"Stay away from my girl." The words echoed around in Logan's head as he held the limp Marie in his arms. If he couldn't have Jean Gray, then what was the point of living? He brought his hand to cup Marie's cheek. At least he could save someone else in the process. He pressed his lips to her forehead.
Everything went black.
He blinked in the bright light. Something was wrong. He knew he couldn't be in heaven... Wait. It was the lab room in the Xavier Mansion.
He was alive.
Darn.
He drove away as fast as Cyclops' bike would carry him. A horn blared as Logan too the speed down slightly and drove straight into the large semi.
THUD! There went Cyke's motorcycle, along with the dented semi.
Logan frowned.
He said he'd be back for his dog tags, and after denting several more semi's, and a patch of ground beneath the Statue of Liberty, he was.
He was hanging around Rogue a lot lately, frequently "bumping" into her and holding on.
He wouldn't die.
"Logan? Ah you tryin' to kill yaself?" came the unexpected question one day.
"Well, yeah." He decided to be honest.
"Alright. Ya need to shave." And with that, Rogue walked away, but not before Logan gripped her arm tightly above the silk gloves.
Rogue gazed at Logan's sleeping body, and taking the razor in hand, she began to shave off his sideburns/beard/mustache that had been growing rampant across his face.
Logan blinked, used now to actually waking up. He stood and went to the mirror, the air feeling unusually cool on his face.
His face!
He had no more sideburns!
"ARGHHHHH!" His growl echoed through the school. Logan felt naked without his facial hair. (He *was* naked, but we won't tell him that...)
SKINT! He released the claws on one hand, and slashed at his other wrist, metal clanking against metal and the wounds healing instantly.
Darnit!
"Do you think we should keep a closer eye on Logan? He is rather... suicidal." Jean asked the group, concern etched on her face.
"Naw, he can't hurt himself." Rogue rationalized.
"'Kay." Jean smiled, the two turning from the room, when through the window they see a shape falling down. "Wuzzat?" Jean startled and then ran to the window.
"Oh, nuthin'. Just Logan trying to kill himself again."
"I'm gonna kill him for ruining my bike!" Cyclops cried.
Everyone rolled their eyes.
"He can't die!" They chorused.
Logan was about to take his nightly jump off of the cliff when Rogue approached him. "Ah want to help you." She sat down next to him.
"NO, you're too young! All I want is Jean, ARGH!" Logan cowered behind Rogue as millions of Logan/Marie 'shippers lept out of the forest.
"NO!" "You love MARIE!!" "Jean is with Scooter!" "I LOOOOVE you wolvie!" They all cried.
Logan heard all the calls, went insane, and, um, died. And the shippers were happy (kinda) because now they could write some serious angst.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
This is not as funny as I intended it to be, but I still got a few laughs out of it, and thought ya'll would too. Thanks: To Allana, who beta's MY LIFE!! And to Lily :) Luv ya sugah. Also to my buddy Beth whose conversation I had with sparked this fic. ::eyes roll::
Sorry, you're not gonna get a better ending than that. The whole story sucked. Whether you agree or not, TELL ME!!! It's all Beth's fault. She gave me the idea that even if Logan wanted to die, he couldn't kill himself. And I completely slaughtered the "plot" we made up. I am as much an R/L shipper as the rest of ya'll. I swear. I know, this isn't as funny as I wanted it to be... SOOOORY!!!
Sorry, you're not gonna get a better ending than that. The whole story sucked. Whether you agree or not, TELL ME!!! It's all Beth's fault. She gave me the idea that even if Logan wanted to die, he couldn't kill himself. And I completely slaughtered the "plot" we made up. I am as much an R/L shipper as the rest of ya'll. I swear. I know, this isn't as funny as I wanted it to be... SOOOORY!!!