It was warm and sunny day. Just the kind of day that was best spent at the beach. And not just any beach, but a tropical one, with green sea, white sand, and lush, tropical forest surrounding you.
“And here I am…” It was little uncomfortable task, to try to peel a banana with gloved fingers, especially when the said fruit kept slipping from her fingers. It was like it was trying to escape from her. As soon as her hand wrapped around the plump and firm banana, it started to squirm, and she had to let go of it. She didn’t want to squish it. She hated mashed banana.
“Come on! I’m hungry!” She groaned, running after the banana that had suddenly grown a pair of legs and arms, and was currently running away from her. Apparently the stupid fruit was being mean, or really didn’t care. She stopped running, and watched after it until it disappeared to the thicket.
“Stupid banana. See if I care…” She murmured.
Sea looked inviting. She didn’t have bathing suit. For some reason she had seen it appropriate to dress up to her nightgown. Well, there was absolutely nobody else around… She shrugged off her nightgown, and took few tentative steps towards the shoreline. Would she dare to run in?
Water didn’t look that deep. And it was a lagoon. No waves. And from the looks of it, almost a kilometer worth of soft, sandy bottom of the sea. She spread her hands like wings, closed her eyes and took off running. She was running, she was running so fast that her feet didn’t even touch the ground anymore. Yet she had the distinct feeling that she wasn’t moving. She was going absolutely nowhere.
“All right, kid. Take it easy. We’ll ask Jean to take a look at you. Just calm down.” Voice sounded distantly familiar. She opened her eyes. Mr. Banana was back, wearing long-sleeved shirt, jeans and gloves, holding her up from the ground from her armpits.
“Jeesh, you’re burning up. Stop kicking now. I’ll take you to med lab. There has to be something Jean can give to you. I’m quite sure you’re not supposed to twitch and cramp like that.”
“Leave me alone, you stupid fruit!” She kicked Mr. Banana between legs.
“Shit… You aren’t helping me here, Marie…” Mr. Banana growled, flung her over his shoulder and started walking towards the forest.
“Let me go! Let me go!”
“Stop hitting me!”
“Grrr… Let me go!”
“Stop kicking me!”
“Put me down, NOW!”
“Oww… Stop biting me!”
Finally, after long and jarring journey through the forest, bouncing on surprisingly firm shoulders of Mr. Banana they arrived to a place Mr. Banana for some reason called the med lab. To Marie it looked like some sort of temple. Mr. Banana slapped her unceremoniously to a very ceremonious-looking stone altar. She tried to scramble away, but Mr. Banana held her in place with one hand, and reached somewhere behind him with the other, yanking a peculiar looking palm tree beside him.
“Look at her, Jean. She’s a mess. Do something!” Mr. Banana growled.
“I wouldn’t be a mess if somebody hadn’t dragged me through half of the fucking jungle like some caveman…” Palm tree shivered a bit, shaking its red leaves.
“I have already tried. She doesn’t seem to respond to anything. This is a nasty one. I’ll take a blood sample…” Blood sample? What the fuck had the palm tree in its mind? She felt a sharp jab of a needle on her arm, then it was over. Palm tree was turning around, holding a coconut shell filled with her blood, and suddenly she felt very weak.
“Take her to a cold bath. It should lower the temperature, maybe buy us some more time…”
“That’s it, kid… Stay with me, Marie. Focus.” **slap!** “Focus, Marie! Open your eyes. Open your fucking eyes!”
“Whu… Wha… Logan?”
”You have to stay awake. Keep those eyes open. Don’t make me tape them open. I will if I have to…”
“Why is it so cold…”
“Do you know who you are?”
“Duh… Marie…”
“Good. Do you know who I am?”
“Forgot your name, Logan?”
“No, I didn’t. Do you know where you are?”
“Uhh… In a bathtub? …In cold water? Logan, let me out of here… I’ll get sick…”
“You have been sick nearly a week now, Marie. Jean is checking your blood downstairs to see if she missed something at the first tests she took from you.”
“Sick? I wasn’t sick… You were…”
“I was. I got better. Then you got ill.”
“I knew I would catch it…”
**slap!**
“Ow! What was that for!”
“Don’t fall asleep. I don’t like hitting women, but I will fucking mop the floors with you if you even try to go back to sleep. Understood?”
“…Sir, yes, sir…”
“Not funny, kid. I have been so fucking worried…”
**meep, meep! meep, meep!**
“Really original ring tone, Logan…”
“Fuck you, kid. You’d prefer if I had one of those pansy-assed whiny-boys squealing like pigs after some non-existent chick… Yeah, Jean?”
“No… Maybe something from AC/DC…”
“Isn’t that those old Aussie guys squealing like pigs after… well, after something? … No, I wasn’t talking to you, Jean. What did you say?”
“No! Well, yeah… They’re kind of old… And Australian… And the lead singer IS kind of squealing… But it’s manly music, the kind of that tells people you take shit from no one…”
“Okay, Jean. I’ll do it. Bring the adrenalin. Bye.”
“What are you doing? Wasn’t I supposed to stay in the bathtub? Logan? Logan?”
“I’d rather do this on the bed… Ready, kid?”
“Uhh… For what, Logan? I’m still sick, and besides I’m not even legal, or even interested in you like that or… Well, maybe I am but that’s not the point… Why are you taking your gloves off?”
“You’re going to borrow my mutation. There’s no other way you can kick whatever that is that is bothering you. It is flu, but Jean hasn’t seen anything like that before. Ready, kid?”
“Logan, no!”
“Yes. Jean will be here soon. She’s bringing the crash cart, just in case. Relax. It’s not like we haven’t done this before…”
“Logan! Ackkk…”
“T.N.T.”
“What…”
“I got you a new ring tone to your cell. T.N.T. from AC/DC.”
“Why?”
“It took exactly thirty seconds from your mutation to heal me. It took even less time from the new you in my head to clear off all the other squatters. Old you, Magneto and David.”
AC/DC
T.N.T.
See me ride out of the sunset
On your colour TV screen
Out for all that I can get
If you know what I mean
Women to the left of me
And women to the right
Ain't got no gun
Ain't got no knife
But don't you start no fight
CHORUS:
'Cause I'm T.N.T. I'm dynamite
T.N.T. and I'll win the fight
T.N.T. I'm a power load
T.N.T. watch me explode
I'm dirty, mean and mighty unclean
I'm a wanted man
Public enemy number one
Understand
So lock up your daughter
Lock up your wife
Lock up your back door
And run for your life
The man is back in town
Don't you mess me 'round
CHORUS
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Author's Chapter Notes:
That's it. For now. I'm feeling much better now. somehow clearer. who knows, if I get this sick again some day, I might continue this. Or not. Dear God. Should have locked up the comp when I got the fever...