Her birthday. It was her birthday, and he didn't even remember it. She thought he’d maybe warm up to her again for her special day, but he hadn’t. Jubilee and Kitty remembered her birthday, but that didn't really count. They were girls and girl friends always remembered stuff like that; not Logan. He was too busy being Mr. Cool and Casual to remember something personal like birthdays. Asshole. She could’ve dropped hints this morning when they’d been forced together in practice, but she had her pride.
She was supposed to be having a good time, dancing and partying at her favorite night club. It was supposed to be fun. Kitty and Jubes had even ordered a huge bottle of champagne for them to share. Rogue was supposed to be happy, not brooding. Brooding was something Logan did.
She had to pull herself together before she ruined the rest of their evening out, and blamed that on Logan too. The problem was, she couldn't confide in either Kitty or Jubes about what she was feeling. She wasn’t even sure exactly *what* she was feeling, but Logan was definitely part of the problem. Damn him, his elusiveness, his stupid pride, and his stubborn need to act all … Logan-ish and protective. Rogue felt her hand tighten its grasp on the champagne glass. Protection wasn't what she wanted. She wanted him; wanted something from him that had little to do with protection ... and she wanted him to want her too.
She observed the other two girls as they giggled and made eyes at any cute boys passing by. Rogue cared about her friends dearly, but sitting there with them - she felt like a sham. She was hiding a dirty little secret that they would never understand; not just about Logan, but about what happened to her at the cage fight. She couldn’t let it go. Her attraction to what went on there, her run-ins with Victor, how she felt around him and Logan ... it couldn't be normal. A normal, healthy girl her age wouldn't have her thoughts, her fantasies ... her needs.
"Oh honey, what's the matter?" Kitty's concerned voice brought her back to reality.
Rogue sighed and emptied her glass. Every god damn thing was wrong.
"Nothing ... really," she said gloomily and smiled a smile that didn't reach her eyes.
"I don't believe you," Jubes said, then softly added "'cause I know that look. It's *the* look."
Rogue frowned at her friends, and looked down at her now empty glass. Champagne. More champagne was what she needed, not an interrogation.
"What look?" she asked while refilling her champagne flute.
Jubilee smiled. "It's a guy, ain't it sweetie?"
When Rogue didn't respond, but suddenly found the bubbles in her champagne a lot more interesting - both Kitty and Jubes gave her a simultaneous 'Oh'. Yeah 'oh', she thought and sighed. She felt like laughing at the whole thing. What a fool she was to think something was significant about the times Logan had gotten that weird look in his eyes ... the intimate moment they'd shared in the study, the blazing hot moment when she'd tried to tempt him. Logan's warm, strong hands on her skin ... it had felt so good. All she wanted was to feel like that again; comforted and caressed...and groped and grabbed. Any of it would be better than feeling like she was a pariah or some kind of liability.
Victor didn't seem to think things like that. He seemed okay with her as their squad leader, he definitely didn’t avoid her, and he never gave her shit about how she should act. He gave her shit alright, but not about those things. Rogue shook her head; Victor Creed could stand her being a grown up, but Logan couldn't? It made no sense. She wondered what Logan would say if he knew some of the thoughts she had ... frequently.
Jubes gently touched her arm. "So, Roguey ... who's the lucky guy?"
"You don't wanna know," she mumbled and took a gulp of champagne.
"It's not Bobby is it?" Kitty asked, chewing at her lower lip.
"No Kitty," she said, rolling her eyes, "not Bobby. I'm really done with him ... promise."
Jubilee reached across them to refill everyone's glass. "Nah chica. It ain't Bobby, but I bet I've got a good guess."
Rogue cocked an eyebrow at her friend as she continued.
"I'm thinkin' older...on your squad...big fella. Mmmm, I bet he's an animal in the sack. Ringin' any bells for ya?"
Kitty gasped. "Creed?! Rogue! Are you nuts?" she yelled.
"No - not Creed you dork!" Jubilee answered, giving the girl a shove. "Damn! I said animal - not monster."
"He's not *that* bad," Rogue found herself saying. Maybe Logan was bad enough news, and Victor was even worse, but still...
Both girls looked at her, slack-jawed.
"I mean he's bad, but I wouldn't say he's a monster. Not now, anyway." She shook her head again as they continued to stare. "Anyway - no, it's not Victor."
"It's Logan," Jubes answered for her. "Hell, that’s no big secret! Not to me anyways; we’re old roomies, remember? I was there when he left the first time. I am familiar with what *that* look means."
"And you'll take it to your grave, Jubes," Rogue stated emphatically.
"Of course I will, hon. But what's the big deal? Just tell him how you feel. No doubt he's all hot and bothered for you too." Jubilee added a dramatic gesture before tilting back her glass.
"First of all, he is most definitely NOT hot and bothered."
"How d'you know?" Kitty asked, slurring slightly. "I saw how he was checking you out th' other night."
Victor’s words came back to her like an echo. "Because a hot and bothered Wolverine wouldn't be able to keep his damn hands off of me — that’s how I know! You remember how he used to drool over Jean. I may have gotten him bothered for one night, but then it was 'bye-bye Logan'." Rogue nudged Jubilee for more champagne.
"We're gonna need another bottle," Jubes observed and flagged down a cute waiter.
"Well ... m'be you just haven't made it ... you know, clear that you're reeeaaally int'rested," Kitty offered.
"Have ya *not* seen how she looks at the man?" Jubilee interjected rather loudly. "I guess the dope just needs a clearer signal. Ya know ... wave him in with some of those air traffic control wand thingies ... big flashing lights."
"And you're one to talk about making things clear, Miss Kitty," Rogue added in a suspiciously drawn voice. They lost their train of thought when Kitty was hit with a case of the giggles.
Regaining composure, Jubilee continued. "Yeah! Whaddya call that thing you and Bobby do all day long? Dancing around each other - you're like love-sick puppies! You two should just hump in the hallway and get it over with!"
The girls broke into another fit of laughter, but a point was made for Rogue. She didn't want to do some silly, love-sick dance around Logan. She didn't want to just tempt him for one night and that's it; she wanted him to notice her and make a move. Giving up just wasn’t in her vocabulary, nor was wallowing in self pity. Hell, she’d been the untouchable girl before and managed, Logan couldn’t be *that* much of challenge. Maybe she wasn't making her interest clear enough.
They'd been friends for years now and it seemed nothing would ever change if she just left it up to him. She felt certain that all the feelings weren’t just one sided.
A basic feminine knowledge that was almost instinctual told her that there was something undeniable between them, simmering just beneath the surface, but Logan was fighting it. It was going to be up to her to bring it to a rolling boil.
The champagne tickled Rogue's nose as she continued to sip. Its effervescence made her feel giddy and self assured. She would just march right up to him and lay it on the line. The worse that could happen would be rejection, but then at least she'd know how he felt. An answer would be clear cut either way. At least he wouldn't be able to ignore her anymore. Dressed classy and feminine for her birthday night, there was no way he could ignore how she looked. She'd make him take notice, flirt so flamboyantly there'd be no way to misinterpret it, and then make the first big move. She usually leaned more towards coy, but tonight wasn't the time for coyness. Tonight, she was going to be bold.
"Oh goodie," Kitty interrupted her thoughts once again. "More champagne!"
******
Carefully picking her way around the mansion, Rogue simply followed her nose. Attuned to that familiar scent of cigar, she made her way to the veranda. Logan stood near the concrete railing on the end, the ember on his cigar glowing bright then going dark as he inhaled and exhaled. Rogue fancied it a beacon, leading her to right where she wanted to be.
Just don't stumble or fall down, she thought, giggling to herself as she made her way up the stairs and across the veranda. The champagne made her feet feel a bit wobbly, but much more importantly, it was feeding her courage. The night air was cool, but Rogue felt on fire with the knowledge of what she was going to do. She sauntered past Logan and hoisted herself up on the ledge, leaning back and crossing her bare legs provocatively.
"How's it goin'?" she asked in a breezy voice.
Logan's eyebrow shot up at her behavior.
"It's goin' alright. How's it goin' for you, darlin'?" he returned her flirtation.
She took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly, encouraged by his response. "Oh I'm good," she said. “You done hiding from me yet?”
He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “I haven’t been hiding from you.”
“Sure … sure,” Rogue slid off her perch and moved into him.
"Do I look any different to you today, Logan?" she gazed up at him. She hoped so, and she hoped it would spark his memory about her birthday.
His stance turned rigid, but he couldn't ignore the heat that was radiating off of her. "Yeah. You're all dressed up - looks nice on you." She looked like a fucking vision, he thought to himself. This was exactly the reason he’d been avoiding situations like this. "And you've ... had a lot to drink."
Rogue put her hands just inside his jacket. "You think I look nice?" she asked, sounding surprised but feeling like the cat that just ate the cream.
"I think- I think it's time you went to bed, Rogue," he answered slowly, keeping his hands to himself.
"Mmmm, good idea," she purred and nuzzled into him until their bodies were brushing together. "You wanna tuck me in? Then you might get to see the underwear I bought a couple of weeks ago, black lace with a red bow in the back ..."
Logan cleared his throat. "Yeah, I know- I'm sure they look great on you."
“You think? I wasn’t sure you thought about things like that. About me like that. ”
Her heart was a thumping fist against her ribcage and even she was shocked at the words coming out of her mouth, but she was feeling bold and uninhibited. If she had to use sheer force of will to move those boundaries, then so be it.
"Marie...what are you doin’? You're drunk..."
"Don't 'Marie' me, Logan."
His body felt like unyielding steel against hers, but it was warm, and he couldn't hide his reaction to their closeness.
"You don't have any idea what you're doing. I'm trying to do the right thing here," he said, almost pleading, but his hand moved to rest on her hip. This was Marie, he reminded himself. The girl he’d tried to save and protect and was still trying to save and protect. She wasn’t a seventeen year old kid anymore, but she was still young; too young and too innocent, at least in Logan’s mind. She would always represent everything that was good and untainted by this world. As much as he could, he’d tried to keep her that way, unharmed from the likes of people like him. But what was he supposed to do when the thing he wanted to protect was the same thing he wanted to possess?
"I know exactly what I'm doing," she moved closer until their bodies were pressed together and she could feel him react.
"You've had too much to drink and it's got you thinkin' this is a good idea..."
"Shut up, Logan," she murmured and brushed her lips against the corner of his mouth. Her tongue slid gently across his lips and he tasted smoky and sweet.
Abruptly, his hands grabbed her head, tilting her face up to look at him. Logan was trying to read her, make sense out of what she was doing. Doe brown eyes, glazed with want, looked back at him. He wanted too and it was so hard to fight it when she was craving the same thing.
Rogue saw his hunger and the struggle in his eyes. He wanted to kiss her, but some part of him was holding him back. She watched him fight it just before she pressed her mouth against his.
His mouth was warm and smooth at first, but hard. It softened, and he didn't have to force his way in because she opened so willingly, wanting to taste him, wanting him to taste her. The kiss was gentle, she thought, his tongue like velvet. She thought about that tongue traveling her body and whimpered into his mouth. The kiss grew rougher then as his body pushed against hers. He was trying to dominate her mouth. Her skin was being rubbed raw by his coarse stubble and the hands on her head moved back into her hair and fisted tightly, almost painfully. It all felt absolutely amazing. She loved that she could make him lose control, wanted him to. He needed to lose control or he'd never cross over all those self made boundaries.
While he kissed her, it felt like she was soaring and Rogue tried to inhale a cry, but it escaped. Logan pulled back to see her wide eyed and gazing up at him with an unreadable expression. He could sense their arousal all around them and her look was so trusting and accepting.
Pink abrasions marked her flawless skin from his rough kiss and her lips were swollen and wet. Her hair was a mess and his hands were still buried in those silky strands. She looked like she was being ravished ... and he was the one doing the ravishing. Her appearance only made him want to take more, take it all. A small part of him thought maybe she should suffer too, for all the turmoil inside him. With his tongue in her mouth, he’d thought about giving in just to end the struggle. He’d take as much as he could until she was trembling and submissive in his arms — but it was too much. She’d try to give him what he wanted and Logan knew it wouldn’t end there.
He released her and stepped away.
"Go to bed, Rogue," he forced out.
She looked at him, stunned. Slowly she started shaking her head. "Oh. So now it's Rogue?"
The air around her was changing from aroused to upset. Logan could smell the hurt and anger on her. He stood there, watching her, knowing there was nothing he could say to defend his actions.
"You kissed me! You can't act like it didn't happen...it *just* happened!"
"I didn't mean for it to happen," he said calmly.
Rogue let out a low growl that she had to have picked up from him. "Damn you, Logan! What the hell is your problem? Do you like the way you are, because it's infuriating! How am I supposed to..." her voice trailed off, only to pick up again.
"Today was my birthday, asshole! Thanks for remembering," she yelled before stomping inside the mansion.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Giving up just wasn’t in her vocabulary, nor was wallowing in self pity. Hell, she’d been the untouchable girl before and managed, Logan couldn’t be *that* much of challenge. Maybe she wasn't making her interest clear enough.