”Uncle Logan! Uncle Logan!”
“What is it, Addy?”
“Look! I found a ladybird!”
“Must be the first one for this spring…”

Anna came to us when the dying started. When they unleashed the plague they called the Legacy. Bobby had already died. Anna was sick. For some reason it skipped over Adele. It was year ago. Anna lasted nearly a week. Ground was still frozen when I dug her grave. That day with a shovel did me good. Marie and Adele stayed in the cabin, talking and crying. At the end of that day I had honest blisters on my palms and deep enough hole in the ground to put Anna in.

She’s only eight years old. Can’t help smiling when she runs bouncing to Marie to show her the ladybird. Last spring she was just a broken shell, kept crying all over the winter. Then one day she just stopped and started to live again. Kids are surprisingly resilient. They’ll bounce back no matter how hard the blow is.

“Have you counted her dots yet?” Marie. Have to give her credit for keeping up with us. Adele and me… We were both a complete mess.
“Go on. Try it before it flies away.”
“Can they fly?” And I had thought her eyes couldn’t get any larger. Jesus. Wide as saucers. She’s a living picture of her mother.
“Hey!”
“I told you. But I’m sure you can find another one. Maybe you should ask Logan to help.” Fuck. Marie. You’ll pay for this. Hunting bugs with the kid? Come on!

Right. Who the fuck am I fooling? Can’t even lie to myself. Here I am, crawling on my hands and knees, sniffing out caterpillars and ants, because that freaking ladybird appeared to be only one of its kind around here.
“Over there, uncle Logan!” Ow, fuck! Stop fucking kicking me, kid!
“Yeah. I see that. How many do you need anyway?” Jar she’s handing me over my shoulder is already filled with different kinds of squirming and crawling critters. And I have to admit that playing a combined horse and anteater is getting on my nerves. I’m not built to creep around with small girl riding on my back.
“I’m going to build an ant farm!” Not in my cabin, kiddo. These critters will chew through the logs faster than I can replace them.
“Maybe we should go and see what Marie’s doing?” Please?
“Giddyap, horsy!” Stop kicking! I’m going, I’m going!

“I had already forgotten what it is like…” Adele’s sleeping. My favorite moment of the day. I can hear her breathing from the open door of the cabin. Marie’s sitting next to me on the porch. Last rays of the sun are still flickering in the horizon. I’m beaten and tired to the bone, just for spending my day looking after Adele. It’s completely different kind of exhaustion than the one that comes from good tumble in the cage. Fights leave me always restless and yearning for more. More blood. More sweat. More sex. But wandering around with Adele… It calms me down.
“It’s easy to forget. But it comes back fast. I guess it’s kind of like riding a bicycle. You may forget, but the skill stays no matter how long has it been from the last time…” Marie’s tired, too. And nervous for some reason.
“We can’t hide forever, you know. One day they will come for us.”
“They can try. They’ll have to get through me first before they can lay their hands on you and Adele.” And that’s the truth. I’m through with running. Next one trying to scare us on the move is in for a surprise. I’m sick and tired of being kicked around. Not anymore.

“What’s going to happen when Adele gets older?”
“What do you mean?”
“Pretty soon she won’t be interested about bugs and survival. She needs friends. Children of her own age.” The very can of worms I have been avoiding from the moment I saw Anna standing at our doorstep, Adele in tow. I knew then already that she was going to die. Scent of it was strong enough to make me gag.

We don’t have electricity. No computer, no phone. No TV. I even sold the bike and the truck before we retreated to this little hideout of ours. Fewer contacts to the outer world, less possibilities to get caught. Left one connection out of the equation. Adele. No matter how I twist and turn it, Marie’s right. Right now Adele is more than happy when she can stay with us, but far too soon we’re not going to be enough. We have been teaching her to read and write, and some other stuff we remember Anna had to learn when she was at her age, but it isn’t enough. She needs more than we have to offer. We’re just muties trying to get through the day. She’s one of them.
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