Logan leaned forward heavily on his bike, ‘fuck….’ He thought, ‘why now, why’d ya have to go and complicate things now. I didn’t need this and ya sure as hell know I’m no good for ya kid. It’s the reason ya cry, every single memory, every fucked up nightmare I’ve inflicted on ya, all that I am good and bad, ya know every part of me, every angle, every goddamn secret, and for fuck’s sake I can’t handle that, I can’t Marie…, I’m sorry.
Can’t handle the fact that ya know the things I’ve done, what I was, the people I’ve killed, the faceless blondes I’ve fucked in seedy motels, in places I can’t remember and places I can’t have ya know.
It kills me Marie and I know it kills ya, thinkin’ ya could never compare to the life I’ve had before. Truth is you’re better, you’re not even in the same league as all that, you’re somethin’ divine, and every time I touch you I’m close, so fuckin’ close to a salvation I’d never thought I know, and am sure will never deserve. But it takes so much out of ya, because ya know, know why I could never stick around, ‘cause I couldn’t stand to see what I’m doin’ to ya.
It’s why I’m sat out here, on my bike, ready to leave. It’s why I’m finding I can’t breathe, why this adamantium in me is all of a sudden weighing a ton, because I gotta go Marie, and God what I wouldn’t give to be with ya now, in that bed of yours, in your arms, knowing, tasting, lovin’ ya.
‘I’m a selfish bastard Marie, any fucker willin’ to walk out on ya would have to be. But I’m more of a selfish bastard than any other ‘cause I’ve taken from ya over the last few months Marie, taken everything ya were willin’ to give and more than ya had. But ya see I needed it, I wanted it, and I took it.
But God, lying in your arms, saved me, ya offered me absolution Marie and now what I’m givin’ back to ya has everythin’ to do with hurtin’ ya and nothin’ no-way am I gonna be able to live with it.
I poured all myself into ya at Liberty Island, wanted ya to have it all, and then I waited, ‘til ya grew up, three years of hangin’ round after ya, and Scooter was right to call me on it. We got into that day, knocked each other several shades of black and blue, and I hated the bastard ‘cause he was right, I had no right, layin’ claim to ya like that, markin’ ya as if I had first rights to ya.
He knew I’d done it deliberately, held onto ya that long, even when I’d seen you’re eyes fly open and that look ya’d given me, ya begged me to stop I know, stop hurtin’ ya and myself, but I couldn’t, I needed ya to have it all Marie. Needed ya to see, wanted ya to save me.
And now I want ya to hate me, it’s a fine line I know, but I need ya to hate me enough to be glad to see me leave Marie, ‘cause ya need that, trust me Marie, ya need to hate, in the end its gonna hurt less.
‘Don’t tell me ya love me Marie, why’d the fuck did ya have to tell me ya love me Marie, why tonight?’
Logan looked up again at her window and saw her, she was watching him, it’s a clear night and the moonlight’s streaming in. Reflecting on her skin, perfect skin, poisonous skin she’s learnt to control. For you she’d said, just for you Logan.
He stares, perfect lips and eyes, big, brown innocent eyes, the only things that have come close to sending him over the edge, coupled with those ruby red full lips of hers, they’ve sent him over the edge again and again only to bring him draggin’ back. He’s done things to her because of those eyes he ought to and probably will burn in hell for.
She’s wearing his shirt the one he’d left her sleepin’ in, its open at the front and his eyes come to rest on her silk black bra and panties, pale, luminous skin against black. She knows what she’s doin’, and she knows what she’s askin’ him.
Logan looked away then, ‘don’t do it Marie.’
He’d hauled himself up those steps, he had meant to leave, so many times he’d meant to leave. But it was the same every night, he’d sit on that bike and she’d stand in the window. And he lost, every time he lost.
See he fell to pieces every time he slept alone, she knew that, and she always soothed the pain, ya need me Logan, just like I need ya. Heaven or hell Logan, we’re both destined for the same place. ‘Cause I’m as selfish as ya are. I ain’t willin’ to let ya go, even if it does kill us both.
Ya filled ma head full, now there ain’t room for nobody else, ah don’t want anybody else, can’t have anybody else. Yeah, it was a long wait, fuck Logan it was the longest wait. Three years wakin’ up screamin’, memories and nightmares, your nightmares Logan. Now ya can’t walk away, ya don’t get to walk away.
Ah ain’t askin’ for the chapel Logan, marriage and all that sanctimonious shit ain’t for us, we’re bound in different ways Logan, bound in the way we hide ourselves deep in each other, breakin’ apart all the time, bound in the way we love, bound in the way we fuck, hard and fast, slow and gentle but always ending with a scream, ah’ll call your name baby, as long as you’ll be callin’ mine.
It’s a fucked-up sort of true love Logan, and whatever ya do, ya can’t run away from it. Together or apart Logan, ya and me, we’ll always be affected by the same sort of insanity.
It’s another lonely night Logan; ya give me this Logan and ah gave ya all of me in return.
She smiles knowingly at him as he steps back inside the room, closes the door and leans heavily against it.
‘Fuck Marie…’ He’s staring at her as she approaches him, pale alabaster skin, poisonous skin, a poisoned fucked-up sort of love.
Marie wrapped her arms about his neck and he pulled her tightly against his chest. ‘Ah know baby, ah know…’
Then his mouth is on hers, licking the bottom lip first, gently until she pulls him in further, her tongue grazing his teeth, sweeping across the roof of his mouth, tasting, wanting…killing.
He fists his hand in her hair and pulls her mouth away from his forcefully, stares deep into those eyes, before lifting her up. She moans in pleasure as she straddles him, her legs wrapping gracefully around his back.
And he’s kissing her again, pushing her down onto the bed, ripping away the shirt, the panties and the bra, until at last she’s lying beneath him, naked and wanting.
She sits up then helping him with his shirt and pants before climbing into his lap, she settles herself on him. He’s buried deep inside her, Marie leans forward a little so that he’s resting back on his haunches, she presses her forehead against his her hair falling about them, a curtain to hide them from a world that can’t help but judge.
And she sits there waiting, wanting, torturing.
Logan moves at last, slow at first, but that ain’t enough for her and scrapes her nails hard against his back, he can feel the cuts open up and the blood trickle before the wounds heal again. The perverseness of it all pushes his desire, further, harder faster until he’s moving so harshly against her he knows he’s markin’ her, until he feels sure she’s gonna be bruised in the morning.
His hand wanders down to reach between them and he’s pressing hard against that bundle of nerves, pressing against that nub pushing her further until she’s screaming in pleasure, weaning every drop of fire from her ‘til she’s burning the both of them.
And that’s what she wants; yeah it’s a fucked-up sort of love, the kind that pushes you to the edge only to drag you back kicking and screaming. The sort of love that can be deadly, it’d only take a second for either of them to lose control, for his claws to appear at the wrong moment, for her to slip and the poison of her skin to bleed him dry.
And secretly it’s what they both want.
It’s only hours later when she’s lying in his arms and he’s staring at the ceiling hopelessly, because he knows now. He knows he can’t leave, he can’t ever leave.
Tomorrow night would be the same, he’d walk out that door, sit on that bike for hours, and she’d stand in the window, half-dressed and waiting, knowing he’d come back.
And she’d look at him afterwards staring at the ceiling and she’d snuggle closer, whisper in the dark, whisper in his ear, ‘Women are poison Logan, but it sure is one hell of a sweet death.’ And he’d nod silently.
And all along he thought he’d trapped her.