She stands looking at him for a moment. For a long, drawn out moment. Then she coughs, softly, and his head whips around to glare at her.
The eyes soften when he sees who it is. He stands, smoothly, and she stiffens her resolve. It has to be now. It has to be now or it'll end up being never. He reaches towards her, but she evades, and she can see that he realizes something's wrong.
"You-" he starts, but she cuts him off.
"I can't do this anymore."
"But-"
"No. It's too hard. Being with you every day, knowing you're thinking of *her*, of her when you're supposed to be with me, love *me*. Did you really think I wouldn't figure it out? The way you follow her around and rush to her side when she's injured?"
"She's-"
"A friend. I know. But she's so much more than that. When you first arrived, you had a crush on her. I can't be the person you're with, because you can't be with her. I *won't* be a substitute."
"You're-"
"You don't get a say in this. That right disappeared about the same time you took me to your bed pretending to love me, when all the while I was just a stand-in until you could have her. So."
She licks her lips, looks around the room they shared one last time. "This is it. I won't say I didn't care about you, because I did. And I won't say we can be friends, because there's no way in hell we can. But we're teammates, and that's one area our personal differences can't interfere. I'm going to leave now, but before I go," she reaches behind her neck and lifts his 'promise' over her head and drops it on the bed, where it lands with a tinkle. "Maybe you can give it to her." - A parting shot.
Then she is gone, out the door, running without any real direction, throwing open the mansion doors and letting herself onto the grass of the lawn. She lays on her back and stares at the stars, wondering how she can see so many when most of her own inner lights have been extinguished.
She hears footsteps, tenses, then forces herself to relax when she recognizes the face in front of her.
"Hey," he says and she makes a face at how much concern he manages to convey in that one little word.
"Hey yourself. So," she says conversationally. "I broke up with..." she hesitates slightly, afraid that if she says his name it'll conjure him up in front of her, "him tonight."
"Hmm." Noncommittal. Good, she likes that. It means he isn't going to pressure her into talking about it. Perversely, it's that very lack of pressure - some might call it disinterest, but she knows better - that makes her say, "I gave it back to him, so no more excuses to avoid necklaces."
"Why?"
"Would I need an excuse?" He nods and she smiles a little, glad she knows him well enough to interpret what he's not saying. "I don't have any jewelry. Don't really need it I guess."
"Hmm. Why'd you wear it around your neck, anyway?"
"He gave me his ring. I can't wear rings, because of the gloves? So I put it on a silver chain and wore it as a necklace."
He seems to be thinking about that, then suddenly he's fumbling with something and she feels the cool slither of metal slide over her head. She glances down, shocked to see two silver rectangles glint back at her. She stares at him until he shrugs.
"Now you have an excuse."
She's touched, enormously so, far more with this simple gesture than she had been with Remy's over-the-top presentation with roses and champagne by candlelight.
Somehow lying on the grass in the moonlight with her dearest friend is perfect. Even more so when he lays down next to her and rests his head inches away from hers.
"So," he asks, eyes serious. "Ready to try again?"
She studies him, a little nervous at the twist in the conversation. "Again? With who?"
He grins and she has to fight to keep from smiling back. Not yet, anyway. "Me."
Her mouth drops open, and she falls back on her usual defense, gentle teasing. "Don't tell me you were waiting for me?"
He seems to consider this, and at length, replies, "waiting? No. More like... Biding my time."
It's her turn to "Hmm."
And then she asks, curious, "until what?"
"Until you realized he's in love with Storm, and you're in love with me."
She almost snorts at that, then thinks about it. "If I were in love with you," she chooses her words carefully, "why would I have spent all that time with Remy?"
"Because he's comfortable. I'm the unknown quantity, and as big a gambler as you think you are, you weren't ready to take that kind of risk."
Obviously he's thought this through. "And now I am?" she asks, brow raised in a blatant imitation of him.
"Yup." He reaches over and brushes a bare finger over one white lock of hair. She gapes at him, shocked that he touched her, so close to her bare skin, without wearing gloves.
He's trying to distract her, she decides, but she won't be put off. She grasps his hand with her glove-covered fingers and says, "and why would my being with you be any different than it was with him? All the caring would still be on my side. Solely on my side."
His other hand grabs her free one and suddenly he's on top of her, pinning her wrists above her head. She's amazed that he managed that maneuver without hurting either one of them.
"Silly girl," he murmurs and as she stares up into his eyes, her brain clicks into gear and she realizes what she should have realized before. That with Logan it's the unsaid that counts.
She works it out, slower than usual, maybe because he's on top of her and all her blood has rushed from her brain to other regions. "When you told me that I loved you... you were actually saying that *you* loved *me*," she says, startled by the simplicity of it. Then she smiles, because though he isn't a simple man, and he's far from stupid, simple is the way he does things, and perhaps, sometimes, simple is best.
"So," he says, lowering his head until his breath hits her lips. "Are we agreed?"
And she's filled with the wonder of loving and being loved in return, and as an answer she smiles and nods her head, because words are too complicated, and sometimes, simpler is better.
The Wolverine & Rogue Fanfiction Archive
Barely Legal Since 2000
Author's Chapter Notes:
Blame this on Victoria's beautiful fic 'Girl of His Dreams' which I've just reread... I wrote this in self-defense *g* Thanks to Karen, Helena, and my latest victim Caroline *g* -- for pointing out spelling, word errors, and doling out much needed advice and support :)