She came back in August almost two years later. The older students at Xavier's school were all embroiled in a training simulation outdoors when it happened. Jubilee was the first to recognize the blue, open top jeep. Taking in the driver's dark brown and white hair flapping wildly in the wind, she stood from her protected space behind a hedge and was immediately rewarded with an orange paint blast to the chest. Flinching slightly, she gave St. John a dirty look before recognition hit her and she dashed across the lawns to great her long lost friend. Within seconds, every participant of the training game had more or less done the same. The only stragglers were the new students, but they too knew who had returned. She was the stuff of legends and before long, the rumor had made it's way to every participant or spectator in the wargame. The Rogue had returned.
Turning the ignition off, Rogue pushed her glasses up to her head to help restrain her wild hair. The Mansion loomed before her, as enormous and beautiful as ever. Still gripping the steering wheel tightly, she admitted to herself that she was finally home and that she had missed the place dearly.
Squelching the feeling of fear in her stomach, she opened her door and swung her legs out. Seeing the approaching blur of Jubilee at full speed, she moved around the jeep and prepared for the inevitable shock. As expected, Jubilee skidded to a stop and took in the Rogue's sight with wide, incredulous eyes. Her hooping and hollering was replaced by a sharp gasp. Taking the initiative, Rogue grinned and stepped forward. She could see the approaching crowd of lycra clad junior X-Men closing in behind Jubilees blanched face.
"Hey, Jubes."
Looking up at the sound of her name, Jubilee finally managed to find her words.
"Hey girl."
Still staring, Jubilee finally snapped out of her disbelief and launched herself at her friend. Careful not to touch her face or press too hard, the Asian girl hugged Rogue furiously. Rogue wallowed at the sincerity of her contact with closed eyes. In her mind, she had worried constantly about the reaction she would get from Jubilee, but seeing the love and acceptance in her choked sobs, Rogue felt a great weight lifted from her heart.
"How did this happen?"
The tone was still incredulous as she pulled back. Rogue grinned even wider.
"I think we both know how this happened Jubes."
Laughing at the trademark way with words, Jubilee hovered her hands an inch above Rogue's stomach.
"Can I?"
Rogue relented with a quick nod. Behind them, the crowd had coalesced and Rogue felt another jab of fear as she noticed Kitty, St. John, and Bobby weave their way to the front and do a similar take at her appearance. Kitty was already in tears. For the next few minutes, Rogue's old friends welcomed her back with tears, hugs and curious questions. Knowing that she had to speak to Xavier first, Rogue gave her brief breakdown of the preceding events: meet a guy, substandard condom, six months along. Eventually she disengaged herself from the awkward questions and made her way to the front door.
While St. John lugged her suitcases behind her, Bobby and Jubilee volunteered to take Rogue to see Xavier. They knew that the senior X-Men were in a meeting in the sub-levels and out of concern as well as curiosity they quickly ushered Rogue along, filling her in on the gossip and adventures that happened in her absence. The only notable exception in the gossip regarded Logan. Knowing full well that they were censoring themselves for her benefit, Rogue nodded and giggled her way through the torrent of information as nonchalantly as possible.
Looking at their faces as they took the elevator downstairs, Rogue marveled at just how much she had missed her friends. Unconsciously rubbing her stomach, she stepped out of the elevator with Bobby fusing and grinning at her. With a wry smile, she realized that he had hardly let go of her hand since he had laid eyes on her. They had missed her too. Walking down the last stretch of hallway, Rogue stopped suddenly at the familiar metallic door before them. Exchanging looks, Bobby and Jubilee hesitated and their babbling ceased. Each was holding one of Rogue's hands tightly.
"You can do this later, Rogue."
Bobby nodded a solemn approval, "When you feel up to it."
Rogue looked at both pairs of wide eyes and tried to swallow her fear.
"Ah've been prepping for this for some time now guys, Ah'm ready as ah'll evah be."
Jubilee squeezed her hand a little tighter before letting go. Bobby followed suit and punched in numbers on the keypad by the door. In an instant, the metallic doors parted to reveal the assembled X-Men around a conference table. Gathering her courage, Rogue stepped in and smiled shyly at the shocked faces.
For over five months, Rogue imagined what the moment of truth would look like. It was funny because the absolute first thing she thought about holding the blue stick in front of her, was what they would think. Not why did this happen, or even better - how did this happen, but very simply, what would they think.
When she left the Mansion that stormy day over two years ago, there was no doubt in her mind that she would someday return. It was a given. Her time in Oregon was something of a respite. When she ran, she made it as far as Alaska before working her way down to Oregon. There she took a job that eventually led to another, which eventually led to Mike and a year of settling down. But even then, she knew it was just a break. In the years she had spent at Xavier's school, she had found a home, and that was something that Oregon didn't offer. So holding that blue stick in front of her, the most natural thought in the world was that she was going home. Despite the heartache and the complications, she was going home. Home to the people who sat assembled before her.
Xavier was the first to smile. Remy was the first to stand. Scott just stared with his jaw hanging open before standing up too, but Ororo leapt up and beat him to her. They each hugged Rogue in turn, running their eyes over her rounded form. Next came an unfamiliar blue furry mutant who shook her hand and smiled politely. The room was a cacophony of greetings and nervous laughter until Rogue disentangled herself from Xavier.
Wiping the tears from her cheeks and straightening out with Bobby's help, Rogue stopped short at the sight of Jean across the table. She was sitting with her hands clasped in front of her, trying to carefully control her expression. Shamed, at the sudden interest, Jean put her gaze down. Swallowing tightly, Rogue was about to speak when she noticed Logan staring at her from where he sat in a corner. Meeting Logan's furious gaze head on, she tightened her grip on Xavier's hand. She had planned many things to say, but words failed her. Sensing the tension in the exchanged look, the entire room fell into awkward silence.
Not able to fully register the sight before him, Logan pushed back his seat and stomped with heavy footsteps out of the room. The metallic doors swished closed behind him and the sound of his claws tearing through metal was clearly heard by everyone. Rogue put her head down and tried to swallow the panic rising in her throat. Xavier pursed his lips before pulling her down to him again. Finally feeling the tears slip from her eyes, Rogue knelt and crushed into the man she considered her father for a solemn moment before letting go. His words were exactly the ones she needed to hear.
"He'll come around child, you'll see."
Rogue nodded mutely.
"We have much to discuss though, please join me in my office."
Rogue squeezed her eyes again before nodding in agreement. She gave the quiet X-Men one last sad smile before moving to cradle her stomach.
"Ah've missed you all."
Scott tightened his grip on Ororo's waist and spoke up in an uncharacteristically wavering voice.
"So have we." He gave Rogue a warm smile, "It's great to have you back Rogue."
Feeling Jubilee press her hand to her back, Rogue blinked back the rest of her tears. Things had actually gone smoother than she thought, but it still hurt like hell. Slightly dizzy and very tired, she put her hand to her head. She saw the blue furry guy perk up immediately. Giving the crowd one last tight smile, she looked down at Xavier, who started to wheel away. She followed him mutely to his office, ignoring the claw marks in the corridor paneling, where she took in a deep breath and began to recount her story.
Logan eyed Xavier's door for close to two hours while they talked. Perched in an alcove, down the corridor from the mahogany door, he waited with his head in his hands and clenched eyes. In his dreams, he saw her often. Sometimes they were nightmares. Yelling, screaming, crying, all ending with her leaving in a thundering rainstorm. But more often than not, they were dreams of making love awash in the smell that was all Marie.
Like everyone else, he assumed she would return. He himself had left dozens of times, but the Mansion called and beckoned to a person's soul. It was inevitable. She would return just like he had, just like Cyke had, just like everyone did. Only he had never imaged her coming home like she had today. Her scent, her beauty, even her laughter and tears were essentially the same, but all he could see was the soft curve of her shape. The roundness of her breasts. The new luster in her hair. The faint heartbeat drumming quickly in beat with hers. Whimpering slightly at the thought, Logan clenched his fists. As much as he denied it, the facts were undeniable. His Marie was pregnant.
Rogue quietly left Xavier's office and took two steps before leaning against the wall for support. At six months, she had gained an additional twenty pounds that were not there two months earlier. Almost in her third trimester, she was beginning to feel what it really meant to be pregnant . Rolling her neck slowly, she closed her eyes and rubbed the curve of her stomach. Xavier was as understanding as she had dreamed he'd be, but telling him her story had taken so much out of her. Feeling emotionally drained, Rogue slipped a hand to the key she had in her shirt pocket and started to make her way to her room. She didn't notice the Wolverine tracking her a few yards behind.
It was actually the same room she had had before. At first she felt like she needed something new. Something that wouldn't be a reminder, but shuffling in to find her bags neatly placed by the closet, she changed her mind. She had returned home, and part of her home was her old room. Moving over to the recently turned down bed, she sighed heavily and settled into the soft pillows for a fifteen minute nap. Kicking of her shoes absently and peeling off her gloves, Rogue fell into a deep sleep instead, waking up hazily sometime after midnight. Rolling slowly onto her back, she peered at the clock by the bedtable with drowsy eyes.
"Why?"
Rogue startled at the gruff voice coming from the window. Placing a hand over her stomach, she eased to a sitting position.
"Wh-what are ya doing heah?"
Logan took another drink from his beer bottle and then rested it against the knee of his jeans. Rogue could not make out his features in the dim light.
"Why Marie?"
Rogue straightened up even further at the sound of her name. She hadn't heard it in what seemed like forever. Since that day, she remembered. That day he chased her through the woods in the rain. Suddenly angry, Rogue tossed her feet over the edge and flipped the light by her bed. Soft light encased the room, finally giving Logan's features solidity.
"Ah don't get yer question Logan."
She stood up completely now, letting her babydoll tunic fall over her leggings. Making an unconscious wide arc around his presence, she moved to her luggage and fished out her overnight bag. Logan just stared at the outline she made as she walked. Her back was slightly curved to support her added weight, her legs were slightly apart, her hips swayed with every movement. It was what he was doing for so many hours while she slept. Watching, taking in all the changes. The new scent of motherhood. Still unbelieving, he repeated his question.
"Why?"
Marie paused in her angry tossing of cosmetics into drawers. She knew he would seek her out. He always did, and damned if he didn't have a knack for stalking, but it annoyed her greatly to think she couldn't dismiss him like she had often done in her mind. She still felt for him and looking at the tortured look he gave her from where he was perched on her window she couldn't help but feel lousy.
"It's not like ah planned it Logan. Things happen."
"Who did this to you?"
Rogue stopped her unpacking.
"No-one did anything to me Logan! Ah had sex, Ah got pregnant! What do you wanna know? Ah name so you go and kill someone? Will that fix everything??"
Logan grumbled deep in his throat but his voice was low and level.
"Just tell me who it was."
Rogue shook her head.
"Ah can't believe you. That's why you're upset? Because Ah didn't come home still waiting fer you ta stop fucking around with Jean long enough ta fuck me!! No Logan, you messed up, Ah moved on. You and Ah were a joke."
He got up, dropping his bottle and took some steps to her. He didn't want her to say those words. It was too much to hear them all over again.
"Shut up."
"Ah will not shut up!!" Rogue clutched a towel to her chest and took a step back in response. "The minute you touched her it was ovah and then you expected for me ta just give up on finding some love an' happiness! To just stop feelin'?"
Logan fought the urge to cry. He did want to kill someone, but nothing could fix the mess he had made. He itched to unsheath his claws, but took two more steps closer to her instead.
"So then you found love and happiness?"
Rogue blinked a few times. She had never thought to ask herself that question. Mike was definitely something, but it hadn't been enough. Still not taking her eyes off him, she slid down to the edge of the bed and continued a little softer.
"No. Ah didn't."
Logan frowned. Someone had used her. Her baby had a father and he didn't love her enough to marry her. If she had found love and happiness, she wouldn't be at Xavier's all alone, trying to start over. His already overloaded mind swam at the realization, but his thought process was interrupted by a sudden burst of nervous laughter.
"Don't look that serious Logan. Ah was the one that left him. Ah'm Rogue remember? Runnin' is what Ah do best."
A few tears finally rolled down her cheeks and she looked down. She was gloveless. Logan sniffed at the new scent rolling off Marie. Sadness, nervousness and anxiety rolled into one. He wanted nothing more than to touch her, take her. After a year of dreaming about it, she was two feet away from him and still he couldn't. Sadness enveloped him as well, as he grasped the fact that the time for touching and dreaming was past. He would never have a right to touch her again. Equally miserable, both Logan and Rogue stared at each other in silence. Rogue finally spoke up.
"Look Logan, it just happened okay, and Ah'm taking it ah day at ah time. Ah knew this would be hard fer everyone but…Ah had to come back."
She cleared her throat and shook her head in quiet resolve. She had told herself the same thing for months.
"The world is ah lousy place fer mutants. He needs a home. This is the only place he could be safe."
Frustrated with herself, Rogue rubbed her stomach slowly and looked down. Logan swallowed hard at the newly acquired habit. She did it whenever she was stressed.
"He?"
Logan digested the information. A boy. A son. His Marie was having a son. It should have been his son. Finally letting his claws extend, Logan turned and stormed out of the room. He needed to think, needed to get a grip, but the sight of Marie so close just tormented him. He needed to get away.
Rogue heard Logan tear off on his bike a few minutes later. She watched from her window, holding her stomach before collapsing back on the bed and crying herself to sleep. All she wanted was to tell him she still loved him. She did. Being this close after so long, she practically felt her body hum for him. Maybe it was the hormones giving her crazy ideas, but she was pretty certain it was true. She still loved him, unfortunately what she had told him was also true, they had their chance, and it was too late to go back now.
The next day, Rogue went down to breakfast with a smile. She had a headache from her argument with Logan the night before, but it was inevitable and at least he had refrained from trashing the place. Looking at the clock, she wondered if he came home at all. But she quickly banished the thought from her head. If she was to co-habitate with him, avoidance was key. She had proven to herself that she could exist without him, now she just had to prove it again. Besides, her focus was on just one individual, the one growing inside of her. All of the maternity books she read stressed how important it was to keep a good disposition. Straightening out her back, she resolved to make good on her promise to her son. She was going to make him a home no matter what.
As expected, Ororo and the girls fussed and fawned over her incessantly. They were soon joined by Scott and the furry blue mutant, Hank McCoy, who was the new resident doctor. Rogue was quick to notice the way Scott leaned into Ororo while eating, but said nothing. Instead, she let herself get carried away in all the fussing over the baby. It pleased her to see her friends accept her situation as a single mother so openly, and by the end of the meal, a shower date was set and Rogue was ushered to the med bay, where Scott ordered Beast, as Dr. McCoy was called, to run a complete medical work-up.
Ororo joined them and sharing all she knew of her pregnancy with the doctor, Rogue temporarily forgot about the encounter she had with Logan the night before. But it all came crashing back, when the three entered an exam room and found Jean sitting at a desk, scribbling furiously in a file. Closing it immediately, she looked up and attempted to smile. Knowing the strained nature of the relationship between the women, Beast spoke up first.
"I didn't know you were here so early Dr. Grey, we'll try room three."
Despite the heavy hand ushering her from behind, Rogue didn't budge. She had known Jean to be about ten years older than Scott, but the woman before her looked older and tired. Letting her compassion move her, Rogue placed a gloved hand on Beast's shoulder and spoke softly.
"That's okay sugah, we need ta talk anyway."
Ororo looked at Rogue questioningly, then at Jean. The woman looked mortified. Silently agreeing, Ororo followed Beast out and carefully closed the door behind her. Shuffling over to the chair across from the desk, Rogue sat down and looked over at the doctor. She could already make out the tears in her eyes.
"Ah wanna make sure you are okay with this."
Jean snorted and raised two perfectly groomed eyebrows.
"Like I have a choice."
Rogue acknowledged as much.
"We do have ah choice Jean, we can either make this easy or make this hard."
Jean crossed her arms and wrinkled her brow. The tears slipped easily down her face.
"I never meant for things to turn out like this. I don't wish to make things harder than they already are."
Rogue looked down at her gloves. Her instincts told her to hold the woman, comfort her, but she kept rigidly in place.
"Ah understand that. Ah won't lie an' tell you that it's all forgotten, because…well it ain't. But it is forgiven."
Rogue ventured a look up, and pushing her messy bangs from her face, she tried to gauge Jean's reaction. The redhead just nodded.
"I understand." Her voice was a whisper. "And I am sorry."
Rogue's heart turned over. The night she left, Jean had looked anything but sorry. She had told Scott to fucking leave. Looking at her fiddling with a pen across a massive and spotless desk, Rogue realized that Jean truly was sorry. She flicked away her own tears and slowly stood up. She wanted to hold her, tell her she was sorry too, but she held back. It was something she was good at. Holding back her feelings was a skill she perfected as the girl with poison skin and at this point, it was a way of life.
Rogue left quietly, carefully musing over Jean's final words. She was sorry. The lines around her eyes and lips said as much. The woman she had just spoken to was not the same she had known before. Guilt had taken a confident and beautiful woman and turned her remorseful and tired. Having spoken to the third person on her 'to mend' list, Rogue made her way to exam room three. Slipping into a cotton examining gown with Ororo's help, she finally found the courage to ask what had happened when she left two years earlier.
Ororo flustered but Rogue assured her that she was ready to hear it all. Knowing that her new friend deserved to hear the complete story as well, Rogue prompted the ebony goddess while Beast fiddled with instruments and monitors. Taking a deep breath, Rogue leaned back into the exam bed and prepared to revisit the past she tried so hard to forget.
It was pretty obvious by anybody's standards that it was over between Scott and Jean. For weeks after Logan's latest arrival, they had fought and argued well into the night. No-one quite knew why but rumor had it that the deciding factor was the wedding date. After five years of engagement Scott wanted to set one and Jean didn't.
Rogue remembered the fights clearly. She lost plenty of sleep wondering if Logan was the real reason behind it all. In the three years she had lived at the Mansion, he came and went as he pleased. Sometimes he stayed a week, sometimes a few months. It was a good enough arrangement. He helped out on missions and had the security of knowing he had a home when all else looked shitty. Because she was still his best friend, Rogue enjoyed Logan's visits the most. They chatted, they went out and they kept each other company.
But his smoldering looks and teasing smile were all Jean's. After three years, the attraction was still as clear as day. Everyone did there very best to ignore it, but behind closed doors, Scott and Jean fell apart because of it. Eventually Scott left. He packed up a bag, got in a car and left. Everyone held a collective breath because they knew that the only barrier left was no longer on Jean's finger the next day.
Rogue on her part, watched the unfolding events in awe. After waiting for so long, Logan had finally uttered the words she wanted so desperately to hear. He called half-drunk and surly, but his words were clear. He was tired of running, tired of chasing his past, he wanted to settle down, wanted her to be with him, he was coming home, on his way as a matter of fact, and would arrive in a few days. His last words were strangely haunting, he wanted her, loved her, only her.
Rogue holed up in her room and waited. He was coming home in a few days. His homecomings were always momentous. He always came straight to her room, swept her off her feet, tickled and teased her, took her out. But last time it had been different. Something had changed. He spent more time in Rogue's room, more time taking her places. In an unguarded moment he had kissed her. When he left the last time with a new and promising lead to his past, he left with a promise. He was tired and he was coming back for her. He told her so. It fueled Rogue's dreams and hopes but also her anxiety, because everyone at the Mansion understood that Jean was now waiting too.
On the day he was scheduled to arrive, Rogue finally broke. After six years with Scott, Jean was finally single and Logan was going to be hers. Rogue was certain of it. He might have considered little Marie a friend, a companion, maybe even love her, but Logan was a man that ran on instinct and Rogue knew enough of him to know Jean was all he would see. With a foreboding sense in her heart, Rogue did the only thing she could - she ran. Grabbing her purse, she hitch-hiked to New York City to find the one person that would understand.
Scott opened his door looking more disheveled than Rogue had ever seen him before. Closing the door behind them, he wordlessly pulled Rogue into a bone-crushing hug. He muttered that misery loves company and Rogue laughed. Knowing that she was safe with him, Rogue stayed for over a week. In a hotel on the Lower West Side, Scott and Rogue buried themselves in self-pity, liquor and denial. Back at the Mansion, Logan and Jean finally worked out all their sexual attraction.
It was ten days later that Scott nudged Rogue awake in the middle of the night. They had fallen asleep on the couch watching some god-awful movie on the sci-fi channel when an idea struck him. They couldn't hide forever and hard or not, the Mansion was their home too. Looking deeply into Rogue's still hazy eyes, Scott whispered three words.
"We're going back."
Recognizing the no-nonsense voice and the fearless leader set of his jaw, Rogue nodded numbly and got dressed. For the first time in over a week, Scott was sober and clean-shaven. She loved him dearly for letting her stay and seeing his old can-do attitude return, she was ready to follow him anywhere. Throwing his bags into the SUV he had taken from Xavier's, Scott paid his bill and wiped the tears from Rogue's face. They were both pretty tired but hopeful that they were going to face their situation head on.
Pausing with a sad grin, Rogue remembered the weather. Ororo looked at Beast and continued the story. She was furious and felt helpless at all the things transpiring in her home. Hearing Logan and Jean moaning and growling two rooms down, Ororo summoned the rains to flood out the noise. It all felt wrong, and not having a way to stop it or set things right, Ororo let the brunt of her hostility work itself out in torrents of wind and rain.
As thunder and lightening split the sky, Rogue and Scott pulled into the Mansion and made their way up the stairs. Soaking wet and heartbroken at the sounds coming from his room, Scott looked at Rogue. She saw the courage and resolve he had just a few minutes before leave him completely. Unlike her, he had no room of his own and the only one he wanted was occupied by someone else at the moment. Suppressing her tears, Rogue pulled him by the hand to her room. Opening the door she led him to the bed. Bending down, she removed his shoes and helped the weary man out of his wet jacket. Finally doing the same with herself, she then cradled herself behind his long frame and cried herself to sleep, hearing Scott do the same.
In the days they spent at the hotel, Scott and Rogue had practically lived on the couch. Watching inane amounts of television, they each wrapped themselves in blankets and eased in and out of fitful sleep for days on end. Finally home, they settled into a bed easily for their first real sleep in days. Outside, the ravenous thunder warned of things to come.
Logan burst into Rogue's room early the next day. Returning back to his room for a shower in the predawn hours, he caught Rogue's scent in the hallway. Growling at the intermingled scent of Scott, he ripped open Rogue's door and launched himself at Scott. Dragging the thinner man out of the bed, he punched him once in the jaw. Rogue screamed, but the events unfolded too quickly for her to stop them. In self-defense, Scott touched his wrap-around glasses and blasted Logan through the door and into the hallway. The red energy beams were so bright in the dark, the blast left Rogue temporarily blinded.
Eventually her sight returned and staring incredulously at the splatter of blood staining the once white walls of the hallway, Rogue covered her scream with her hands. Behind her, Scott staggered to his feet before falling back to a wall and sliding down to the floor. He was clearly in shock. Torn between helping Scott and running to Logan, Rogue closed her eyes and prayed that Logan could survive having a foot wide hole torn into his torso. Her decision was quickly made for her though, when Jean came running down the hallway, red hair and red robe flowing gracefully all around her.
Jean skidded to a stop before falling to her knees at Logan's side. She looked up at Rogue and they silently shared a moment of recrimination so silent, Rogue could hear the footsteps of students running from their rooms in the floor below. The moment was broken when Scott muttered Jean's name. Refusing to look at him, Jean turned her attentions to Logan and muttered that he fucking leave. Furious and indignant, Rogue turned to help Scott stagger to his feet. By now, she could hear Ororo and Remy running to meet the bloody scene. They went to hold up Scott, but didn't step a foot closer to Logan's tattered body.
Everyone stared at each other as the storm thundered louder outside. In between two particularly bright flashes, Logan moaned. Rogue felt her stomach turn at the sight of his organs and blood vessels re-stitching themselves in his open abdomen. No-one stood a chance against Logan in hand to hand combat, but Scott's optic blasts were an unparalleled force of destruction. Closing her eyes to the fact that Jean was holding Logan's bloody arm - his bare arm, Rogue turned and bolted. The soft cooing words Jean was mumbling to him echoed in her ears.
Feeling the still damp legs of her jeans weigh her down, Rogue pumped her legs hard to get away from the scene behind her. Jumping into action, Remy took Scott to Xavier, while Ororo tried to calm Jean down. In an unexpected moment, Logan sat up and howled. Pushing everyone away, he crouched into a fighting stance and sniffed the air. Unsheathing his claws, the crowd parted and let him run through, all six claws swinging by his sides. Barefoot and still healing, Logan ran into the woods behind the property on Rogue's trail.
Rogue sat on an overturned trunk and tried to calm her racing heart. Managing to at least slow down her breathing, she wiped at her tear stained face before continuing on her run through the forest. Above her, the sky unmercifully drenched her clothing, making her heavy and slow. Stopping for another pause when a stitch in her side ached too hard, Rogue made a mental calculation of the distance she covered. The strip of woods on the west side of the Mansion were only four miles wide, but it was hard terrain to cover at a full sprint. Briefly wondering if she was being followed, Rogue sobbed again and pushed her wet hair out of her face. She continued running, aided by the occasional burst of lightening, when a howl tore through her.
Logan was fast approaching Rogue's trail. He was slowed by not having shoes, but his healing factor more than caught up with the pricks and gashes. Increasing his speed when he felt his abdominal wound close completely, he mindlessly tracked the scent he could make out anywhere, even in a downpour. Rounding over a hill, he gained even more speed when a thick bolt of light illuminated his way. In the distance below him, not one hundred yards away, he spotted Rogue's form weaving through the trees. The animal part of him reveling in the chase made him stop and howl in victory.
Rogue looked back at the spine-chilling sound of Wolverine's howl. He was quite the distance away, but the gleam of his claws in the fading burst of light spurred her on. She gasped and tried to run faster. Tripping once hard enough to land on her knees, Rogue grimaced in pain and kept going. She had to get away. She had to get away. She had to get away.
Seeing a momentary flash of red tailights somewhere in the short distance, she called upon every self-preservation instinct she had to move faster. Finally, when she was only yards away from the road, Rogue let a gasp of triumph escape her. Knowing that Logan had gained ground on her, Rogue quickly swung over the metal partition and stepped onto the smooth black asphalt of Interstate 95 without turning around. If she had, she would have caught a look of defeat on the Wolverine's face in the next flash of light. His acute hearing caught the sounds of the Chevy F-150 way before she did.
Still running with her hand clutching the stitch at her side, Rogue thanked God when she saw headlights fast approaching. Frantically moving from the median where she was running onto the path of the truck, she fell to the ground when the truck managed to brake only a few feet away from her. Shivering and babbling incoherently, Rogue was quickly told to get in. Not that far away, the driver heard a chilling howl that propelled her to drive faster than she had ever before.
Rogue looked up from the spot she was boring into the white tiled floor of the exam room. Beast had long since sat down to hear her narrative. At some point she had taken over from Ororo. Taking a deep breath, she continued.
It was three days before Rogue was able to move again. The lady that had picked her up was familiar with mutants, since two of her grandchildren were too. Waking up in the backseat of the pick-up late the next day, Rogue tried to explain her situation, but fell back asleep in a fevered state. Pia was the lady's name and she was headed for Massachusetts. Considerate of Rogue's plight, she took her home where Rogue recovered from the massive chest cold she had.
She left a week later. Having cried and wallowed for days in a sick bed, Rogue came to the decision that she was better off on her own. At Pia's suggestion, she called Xavier to let him know that she was fine and that no-one was to come after her. Sadly promising her that much, Xavier mourned the loss of another one of his charges. With $83, and clothes that Pia gave her, Rogue headed off to complete the journey that she had started at seventeen.
It was another four months before Rogue made it to Alaska. Stopping and working wherever she needed to, she had saved enough to buy a truck and keep herself fed, sheltered, and mobile. When she got to Alaska, she spent a whole month living on a reservation with Inuit. Alaska was everything she had dreamed it would be, and heading back south again, Rogue felt better than she had since leaving Xavier's. Unsure of what to do next, Rogue decided that Mexico would be her next goal. Packing her few belongings into her aging truck, Rogue headed down the west coast. But like always, life made it so that her plans fell through. Halfway there she met Mike.
Mike Conners was a sheriff of a small town in northern Oregon. Having forgotten to turn on her radar detector from her last gas stop, Rogue sped through the coastal highways doing over a hundred. Following slightly out of range, Mike pulled up alongside Rogue's beat up truck when she pulled over for gas and fast food. Planting himself firmly before her as she ate in the outdoor patio of a dinner, he introduced himself and asked if he could join her.
He was a tall, ruggedly handsome guy with sandy brown hair and curious hazel eyes. Rogue was flattered, but discretely refused and dumped the rest of her lunch. In her time on the road, she had learned to quickly distance herself from people at all costs. Even in casual conversation, the question of who she was, why she wore gloves, and where she was headed always came up. Quickly paying the gas attendant, she hustled into her truck and backed out of the gas stop. But Mike had other ideas. He blocked her path and stepped out of his cruiser in full cop mode. Pointing at the non-blinking detector clipped on her visor, he asked her where she was headed in such a hurry.
Unable to pay the $245 ticket for speeding and verbally assaulting a police officer, Rogue spent that night in jail. Considerably calmer, she was reading Chaucer that night when Mike came around and opened the cell door. In shocked silence she watched him roll in a table with dinner for two. Missing the intimate contact of eating with another human being, something she hadn't done since living with the Inuit, Rogue agreed to have dinner with Mike.
Talking until late at night, he eventually revealed his mutation to her. Holding a champagne glass, he concentrated until it melted into an indistinguishable pile of goo. Shocked once again, Rogue shared her story as well. It was unbelievably liberating and when she was let go the next morning, Mike took a day off and they drove straight to his cabin, where they made love for hours. He was more than a little surprised that she was a virgin, but Rogue didn't have any regrets so neither did he.
Ironically, Rogue still had a problem. Her truck was impounded and flat broke she walked to town the next day in search of work. She liked Mike a whole lot. He was kind, serious, and straightforward, but the Logan in her mind screamed that she leave the next day. It was always simpler that way.
Mike took no time at all to track Rogue down. It was a small town and a girl with white streaks in her hair was pretty easy to find even without an APB. Picking her up at a cranberry juice factory later that day, Mike insisted that Rogue stay with him. Unsure of what to do but desperately wanting a bath and unsure if her watch could get her enough money to stay in a motel for the night, Rogue agreed with a condition. Only until she got paid at the end of the week and got her truck back.
That week eventually turned into months and eventually a year. Mike and Rogue settled into an easy routine. Slowly building a life without the constant memory of Logan, Rogue was happy. Far from conventional, they didn't share true love or plans to grow old together, but they did share understanding and companionship. As a mutant in hiding all his life, Mike felt safe around the quiet, shy girl and on the run for months, Rogue shared the sentiment as well.
Everything was actually quite fine until the day Rogue realized she was late. Missing work and sitting at the edge of the tub a few hours later with a blue tipped response stick, she made the fateful decision that it was time to go home. Mike knew of her previous life with the X-Men and unwilling to have a child of hers lead a life of fear and hiding like she and Mike did, Rogue opted to return to the safety of Xavier's school. Explaining all her reasons why and refusing his offer of money, Rogue packed her things and left on a Tuesday. Making love one last time outside in a camping tent, she left with the promise to love their child unconditionally and Mike's Army Ranger pin. In the end he cried and so did she, but it was a promise both knew Rogue would keep faithfully.
Rogue started her journey cross-country in early March. Trading her truck for a newer, more dependable jeep, she made her way slowly across states she never thought she'd see. Working her way across the nation as she sorted out her feelings about Logan, Jean , Scott, Xavier and everyone else she had left behind, Rogue arrived in New York five months later with more peace than she thought possible.
Looking up at the thought, Rogue regarded her friends shyly. They offered her hugs for her bravery and resolve and Ororo took a minute before taking over and detailing the events of those two years from the other perspective.
Wolverine failed to return to the Mansion that night. Some suspected that he ran away to Canada again or at least managed to catch up to Rogue, but Xavier knew he was lurking in the woods surrounding the Mansion grounds. Scott became Ororo's all encompassing responsibility. She worked hard to keep him from sinking into depression. While Jean secluded herself from the world in her room or in the lab, Scott slowly regained the momentum that made him the leader that he was. Leaning on Ororo for support, he gradually resumed classes and occasionally ran missions that demanded his attention.
Meanwhile, everyone cautiously waited for Logan's return. When he finally showed up a few weeks later, he was wearing the same jeans he had on that day. Dirty, muddy and unshaven, he had run as wild as his namesake in uncontrollable animalistic fury. Regaining his composure again, Logan simply walked up the front door to the Mansion one day. Scott went to see him that night. Standing in the doorway he cleared his throat solemnly and apologized. The older man did the same and the incident was never brought up again.
Jean was a little more complicated. In Logan's absence it became abundantly clear to anyone with eyes that Logan had lost it because Rogue was gone. Withdrawing into herself more, she hardly spoke to anyone anymore. Unlike with Scott, Logan and Jean had no conversation where they forgave and forgot. The attraction that kept them alert to each other's every move for years turned to guilt-laden anxiety that kept them from being within any proximity of each other. What's more, she and Scott shared an awkwardness that pervaded every inch of air space when they were in a room together. They were never alone again. When she lost her fiancé, Jean unwittingly also lost her best friend.
It took months but eventually Xavier's X-Men became a team again. With a few new members to temper the dynamics of the existing ones, they became a force once more. Logan still brooded, Scott channeled his energies into his protégés and Jean lost herself in work, but at least the past was somewhat settled. Not the healthiest expressions of coping, but a start nevertheless.
Ororo shrugged sadly and looked over at Rogue. Knowing the next question, she relented before the smaller woman could get it out of her. Yes - she and Scott were an item. For the past few months their feelings for each other had grown somehow, and although far from established, they had agreed to give a relationship a try. This news jarred Beast out of his trance. It was obviously news for him and smiling crookedly, he congratulated Ororo on her stealth and concluded Rogue's long terminated physical with orders to rest and a prescription for vitamins.
Taking her leave as the bells rung, Ororo left Rogue in the garden with a lunch tray. Giving her ham and cheese sandwich a wry look, Rogue opted for her peach first. It was a beautifully sunny August day, but in the shade it was breezy and not hot to the point that her long sleeved tunic and leggings would be uncomfortable. Settling in with her legs tucked under her, Rogue absentmindedly processed all the information that Ororo had told her. Rubbing her stomach lightly, she wondered if Mike was lonely. Gently shaking her head to rid herself of the guilt, Rogue took another bite before putting the peach back on the tray. She used both hands to rub the underside of her belly where she felt the most pressure and started to half-sing, half-hum a song for her baby.
Logan watched her every move from the far side of the lawn. He had been stalking in the North woods, when the sound of Marie's voice beckoned him. It was broken and low, but on key and soft. Frowning at the way she didn't bother eating her lunch, he stood in silence and watched her run gloved hands over her belly until a group of girls found her and dragged her inside. Covering the distance to where she was sitting, Logan reached down to the peach she left on the tray and bit into the indent. Savoring the remnant taste of her mouth on the ripe fruit, Logan repeated the broken promise he made her two years ago in his mind. It haunted him now more than ever.
-he was tired of running, tired of chasing his past, he was coming home, he wanted her, loved her, only her-
That night he went into her room again. She was showering and he could make out every word she sang to her baby above the rush of water. He could distinguish the drag of the towel over her skin, the squishy sounds of lotion being applied, every brush stroke through her heavy hair. When she finally opened the door into the darkened room and emerged in a haze of steam, he held his breath. Setting the can of beer he was holding down on the windowsill loud enough so she could hear, he also took in the protective hand she clasped on her stomach as she turned. She stared at him an endless moment before speaking.
"What are you doing heah?"
Logan ran his gaze over the cotton gown delicately hanging by straps on her shoulders and breezing over the swell of her belly. He swallowed hard.
"You aren't eating enough."
Rogue squinted in the half-light in an effort to see if he was serious. A lifetime ago, he would frequently sneak up on her. It was a regular thing actually, but the fact that he did it now unnerved her. She was not a kid anymore.
"What?"
Logan dismissed her hesitation and sauntered over to where she was gripping the pole of her four poster bed. Rogue immediately knew he had been drinking, and by the looks of his stagger, quite a bit. She was about to suggest coffee and a nap, when he produced an orange from his pocket. Reaching over with long arms, he sat her down by pressing on her shoulder.
"Lean back."
Rogue opened her mouth to protest, but was quickly met with an arched eyebrow. Saving the energy she would expend arguing, she did as she was told and nervously realized she was exposing a whole lot of skin without her gloves on. Sensing her hesitation, Logan shushed her and sat by her side. To her amazement he rolled the orange in his hands and began peeling it with his thick fingers in one long continuous peel. Still unsure of what to make of his behavior, Rogue gaped when he turned around with a peeled section and brought it to her lips. Cautious of his gloveless fingers and her bare lips, she timidly opened her mouth and bit half of the offering. Logan watched her chew reverently before looking up to meet her eyes.
"You aren't eating enough."
Watching him repeat his rationale with such seriousness, Rogue fought back the sudden urge to laugh. He took no notice and quickly stuffed the rest of the orange section into her mouth. Figuring that she did need a snack, Rogue allowed herself to be fed and chewed quietly. Logan watched her patiently. Rogue knew he was studying her. For the first time ever, she wondered what all her recent weight gain had done to her features. Eventually the orange was gone. Logan got up and gave her a tissue from her bedside box. Wiping her mouth timidly, Rogue watched Logan graze his eyes past her body. Uncomfortable again, she was grateful when he yanked the comforter over her and sauntered away. Rogue watched him walk across the dark and pause at the door.
"I missed you so much."
With that said he stepped away and closed the door. He was gone before she could answer, so she spoke up into the empty room.
"Ah missed ya too."
The following day was a Monday and Rogue fully expected to fall easily into her new routine. She was teaching two courses in English lit in the afternoon and spent the morning reviewing lesson plans. Because it was summer and school was officially out, they were mostly offered for enrichment purposes. Rogue felt capable of doing much more, but Xavier wouldn't hear of it. Slowly reacquainting herself with the dynamics of life at the Mansion, Rogue still found herself with lots of free time.
Walking through the gardens for exercise like Beast suggested and helping plan out the week's menu like Jubilee suggested just wasn't cutting it. Slightly frustrated at being treated like an invalid and annoyed at not being able to see her feet anymore, Rogue meandered through the house and wondered if her socks at least matched. Trying hard to remember where there was a full length mirror to verify this information, she came across Logan stalking down a corridor. Instantly ill at ease, Rogue looked down and tried to pass him with a smile, but to her chagrin he blocked her way. She couldn't help but look up at his hulking frame.
"You're gonna need a nursery."
Rogue brushed her hair out of her face and considered the oddity of the statement he proposed. Considerably more sober but not a whole lot more talkative than the night before, Logan repeated himself.
"You're gonna need a nursery."
Rogue looked down and covered her smile with her hand. It was Logan's turn to look nervous.
"Yes, Ah suppose Ah am."
Logan nodded non-committedly and continued down the hallway. At the stairs he turned around and added.
"I'll start tomorrow."
Rogue stood stunned for a moment or two until the roar of kids coming from recess outside brought her back down to earth. Realizing she was going to be late for her first afternoon class, Rogue moved quickly and wondered at what point she became an adult. Xavier was going to wish he never suggested the idea of teaching to someone named Rogue.
That night when Rogue came back from shopping with the girls, who suddenly wanted to single-handedly finance Baby Gap, she thought twice before opening her door. She half expected Logan to be there, but when he wasn't she felt her heart sink with disappointment. Chastising herself for being stupid, Rogue put away her things and wondered just what Logan had in mind when he said nursery.
What she didn't expect was to find out at seven the next morning. She opened her door to see Logan in full construction de rigueur (jeans, no shirt, tan boots) dragging a toolbox and an ominous looking sledgehammer. Still getting dressed for her morning walk with Bobby, Rogue did a double take when he mumbled something about demolition. Snapping out of her shock, Rogue intercepted Logan who was already backswinging to strike one of her walls. He paused with an annoyed look before explaining that the empty room next to hers would be her nursery.
Still not convinced, Rogue went to complain, but the raised eyebrow paused her once more. Xavier had said so. Wondering if he was lying, Rogue took an unsure step back. Logan took it as a cue and brought the sledgehammer down. Rogue flinched and suppressed a whine at the crumbling hole. Without another word, she turned around on her heel and went to meet Bobby. Hopefully she would have a room to return to.
Hardly able to concentrate on anything else, Rogue spent every second between her busy schedule of two forty minute classes and garden walking, intently watching Logan pummel her walls and saw down wall studs. Slouched on her bed, she pretended to read while taking in the line of sweat that traveled down his back and disappeared at the waistband of his jeans and the way his muscles flexed when he moved. She figured it was pretty pathetic, but she blamed it on the hormones.
People came in to comment and offer suggestions on the project, but Logan just ignored them in his Logan way and quietly stuck to the task at hand. Coughing lightly at the sheetrock dust particles that littered the air, Rogue finally caught his attention. Turning around, Logan wiped his sweaty brow and frowned.
"You shouldn't be in here."
Rogue closed her book.
"It's mah room."
Logan shook his head and took a look around at the fine dust settling on everything. Looking back at Rogue perched on a bunch of pillows, he decided that he wanted her to stay. Moving to the window he flung it open as far as it would go and resumed his work. Rogue smiled despite herself and continued her pretend reading.
Jubilee came to get her an hour later. Rolling her eyes at the mounting rubble, she suggested a trip to pick out nursery patterns. Wondering if Logan could put up wallpaper, Rogue agreed, eased out of the bed, slipped her skippies on and grabbed her purse. Pausing at the door she called out to Logan that she would be back later. Putting down his level, Logan smiled to himself and grunted an acknowledgement without turning around. She cared.
When Rogue came back later, she came with dinner. Pushing open her door, she was surprised to find it empty and clean. The rubble was gone and so was the dust. Only the tools remained, all neatly stacked in one corner. And of course the gaping archway leading to the now empty room next door.
Feeling breath rustle her hair, Rogue spun around and almost lost her balance when she saw Logan behind her. He had taken a shower and his hair was still wet and standing on end. Not wanting to stare, she shoved the KFC bag over to him.
"Brought you dinner."
Logan took the bag and motioned to the hole.
"I'll come back tomorrow."
Rogue looked over and nodded. For the eightieth time that day, she wondered why he would go through so much trouble. With a hand on the doorknob, she was about to turn and ask him just that, when she felt his hand tightened around her upper arm. She was wearing a loose pleasant blouse that ended around there, so she flinched back suddenly. Embarrassed, she watched him pull back and decided to forgo the question for another day. She looked up to meet an incredibly flustered gaze. Trying to make amends, Rogue looked back to the archway.
"It's gonna look real nice, Ah'm sure."
Logan nodded and focused on the spot he just touched on her arm. She felt like silk under the gauzy cotton. Finally clearing his throat he thought of something to say.
"Did you eat?"
Rogue shook her head no. Her bangs closed over her forehead with the effort. Logan brushed some away and brought up the shopping bag. Rogue understood the gesture and closed the door she still had her hand on as way of agreement. Logan all but beamed and carefully took her hand before solemnly leading her down the hallway. With an ache of remembrance, Rogue knew exactly where he was taking her. It was their typical eating spot when they wanted to be left alone. Pausing midway, she looked up at Logan in apprehension.
"Ah…Ah can't."
Logan unconsciously tightened his grip on her hand.
"I'll carry you. It's okay."
Rogue stared at him for a moment. She had meant that she didn't want to go. That they were no longer Logan & Marie, buddies extraordinaire. She didn't wear his tags anymore. He didn't call her Kid. That was gone and they were too far along to go back. She wanted to say all those things, but the intense look in Logan's eyes stopped her. His eyes were haunted and Rogue knew it was also her fault. She opened her mouth again to convey all of this but then closed it and nodded in defeat. Logan breathed relief and continued on down the hall.
When they got to the gable window, Logan handed the brown shopping bag to Rogue and unlatched the window. Swinging one foot out to the roof on the other side, he raised his arms. Rogue shifted nervously and stepped closer to him. Silently putting an arm around his neck, her breath hitched when he caught the undersides of her knees, placed an arm to support her back and wordlessly lifted her out to the other side.
She thought back to the time when she sprained her ankle wrestling with St. John and he carried her in the same way. They ate cheesecake right out of the box and poor St. John spent the rest of the week avoiding Logan like the plague. He even massaged it for her. Snapping back to the here and now when he set her down on the almost horizontal slope, Rogue took her arm back and fiddled with the shopping bag.
Logan moved to the window again and pulled out a worn blanket from the box seat. Rogue blanched a little when she saw it. After all this time, it was still there. Turning to gaze at the lawns below as nostalgia overwhelmed her, Rogue rubbed her temple and tried to forget the smell of Logan's soap. It was Irish Spring, and it hung heavily around him. On her blouse too as a matter of fact.
Logan noticed her turning and temporarily paused before moving to spread out the blanket. The sun was setting behind them and the sky was an interesting shade of pink-orange. Like a grapefruit, his Marie had told him once. She had felt so right, nestled in his arms. The curve of her stomach fit perfectly up against him. She was hesitant to touch him, but it had felt so right. Finishing his task, he finally broke the silence, calling out to her.
"Marie."
Rogue turned and regarded Logan carefully. He could tell that she wanted to cry. Her nose always got red and her bottom lip quivered slightly, but she smiled instead. Walking over to the blanket she handed him the shopping bag and tried to settled down carefully. It was completely ungraceful and shooting Logan a look that dared him to laugh, she slipped off her tennis shoes and flexed her toes. Logan briefly wondered if she'd let him massage her feet, but quickly dismissed the thought and began taking out the various cartons and foam bowls. Rogue watched him silently. Working methodically, Logan laid out the food and finally sat back on his haunches. He quirked an eyebrow at the assemblage.
"Shit Marie, do you think this is enough?"
Rogue bit her lip and shrugged. The urge to laugh and cry fought a battle on her face.
"Ah know you have ah big appetite."
He snorted and began loading up a paper plate for her. Rogue accepted the plate replete with food warily. Apparently he was on the same kick as Kitty and Bobby to overfeed her. Delicately sorting through the fried chicken and mashed potatoes, Rogue took a sip of the enormous Sprite between them. When she looked up, Logan was staring.
"What?"
He shrugged and continued to eat straight out of a carton.
"I thought you Southerners loved this stuff."
Rogue smirked at the fried chicken and biscuits reference. Eventually everyone got around to mentioning it.
"This is fast food Logan, not exactly grandmamma's soul food."
He smiled and bit into a chicken leg. Rogue remembered fondly how much gusto Logan put into eating. It was an all out attack as a matter of fact. Picking at her own plate with a plastic fork, she nibbled her way through half her food in silence. Occasionally she would catch Logan staring at her. But it was still an easy silence. Remembering the hours they spent perfecting quiet, contemplative eating, Rogue admitted that she had missed him more than she bothered to admit. Eventually more at ease, she put the remnants of her meal down and wiped her hands. Taking a long drink of soda, she eased into a more comfortable position on her side. Logan dropped the leg he was devouring and looked over in concern.
"You uncomfortable?"
"Yeah, just sleepy."
He wiped his hands and took a drink of soda. He could still taste her in it.
"You're sleeping a whole lot Marie."
Rogue brushed the hair off her face and settled her head into the crook of her elbow.
"Ah'm fine Logan, just tired."
He wasn't convinced. He started to throw things back into the bag. He was packing up. Overprotective as always.
"You should go see Beast."
Rogue chuckled at the thought.
"Ah saw Beast this morning. An' yesterday. Ah'm fine Logan, promise."
Slightly more at ease, Logan threw the bag to the side and stretched out to consider Rogue carefully. There was a singe mark on the blue blanket in front of him. The time he caught her smoking after having a fight with one of her friends.
"You're still not eating enough."
Rogue couldn't help it. She rolled her eyes.
"Geez Logan, you sound like Bobby, lay off will ya? Ah'm takin' vitamins anyway, so Ah'm covered."
She cradled the underside of her belly. Logan looked down at the rhythmic gesture. Rogue could swear that his eyes darkened. The lines on his forehead smoothed out as his face went lax. She watched the expression for what seemed like hours.
"I'm sorry."
Rogue stopped breathing. The air between them changed somehow. She lowered her voice to match his whisper.
"'Bout what?"
He reached out and delicately flicked a white strand of hair out of Rogue's face.
"Everything. I've never told you that I was sorry."
Rogue still hadn't breathed. She wanted to, but it was caught in her chest. Her thoughts flickered to running in the rain. Crying pressed against Scott. Logan's internal organs splayed out in the hallway. Suddenly queasy, she sat upright and struggled against the urge to throw up. Logan immediately mimicked her movement, cradling her from behind. Rogue pushed his arms away, but he wrapped her in them again and turned to face her.
"What's wrong? Are you okay Kid!"
The last word broke her. Rogue moaned slightly and tried to escape his grasp, but his hands were now on either side of her face, threaded in her hair, and he had no intentions of letting go. Ceasing her fussing, Rogue let the old familiar pain rush her. Scared, Logan let go slowly and Rogue slumped forward. He held her then, feeling soft, broken sobs rack her body.
He muttered words into her hair. Apologies, explanations and more apologies. Rogue eventually stopped crying and wallowed in the feel that was Logan. She wanted to tell him that it was okay. That things just happened. That she realized somewhere between Montana and Missouri that blame was useless and destructive. That they had all suffered enough. That she still loved him, but she didn't know how. Words failed her, so she caught his hand instead. He was petting her roughly, but stopped when he felt her hand close around his.
"Please Logan."
The turmoil in Logan's eyes flared up when Rogue touched him. It had been so long since he had held her. The last time had been when he left and they had kissed. When he had promised to come back for her. Closing his eyes, a single round tear found its way down his cheek. He repeated his mantra.
"I'm so sorry."
Rogue sniffed and tightened her grip on his hand. All around, the sky was darkening to a deep purple. Logan pressed into her and realizing that his hand rested on her stomach, took a moment before stretching it over her. Both noting that it was the first time that he had touched her belly, they pulled slightly apart. Rogue watched carefully as Logan looked for approval in her eyes. Giving him a slight nod, she watched him move his hands carefully over the swell before actually pressing his palms over her. After a few moments of careful exploration, where he felt along every inch, he moved his hands over to one side, looked up and grinned.
"Heartbeat."
Overwhelmed, Rogue smiled. She had forgotten how well Logan could feel things.
"Do ya feel him or hear him?"
Logan pressed down a little harder. He had watched others do it countless times and he had ached to do it too. But the timing had been all wrong - until now. He brought his head down to rest against her stomach and marveled at the swishing sounds inside.
"Both."
Placing one hand on her stomach and one in his hair, Rogue laughed. There were moments when her baby seemed so real, so concrete. This was one of them. But fear eventually drowned out her happiness. Would she be enough? Without thinking, she posed the question.
"Am Ah doing tha right thing Logan?"
Logan closed his eyes and brushed his lips on her stomach before sitting up. Looking up into her face in the dimming light, he felt the undeniable pull to kiss her. Sensing his thoughts, Rogue sat up too and dropped her hands to her side and slightly back for support. Breathing deeply, Logan searched himself for the answer.
"You'll be the best mother ever."
Lost in hazel eyes, Rogue smiled and flushed a little. Logan noted how tired she really was.
"Ah hope so."
With that, Logan stood and helped her up too. Wordlessly grabbing her shoes, he tossed the blanket over the sill and heaved Rogue carefully into his arms. Tired, Rogue put her arms around him and leaned against Logan's chest for added support. To her surprise, he didn't put her down once inside they crossed the window. He continued to walk straight to her room, where he kicked the door open and placed her on her bed. Slightly embarrassed, Rogue pulled at her blouse and mumbled a good night. Logan nodded quietly and left.
That night she dreamt of him. She was running through the forest in the rain. She heard a howl and Erik in her head told her that he was close behind. Increasing her pace, she clutched at her round belly. A pain seared through her and before she could stop herself, she tripped. Tripped over a body. Looking back, she recognized it as Mike. He was staring up at the dark sky with his clear hazel eyes. The water ran in rivulets over his face and around his frame. Choking on her sobs, Rogue stood up and stepped to him when she heard another howl. It made her already clammy skin crawl. In her head, Erik cackled manically. He chanted over and over - run, run, run, run, run. So that's what she did.
Logan heard Rogue's anguished struggle in the pre-dawn hours. Jumping out of his bed, he charged into Rogue's room reminiscent of another place, another time. Blinking at the sight of Rogue writhing in her sheets, he debated if waking her up was the wisest thing to do. Watching her clutch her stomach instinctively, he dropped by her side and shook her awake. Feeling herself being shaken as she ran, ran, ran, Rogue blinked and muttered something that sounded like 'Mike'.
Feeling his heart sink into his stomach, Logan froze temporarily before shaking her harder. This time Rogue felt her body leave the wet landscape completely and bolted up in her bed. Panting rapidly, she stared at Logan incredulously before recognition set in.
"Wha…"
Logan pushed her down softly. Rogue wondered idly if he was wearing gloves, but then instantly closed her eyes to steady her breathing and curled to her side. Without saying a word, Logan brushed her bangs back and wondered who Mike was. Only he already knew. Fighting the instinct in him that raged at the knowledge of another, Logan shook his head and reminded himself that he was to blame.
Checking to see if she was already asleep, Logan leaned over and brushed his lips over Rogue's stomach. Feeling the warmth of her through the fabric, he checked the baby's heartbeat. It too was slowing down from the panic his mother had just felt. Feeling his throat choke up at the thought, Logan gave Rogue's stomach a final chaste kiss before tiredly standing and quietly walking to his own room.
The next morning, Rogue was gone before Logan came knocking. Leaving early on an errand with Scott, Rogue wondered what her dream meant. She faintly recalled Logan waking her up from a nightmare at some point in the night, but her refusal to dwell on the dream made her push the entire incident away and try to enjoy the ride in Scott's convertible.
"Penny for your thoughts."
Rogue looked over at Scott and unconsciously tugged at her seatbelt. She hated how it felt around her midsection, but Scott had refused to even start the car until she put it on. They argued for a good ten minutes about it but eventually he won.
"Just thinkin'."
He raised his eyebrows over his glasses and prompted with a wave of a hand.
"About…"
Rogue removed some flying strands of hair from her face and looked forward again. Where to begin.
"Nothin' in particular, just everythang."
Scott gripped the wheel again. Safety fanatic that he was, he always had his hands perfectly positioned at 10 and 2 o'clock.
"Fine, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."
He flashed her a puppy dog look, with pout and everything. Rogue smacked him on the arm and briefly wondered just why some people had to be perfect. When Scott smiled, he was perfect.
"You know. It's this whole situation. It's got me thinkin', wonderin'."
The playful smile disappeared. The big brother look was back and he stammered.
"You regret coming back? You can't leave again Rogue. Not in your condition. If it means……."
Rogue shook her head and chuckled nervously.
"No, it's not that Scott. It's just that……this is real hard."
Scott searched her face. His knuckles turned white on the steering wheel, before he flexed his fingers around the hard leather. Without any preamble whatsoever, he swerved over to the shoulder of the road and removed the key from the ignition. He turned to look at Rogue, who just shrank in the bucket seat and blinked at him.
"Is it Logan? Is he bothering you?"
Rogue quickly looked to a safe spot over his shoulder. She had had one too many heart to hearts these past three days. This one she hadn't even expected.
"No."
Her voice sounded way too unsure. He surprised her by lifting her hair protected chin up to meet his gaze head on.
"You're lying."
Rogue stared at Scott's calm, understanding features. Even when he was arguing, he was so damn together. She thought back to that awful week they spent in New York. It was the only time she had ever seen him loose total control.
Rogue really didn't want to have this conversation, but experience taught her that Scott could be as relentless as Logan when he wanted to know something. She slowly removed herself from his touch and settled her eyes on the console between them. There was a row of glimmering quarters there, neatly spaced for any and all emergency toll situations. Rogue found that idea funny, but didn't laugh. She briefly wondered how patient Scott could be and deciding that he was a lot more patient than her, she began in a slow voice.
"It's not that. It's not that he's botherin' me Scott."
The quarters losing their interest, Rogue started picking at the rounded hem of the soft cotton shirt she was wearing. It was Scott's. Ororo had given it to her the day before, along with a half-dozen others, when she had casually mentioned that a man's shirt and leggings were just about the only clothing that felt comfortable. She looked up nervously and Scott had yet to move. He was as patient as they came.
"On the contrary, he's being real," she wondered what the right word was. "nice."
She checked back at Scott's expression. His brow was wrinkled. It meant he was thinking. Still he didn't say anything so Rogue continued in her impromptu confessional.
"When Ah came back, Ah guess Ah expected him to stay away, to hate me and keep his distance……but instead he's been just what he's always been." Rogue sighed heavily at the thought.
"It's just like old times again and Ah don't know how ta feel about that."
Great epiphany over, Rogue slumped even further into her seat. Her eyelashes were moist. Scott saw this and shifted in his seat. He could really do without seeing women cry. Especially ones he cared so much about. Gripping the wheel again he closed his eyes behind the red ruby quartz and started slowly.
"Look Rogue, this whole thing…I wasn't going to get involved, but I don't like seeing you like this. It's not good for you."
He ruffled his hair. A large trailer truck sped by messing it up again.
"Logan,……he still……loves you."
Rogue looked at Scott blearily. In all the years she's known him, he had objected to her relationship with Logan at all costs. In the beginning he did his best to disway her from loving him, waiting for him, hoping. It was no secret that he couldn't tolerate Logan and more times than she cared to remember, Scott had gotten into screaming matches with him over his disregard for her curfews, letting her drink, taking her to seedy places - basically being with her at all, what he called feeding her crush. No wonder she was shocked to hear him finally say what everyone else had known for years. And there was more.
"He can be hard to read sometimes, but there is no doubt in my mind now that he cares for you more than anything. When you left, he came back for only one reason. He knew you'd come back someday and he wanted to be here when you did. We were all pretty fucked up, but Logan was a wreck. He's been waiting all this time."
He took a deep breath and finally looked over. His grip on the stearing wheel got tighter.
"He's been waiting for you."
Still reeling, Rogue let a croak escape her lips. She didn't know what to say. She knew he cared. It was hard not to know, but love? Could it be possible? Even now, after all this time. Sensing Rogue's turmoil, Scott repeated the gesture he had earlier and cupped her face. Rogue tried to convince herself to not cry in vain. He swiped at one tear than another with the corner of the shirt collar. Recognizing the faded oxford, he grinned.
Taking his hand back, Scott turned to the road for a silent moment before turning on the ignition. Taking a brief look at oncoming traffic, he merged onto the road again and resumed on their mission. Rogue for her part, just watched him drive. Cradled in her seat, she rubbed her stomach and mulled over Scott's words. Logan waited for her. The thought was as frightening as it was enticing. Still crying slowly, she closed her eyes and savored the feel of her long hair whipping around her in the wind. Occasionally checking on his passenger, Scott drove in silence and wondered how the next chapter of this ongoing drama would unfold.
That afternoon, Ororo got the shock of her life when Scott proposed in front of the whole assembled student body. Or rather, when the entire student body proposed for him. Stepping unsuspectingly out onto the backyard deck chatting easily with Kitty, Ororo was assaulted by the sight of 247 people arranged in a bleacher format holding up a banner that the younger kids made in art class. It read 'Please Say Yes!!!' On Jubilee's cue, they all screamed, 'will you marry me' in unison.
Shocked, the goddess just gaped until Scott emerged from the side and got down on one knee. Smiling from one ear to the next, he solemnly asked Ororo to make him the happiest man alive and she did by saying yes. In a singular moment, the entire school burst into roaring and cheering. Even Jean seemed happy. In an amazing home, where amazing things happened all the time, it was a magical moment that would never be forgotten by its residents.
Breathless from all the excitement and not to mention a lingering kiss from Scott, Ororo eventually made it to where Rogue was immortalizing the moment with her camera. Giving her friend a heartfelt hug, Rogue and the girls poured over the ring she helped pick out earlier while the yard jumped to life with music and a game of girls versus guys touch football that Xavier's was famous for. Even the younger kids played, and Rogue served as the designated bandaid dispenser and booboo cleaner along with Beast until the pizzas arrived an hour later. Feeling the stress of tiredness in her aching feet, Rogue seized the moment to make a beeline to the deck, where she sat on the steps heavily to watch the commotion before her.
As always, Logan was stalking the entire scene from afar and soon found himself making a similar line to the deck steps. Coming in from behind, he startled Rogue by plopping down next to her and offering a Snapple. Kiwi-strawberry, her favorite. They hadn't been together since the night before, but since so much had happened, Rogue was at a loss as to what to say. She settled on the festivities.
"I've never seen them look so happy."
Logan took a drink of his beer and tracked said couple with his eyes. Rogue drank her juice for a lack of anything else to do.
"Agreed."
Rogue looked back over the crowd. So many happy kids milling about. Half were orphaned, abandoned or forsaken like her - yet they seemed so happy, so content. She unconsciously rubbed her stomach, satisfied at the thought that at Xavier's her baby would never be alone. Never be a freak. Just one of a bunch. Happily milling about.
Sensing a pair of eyes on her, Rogue looked over and blushed. She had been daydreaming. Logan's look was amused, but then turned slightly more serious.
"He'll be happy here."
Surprised that he had been thinking the same thing she had, Rogue grinned and looked over the crowd again.
"Yeah, that's fer sure."
Feeling like she needed to fill the silence, Rogue ventured another safe question.
"Did you work on the room today?"
Logan took another drink and nodded an affirmative.
"Should be done this weekend. I stripped and sanded today. Gonna paint tomorrow and lay down a new floor and fixtures by Friday, should be ready this weekend."
Rogue nodded mutely at the information, not knowing exactly what it all meant. Noticing the fine dust caught in the dark hairs of his arms, she ventured another polite question.
"You gonna go back know."
Logan finished his beer and set the glass bottle down on the weathered deck. The moisture rolled down the green glass and formed a wet ring on the gray wood.
"Yeah, just wanted to see old One-eye and 'Ro take the plunge."
Rogue looked down over the crowd again. Bobby had just given Jubilee a kiss on the cheek and was being chased around by her. The chase ended abruptly when Remy tripped him and Jubilee descended on poor Bobby with her fists. Funny how they could still play those games. Even the freshman were rolling their eyes.
Smiling at the not so subtle (or sophisticated) flirting, Rogue unconsciously flexed her toes in her tennis sneakers. Logan noticed that detail and got up. Hitching his jeans up by his enormous belt, he extended a hand to Rogue.
"You shouldn't be sitting on these hard steps. Com' on."
Rogue hesitated but eventually raised a hand. Without any effort at all, Logan brought an unsteady Rogue to her feet. Slightly embarrassed at the ungraceful handling of her own body, Rogue looked down at her feet. Only she couldn't see them. Only the stupid 'Baby on Board' T-shirt that Scott had gotten her that morning. He had actually made her get it by sitting in the lounge chairs outside the maternity store fitting room and refusing to budge. Something a five year old would do. To top it off, it was pink. Rogue hated pink, and she was pretty sure that Scott had known that.
Leading her by the hand, Logan walked around the wrap around deck to where there was lawn furniture. Rolling a long chaise to a comfortable angle away from the beaming sun, he pulled her to it. Frowning at the thought of having to settle down again, Rogue sighed heavily and looked at Logan.
"Ah hate this part."
Smiling at the obvious effort it took to maneuver her weight, Logan helped Rogue ease back down to a reclining position.
"That kid is gonna be huge."
Rogue smiled as she flicked her bangs back.
"Ya telling me. Beast told me Ah was at my optimum 32nd week weight."
Logan raised a funny eyebrow at the statement. Rogue took a second to clarify.
"Ah'm at 26 weeks."
Logan shrugged in semi-understanding and handed her the kiwi-strawberry Snapple before taking his place at the foot of the chaise. Before she could protest, he started to unlace her tennis shoes. Rogue sat up.
"What are ya doin'?"
Logan flicked the shoes off and started kneading.
"What does it look like I'm doing?"
Rogue considered her options and then decided that the soft caressing of her undersides was all good. She leaned back gently and clasped her fingers under her belly. Despite the gruff demeanor, Logan never stopped surprising her with his kindness.
"How did ya know my feet hurt?"
Logan snorted in amusement.
"If I were truckin' around a stomach like that, my feet would hurt plenty."
Rogue kicked at his thigh before taking a sip of her juice and gazing over at the crowd again.
"Yer goin' ta spoil me."
Logan kept up his careful kneading of Rogue's socked feet. He had forgotten how small her feet were. How could you not fall flat on your face with feet that small?
"You hafta take care of yourself better."
Rogue moaned in annoyance.
"Ah'm not disabled or anything. Women have babies all tha time."
Logan pushed his thumbs to the balls of her feet.
"Still, you're kinda small to be this big and you don't even eat right."
A flicker of worry passed Rogue's eyes. Unconsciously her hand moved to cradle her belly again. Despite Beast's assurances, she still worried constantly about her mutation during birth. Logan caught the momentary doubt and ceased his messaging.
"But, you'll be fine."
Rogue smiled weakly. She'll be fine. Behind them a flash went off. Ororo laughed as she shuffled up the stairs, held closely by Scott.
"My, my, who's the goddess now?"
Rogue blushed slightly and pulled her feet under her.
"Hey ya guys."
Logan stood up and stretched a little. He extended a hand to Scott who let go of Ororo's waist only long enough to shake it.
"Congratulations."
"Thank you, sometimes a man gets lucky."
Scott planted a kiss on Ororo's white hair and Rogue smirked knowingly at the other woman who tactfully disentangled herself from her fiancés' arms and walked over to take Logan's place.
"Ain't that the truth."
The couple shared a heated look from their prospective places and Logan and Rogue looked away from each other. Suddenly feeling like a third wheel, Logan cleared his throat.
"Gonna get back to work."
Scott called out to him before he reached the French doors.
"We're headed out tonight, just us grown ups, you coming?"
Logan didn't look too convinced. He was about to refuse when Ororo spoke up.
"It just wouldn't be the same without you Logan."
He mused over the request, stealing a look over to Rogue. She was clasping tightly onto the other woman's hand. They still couldn't get past the ring. She would definitely be going.
"Sure, what time?"
Scott smiled and walked over behind Rogue's chaise. Ruffling her hair in an all out effort to annoy her, he beamed down at Rogue's upturned face before looking up.
"Ten sharp."
With a slight nod, Logan agreed and left the three to fawn over the enormous ring some more.
As expected, her room was put back together again by the time she went upstairs. It was still early, so she figured she could squeeze in a quick nap. Shuffling around her bed to the open archway, she peered into the new space that would be her son's and marveled at the sudden reality of it all. She had yet to take a good look at the room and standing in the archway looking at the stripped and primed walls ready for painting, she wondered for the millionth time if she would be enough to raise a child on her own.
Rubbing her hated pink 'baby on board' t-shirt, she thought back to the promise she had made Mike a lifetime ago in the camping tent. She would love him more than anything - unconditionally. That would be enough. Rogue sighed heavily and turned back to her bed. She was tired, real tired. Slightly annoyed that she couldn't lie down on her stomach, she carefully curled around a pillow and let her heavy eyelids close. Three minutes later she was in a deep sleep. Ten minutes later she was in a familiar rainy dreamscape.
Rogue ran and ran. It seems that's all she had ever done. The sinews in her thighs ached, her calves flexed painfully, her shins felt about ready to splinter. Her whole body tensed painfully at the exertion, but she had no choice. Erik-in-her-head prompted her on mercilessly. Run, run, run, run.
Above her, a lightning bolt ripped the sky in two. The thunderclap that followed a few breaths later deafened her for a few moments. Clutching at her ears to drown the sound, Rogue felt the first stab to her stomach. Looking down, she took in the swell that wasn't there a few minutes ago. Whimpering in the pain, she slowed her pace.
This was wrong. She had always worn jeans and boots. Now she had on leggings. The thin material no protection for the protruding branches that scratched and clawed at her. The thin white sneakers she was wearing were getting caught in the mud. With every step, she sank further and further until in one twisting motion the mud grabbed hold and didn't let go. Losing her balance, Rogue tripped forward, landing hard on her knees.
Sobbing at the pain that jolted through her, Rogue turned around. Her socked foot already a liability to her, she tore it off before looking to see what had tripped her. It was a body. Mike. But not really. It was someone else. Looking down at her flat stomach, Rogue realized with horror that it was her son. The son that was to be. As if to confirm her horrible discovery, lightening tore the sky again. In the brief light she saw the unmistakable eyes. Chocolate eyes. Eyes that stared up at the sky, paying no mind to the torrent of rain that bombarded them.
Sobbing at the realization that they would no longer see, Rogue brought her hands to her forehead. Just as she did, she caught the movement in her peripheral vision. In terror she watched the body of her son sit up. Deep in the forest, but approaching fast, she heard a howl. A deep, guttural, bloodcurdling howl that jarred her senses awake. Erik-in-her-head laughed -dear girl, don't just stand there, run, run, run, run-
Rogue awoke with a whimper. The first thing she noticed was the heavy scent of Irish Spring. Grabbing at the pillow she was clutching, she rocked herself back and forth, back and forth until her terrorized brain could finally discern the voice calling to her. It was Logan. Sweet, sweet Logan. Abandoning the pillow for a warmer comfort, Rogue clutched at Logan for a few seconds before another voice helped pull her out of the terrifying rain.
It was Jean. Rogue blinked at the thought and slowly eased the grasp she had on Logan's t-shirt. With the realization that she was babbling, came self-awareness. Pushing at his chest completely, Rogue threaded her gloved hands in her hair and clenched her eyes. She could finally make out what was being said.
"Ah'm okay, Ah'm okay."
Logan and Jean exchanged looks.
"You don't look okay, let Jean take a look at you downstairs Kid."
Rogue perked up at the thought. She pushed at the pillows surrounding her and tried to stand up.
"No. No. Ah'm fine!."
Jean shrunk back visibly. Rogue wasn't to far gone to not have noticed. She finally looked up at the redhead's green eyes and saw the pain. She reached out to her just as Logan stepped to the other side of the bed and braced her as she got up.
"Ah'm sorry Jean, Ah'm okay really. Just ah nightmare."
She pleaded understanding with her still dilated eyes and Jean smiled tightly.
"It's okay Rogue. I'll send Beast up in a minute."
With that she turned and left the room. Rogue still teetered on weak legs. She made a lunge for the retreating beauty and almost tripped. Thankfully, Logan managed to steady her.
"Jean please!"
The doctor paused and turned slowly. The two women regarded each other warily. Jubilee and Bobby now appeared at the doorway and sensing the tension, kept uncharacteristically silent. Not sure how to put it, Rogue straightened out on her two feet and clutched the bedpost. All five people waited breathlessly for…something.
"Ah'd appreciate it if ya take ah look at me."
Jean's lips twitched slightly. It could have been tension. It could have been relief. For a moment her green eyes sparkled, then she shrugged and put her hands into the enormous pockets of her white lab coat.
"That would be good."
Glancing up at Logan for a split second, Jean nodded slightly and walked out of the room before the tears spilled over. Thinking it might be best to let the kids take her, Logan squeezed Rogue's hand before nodding to her friends. Jubilee and Bobby quickly did the honors and before long Rogue was perched on an exam table, being questioned and prodded by two very overly-cautious doctors.
She had told them about the nightmares and they had prescribed natural sleep aids. Taking actual notes on a pad, Jubilee and Bobby wrote down such tried and true home remedies such as warm milk and relaxing baths. Slightly embarrassed at all the fuss, Rogue rubbed her hated 'baby on board' t-shirt and grinned sheepishly.
"Ah think that Ah'll be fine guys, really."
Beast pushed his glasses up further up his nose and scanned over her file.
"Just make sure you tell the cook of these new diet modifications, and alert us to any changes."
Jean took the file and jotted a few more notes.
"And on Monday, we'll try a second sonogram to check up on baby."
Still hating her pink shirt, Rogue nodded her head and smiled.
"Sure thing docs, although Ah'm sure Bobby hear will be sending you updated memos every hour on tha hour."
Said character lifted his head up from his diligent note-taking with a look of complete cluelessness.
"What?"
Everyone chuckled and Jubilee actually planted a smacking kiss on his forehead. He actually blushed.
"Nothin' babe. Just stay that sweet would ya?"
Rogue looked around for her slippers.
"So if you guys don't mind, ah think it's time ta get ready for our night out on tha town."
At that, everyone mumbled excitedly. Beast excused himself with the excuse that he needed to shave. Jubilee clapped excitedly at the remembrance of her new dress and Bobby was still out of it from his kiss. Only Jean stood silent, turning to put Rogue's exponentially growing file back into a cabinet. Rogue walked over in her socks.
"Jean, Ah know you'd be more than welcomed ta come."
Jean turned and flustered with her lab coat pockets.
"That's okay Rogue, I don't think I would really belong."
Rogue shook her head defiantly.
"You're part of this team. Family."
Jean gulped at the word. It had been a while since anyone had said that to her. She wanted to be part of a family. The last person she expected to comprehend that was Rogue. With a knot in her throat, she relented.
"I guess, I can tag along."
Rogue bit her lip to keep from smiling too blatantly.
"You should bring that guy you're always talking on your cell phone with."
Jean blushed. Her freckles came out in full force when she did. It made her look young again.
"I didn't think I was that obvious."
Rogue smirked and walked back to Jubilee who had snatched Bobby's pad and was moving it from hand to hand behind her back. The pair quit fussing long enough to hear Rogue's last statement and giggle at Jean's blush.
"Sugah, you never get off tha phone. It's very obvious. 'Sides it's 'bout time you bring this fella home."
An hour later, Kitty declared the amount of hairspray fumes in Jubilee's room too toxic for a pregnant woman. Ushering Rogue downstairs to the living room, she ordered every waiting male along the way to shut their eyes. Plopping Rogue down on a sofa next to Remy, she scrambled upstairs before anyone thought to peak at her to finish applying her make-up. Logan found Rogue there a few minutes later when he came down to wait.
Remy was in the middle of dazzling and astounding her and some of the kids still walking around in footie pajamas with a card trick when she threw her head back in a burst of laughter. She was pointing at the right sleeve of his jacket and the Cajun, card-flipping whiz was adamantly denying being caught in broken French. Still laughing, Rogue ordered the kids to jump him. They did exactly that and Logan could barely suppress a chuckle when the half dozen kids brought the Cajun down to the floor tickling and hollering at all the cards he had stuffed up his sleeves.
Begging for mercy, Rogue made Remy promise the kids ice cream the next day if they let up the attack. Agreeing wholeheartedly, Remy played dead while the kids claimed victory and ran off to tell their roommates how they brought down an X-Men. Turning to yell at them to slow down as they rushed up the stairs, Rogue caught Logan watching the whole scene with amusement. Already flushed, she turned an even brighter red.
"Hi theah Logan."
He ambled over and took Remy's place on the sofa. The Cajun collected the rest of his scattered cards with flair and promised Rogue he'd get her back before walking off to see if any girls wanted to ride with him for the night. Logan turned slightly to face Rogue, all dressed in a deep blue. She looked significantly better than when he woke her just a few hours earlier.
"You feelin' better Marie?"
Rogue looked over at the handsome man next to her. It took very little dressing up to make Logan a total babe. Blaming the hormones for her quickening heartbeat, Rogue nodded and looked down at her short satin gloves.
"It was just ah dream."
Logan didn't care for her quick dismissal. The concern was pretty evident in his face.
"It looked real intense. How long you been having them?"
Rogue checked her response at her tongue.
"For ah while now, on and off."
Logan didn't miss the retracting tone. She was never a good liar. Figuring they started the day she came back, he made a mental note to talk to Xavier. Feeling her anxiety rise, Logan broached a more pleasant topic.
"You look great."
Rogue stared at him for a moment before bursting into laughter.
"Yer such ah liar."
Logan raised his eyebrows.
"What? It's true."
Rogue flipped her hair self-consciously.
"Ya gotta be kiddin' me. Ah'm as big as ah house Logan. Ah can't even see my shoes. Ah'm trustin' Kitty's not colorblind."
Rogue nervously stopped laughing. She felt Logan's hot gaze travel slowly down her body. His lips tightened as he did so. She was wearing a medieval looking blue georgette dress with wide flowing trumpet sleeves and a low cut bodice that ended right above her knees in a full skirt. She wasn't too sure about the length, but Kitty assured her that the low matching pumps made her chubbier than normal legs look good. Satisfied that they were comfortable and her dress was breathable, Rogue relented, but the way Logan grazed past her swollen chest which was accentuated even further with a sash that ran under her chest and tied behind her back made her hold her breath. When he finally looked up, she was mesmerized by the dark angularity of his features.
"You really do look great."
He had said those words in a breathless whisper that she had never heard before. Speechless, Rogue fixated on Logan's slow moving lips. She bit her own in an effort to snap out of her haziness. It had been so long since she had been kissed and looking at Logan's lips made her wonder if she could hold out any longer. She absently fiddled with the hem of her dress and breathed shakily through her mouth.
Noticing the longing in her eyes and the change in her scent, Logan's heart rate increased. Not breaking eye contact, he slowly thread the hand he had resting on the couch, up into Rogue's hair. Rogue's eyes went wide at the touch and then fluttered at the feel of his breath on her lips. He was leaning into her and feeling the hand positioned at the base of her head turn her up slightly, she finally closed her eyes and sighed at the feel of her blue georgette scarf on her shortly followed by Logan's full lips.
Savoring the feel of her thick hair and plump lips, Logan deepened their kiss. He had thought of little else in the last few days, but he figured it was the last thing on her mind. He had obviously never heard of a pregnant woman's libido. Feeling Rogue moan slightly and part her lips to him, Logan pressed down harder and kissed her for all he was worth. Rogue's hands come up to grasp his neck and he arched his body over the soft curve of her stomach to gently cup a breast.
Lost in the feel of her body barely separated by soft fabric, Logan almost missed the sound of Kitty giggling and St. John being tripped down the stairs. Pulling back with lightning speed, he straightened out and turned around in time before Scott burst in. Still flushed and now thoroughly embarrassed, Rogue barely had enough time to catch the scarf that fell to her lap and pull down the hem of her dress. Scott looked at her disheveled hair and swollen lips curiously before looking at Logan, who was standing by a window, discretely facing away.
"I, uh, I just came to get you guys. We're leaving."
Rogue snapped out of her haze long enough to smooth out her hair and try to stand up. Scott gave her a hand.
"That's fine sugah, lead tha way."
Scott peered into her still flushed face and smiled crookedly.
"You look good."
Rogue walked quickly out of the room. Behind her, Logan chuckled to himself.
"So I was saying."
Scott repressed a grin and took the keys from his pocket.
To Logan's great annoyance the X-Men ended up going to a small jazz bar instead of a restaurant to celebrate Scott and Ororo's engagement. Filling half the available seats when the entourage waltzed in, he made sure he went around growling at anyone who was even thinking about smoking before settling in with Ororo, Scott and Rogue.
Still confused and very embarrassed about what happened on the living room couch, Rogue refused to look directly at Logan, even though he was seated directly across from her on the tiny table. He on the contrary hardly took his eyes off her. Scott noticed this and in the first available opportunity after Xavier's opening toast, asked Ororo to dance, leaving the two at the table alone.
Her level of anxiety crashing through the roof, Rogue fiddled with the straw in her strawberry smoothie and twirled strands of her hair for an eternity until she couldn't take it any longer. Straightening out and leaning over the table so that he could hear her over the music, she finally confronted Logan's gaze head on.
"Why are ya staring at me Logan?"
Logan took a really slow drink of his Dewar's on the rocks before setting it down on the table. His lips were turned slightly into a smile, but his dark eyes were as intense as ever.
"Why are you trying not to look?"
Rogue blinked a little before setting her jaw tightly. She was not really aware that she was doing it.
"Am not."
Snorting at the child-like response, Logan scooted over on the c-shaped booth seat and took Ororo's seat by Rogue. She tensed visibly at the proximity but tried not to show it.
"Are too."
Rogue snapped her gaze back at Logan. He was clearly amused, but Rogue couldn't pinpoint at exactly what.
"Quit playing games with me Logan."
The smile vanished and Rogue tightened her grip around the fluted glass she was holding.
"I couldn't be more serious."
He had leaned in so close, the words ruffled her bangs. Swallowing hard, Rogue fought the urge to look down to his lips. They were her downfall. She opened her mouth to say something, but the arm he snaked around her waist without her noticing, pulled her in a little closer. He whispered against her ear.
"And I think you feel the same way too."
Without pausing, he moved down to kiss the space on her neck protected by her scarf. Gasping slightly at the warmth, Rogue closed her eyes and moved her head slightly to give him greater access. Logan didn't waste the opportunity and suckled harder. Moving his free hand to her lap, he inched it up her nylon encased thigh. Faintly remembering that they could be seen despite the dark corner they were tucked away in, Rogue moved her hands from the glass she was holding to brace herself against Logan's frame. With one hand on his thigh and another on his chest, she pushed him away with some effort. Panting slightly, it took considerable work to find words.
"They c-could see us."
Logan pulled back with a quirky smile. He regretfully removed his hand from her thigh and took a quick look around before regarding Rogue easily.
"No-one's seen us."
Frustrated with herself, Rogue tugged at her dress and inched away slightly.
"Either way, Ah don't think we should…"
Not wanting to hear those particular words fall from her mouth, Logan tightened his grip on her hip and turned her face to meet his.
"Don't say it. Maybe this is too fast, but don't say this is a mistake. That would kill me."
Rogue swallowed hard. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see people approaching. The pain in his eyes was clear as day.
"Ah would never say that Logan."
He too noticed the approaching pair and quickly dropped the hand that held her face. There was something that flickered through his eyes that Rogue couldn't pinpoint. He brought his drink up to his lips and mumbled before he took a sip.
"Just please, no regrets."
Ororo eased into the spot next to Logan giving him a hundred watt smile. She was laughing and breathless and Rogue noticed tiredly, happier than she had ever seen her before. Scott was laughing at a joke they shared and without sitting down, he pulled at Marie's gloved hand.
"Com'on Rogue, let's dance."
Storm took a sip of her awaiting Black Russian.
"Oh, I'd pay to see that. This man of mine has no rhythm."
Logan chuckled and Scott grinned ruefully at his fiancé before winking at her and pouting at Rogue.
"I've got enough."
Even though she wasn't feeling particularly cheery, Rogue smiled at their infectious laugh and allowed herself to be pulled out of the booth. The hand that Logan had at her hip, eased away without anyone but her noticing, leaving a warm spot where it lay.
Looking down at the floor under her, Rogue got pulled to a corner, where she smiled sadly at Scott before leaning into his chest. She usually circled her arms around his waist, but with junior in the way, she settled for hooking her thumbs at his sides. Scott chuckled at the action and since he was pretty tall, he rested his chin on her head. A slow sad song was playing, and they each swayed silently, comfortable in the knowledge that they would always have a friend in each other. It had been forever since they danced, and it was like old times.
Occasionally looking back at the table, Rogue caught glimpses of Logan drinking and idly talking to Ororo. Eventually Jean and her new boyfriend passed by and she introduced him. Rogue had met him on the way over. He was also a doctor and seemed like a real nice guy. To everyone's shock, he was not a mutant. Rogue sighed wistfully at the thought before looking down at her hands. Jean always passed for normal and in a way it wasn't shocking at all. Watching them move on to the next table where Remy was obviously trying to get Kitty drunk, Rogue turned her sights back to Logan.
With his wild black hair pointed all over the place, he looked gorgeous. He had worn a black denim shirt and slightly unbuttoned, she could make out a tuft of chest hair that was just as dark. Rogue stared shamelessly until in a surreal moment, he looked straight up at her and smiled. Rogue wanted to smile back, but he looked down too fast. Mortified, Rogue cursed her hormones and sighed heavily. Scott lifted his chin from Rogue's hair and smiled down at her.
"Am I that boring a dancer?"
Rogue blushed and actually buried herself deeper into his chest.
"Ah'm sorry. Just don't feel that hot."
Scott grinned knowingly.
"It looked pretty hot from where I was standing a few minutes ago."
Rogue's face shot up. She frowned at the mischievous grin Scott wore.
"You were spying on me!"
Scott pushed her head back to his chest and moved gently to the music.
"It's not spying if you're making out in public……or in the living room."
Indignant, Rogue pushed back again. Scott knew he was two seconds away from being cursed out. He placated her by shoving her back against his chest and petting her like you would a dog.
"Sorry, sorry, that was mean. I'm not being overprotective."
"Yes you are. Ah'm a grown woman…"
At that, Scott chuckled again.
"Real grown."
His insensitive comment was met by a pinch to his midsection. He flinched and accepted the punishment gracefully.
"Pig."
They swayed some more and Rogue's gaze eventually swept to Logan again. He had gone to Xavier's side and was trying not to laugh at something Jubilee just said. Rogue felt her heart heave and looked away. Scott fiddled with her hair and wondered how to broach the subject. If he didn't, Ororo was going to have his head. At some point, he had been selected matchmaker for these two and for once he wished that he wasn't always designated 'Mr. Fix it.'
"Look Rogue, all kidding aside, it's great to see you two together."
Rogue frowned against his shirt.
"You think it's good Ah can't keep my hands off Logan?"
It was Scott's turn to frown.
"That's not exactly what I mean Rogue."
She turned to look up at his expression. Sex talks always made Scott's ears turn as red as his shades and as conflicted as she was, she couldn't pass the opportunity to irk him go by. The time he caught her, Jubilee, and Kitty sneaking condoms from his drawer and had 'the talk' still served to amuse and entertain at dinner parties.
"What do ya mean then?"
Rogue actually blinked and Scott smirked and shifted a little. They were no longer moving in time with the music.
"You know what I mean Rogue. I'm not telling you to throw yourself at him, just that, I dunno, you guys are real good for each other and that, umm, you should consider that because he,"
Scott stopped his rambling long enough to look down at Rogue's eyes. She wasn't playing anymore. She was actually holding her breath in anticipation of what he was going to say next.
"Because he loves you."
Noting the brown eyes darken and move away, Scott completed the thought.
"And because you love him too."
Finally feeling her tears escape, Rogue brushed at her cheeks and leaned against Scott once again. She knew that she loved him. And he loved her. It sounded right. Even more so when Scott said it. When he used that decisive fearless leader voice, everything sounded so concrete, so sure. She repeated the words, testing them out in her own voice to see how they felt in her ears.
"'Cause Ah love him too."
Scott grinned into her hair and kissed her on the head.
"That's right, you do."
Rogue wrapped her mind around the finality of those words. He loved her. She loved him too. Could it be that simple? Could it be that easy? Her stomach slightly queasy, she closed her eyes. It's what she had wanted for so long. Someone to love back.
Lost in her thoughts, Rogue was startled when she felt Scott pull away. The song had ended and the floor was clearing. Still thinking about Scott's apparent about face in his feelings about Logan, she followed mutely back to the table. Once there she sank into the leather booth with a sigh and stared into the candle flickering on the table. Scott brushed her bangs out of her face.
"Hey, you okay? You look really tired."
She was about to answer when Logan joined them. He had switched back to beer. He set the bottle down and slapped Scott on the back.
"Ro was right, you are a lousy dancer."
Scott grinned at the shorter man before looking back at Rogue. Logan recognized the look. It was the all business look.
"Do you want to go home then?"
Rogue shifted under the scrutiny. Logan's smile vanished. Behind them, lively music started up again. The tables cleared.
"You guys are the most overprotective men ah have ever met, ya know that?"
Neither was swayed by her playful tone. Scott fished his keys out of his pocket.
"Well, either way, party's over for you miss."
Rogue was going to object, but Logan beat her to it.
"I'll take her, you're the guest of honor remember?"
Scott took all of two seconds to agree.
"If you insist, just make sure you sober up first."
Logan nodded in all seriousness and grabbed the blue purse on the table.
"Already working on it."
Rogue looked disbelieving at the two men.
"Hey, Ah never said ah was goin' anywhere."
They briefly glanced at her before resuming their conversation. Scott handed his keys to Logan and helped Rogue to her feet.
"Take my car, don't worry I'll tell everyone you left early and……be careful."
The last part was told to Rogue directly and was followed by a wink. Without skipping a beat, Logan gave Scott his bike keys and took Rogue's hand from his.
"Sure thing, One-eye. Go work on those moves."
Scott disappeared and Logan put an arm around a defeated Rogue. Still mumbling about unfairness and being treated like a child, Rogue was herded out of the bar and into the parking lot in no time. But remembering the hated seatbelt, she quietly eased into the passenger seat of the convertible without saying a word.
To her dismay, Logan leaned over her and started to buckle her in without any prelude or comment whatsoever. What's more, he was stalling. Rogue stared at him while he fiddled to widen the contraption with a smile. Maybe he still treated her like a kid, but it was so familiar, so comforting. She reached over and clicked the device in place. He looked up with an arched eyebrow.
"Leave it to One-eye to get a car like this. Lousy taste. That's why I prefer bikes."
Rogue stifled a giggle. He picked out the BMW key from the bunch and clicked it into the ignition.
"But it's his bike that yer still runnin' around on, sugah."
Logan's brow wrinkled painfully and he looked at her thoughtfully.
"Shit, you know, I totally forgot. It's been so long."
Rogue giggled some more and Logan turned the car on with a smile. After pointing out a few features and assuring Logan a half dozen times that she was not cold, Rogue eased into her seat wearily and enjoyed the ride back to Salem Center. Before long, she had fallen asleep. Logan looked over and was tempted to just pull over and watch her sleep. She had fallen asleep cradling her belly and the thin, layered dress fluttered all around her. The white streaks were bright in the moonlight and licked all around her face enticingly.
Logan thought back to the kiss they shared earlier. It was a searing kiss and although they both wanted it badly he felt like he had jumped the gun. He needed to tell her, make her understand, once and for all. That day on the roof had been a start but it wasn't enough. Turning into the school's driveway, Logan suppressed the rising lump in his throat. Looking over when he turned the car off, he marveled at the fates that brought his little Marie back to him and swore to tell her before anything else happened.
Rogue yawned and tried to focus on the person talking to her. Realizing that the hated seatbelt was gone, she figured they were home and tried to search for her shoes.
"It's alright darling, I got 'em."
Rogue smiled at the thought of Logan and her pumps with a yawn.
"Yer too sweet sometimes."
He helped her to her feet and held her at arm's length for a minute.
"You feel like walking or do you need a lift?"
Rogue stepped from the driveway gravel to test the feel of the cool grass under her stockinged feet. It was slightly wet.
"Ah'll walk."
Logan put an arm around her and they walked silently through the thick lawn. Almost to the house, it started to drizzle. Remembering the top on the convertible, Logan turned to Rogue.
"Wait here, One-eye will have a heart attack if I leave his wussy car in the rain."
Rogue stopped him before he could run off.
"There's a button on tha keychain."
Logan looked at the keys and found a nameless button. Pointing it to the car, he shook his head when it automatically covered itself. He looked back at Rogue.
"Do you think he added a super fast button?"
Rogue rolled her eyes and looped her arm around his.
"Don't get any ideas. Let's go before Ah fall asleep right heah."
They walked in silence again until the marble entrance, where he swooped her up without asking and didn't deposit her until they were in the foyer. The couple continued on in silence until they reached the teacher's wing on the second floor. Logan was opening Rogue's door, when a thought occurred to him.
"You know I could sleep with you if you want."
Rogue stopped in mid yawn and dropped the shoes she was carrying. Logan turned around to clarify.
"I meant for company, but on the sofa, not like…"
Rogue chuckled at the sight of Logan stammering. It was actually cute.
"That's okay, Ah know what ya meant." She stepped inside. "But Ah'll be alright."
Logan bent over to pick up the shoes and put them in the closet. Rogue disappeared into the bathroom and emerged a few minutes later in a robe.
"I just don't want you having those dreams."
"Ah'll be fine. Ah'm so tired, ah don't think Ah could dream if ah wanted to."
She plopped down on her bed with a yawn and tucked herself into a fetal position. Logan considered his options. Deciding she was probably right, he bent over and carefully kissed her forehead. Rogue shifted slightly at the warmth and said good-night. Logan did the same and left.
In his room, Logan peeled off his clothes and headed for the bathroom. He was typically a ten-minute shower kind of guy, but mulling over the woman sleeping across the hall and the long events of the day, he lingered a bit longer. Basking in the spray of warm water on his tight neck and shoulders, Logan failed to hear the rain start to fall heavily outside and he failed to hear Rogue's breathing start to hitch and speed up in the irregular patterns found only in a nightmare.
Running. It was all she could comprehend in that world. Run, run, run, run, run. Every time she suffered the dream, it was a little clearer, a little more defined, the running a little more intense. At times it went away for week-long intervals. Sometimes she had several in a week. The effect was the same. She would wake up terrified. She would be tired for days.
Approaching the East Coast after two years in her jeep, they had sped up in both frequency and intensity. Everything about them seemed sharper, and despite the resolve and confidence Rogue felt in returning home, the dreams that plagued her worked up to a feverish intensity that would culminate in one terrible realization. She wasn't sure how, but she knew that much. Already having flashes of running through the forest in a flapping blue dress, Rogue understood that this particular dream, this particular night, was the one that all the others had built up to.
It started out like always. Soft tears and gentle sobbing that wasn't her own. A growl. A blinding flash of red light. An insane amount of blood on the walls. Bits of bone and tissue clinging to delicate imported wallpaper, enough to insure no chance of survival. Clad in jeans and boots, Rogue stumbles to her feet. Her vision had returned from the blinding red light, but the sight before wasn't much different. Red everywhere. Only now it dripped and pooled. It was too much to bare.
In a singular moment, she is taken back. Back to another time, another place. She was wearing a dress then. Pink and worn from frequent washing. It was her favorite dress. Her favorite color. Her favorite in the whole wide world. Only it was stained now. And in her young mind, Marie that was Marie before being Rogue, understood that these stains could never wash away. It was her mother's blood. She was dead. It was her fault.
Little Marie, who was still not a rogue, knew it with certainty. She lived on a farm. She had seen things die. The people had came for her had moved quick. Just like her father did when the unpleasant task of dieing had to be carried out. They stormed into the house, too many to count, and asked for her by name.
Her mother cried out, hid her with her skirt. Pleaded and cried and told them it wasn't that one, it was another. It was her sister. There was another. Marie had found that funny. Intrigued at the thought of a sister, she peered from her mother's skirt. Pushing her hair out of her face, she asked quite innocently 'what other Mamma?' That had been enough.
A woman emerged, blue and shimmering, unlike anything little Marie ever remembered seeing. She was probably the most beautiful, amazing thing Marie had ever seen. Deep in her mind, hidden away where all of life's moments are captured in a cell and stored never to be retrieved again, Marie had seen this woman. She knew her well. She had lived inside her, grown from within, emerging from her blue flesh one day only to be taken away.
This woman, with the most wonderful blue skin, moved fast. In a burst of light and movement that jolted everyone in the room, little Marie's mother was struck down. Pinned under her, Marie cried out. Her pink dress was stained, her mother was dying. Horrified, Marie reached for her, held her, but the bosom she leaned on so much, was gone. A huge gaping hole, gooey with bits of bone and tissue was all that was left.
Marie screamed. Screamed so hard, she didn't feel the beautiful blue arms wrap around her. Didn't feel the hands tried to muffle her voice. Didn't feel a second force, so strong it knocked her to the ground again. She was still screaming when she heard the voice. A familiar voice. It was her father. He was hurt, he was bleeding from his leg, he was screaming, he was running with her in his arms. Into the forest they went. Marie had barely noticed the house or the yard or the trees going by. All she felt was the shudder that ran through her mother's body when it was torn to pieces. When it was splattered on her walls, her bed, her toys, her things, her dress.
She screamed and screamed all the way, until she couldn't scream anymore. It wasn't voluntary. She wanted to scream, but she couldn't. Her father's weight was suddenly bearing down on her, choking her. He was gasping, clutching her tight, dying. But unlike her mother, he was still talking. It was loud and ragged, but Marie understood him clearly because it was only one word. One word repeated over and over and over. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run.
Marie blinked at him. Her hair and her tears were in the way. She screamed his name, shook him, kissed him, but he didn't change his answer. It didn't even waver. Run. Run he was saying. Marie crawled from under him and stood on her two shaky feet, clad in soft white sandals. Somewhere behind them she could hear voices. Approaching fast. She turned to her father and begged that he take her away. She hated the forest. It scared her. But there was no comfort in him. She watched in horror as the bravest person she knew, cried. Slow, fat tears rolled down his face and still his answer did not waver. Run. Run. Run.
So Marie understood. With darkness and the blue woman approaching fast, Marie followed her father's last wish and ran. She ran blindly and she ran hard. Her bare arms were scratched by branches, the long hair her mother failed to finish braiding came undone and caught in the underbrush. She tumbled and fell and scraped her knees and ached, but she ran well. She was a natural-born survivor and little Marie understood clearly that running meant survival. She ran. Straight through the night and into the next morning. She ran until she collapsed. Until she could not possibly run anymore.
She was found a day later, poked and prodded because no-one could look that awful and be alive. It had rained. Her favorite pink dress clung to her. It was tattered and shreaded and stained with the blood of the only two people she had ever loved. In the hospital, it took very little to remove it completely, so thin and worn it had been.
When she woke up days later, she had one word on her chapped and dehydrated lips. Run. It was all that remained. A voice from the past, a past she couldn't remember. A past that hurt too much. Run was the only word the five-year-old knew. Shaking their heads sadly, the nurses prayed and lit candles for the little girl with the huge chocolate eyes. On her chart was only one name. The only name they had. The name they found beautifully hand-stitched across the bodice of her tattered pink dress - Marie.
Waking with a start, Rogue jumped at the lingering thunder that rumbled through the house. The sound resonated in her skull, making it hard to think, hard to discern. That's how it always started - a loud bang, a loud flash. Still feeling the pressure in her brain, Rogue kicked at her blankets. Stumbling to the floor heavily, another thunderclap tore through the room. Panting and sobbing, Rogue scrambled to her feet. There is only one lucid thought in her brain. It's Eric, sounding so much like someone else. Someone from a past too painful to remember. He says only one thing and before Rogue could think, she tears down the hallway obeying the call that has kept her alive so many times. When in doubt, run. When in pain, run. When being chased, run.
Logan emerged from his shower wearing sweats and a smile. He had come to a decision. One that had evaded him for so long, but that could not be dodged any longer. Laying down on his bed, he closed his eyes and mulled over all her possible reactions. It would be a shock of course, but something that felt so right, had to be right. Pulling the covers up, Logan flinched slightly when lightning broke overhead. Wondering if Rogue was okay, Logan jumped out of bed and padded across the hall. Only he didn't have to go far. Catching her panicked scent in the air, Logan growled as he chased it outside.
It was hard going. Without shoes or even socks, the forest floor was unyielding. Clutching her stomach carefully, Rogue weaved through trees on a blind mission. Her survival depended on it. In the dark and with her hair matted around her face, it truly was blind. But the voice in her mind was as unrelenting as ever. Run, Run, Run it cried out.
Increasing her pace, Rogue kept running until an enormous bolt of lightening stopped her cold. Unlike any other dream, this one struck the ground. And it was close. Hearing an enormous cracking sound nearby and then smelling the burnt odor of bubbling sap, Rogue fell to her knees and covered her ears. She wanted to make it all stop. The pain in her calves, the ache in her side, the voice in her head, but it was hard. Rocking herself back and forth, Rogue tried to remind herself that it was a dream. A dream.
Still mumbling those words, she was shocked to faintly hear the call of her name. It was far, but experience told her - fast approaching. Jumping at the sound of it, she cried out and started running again. It was getting louder and to her horror she realized it was closer than it had ever been before. Overhead, a cackle of lightning split the sky again. Briefly illuminating the surroundings, Rogue ventured a look back. What she saw was the most terrifying thing she could imagine.
Letting out a scream that Xavier felt thirty miles away, Rogue tried to run even faster. It was close. Weaving through the trees, it was only twenty yards away. Realizing with all the dread in her heart that it had finally caught her, that after hundreds of close calls and near misses she could not outrun it this time, Rogue collapsed to her knees. Curling into a ball around her belly, she pushed into the mud and prayed that it would be less painful than what her mother, what her father had felt. Screaming at the top of her voice with her hands over her ears, Little Marie waited for the monster to finally catch up.
Logan carried the soaked and muddied body of Marie out of the forest just as a half dozen cars were pulling into the driveway. Moving in a blur of adrenaline, he ran past the worried faces and probing questions until he reached the med lab. Still refusing to let go, he held onto Marie's unconscious and shivering body on the floor while Beast, Jean and a guy he faintly recognized bustled all around in near panic. He could hear people crying in the corridors and could smell the overpowering stench of fear, but closing his eyes to his very own tears, Logan rocked and rocked the girl in his arms trying to forget the look of defeat on her face when he found her curled up in the mud. It was total defeat. A surrendering of all that she was. All she had been.
Rogue brushed her hands nervously over her bodice. Ororo slapped her hand away.
"Quit fussing, will you?"
Jean giggled gleefully.
"You must have forgotten what a wreck you were."
Rogue glared at the ebony goddess.
"Ah sure recall those jitters, ah few ended up on Jubilee's shoes."
Jubilee perked up from the magazine she was reading at the mention of her name.
"Yeah, you still owe me big-time girl. I still can't eat chili."
Kitty giggled and the whole bunch of them joined her. Ororo just rolled her eyes.
"It was morning sickness. I couldn't help it. And must I remind you who ruined her dress with punch while in a jealous rage over her boyfriend and had to be stuck in the back in all the photos?"
Everybody laughed even harder and Kitty actually fell off the bed.
"Hey, Bobby is not my boyfriend!!"
Almost in unison, everyone muttered 'whatever'.
Crushed, Jubilee pouted and then wondered who he was with at that particular moment.
"Com'on guys, this ain't the time to be fightin', only an hour before the ceremony starts and we sill got to get the flowers in our hair, the chief's about to wake up and also…Kitty will ya stop rolling around in yer dress?"
Jean added the last white lily to Rogue's sweeping updo. Satisfied with her handiwork, she turned to face the other women.
"Rogue's right, let's get it together now, Ororo can you do something about this heat? It'll wilt the flowers."
Ororo put the rest of the pins and rollers into the tray she brought with her.
"Sure thing, but why not let…"
Ororo stopped when there was a sudden knock at the door. Kitty went to investigate, but Rogue already knew who it was. There was only one person in the Mansion with metal in his knuckles. There was actually a lot of doors around the place that needed re-painting because of it. Smiling at her reflection, Rogue watched in amusement as all the girls jumped into defensive battle formation around her when they heard his gruff voice ask about her.
Jubilee was holding up pretty well with a detailed oration on the value of tradition until he growled. Backing up a few steps, she suggested leaving the two lovebirds alone for a minute. Agreeing with a wink to her friend, Ororo ordered everybody out and gave Logan an impetuous kiss on the cheek on the way out herself. Smirking at the X-Women all clad in pink, giggling down the hallway, Logan stepped into his room and closed the door behind him. Still shaking his head, he turned slowly.
"You'd figure that girl would at some point get tired of talking. I just saw the chief, he misses y…"
Rogue smiled at his loss of words. Standing up slowly to adjust to the drag of her veil, she smoothed out her dress and planted a hand on her waist.
"Watcha think?"
His response was only a grumble and Rogue smiled even wider. She didn't care if he saw her now or later. She had just wanted to catch the expression he was wearing now.
"So you like?"
She noticed his gaze settle around the bodice and ran her own gaze across his handsome shape in a tux. The thought of him not wanting to wear the necktie, flashed in her mind.
"I like."
He closed the distance between them and swept Rogue up into his arms. Kissing her breathlessly for a few moments, he pulled her back slightly and set her back on the ground again. His gaze settled on her cleavage and he moved to cup her breasts through the satiny fabric.
"I'm not sure about this up here though."
Rogue giggled at the feel of his breath on her neck. She had put on his favorite scent, real lilies.
"So then you don't like it, sugah?"
Logan looked up again and started to slowly pulled her towards their bed.
"I didn't say that."
Taking her to the edge, he pushed her down. Rogue landed in a tangle of petticoats. He parted some of the layered skirts and settled himself above her.
"Hey, you can't."
Rogue paused at the trail of kisses he was brushing across her neck and down to the tops of her breasts.
"We can't do this now Logan, we have guests an' an' we have ta go soon."
Logan paused for a minute to look up. Rogue almost whimpered at the loss of his lips on her skin.
"How long?"
Rogue chuckled at his question and moved to get off the bed. If she didn't, they would both be in big trouble. He smelled entirely too good and felt even better.
"Not enough. An' besides, who ever heard of having sex on yer weddin' day?"
Logan watched Rogue stand and straighten out her veil in the mirror with a smirk.
"It's called a honeymoon, darling."
She stopped fussing long enough to turn around and flash him a crooked smile.
"Ya know what ah meant Logan!"
He took her smile to mean that he had permission. Bouncing off the bed, he closed his arms around her waist and started on her neck again, through the wispy veil this time. He watched her eyes close at the familiar feel.
"'Member when that was tha only way?"
Logan's heart turned over at the comment. He stopped kissing and spoke against her.
"I remember."
Sensing his distress, Rogue turned around and wrapped her arms around Logan's neck. It had been almost a year but it still hurt. Burying herself in the crook of his neck, where she could feel his bare skin, she recalled that day in silence.
It was the day she faced her fears and learned where her monsters had come from. With Xavier's help, she had remembered everything. Her long lost memory returned, she could remember the parents that had raised her. Their death at the hands of her real mother. Why she felt that running was the only way to survive. The reason why it was all she had ever thought of doing whenever things got rough.
And most importantly, Rogue learned her last name. It was what she was practicing when they stormed in. Her notebook in her lap, she was holding a purple crayon and writing it out in uneven letters. Her mother had been braiding her hair. If she didn't it would tangle all up in the night. With bold, thick strokes, she wrote it out as her mother sang and brushed.
She also learned that it was that trauma of being found, of being taken from those she loved that prevented her from wanting to be touched. From one foster home to the next, Marie had learned early on to keep people at bay, lest they be willing to die for her. Love meant sacrifice, and she was never to want someone to die for her again. That fear is what had kept her from controlling her mutation. When she gave her fears a face, she became whole again, able to touch and be close to those she loved.
Her only regret was taking Logan along for such a hard ride. She finally understood what Scott had meant when he said that the Wolverine had completely lost it. Logan had wandered the north woods for the entire three weeks she was in a coma. Everyone thought he was completely gone, an animal consumed with grief, but she knew differently. He came to see her every night when the doctors retired and her friends went to sleep. He would sneak up, shirtless, dirty and unshaven and put his head to her growing stomach. Reassured that he still heard two heartbeats, the Wolverine would kiss Rogue's stomach and head out again to slash, stalk, and brood.
It was on the night that he came prepared to die that she finally woke up. He walked in like always and instead of kissing her stomach, he mumbled he loved her and pressed her hand to his tear stained face. Laying in the bright white light that Xavier held her in to think and reflect, Rogue had felt the undeniable pull on her skin. Jarred back to her body, she realized that Logan was touching her and that if she didn't stop him, he would die. With no other choice, Rogue ground her heals in and choose to fight rather than run. She had run the first time he told her that he loved her and it had nearly killed them both. Finally finding the courage to accept vulnerability, Rogue turned off her mutation in time and opened her eyes.
Not able to suppress a shudder from the memory of that moment, Rogue squeezed Logan tighter and planted a soft kiss on his adam's apple. Willing her to feel all that he felt for her, Logan tightened his hold too and pulling her head back, kissed Rogue with all his strength. Feeling the urging of his groin, he hoisted her by the waist up to the dresser table. Pushing her legs open with a step forward, Logan pressed into the woman he loved. Rogue pulled back panting and smiled at his intent.
"Half an hour."
Logan smiled and pushed the layers of skirts back up to her waist. Looking down in surprise, he quirked an eyebrow.
"That was a surprise fer later."
He extended a claw before swiping at the thin silky panties that were a part of Rogue's garter belt ensemble.
"Well consider me surprised."
With a wicked grin Logan got on his knees, threw the scrap of fabric away and descended on her. Slightly frustrated that she couldn't see him under the long skirts, Rogue at least savored the feel of his exquisite tongue and the scratchy feel of his sideburns brushing against the inner sides of her thighs. Logan emerged a few minutes later. Working her neck while Rogue opened his shirt and tore open his zipper, Logan wasted no time in pulling her up to his hips on the edge of the dresser and firmly grip her by the waist.
Plunging into the warm, familiar, wetness that was all his, Logan found Rogue's mouth in time to swallow her screams. Indulging in his fantasy of taking Marie in her big white dress, Logan clutched her to him and savored the feel of her completely. The smell of lilies intermingled with sex, the feel of her high heels digging into the back of his thighs, the brush of her garter belts every time he pulled out of her, her breath hot on his throat, the knowledge that she would be his wife in a few minutes and that nothing meant more to him than his family. Lost in these thoughts it wasn't long before they came in a blinding, glorious moment. Leaning in to kiss her once again, Logan pulled away from Rogue with a smirk.
"Now I feel ready to sit through anything."
Rogue smacked him in the arm before experimentally shifting her legs.
"That's real sweat. Nice ta know you're that excited 'bout this."
Lifting her by the waist, Logan planted Rogue shakily on two legs and gave her one last kiss.
"You have no idea how excited I am, Marie."
Rogue fiddled with his buttons and started to shape his bow tie.
"I want this more than anything."
She stopped for a minute to check his expression. It was deadly serious.
"Same hear sugah."
Logan caught her hands giving them each a kiss before leaning forward and touching her lips briefly. After such brazen sex, Rogue was touched at the timid gesture. She watched him straighten out his clothes and grab some chocolates from the dresser and shove them into his pockets. He never went anywhere without a little treat. Rogue nagged him about it constantly, but she knew what it meant for Logan to see his eyes light up when he took out a cookie or something. She thought back to her pregnancy, when he always followed her around with food. Her heart ached to know Logan could love him so much. It made everything so right.
"Have you seen him yet?"
"Yeah, he's dying to see you."
Grabbing his jacket, Logan smiled ruefully and left for his scheduled rendezvous with his best man. Knowing Scott pretty well, Logan was sure he was in full wedding coordinator mode by now. With a few minutes to show time, maybe even hyperventilating.
Rogue lingered behind to straighten out her dress and make-up as well as find another pair of underwear. By the time Ororo, her matron of honor, showed at the door with her bouquet of lilies and little Charles, Rogue was more than ready. Hearing the string quartet start playing outside, she turned to look at her best friend and the baby excitedly. Giving little Charles a quick peck and ruffling his snowy white hair, Rogue hugged both in a single embrace.
Hurrying down to the patio, where the other maids were waiting, Rogue gave them all quick hugs before watching with giddy anticipation as one by one turned the corner and disappeared. When Ororo finally left with little Charles in her arms, Rogue held her breath and closed her eyes. The people she loved were waiting and she would no longer run.
When it was her turn, she turned the corner and smiled at all the faces she recognized and loved. With tears in her eyes, Rogue's gaze eventually moved to the men waiting for her at the end of the aisle. They both beamed when they saw her. Trying not to cry at how cute they looked in matching outfits, Rogue concentrated on the painfully slow march. Logan was repeating something in his ear. She could barely guess what it was, but when she finally reached them, Logan held his son forward and the eleven month old excitedly clapped his hands and yelled 'Momma, purty' about a dozen times for all to hear. Giving him a quick kiss while the crowd laughed, Rogue turned to smile at Logan before taking his free hand. The three turned to face the minister that was to finally declare them a family.
PROLOGUE:
Rogue sighed contentedly and drew the thin curtains closed. Gently draping the sheet he had discarded in his sleep and placing it over the rattan chair, she smiled at the funny way his hair stuck up all around his head. Finding it irresistible, Rogue slowly walked up to him and ran her hands through it softly before planting a small kiss on his forehead. He twitched a little in his sleep and smelling the faint smell of coconut on him, Rogue closed her eyes and thanked God for the miracle that made him all hers.
Taking her sarong off the bed, Rogue tied it around her hips and stepped through the front porch of the villa barefoot. Spotting her book laying on the steps, she added it to the tote she was carrying and stepped into the warm sand. Smelling her scent in the wind, Logan turned slightly in his folding chair and watched her walk to him. She was wearing a little string bikini and Logan wondered who in their right mind would add tiny pink flowers to such a sinful little piece of fabric.
"Did he get to speak to little Charles?"
Rogue brushed her lips to Logan's before opening her beach tote and laying out her towel.
"Yeah, he was so tired the poor thing, but he refused to get in his crib until he spoke ta him."
Logan smiled at the thought of his son and Scott's being so close. They were inseparable. It was ironic in a way.
"I still think we should have brought him."
Rogue smiled and retrieved her book to start reading.
"Like Scott would ever let him outa his sight fer even ah minute."
Logan snorted at the thought and took a drink of his beer. He cocked his head for a moment to hear the chief's steady breathing. It was something he did often and recalling how he would check on his heartbeat when he was in his mother's womb, Logan smiled. He loved that kid more than life itself.
"That's true."
He watched with sudden interest as Rogue stretched languidly to read on her stomach. She smelled of coconut sunscreen lotion and although Logan had never cared much for coconuts, he was finding it remarkably appealing the last few days. Taking a final drink of his beer, he dove into the little cooler beside his chair and had an idea. Fishing out a piece of ice, he stealthily brought it to the small of Rogue's back. She jumped at the feel of it and quickly turned around.
"Hey, watcha do that for?"
He stared at her chest. She had untied her bikini straps to avoid lines.
"To get a good look."
She clutched at the flapping triangles of fabric and threw her book at him. It hit him squarely on the forehead.
"Ouch."
She smiled at his hurt look and retied her bathing suit.
"That didn't hurt one bit."
Logan rubbed the spot for a second.
"Just because I heal fast, doesn't mean it don't hurt, darling."
Rogue struck a pose.
"Let me make it make it better then, sugah."
Dropping his unopened beer back into the cooler with a smile, Logan eased down to the towel his wife was laying on. Growling real low, he pulled Rogue forward and pressed her against his body. Closing his eyes, he savored the feel of her soft lips on his skin. Kissing random spots around his chin, Rogue leaned in closer and moved deliberately slow. Immediately, Logan's hand moved to her waist in response. Silently thanking Xavier for letting them use his villa in a practically abandoned Tahitian island for their one year anniversary, Logan moved his hands over Rogue's oil slicked body, confident that the only soul around was fast asleep and they were alone under the swaying palm trees. Feeling her breathe faster, he slipped his hands under her suit to cradle a breast. Getting an unexpected hard bite in between the slow kisses, Logan flung his eyes open. She was laughing.
"You'll pay for that."
Using one fluid movement, Logan growled and turned Rogue around. Now firmly pinned under him, he spread her top to reveal her slightly lighter colored breasts. Too his delight, Rogue struggled a little but there was no match. Pinning her hands above her head, Logan weighed his options with a feral grin. Seeing the wheels turning in his head, Rogue pleaded in her most innocent voice.
"Let me go and Ah'll make it worth yer while."
Logan chuckled. Just those words alone made him harder.
"It'll be worth my while either way."
Rogue considered that for a moment then smiled. She slowly circled her legs around his waist, feeling him tightened even more.
"Okay, then Ah have ah request."
Logan started rocking his hips slightly into her in anticipation. The slickness of her body was making him crazy. The smell of coconuts was intoxicating. He might have to buy a whole caseload of the stuff to take back home.
"Anything you want darling. Anything."
Rogue took time to bat her eyelashes and pretend to think, all the while rubbing her legs up against his.
"Let me se, let me think."
Logan was practically bursting with tension. Grinning a little at the way her upturned arms made her breasts look, he nuzzled her with his face and pressed into the thin fabric barrier that kept her from him.
"Marie."
It was a warning. A 'you're getting it now' warning.
Rogue smiled softly.
"Ah know, let's make ah baby."
Logan froze in place and slowly looked up.
"A what?"
Rogue smiled wistfully.
"Ah baby. Let's make ah baby."
Quirking not one eyebrow - but two, Logan slowly let go of Rogue's hands and thought about what it all meant. Leaning on his side, he looked into her eyes to see nothing but determination there.
"Backaches, swollen feet."
"Soft little hands, tiny little clothes."
"Morning sickness, huge belly. We'd have to get Bobby and Jubilee on Ritalin."
Rogue laughed and pulled her top back into place.
"Birthday parties, trips ta tha park, ice cream on tha hammock."
"Not seeing your feet for months."
"Cute little motorcycle jacket, a new buddy to watch hockey with."
Logan looked at Rogue in concentration and took out the biggest point he had.
"Twenty-one hours of labor, 8 pounds, 10 ounces."
To his amazement, she didn't look fazed. How soon they forget.
"A little sister for Jonathan. Another best friend for Charles."
Logan wrinkled his brow again. Her best point beat out his best point by a whole lot. Raising his head and tilting it slightly to check that Jonathan was still sleeping soundly in his crib, Logan smiled slowly. He loved that kid more than he ever thought was humanly possible. He thought he had it bad with Marie, but he couldn't go four hours without seeing Jonathan. Something in those big chocolate eyes that felt so much like home. He'd be blessed to have another one running around, yanking at his hair, helping him shave, read stories to. It was really no choice at all. They would have to add another name to the inside of the platinum bands they both wore.
"The chief would make a good older brother. Plus more of you for me to love. And I could knock down a few more walls."
Rogue ran her hand back up Logan's bare chest and grinned. She knew he would like the idea. Family meant the world to him.
"So ya think we could do this."
He held her gaze intensely before straddling her again.
"Oh, we could definitely do this."
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Author's Chapter Notes:
This ain't the elseworlds I promised ya'll, but something came over me. Sorry.