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Author's Chapter Notes:
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything X-Men related.
Warning: Might be taken as a little blasphemous.
Completed: April 1, 2006
Notes: The inspiration was the Marilyn Manson version of ‘Personal Jesus.’
If I have to sit through one more of Kurt’s sermons, I’m going to kill something.

And it’s not that I don’t miss Jean. I do. I just mourn a little differently. I put my faith in something different. All knowing divine beings can be good for some guys, as for me, I need something I can touch. Or something I’m not supposed to. Something with meaning in it, by itself.

The feel of a woman was all the faith I needed.

When you touch them, in the right way, it’s a religious experience.

Their soft bodies and open arms. Deep sighs and rushed words of encouragement. The look in their eyes that makes you a god for those minuets.

But touching the right one can make you a better man, can scare you, can save you.

And I’m not talking about Jean.

With Jean it was all shoulds and shouldn’ts. Was a stretched out morality. Like Kurt’s endless ramble about the right path and finding salvation.

Oh, but I’ve found my salvation Bub. I found it the moment I touched Marie.
Somehow, the world gets pulled into sharp focus when your life is being sucked from your body. Not that I feared it or regretted it. Mostly, I welcomed it. Something in it welcomed me, told me it would all be fine in the end. That it was all worth it.

When Kurt speaks to us about his Saviour I see Marie. Her wide brown eyes, not in innocence but wonder. As innocent as she should be, she isn’t. She knows it all, but it still doesn’t ruin her. She balances it all, she understands it. She’s beyond it.
The acceptance in that open face. No real mysteries there. No hidden agenda.
The slender curves of her body. Muscle and tissue in all the right places. Tight but soft. Strong but unthreatening. Welcoming. Reaffirming.

She never opens her arms to you, never asks you to come to her in words. But you do. She calls you in other ways. She calls me. It’s because you want to be there, not that you have to be.

And it goes beyond a touch to save her life. A touch to exchange mine for hers. Yeah, I’ve saved her, defended her, befriended her, but she’s saved me. She’s given me new chance after new chance. A new life. The forgiveness and understanding and acceptance. Something I didn’t know I needed. I wanted.

She tells me I deserve it.

The others might think a life it too high a price to pay for something as simple as a touch. But considering the source, I think it’s too low. You should lay down everything for that one second of contact with Marie. To feel her for that split second. To feel that soft strength, to feel that unyielding forgiveness. For her to save you with the touch of her skin, for her to offer you her salvation.

Kurt goes on about faith and redemption. Some higher being and almighty cause. I see Marie. Only Marie.

She’s all the faith I’ll ever need again.

End.
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