
Jubilee or Logan were never too far away from her, but she refused when he offered to sit with her while she had a big talk with the Professor. It was about time she faced him on her own.
Xavier started off by apologising for not seeing the distress that she was in. He said that the last three years had been especially hard for everyone, but that once he had returned to the school, he should have taken some time to talk to her about her decision.
Then he made it clear that he was disappointed she hadn’t discussed it with anyone. He pointed out that everyone, no matter what their opinion of the cure, would support her because they are her friends, and none of them would have judged her as harshly as she seemed to believe. He could understand Bobby’s point of view, although he did want to speak to him about his attitude. After all they had to live under he same roof, and if she was going to join the team as Scott suggested, they would have to work together and trust one another.
He was also disappointed that she had got the serum illegally, that she had been completely irresponsible by injecting herself with something that had been untested and could just as easily have killed her. He simply couldn’t believe that she would have such total disregard for her own safety. The soft growling in the back of her mind agreed.
After nearly two hours of listening to him calmly chastise her, she was ready to get the hell out of there. Walking into the kitchen, she found Logan making coffee. He smiled at her as she sat down.
“Want some, darlin’?” He had been calling her darlin’ more often lately. She had been calling him sugar more often too, flashing her best smile his way.
“Yeah, thanks.” He set a steaming mug of black liquid in front of her and sat down as well.
“How’d it go?”
“Well, let’s see…” She held up her hand and started counting on her fingers. “He’s disappointed I didn’t talk to anyone. I’m reckless in regard to my own safety. People wouldn’t have judged me so harshly. I did something illegal and irresponsible, etc. etc., yada yada yada…He did apologise though.”
“What for?” He sipped his coffee and grimaced at the bitter taste.
“Not spotting my distress and not taking more of an interest in my original decision.” Logan nodded, staring at his coffee mug. “I’m kinda surprised that you haven’t said anything about it yet. Not like you to keep your opinion to yourself.” He looked at her briefly, then turned his attention back to his mug. “Logan?”
He shrugged. “What ya want me to say? I let you go in the first place.” She drew her eyebrows together in confusion.
“So what, because you let me go, it’s somehow your fault, and therefore you don’t have a right to comment?”
“Something like that.” He still hadn’t looked at her.
“Logan that’s bull.” He got up and dumped his mug in the sink, keeping his back to her. “I made my choice, and it had to be my choice. You said at the time don’t do it for some boy, and I honestly didn’t think I was. But I did. I did it for him. Once I had that, him, I somehow realised it wasn’t worth it. Nothing was worth ruining who I am. You were right.”
He turned to face her, smiling because she had finally admitted why she took the cure.
She got up and put her mug in the sink as well, standing close to him as she did it and revelling in the heat he gave off. “I’m gonna go try and talk to Bobby again. Get it over with.” She turned to leave.
He grabbed her upper arm to stop her. “You still gonna marry him?” She could have sworn he looked nervous. He let his grip ease but didn’t let her go. She felt warmth rush through her system at his touch. Damn her hormones again.
“No, I can’t, not now. I just somehow have to tell him that. Don’t think he’ll mind too much. I’m not exactly his favourite person right now. Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Did you know about Kitty?” She could tell by the way he slammed his eyes shut and sighed, that yes, he did know.
“Darlin’, I…” Their thoughts were interrupted by a call from the Professor, asking them to go to the briefing room straight away.
“Guess it will have to wait.”
Half an hour later, ‘Ro, Scott, Logan and Rogue were suited up and driving the X-SUV towards the docks. There was teenage mutant, just come into his powers and already being hounded by FoH.
When they arrived, ‘Ro and Scott went to search through the vast amount of metal containers looking for the boy, while Logan and Rogue searched near the water.
“Do you think it could *be* any darker?” He turned to smirk at her.
“I can see fine, darlin’.” His enhanced eyesight was perfect for this kind of pick-up. “Stick close. Keep your eyes open so you don’t miss anything.”
She wanted to say ‘Good for you’ but as she turned around to check behind them, she forgot about her wisecrack and thought of another. “What, like the five guys sneaking up behind us?”
He whizzed round and stood next to her ready for anything. The five FoH members were right behind them, about nine feet away. He couldn’t understand why he hadn’t picked up their scents. Then he caught the smell of mint; it masked nearly any scent, making it almost impossible to smell past it.
“You fuckers been doing your homework.” He snarled out his words.
One of them spoke to Logan, his tone filled with obvious hatred. “You will die with the rest of your kind.”
Rogue rolled her eyes. “Cliché much!” Logan glanced at Rogue, and she was already in fighting stance, her scent giving only a hint of nervousness and a little fear. He thought, ‘Good, if she wasn’t afraid then she was crazy.’
“I’ll take the two on the right.” Her voice was barely a whisper, knowing that only Logan would hear her. He grunted a response the she would take as a yes, and then all hell broke loose.
‘Ro and Scott were over the other side of the dock by now, weaving their way through the tall metal maze of transporter crates. They had reached the boy who was unconscious, obviously drugged, and Scott had him over his shoulder. They heard the fight break out and started running back to help their friends. ‘Ro took the boy and flew him to the SUV, while Scott raced to Logan and Rogue.
Rogue had taken the two on the right, leaving Logan the other three. He had already dispatched one of them into unconscious oblivion and was having a little more trouble with the last two. Charles had expressly said no killing, which meant no claws, and he wasn’t particularly on board with that, but he had given his word.
Fighting with the two men she got one out of the way and turned to another. She smiled and beckoned him forward with her hand. She was enjoying herself; letting her recently-returned inner-Logan out to play was lots of fun. This was what she wanted. This was the excitement, the thrill she was missing, the feeling of being in charge of her life, and what she did with it.
Her opponent pulled out a knife from his ankle and flashed it towards her. She backed away and tried to kick it from him. She missed, and he swiped her elbow, leaving a small nick. Swearing, she turned and ran down the jetty with some scaffolding at the end. She was hoping to use the scaffolding as some kind of cover from the knife.
Grabbing a scaffold pole and swinging herself around it, she caught him in the head, but he wasn’t on the ground for long. He grabbed her hair and hit her head against the pole. She cried out and stumbled backwards. Now in the middle of the scaffolding, she hopped up, grabbed a bar above her, and swung her legs towards him, getting both boots in his chest. He flew back into a stabiliser pole, knocked out instantly.
The weight of the man caused the whole structure to wobble. Rogue fought to keep her balance but failed. “OH SHIT!” She, the scaffolding, and a small amount of the wooden jetty toppled into the water.
Logan heard her call out. Punching his last assailant out in a heartbeat, he turned to see the whole scaffolding structure fall into the water, taking her and the unconscious FoH member with it.
As he raced towards the jetty, the guy Rogue had knocked down earlier caught him from behind, taking him down. “Not now, bub!” It took him a good minute to knock him out. He reached the end of the jetty just as ‘Ro flew down, and Scott ran up to him.
“Rogue’s down there!” He didn’t stop to explain; he just dove into the water.
He swam down, his heart racing and his blood pumping wildly in his ears. Seeing the haphazard pile of poles, he grabbed what he could and pulled them out of the way. Rogue was trapped under the last one, it had a concrete slab cemented at both ends, pinning her underneath it. She was conscious and grabbing at him. He could hear her heartbeat: it was slowing, and he was on the verge of panicking. He couldn’t shift it on his own, even with his strength; the water was making everything unbalanced. He couldn’t swipe at it with his claws because he would hit her with them.
He gestured to her that he was going back up. She nodded, but he could see she was petrified. He reached the surface and shouted at Scott to help him, gulping a lung-full of air he dove down again, with Scott close behind.
They reached her together. Her arms had stopped flailing about, and her face was still and vacant. Scott got a grip on the last pole and started tugging at it. Logan ripped his glove off and put his hands on Rogue face and cursed in his head—the water must act like some kind of barrier. He helped Scott tug the pole out of the way, and they released her.
As Logan floated up with her in front of him, he put his lips to hers desperately and breathed into her mouth, letting his breath fill her lungs. Hearing her faint heartbeat was like listening to his favourite music.
It was the most sensual kiss he had ever experienced - because of the emotion it held, because of the consequence, the meaning if it didn’t work. This truly was the kiss of life. Her life, the most precious thing he had ever encountered.
He felt her small hands clasp at the back of his jacket, sinking her delicate fingers into the leather. Her lips were soft, and he pressed them eagerly to his. His heart lifted, and he opened his eyes. She did, too. Feeling Logan kissing her was more than surreal. She held onto him as her lungs inflated with air. He enjoyed the glow of the water around them, casting a seductive light in her eyes. His hand wove more seductively into her hair; he couldn’t resist letting his tongue into her mouth as he felt her respond, only breaking the kiss as they reached the surface.
They helped her onto the dock, and she gulped for air and coughed, ‘til her breathing got back to normal. They all stumbled, wet and weary, back to the SUV. The boy was still in the back asleep, completely oblivious to his rescuers’ efforts and personal dramas.
Hank had checked the new boy over, and Scott had taken him off to the Professor’s office for the ‘Welcome’ speech. Hank started checking Rogue. She had changed into sweats and a baggy sweater, but had to take the sweater off so that Hank could check her lungs and stomach for seawater.
He gave her a solution of salt with something else mixed in, to make her sick and get any water out of her lungs and stomach. She had no idea what was in it, all she knew was it kept making her puke! She was coming back out of the bathroom for the third time when Logan came in.
“How ya doing, darlin’?” He was still in his uniform, obviously just come down from filling in the Professor. She tried to ignore how good he looked in skin-tight leather.
“Oh peachy!” She wiped her mouth and sat down on the exam table again. Logan got her some water from the sink and offered it to her. She took it with a smile, briefly remembering their underwater kiss. She wasn’t going to mention it if he didn’t. He was just saving her life; anything else that may have been there was just her imagination.
“Marie, that was close tonight.” Her skin was normally a little pale, but now she looked almost translucent from being sick so much.
She sighed; she knew what was coming. “Logan, you’re not gonna give me the you- shouldn’t-be-on-the-team speech again, are you? Because unless you forgot, it didn’t work the last three times you tried it.”
“This wasn’t just cuts and bruises.” At that moment, Bobby came rushing into the room looking almost as pale as Rogue.
“Scott just told me what happened. He said you nearly drowned.” He reached to touch her hand, but she moved it, so he tucked her hair behind her ear instead. Logan nearly growled at the assumed intimacy of him. How dare he touch her after what he had said?
“I’m fine.” She shook her head at them both.
“Rogue, this is serious. Maybe you should re-think being on the team.” She looked at Logan, who just raised his eyebrow at her as if to say, ‘Told you so’.
“Do the two of you think I’m incompetent? That I don’t deserve a place on this team?” They both shook their heads, somehow knowing that any answer they gave her was going to be wrong and cause her to lose it even more than they guessed she was about to.
She put both her hands up and sighed, jumping off the table and moving to get her sweater. She roughly shoved it over her head and turned to face them both. She was so fed up with being treated like a little kid. They were both the same, and it had pissed her off once too often. She was different now. She truly was stronger, and she had finally had enough of overprotective men.
“OK, both of you need ta listen because I’m not going to repeat myself.” Both men briefly looked at each other and then back to Rogue. She pointed her finger at Logan first. “YOU need to realise that I’m not a 17-year-old runaway who needs a hero anymore. I can take care to myself. The times when I can’t, well, that’s why we’re a team.” She turned to Bobby. “And you, so need to let go. Unless you hadn’t notice, and I’m kinda sorry I never actually said it, but we are so over. Which means fine, come check on me, ‘cause I’m still your friend, but I’m not a child or some kind of china-fucking-doll. Stop with the touchy-touchy crap!”
With that, she turned on her heel and stormed out, leaving them to shuffle their feet and look guilty. Bobby wandered off, leaving Logan to think. He had no idea what was going on. He had kissed her. Not breathing air into her. He had kissed her, properly. Why? He just couldn’t understand it. She was his friend, and they had never been anything more. He would just forget it. She hadn’t said anything, and so he wouldn’t either.
Four hours later, Rogue was sitting in the garden on the edge of the fountain. “What’re you doing out here at this time of night?” She jumped when Logan put his hand on her shoulder; she had never heard him coming.
“Jesus! You gave me a heart attack.” He sat down next to her. He smirked at her, and she laughed. “I’m drinking some rather strong coffee in an attempt to get the taste of Hank’s up-chuck solution out of my mouth. Why? What’re you doing?”
“Looking for you.”
She sighed. “Sorry about shouting earlier. Just fed up with everyone thinking I’m a kid.” She watched him light up a cigar.
“Yeah, I didn’t notice.” She laughed at his sarcasm. Smoke drifted out between his lips as he spoke, and she found herself mesmerised by the shape of them, remembering how they felt pressed against hers. “I’m the one who’s sorry. You’re not a liability or incompetent, and you more than deserve a place on the team. I just—I don’t got much in the way of people. You’re it, darlin’.”
He was looking directly into her eyes, perfect blazing hazel diluted and softened by her deep brown ones. “Nothing…nothing happens to you. I’m also sorry about the whole cure situation and Kitty. I could sense you weren’t happy, but all the time you were with Bobby, I thought, at least you were safe.”
She stood up and moved in front of him, in between his legs. She rubbed the palm of her gloved hand against his cheek, briefly brushing her thumb over his lips. “Thank you.” He smiled and kissed her palm. He raised his hands to her hips and held them there. He was looking at her with an amount of intensity she hadn’t experienced before, and she was, for a split second, lost in his eyes. “Night.”
“Night, darlin.” Logan stayed there a little longer once she was gone, left with his confused feelings about a young woman who was meant to be his friend, but slowly making his stomach knot with anticipation and his heart melt.
She walked back to her room with a smile on her lips, but calling herself an idiot. She wasn’t supposed to feel like this about Logan. He was her friend. But then again, he had always been so much more; she just never accepted it. Maybe it was about time.
“Oh, hi.” She was surprised to see Bobby sitting on her windowsill when she entered the room. She heard her ‘little Logan’ growl at the sight of Bobby, she wanted to as well.
“Hi. We need to talk about this. My mother called earlier. The bridal company called her. You cancelled everything.” She took off her coat and threw it on the bed.
“Yeah, I did. Figured it should be done as soon as possible. Bobby, I am sorry about this.”
He laughed and hopped off the sill. “No, you’re not. You’re happy. You got your precious mutation back, and damn the rest of us, i.e. me.”
“Hang on a second. This isn’t a thing against you. When I took the cure, I never expected to be lost without it. I didn’t think that it would mean so much to me. I thought being human, able to touch, to love, would be enough to make me happy. But it wasn’t Bobby, and I’m sorry I hurt you.”
She couldn’t help getting angry with him; he was being an ass. She knew that she hadn’t handled this very well, but even he had to be thankful that she was being honest with him. She couldn’t be anything but honest now. She had to tell him the truth. Everything.
“It wasn’t enough, or I wasn’t enough?” He crossed his arms in front of his chest. It reminded her of Logan, and she mentally scolded herself. She shouldn’t be thinking of him while she was trying to explain things to her ex.
“Both. I do love you, but not how I thought I did. I’m sorry, and I know I’ve handled this really badly. The Professor gladly pointed that out.” She threw her arms up in the air, tired with the whole thing. “Look, do you still want us?”
“Yeah, I do. But you know how I feel about trust, and I just can’t trust you right now. And I know you skin shouldn’t be an issue, but it is. I got used it not being there. Do you want us?” Trust? How dare he! But then again maybe he had a point.
She bit her lip and looked at the floor, reining in her anger. “No. I don’t. And I know some of it is my fault, I accept that. I know I should have talked to you, but I just couldn’t.”
His face hardened slightly. “But you can talk to Logan, right?”
“He’s my friend.” He shook his head at her and sneered his words out.
He gestured towards her window, resentment and jealousy evident in his voice. “Looked like you were having a really good talk. For God’s sake, Rogue, don’t be so naive. You want to stop being treated like a kid, then don’t act like it. The man isn’t your friend. He never has been. Haven’t you ever noticed the way he looks at you?” She numbly shook her head. “Well, I have. He looks at you like he owns you, like any second he’s going to just take what’s his. I’ve watched him watch you. He’s so intense it’s scary. He’s an animal, Rogue, an unpredictable, dangerous, untamed savage. We all know what he did, you know what he did. If you can’t *cope* with being with me, then you don’t stand a chance with him.”
“How dare you say that about Logan? Could you have done it? Could you have saved all those innocent people? Could you be the one to carry that burden? No, because by the sounds of it you were too busy ushering your precious Kitty out of the way.”
“What do you know? You weren’t even there; you were off getting your *cure*.”
This time it was she who gestured towards the window. “What do you see?”
He turned. All he could see was Logan silently walking back to the mansion front steps, and he let out a sharp hateful laugh. “An evil old freak!”
He noticed her voice was dangerously calm. “Funny, I see a fountain. Or is it a skating rink? I forget.” His face showed his shock and guilt. “I’ve known about her all along. And for some stupid reason I really thought if I could touch you, I could actually fall in love with you. That I would accept it and live happily ever after. But, guess not. Christ how stupid was I to think Mr-Perfect-Robert-Frigging-Drake was actually the guy for me. ”
She caught her breath and then completely lost her temper, shouting at him. “I’ve seen you with her, *I*. *Know*. I’ve had enough of living like some timid little mouse. I don’t want you, I don’t want to be lied to, and I definitely don’t want to pretend that I’m happy when I’m actually completely miserable. You do this to me. You make me feel like I’m betraying my own feelings. Since I did this, since I took back control over my own actions, since I’ve been away from you, I feel alive, I feel amazing. I’m not suffocated and forced into being someone I’m not. Not sulking in the background waiting for you. I’m not playing the dutiful girlfriend, letting you fuck me, use my body just because I feel guilty, or because you’re the only one there to touch me at night.” She took another breath ten started again. “I’m did these things too, but I was stupid and now I’m done being stupid. I’m real, I’m me again, and you can fuck off because I don’t need you Bobby. I never did. All I need is me. I gave up everything for you, but not anymore!” She was breathing heavily by the time she had finished her rant at him. She felt amazing, her blood pumping and adrenaline coursing through her veins.
He stepped towards her, and for a brief second she thought he was going to hit her. But instead he grabbed her gloved hand and roughly yanked her glove off, searching for her engagement ring. She walked over to the dresser and took it off the top, tossing it at him. Then he turned around and walked out, slamming the door loudly as he went.
She stood in the silence of her room and couldn’t help herself--she giggled, flopping on the bed as all of the tension finally left her body. Her mutation hummed silently, giving her goose flesh every time it rubbed against her clothes, she loved the feeling. God she really had missed it.
The next morning she woke up feeling really awake and alert. She had a hot shower and smiled as her skin reacted to the hot water. After breakfast, she called her boss and quit her job. He tried to make her reconsider, but she was steadfast, smiling as she realised no one would ever get her doing something she didn’t want to again.
After another week or so of feeling like herself again, she began to help Scott run the school schedules. After another month, he had her doing it on her own. She felt useful, needed, and, for the first time since she could remember, truly happy. she had everything back, her control over her life, her confidence, her own inner peace and the voices in her head. She felt truly whole again.
She avoided Bobby and Kitty as best she could, but when she did run into either of them, she was polite. Kitty couldn’t look her in the face, which meant that Bobby was probably sleeping with her again. She didn’t care. In fact she couldn’t help but smile every time she saw either them; how the tables had turned.
She was officially paired with Logan on missions and was glad when the Professor made an effort to keep him distanced from Bobby. As much as she enjoyed watching him punch Bobby in the med lab, she knew he shouldn’t be allowed to do it again.
It was after dinner, and Logan was in the far end of the garage, tinkering with his bike and covered in grease. He smiled when he saw Marie come in. She was putting away some camping equipment that some of the kids had used over the weekend. He watched her step into the small supply room, when Bobby came in with some sleeping bags. Both were oblivious to Logan’s presence.
She didn’t bother to smiled as she took the sleeping bags from him and piled them inside the metal cabinets. She was about to leave when Bobby spoke to her.
“Can we try again?” She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She laughed in his face.
“You can’t be serious? I have no desire to try again Bobby. We’re finished, and that’s that.” He grabbed her covered arm as she walked past him.
“Why do you have to be such a bitch?” He held ono her arm, his grip strong and cold. It hurt, but she would never allow him to know that.
Shrugging off his overly firm grip, she got close to his face before she spoke. “Because I can.” She walked out of the supply room and out of the garage.
By the time Bobby came out looking disappointed, Logan was sitting on the hood of one of the SUV’s opposite the supply room, smoking a cigar. Bobby noticed him and froze. “Logan.” His scent held a tingle of fear as he wondered how long his old combat instructor had been there, and Logan was pleased.
Logan gave him a curt nod. “Robert.” Bobby didn’t know what to do or where to go, and the longer he stood there with Logan staring at him with cold dangerous eyes, the more scared he was.
“Been there long?” Bobby fidgeted.
“Long enough.” With that Logan jerked himself sharply of the hood and onto his feet. Bobby for a split second thought Logan was going to attack him; he jumped out of his skin and took a step back. Logan smirked and left the garage for a shower, hoping he had made his point.
She stomped back to her room and immediately checked her arm. “Son of a bitch!” She had a full handprint on her arm; it had started to bruise lightly. She would have to cover that up and make sure that Logan didn’t ever see it.
The moment she thought of him, she smiled and blushed at the same time. Maybe it was about time she admitted how she felt about him and did something about it. Checking her clothes, long-sleeved black top, dark tight jeans, gloves, dark green scarf round her neck: yep, she was happy.
She was about to go when she had a thought. She quickly stripped off and put on her sheer bodystocking, then her clothes back on over the top. She walked over to her dresser, checked her makeup, and ducked out the door. A hundred yards down the corridor, she stopped.
“Logan, you in here?” She shouted as she walked in. His bed was made roughly, and his clothes were laid out on top of the covers. A vest, light blue shirt and jeans. No boxers or briefs, just socks.
“Shower. Be out in a sec.” She sighed. Great. Now she would have to deal with her hormones if he came out of that shower all wet and yummy.
“What’s up.” Oh dear lord! He came out with a short towel wrapped round his waist and another in his hand rubbing his hair. Little beads of water running down his arms and his massive chest, lacing through his chest hair, leading a trail down his perfectly tight stomach to the towel around his waist. She wanted to follow that trail with her tongue. She could see the bottoms of his legs, and even those were strewn with muscles.
“Can’t remember. The big streak of half naked man in front of me kinda made me forget.” She sat down on his desk and leaned back on her hands, smirking at him.
“Turn around,” he rolled his eyes at her. She was always teasing him like this these days, and he kind of liked it.
She laughed. “Nope!” She was still smirking and kicking her legs out like a four-year-old.
“Marie, turn the fuck around!” He was still smiling at her so he wasn’t that annoyed, even though he’d sworn at her.
“Ugh, you’re no fun.” She put her hands in front of her eyes. Peeking through her fingers as he turned his back to her and pulled his jeans on. She got a lovely view of his perfect backside.
“Pervert.” He turned back and pulled his white vest over his head, smirking back at her. Then he put his shirt on, leaving the sleeve long on his arms.
“Yeah, ‘cos you would never look, would you?”
“’Cause I would, but I’m a guy.” He winked at her for emphasis.
It was her turn to roll her eyes at him. “Chauvinist.” He sat down on his bed to pull his socks on.
He chuckled. “Whatever. What do you want, anyway?” He noticed that her jovial scent changed and now held a hint of uncertainty and nervousness.
“Would you like to…I mean, if you wanted to, of course…maybe if you’re not busy, go out with me. For a drink, or coffee, paint-balling, crazy golf, bowing. Horse riding’s fun. Or you know, I could just shut up!” While she had been talking he had stood up and walked towards her. She laughed nervously, then stopped abruptly when he eased between her legs, towering over her, cupping her bottom with his large hands and roughly pulling her flush against him.
He shot both eyebrows up in the air quickly. “How about a ride!”
“Logan!” She did have time to do anything further before he was reaching for her scarf. Pulling it up to her lips, he kissed her passionately.
When they broke apart, she sat there smiling at him. She was unprepared when he quickly dove his hand into her hair and kissed her again. The next thing she knew she was pressed against his bedroom wall by every tight solid inch of him. Both of his hands tightly gripped her ass, and hers were firmly in his hair. He tasted like bitter cigars, but she didn’t care.
He pulled her to him even tighter, growling into her mouth as their tongues coiled and collided with each other through the thin fabric. She lifted her legs and wound them around his waist, moaning as he ground himself into the warmth between her legs. They broke the kiss for air and looked into each other’s heated eyes.
Simultaneously they came to their senses, and, letting go of each other, they moved away a step of two, both looking as sheepish as the other did. Logan rubbed the back of his neck, and Marie bit at her lip.
Marie giggled. “O-Kay, where did that come from?”
Smiling like an idiot, Logan let out his manly version of a giggle as well. “I have no idea! I’m so sorry, you just looked so…and I…Sorry, I have no idea what I’m doing or what I’m saying. So…I’m gonna shut up!” He laughed again.
“OK.”
“OK.”
“Right.”
“Right.”
They didn’t move, they just stood there looking at each other. The fabric still stuck to her damp lips. She quickly moved forward and kissed him this time. He put his arms around her again, pulling her in tightly again. After about 50 seconds, he pushed her away and spoke, but his words held no conviction. “We need to stop this, before we do something stupid.”
She nodded. “Yeah, I know.” He kissed her again, this time his hands groping her full breasts. She started to undo his belt buckle and jeans, while he undid the buttons on her blouse. They were kissing each other with open mouths, panting, smiling and giggling.
He kept fumbling with the buttons, so in the end he ripped her blouse off, taking her bra along with it. “God, you’re so beautiful!” She smiled as he kissed her again. He touched her breasts again, smiling at the feel of her bodystocking. He moved his hands to her face, and her skin caught him briefly, giving her a fresh rush of his adrenaline and a good picture of what he wanted to spend the next couple of hours doing. He grabbed his gloves from the bed, kissing her silk-clad lips while he shoved them on.
She undid his shirt and felt his chest by slipping her own gloved hands under it. He pushed her jeans down, and she kicked them away towards the bed. He circled his hand into her g-string, tugging at it roughly then tossing the torn fabric onto the floor. She jumped, but the instant flush of heat that travelled to her groin made her want more of him. She pulled his shirt and vest off while he undid his own jeans and got them out of the way.
He tried to delicately place her on the bed, but tripped over her clothes and fell on top of her. She let out a “Oooooph!” as they landed. She snorted and laughed at him. He laughed back.
“Sorry, darlin’. I’m normally better at this, I swear!”
Their laughter echoed around the room until she distracted him by kissing him again. When he settled himself between her legs, their kissing turned frantic and passion-filled.
He reached over to his drawer and got out a condom. He looked at her, questioning with his eyes. She nodded, so he pulled back on his knees and put it on. He took the opportunity to look at her naked body, the slight glisten of her bodysuit, and he delighted in how perfect she was. He started nipping at her neck and smiling at the way her skin lit up in a wild blush every time his erection brushed up against her inner thigh.
He ran his hand down her arm, and she flinched when he gripped the bruise that Bobby had left. He raised up and looked at it. He was about to apologise for hurting her when he noticed the hand print was smaller than his own. “Who hurt you?”
“I’ll tell you later. I promise.” She pulled him down to kiss her again, but he pulled back.
“Marie, tell me.” She smiled seductively at him, her heart beating out of her chest in anticipation.
“Not until you go wild for me.” He smiled and lowered himself onto her heated body. He wanted nothing more than to do as she asked, but there would be some serious questions later.
When he entered her, pushing in gently, it caused her to moan loudly. Picking up the pace, it wasn’t long before they were both moaning into each other mouths. She gripped his shoulders, his back, and his hair, anything she could get her hands on. He was gripping her hips, trying to hold her still.
He growled into her hair, causing her to break out in goose bumps. Whoever had hurt her would pay a high price. “Harder…please God!” He lost himself in the smell of her, the taste of her lips, bringing her hips up to meet his merciless thrusts. Then he lifted one of her legs slightly. The angle caused her to arch her body into him.
The room was filled with the sounds of soft moans, gasps, the creak of leather gloves over soft skin, feral possessive growls, and the sound of rough denim scraping against her nylon clad inner thighs. She tipped her head back and gasped as he made her world stop in the centre of her body and explode into a million multicoloured pieces.
He raised himself up and put his hand either side of her head, basking in the glow and heat she generated. Kissing her wildly and nipping her lips as he ground into her. He followed her into nothingness, letting out an untamed roar. As he did, the condom broke, filling her with his seed and exposing him to her mutation.
Again her head was suddenly filled with another dose of his healing factor, thoughts and emotions. She had a picture of her ‘little Logan’ cracking his neck and smiling smugly.
She managed to roll him off her, and the smug bastard actually chuckled just before he lost consciousness.
A small strip of sunlight peeking dangerously through his curtains woke him up. He rolled on the other side of the bed, expecting to find a soft, brown-haired bundle of Southern girl, but found a pillow instead. “Marie?”
“Morning, sugar, how’s ya head?” He moved his head round and found her seated on his armchair pulling one of his black vests over her head. He caught a glimpse of her lovely round breasts just before she covered them. She didn’t have her bodystocking on. He raised an eyebrow at his vest. She smiled. “You tore my blouse, remember?”
He could smell her perfectly; she hadn’t showered, which meant she smelt like sex and him. A combination he could live with. That realisation made him a little nervous.
He also remembered that he’d torn her panties, which meant she had nothing on under her jeans. Suddenly it was making him a little dizzy: the sheets, the room was thick with the smell of her, him, sex.
He had never slept like that before. Relaxed and contented. Happy. All because of her. He knew now what his gut had been tugging at these last few weeks. His feelings for her had changed, and last night was the proof. He’d sworn a long time ago that he would never lie to her, and he wouldn’t, he wanted this.
“Um, where are you going?” She tried not to laugh. She was on cloud nine. He had given her the best night of her life, and she knew that they both wanted to start something. She got a good dose of his emotions last night. He definitely wanted this, so did she. She just wanted him to say it first. Make him sweat a little.
“Breakfast.” She got up and headed for the door, a happy skip in her step.
“Wait.” She turned and smiled at him. He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled the sheet around his waist. He looked so nervous she nearly caved in and hugged him. “About last night…”
“What about it?” Her feigned innocence was perfect. He had no idea that she really wasn’t blowing him off, and she was killing herself laughing on the inside. “Logan, come on. It’s not like it’s the first time you’ve had sex in the heat of the moment!”
That was the way to fool his senses. Never actually say anything, ask questions, be sarcastic, repeat his question, state the facts, and he could never tell you were lying.
“No, but…I thought we had…something.”
“Oh, we had something alright, sugar.” Smiling sickly sweet and crossing her arms across her chest, he felt his pulse quicken in fear. He tried to think desperately—what was it that women said to him when they wanted him to stay after sex? His mind was a complete blank.
“Don’t you want this?” He looked so scared, and something else she had never thought was possible for him - vulnerable.
She looked around the room and then back to him, shaking her head. “Want what?” He looked at her and narrowed his eyes. Something about the mischievous sparkle in those brown eyes made him wonder.
“You’re screwing with me, aren’t you?” He didn’t relax until her face crumpled, and she laughed. He snatched the front of her vest and pulled her into him so she was laying over his lap.
She screeched and began laughing hysterically. “AAH! LET ME GO! MY SKIN!”
“You fucking little wench, I’m gonna spank your ass for that!” He gave her one hard smack on her ass, then let her up far enough to kiss her. Her mutation pulled at him until she shoved him away. Shaking the dizziness off, he smirked at her.
“That hurt!” Her cheeks were a violent shade of red. He guessed she didn’t object that much and he smirked again, grabbed her scarf, and kissed her hard. She pushed him away, giggling. “You really want this?”
He kissed her again. “Yeah. I would never have slept with you if I didn’t. I respect your friendship too much for that. I mean, I’m not saying I’m in love with you or anything, but we have something that’s a little more than friendship. I don’t want to do anything to hurt you, I promise.” There was a long pause. “So I guess we’re, you know, going out. You on board with that?”
She stood up and pulled the sheet away from his body. Then she sat in his naked lap, his erection gently bobbing against her bottom, making her accent thicken with arousal. “Oh, I’m on board, sugar.” His still-gloved hands slid under her top, then back down to her hips, pulling her closer.
“Well, just let me get my flag pole and…” She put her hand over his mouth and tried not to laugh.
“Please don’t finish that sentence. That would be taking the sailing analogies a little too far.” He nodded behind her hand and stood up, taking her with him and pressing her against the wall. “Logan, we can’t. You’re naked, and it’s too much skin.”
She was breathing heavily again, his naked warm body pressed secured her. She could feel all of him: muscled, powerful, hard and controlled. He practically oozed male dominance, a mile away from the vulnerable man she had seen a moment ago.
“Then I think you need to start wearing a bodystocking more often.” She nodded as he let her go and moved away slightly.
He picked up his jeans and pulled them on over his perfectly-sculpted lower half and turned back to her as he pulled his vest over his head, then put his shirt on. “So you gonna tell me about that now?” He inclined his head towards the bruise on her forearm.
“No, it doesn’t matter anymore.” She was suddenly very nervous about the way he was looking at her. He was so intense, and she finally realised what Bobby had meant. Logan played for keeps, whether he knew it or not.
“Baby, no one hurts my girl.” She smiled at his words.
“Your girl?” He pressed himself against her again, kissing her neck through the scarf. She was finding it hard to remember her own name.
“Yeah…Who hurt you, Marie?...Tell me.” He spoke in between wet kisses, making her moan and shiver. Even though his voice was calm, she knew what danger lurked beneath it.
He grabbed her hips and spun her around so her face was pressed against the cold wall. She tried to struggle as he circled his arms around her and undid her jeans. Then she gasped as he slipped his gloved fingers through her already wet folds, pulling and pinching at her clit. Soon enough she was pushing back against him, her nails scraping at the wooden-panelled wall.
He was breathing on her neck and licking at her skin so quick her mutation couldn’t pick him up. She was panting, her hot breath making the wood nearly as damp as Logan’s gloves. “Tell me.” His voice was a whisper against her ear, and he slipped finger inside her hot wet entrance, still massaging her clit with his thumb.
Using his other hand, he pulled her hair into a knot around his fist. Yanking it back so her head rested on his shoulder, he spoke again. “I can have you dangling on the edge for hours, baby. Who hurt you?”
She tried to wiggle her hips to increase the friction and tip her over the edge, but his unyielding body wouldn’t let her. “Logan, please!”
“Tell me!” He snarled and roughly dug his finger into her again, making her yelp and buck in pleasure. Increasing the pressure on her clit, she started moaning and pushing against him. “Tell me now, or I’ll stop!”
“God…please, ugh…Bobby, it was Bobby!” He growled and bit her shoulder through the vest, and she came, screeching and panting into the wall.
He withdrew his hands and his body, and she sank to the floor as her knees gave out. Panting into the panelling, it was a good minute or so until her mind de-fogged itself, and she realised he was gone. She stood up on shaky legs and looked around the room. The door was open.
“Shit!”
She raced down the halls, doing her jeans up as she went, her bare feet slapping against the floor. When she reached the main hall, ‘Ro stopped her. “Hey, where’s the fire?”
“Logan, he’s gonna kill…” She was cut short by the sight of Robert Drake flying through the glass door of the rec room.
“LOGAN, NO!” She ran to him and pushed on his chest to stop him, but he pushed her aside, and began stalking towards a terrified Bobby, danger and malice obvious in his dark eyes.
He was about to flick his claws out when she pushed in front of him again, instantly putting her hands over his tightly balled fists. She stared into his eyes. “It’s not worth it. Please. We have better things to do.”
He looked at her small delicate hands over his own, suddenly realising how much it meant for someone to touch him where he was most dangerous. “No one *ever* hurts you, not as long as I’m breathing.” She couldn’t help but feel completely overwhelmed by him; he was prepared to do anything for her.
“He gets the point, so let’s just go. Let’s go for a bike ride, crazy golf, anything you want.” She smiled at him, hoping it would dilute his anger.
He shot a quick glance at Bobby who was still on the floor, not having moved out of sheer terror. ‘Ro moved forward, helping him up and brushing glass off his back just as the Professor wheeled into view.
“Robert, I wish to speak with you immediately. Logan, Rogue, go out and enjoy your day. Allow me to deal with this.”
Logan gave a quick nod to the Professor before puling Marie back to his room. They put their shoes and jackets on and went for a long bike ride. On the way back, they stopped in town. While she bought four bodystockings from the lingerie shop, Logan bought a bumper pack of condoms.
*************************
EPILOGUE
Logan sat in the armchair of the TV room, watching Marie sleep in a pile of blankets. Her chest slowly rose and fell, taking the blankets with it. Her eyes moved as she dreamed and she occasionally murmured something. She was beautiful, and she was his. Completely.
He loved the way her dark hair flew everywhere. He also loved the way she complained about it and threatened to get it cut. She never would; she just liked hearing him plead with her not too. He liked wrapping it around his fingers, feeling its silky strands slip over his rough skin or using it to pull her head back so he could mark her neck.
He loved the way she teased him, poked fun at him, and made him smile. She told him she loved him. He did the same and showered her with affection every opportunity he got. Her skin wasn’t an issue these days. After a succession of touches, accidents and times when he just had to touch her, he was immune.
A lot of things had changed in the last year. Bobby for one. He was still on the team, still a teacher, but he now lived about five miles down the road. Out of Logan’s way.
Marie and he had moved into a larger suite. It was like a small apartment: two bedrooms, a small bathroom, and a small living room. It was small but fitted them perfectly.
Scott made jokes about him being henpecked, but Logan didn’t care. He had what he wanted, what he had always wanted. He was a truly happy man. She had given him everything.
He was broken out of his thoughts by Hank, who walked in looking for the contents of the blankets opposite him. “Logan, she should have been down in the med lab half an hour ago for her check-up.”
Logan rose from his seat and walked to where Marie slept. “Sorry, I didn’t want to wake her Marie up.” He gently pulled some of Marie’s blankets back and picked up a small bundle.
The small wriggling little pile that was his daughter squeaked and wriggled until Logan shushed her. “Hey, you’ll wake up your mom.”
Marie stirred and rubbed her eyes. “Too late. What you up to?”
“I’m just taking her down for her check-up. Go back to sleep darlin’.” She brushed the baby’s hair and then snuggled back down into her blankets. Logan was sure she was asleep before he even left the room.
He laid the baby down on the exam table and stepped back so that Hank could check her over.
“She’s a good size for three months, Logan. Rogue is doing well with feeding her. By the end of next month, you can start her on solids. I have to take some blood. Would you prefer I wait for Rogue?” Hank eyed Logan warily; everyone knew how protective he was of Marie, let alone what he was like over his little princess.
“Do it. Just let me sit her on my lap.” He distracted the baby while Hank drew a small amount of blood from her heel. She cried and got very upset. Logan set her down on the exam table, took his shirt and vest off. Then he took her baby gown off and picked her up, snuggling her again his bare chest. She was soon cooing at her father again.
Hank smiled at the little scene. “When I realised that her mutation was her skin, it had me worried, but I’m glad it’s just emotional at this stage.”
Logan nodded, just as Marie came through the med lab door. She immediately smiled brightly and gasped at the picture in front of her.
Logan sat with his top off and snuggling into him was a nappy-clad, pink, chubby baby into his enourmous muscular chest. She tugged at his chest hair and giggled. She had dark wavy hair and brilliantly clear hazel eyes, that lit up whenever she saw her father. The baby giggled, and Marie saw Logan smile at her and tickle her plump tummy. Rogue never would have thought it possible for the most dangerous man who ever existed to be such a perfect father, so gentle. He was amazing.
In that moment stood there watching her wonderful little family, she realised that small metal box was the best $4600 she had even spent. She also sent a silent thank you to the makers of dodgy condoms.
END
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Notes: Set about three years after X3. Ok, I’m acknowledging it, but on my terms, not the whole Logan-loves-Jean thing. Oh, No, not that! Xavier is resurrected, and Scott is alive. In my version, he escaped with cuts and bruises and spent the rest of the film in the med lab.