“Bring, Bring” the phone in the mansion of Charles Xavier, home of the X-Men, was ringing.

“Hello, Xavier’s school for gifted mutants Jean Grey speaking”

“… …”

“Oh, oh right, ok thank you for informing us, yes thank you, goodbye.”

Jean put the phone of the mansion down, she was in a state of shock, she could not believe what she had just been told, and she would now have to go to her mentor and father figure Charles Xavier.

She was dreading it, however was she going to tell him that his best friend, had died.

Jean walked slowly towards Charles Xavier’s office, she knew that he was going to take this badly, but he had to know, it was for his own good, if only she didn’t have to be the perfect one the one that had to handle everything that went wrong.

She gave a sigh and then opened the door to Charles’ office.

“Charles, I just had a phone call,” Jean started, Charles had his wheelchair facing the windows that overlooked the spacious gardens. That was unusual Charles usually turned to face someone whenever they walked into the room. When Charles didn’t answer her she began to feel concern. “Charles?” She asked hesitantly.

She turned his wheelchair around with her telekinesis and was shocked to see tears’ coursing down the older mans face.

“He’s gone isn’t he? It is really true?” Charles stated in a broken tone.

“Yes, Charles, I’m afraid he is, how… how did you know?” Jean asked in sympathy for the old man.

“He…He said goodbye…he…he said he was sorry…and that he wished we could have been on the same team.” After Charles had managed to choke out those words he slumped unconscious in his chair, stricken with grief. As Jean reached out to touch him, her world went black.

Princess Lillandra of the Shi’ar empire made her way from the deepest regions of space to the planet earth, her old lover Charles needed her and she would help him, she knew of Eric’s death, she had known even before him that he was to die this very day, she also knew that Charles would take it hard, he was the caring sort of man, and even though they fought for different causes Charles and Eric had been best friends for many years. Charles had just suffered a nervous breakdown and that was very dangerous for a mutant telepath on the planet earth, so they would pick him up and then take him into space with them for a little while until he is better, the x-men will just have to cope by themselves for however long it will take.

The pickup was made some twenty minutes later and the Shi’ar along with an unconscious Charles Xavier were taken back to the mother ship for some much needed rest.

---

When Jean woke up she was shocked to find herself on the floor of Charles Xavier’s office, there was a hologram on the wall, it was Princess Lillandra telling them that they had taken Charles away for a holiday.

Jean got up and then let out a squeak of shock – why she was dressed like a floozy!

She was wearing a short red skirt that reached just below her knee and a red shirt that exposed her cleavage! What on earth had possessed her to go out dressed like a cheap trollop?

And she was wearing contact lenses! Where were her glasses?

She had better go and get changed before anyone noticed her.

Ororo woke up from her spot on her greenhouse floor – what on earth? Had she fainted? She got up slowly and stretched.

Where the hell was she! Why was she in a hot and stuffy greenhouse with only flowers to surround her? And what was she wearing, white shorts – they weren’t even hot pants! And a white T-shirt and not a skinny T-shirt a huge baggy one!

What the heck was going on here!

She needed to change before anyone saw her and her image as a bad ass went out of the window!

Logan and Scott had been sparring in the danger room when they had both passed out.

“Damn I guess we were workin’ too hard eh?” Scott commented and got up and strutted out of the room “Hey Logan, tell Jeannie that I’m takin’ my bike out to the local dive in town, oh and tell her to not expect me back till tomorrow.” With that Scott grabbed Logan's leather jacket and left the room.

“What the heck crawled up his butt?” Logan asked the now empty room, then he spotted the girls shower room and an evil thought crept into his head.

How funny would it be if he put hair dye in the girl’s shampoo? They would freak!

Upstairs in the girl’s dorm, Marie, Jubilee and Kitty had thought that they had all just fallen asleep.

“Hey Jubes how long were we asleep for?” Marie asked her bubbly friend.

“Dunno,” Jubilee whispered.

“That is like so weird that we all fell asleep at the exact same time,” Kitty said, her usual soft voice was husky and deeper.

“Yeah weird,” Jubilee mumbled.

“Well we’d better get ready fer dinner,” Marie announced, she had the urge to put something revealing on, ever since she had gained control she had never put anything to revealing on, she was always scared that she might lose control any second and injure someone.

Later at dinner all the boys were sitting at the table. Scott was still out, and would be for god knows how long. Logan, Bobby, St. John, Remy and Hank were all sitting at the table waiting for the girls to come down. Everyone had been shocked when Logan had walked in wearing a pink Hawaiian shirt. But they had never been so shocked when the women had walked in…

It seems that Ororo had gone to the hairdresser before dinner, when she walked in she was wearing black leather pants and a black bra top with a studded collar she had black lipstick on and her eyes were shadowed with thickly done black eyeliner.

But most of extraordinary of all was the fact that she had, had all of her hair shaved off, into a Mohican hairstyle, the middle bit was extra long though.

Then Jean had walked in and the whole room fell into shocked silence all over again. Jean had her hair scraped back into a tight bun she had on black-rimmed glasses with thick lenses. She was wearing brown tweed trousers that were three sizes too big and a matching tweed jacket, with a brown shirt underneath, she wasn’t wearing any makeup at all, and she shuffled in as if she didn’t want anyone to see her.

The biggest shock of all however was when the three youngest girls of the x-men walked in. Marie was first and she was wearing a red micro-mini skirt that was the type that had built in knickers, and a short sequined black boob-tube, on her feet were knee-high chunky platform black boots, she was also wearing red elbow length gloves, even though they were not necessary. Logan took one look at her and nearly swallowed his tongue! Kitty was next in and she was wearing, black and white striped stockings, a black miniskirt and a black meshed top with long sleeves. She had died her brown hair black and had her face whitened with dark makeup, she was 100% Gothic.

Jubilee however was not in her standard yellow, she was in grey and was hiding out of the way in the shadows, and she had no makeup on.

All of the mansion's inhabitants were sitting in the dining room and eating their dinner. When they were finished they were all talking among themselves.

“Ororo,” stated Bobby formally, “I like your hair, it is a little unusual but it suits you.”

“Gee, thanks Bobster, your approval means soo much to me!” Ororo said sarcastically.

“Hey ‘Ro your hair is like waay groovy, it is totally outrageous dudette and I was thinking of adding like a blonde streaks to my fur, that would look so totally righteous!” Hank shouted in a surfer boy voice.

“You know what your right it would soo suit you, it’ll bring out the blue of your eyes,” Ororo purred and she and Hank left the table and disappeared somewhere to do god knows what.

“Rogue, darlin’ ya seem to be wearin’ a lot less than ya usually do baby, it suits ya. Ya know what…” Logan started, only to break off suddenly when Scott walked into the room, Logan was suspiciously quiet and the whole room followed suit they all sat expectant and looking at Logan, he didn’t do anything but sit still and quietly, Scott swaggered over and then sat down. As soon as his butt hit the chair a loud farting sound emitted around the room, the room sat silent and then Logan burst out laughing, Scott stood up and picked up the whoopee cushion that was on his chair.

“Real mature, dweeb,” he growled at Logan and advanced on him slowly and menacingly, holding the whoopee cushion in front of him, as if he were going to make Logan swallow it.

“Hey man, relax, it was just a joke,” Logan stammered getting off of his chair and backing up around the room.

“Hey Scott, ya better leave Logan alone!” Marie shouted and stood in between Logan and the advancing Scott. Scott seemed to notice what she was wearing for the first time; he looked her up and down then licked his lips.

“Ugh! As if!” Marie curled her lip in disgust, “Ah don’t go fer tha ‘bad boy’ Scott I prefer more sensitive guys.” With that she went and sidled up to the pink shirt clad Logan and hugged him.

Scott just raised his eyebrow in disbelief.

“Scott! I cannot believe that you are flirting with Rogue, right in front of your wife, I think that I should take your place as team leader,” Bobby stated loudly.

“Whatever Bobby, oh and while your at it, you might wanna get someone to remove that stick from your ass!” With that Scott stomped out of the room, took a good look at Jean raised his eyebrows then kissed her passionately, although it didn’t seem that he wanted to.

When he had finished he let Jean go and then carried on out of the room.

Jean sat and blushed bright red then sat with her head down.

---

That night, Scott went out again, and this time he took Kitty out with him.

Jean was walking around looking lost, and her eyes were red and puffy as if she had been crying.

Jubilee was trying her best to hide from people; she was hiding in the bedroom she shared with Kitty and Rogue, as they weren’t in there.

There was a knock on the bedroom door and Jubilee jumped, she really didn’t want to talk to anyone. She haltingly went to the door and opened it slowly.

Outside her door stood St. John, he appeared to look nervous, he was toeing the carpet with one foot. Jubilee looked at him shyly and then opened the door wider and invited him in.

“You can come in, if you would like,” Jubilee invited. St. John looked up quickly and swallowed with an audible gulp.

“Oh, oh Ok,” he answered and walked into the room.

“Jubilee, I need to talk to you, it’s about our relationship. The thing is, do you want it to continue, you’ve been so distant lately, and I’m starting to think that maybe you don’t.” With that last word out of his mouth his bottom lip began to tremble, and tears fell from his eyes and streamed down his cheeks.

“Jubilee, why don’t you love me?” he wailed pitifully and started sobbing great racketing hiccuping sobs.

“Um, I do, I do love you,” Jubilee whispered painfully and tears started coursing down her cheeks too.

“Oh don’t ever leave me Jubilation,” St. John sobbed.

“Nor you me,” cried Jubilee. (A/N Yes another rhyme)

Meanwhile, in Hanks lab, he and Ororo were experimenting. With hair dye, Ororo had dyed the one strip of white hair that she had pink, and Hank now looked like Sully from Monsters Inc. He had purple splotches on his usual blue fur, due to dye spillage; he also had his much-desired blonde streaks, although it didn’t look quite as righteous as he thought it did.

Back at the local dive, Scott was playing pool and winning and then beating the crap out of the losers, all guy’s over seven feet tall.

Kitty was watching him and frowning with derision, as if that would impress her. He was such a jackass, thinking he was stronger than every man in the world, and more desirable too.

The way that he had treated Jean earlier had been absolutely diabolical.

Kitty looked at him and sneered. ~ Prick ~ she thought.

Bobby was sitting in Scott’s old office, and was staring at the picture of Jean Grey, he sighed wistfully, she was so beautiful, and she was elegant and poised and sensible. Look at what she was wearing lately – she looked stunning.

He had made up his mind, he was going to try and woo Jean, and provide her with a more stable home with him, instead of that good for nothing Scott Summers.

Jean was sitting in the library reading Grapes of Wrath, she wasn’t concentrating on the book however she was thinking about Robert, he was so smart and responsible, and handsome, he was a much better leader for the x-men than her irresponsible boyfriend Scott. He was acting like a ruffian and cheating on her with as many women as he could, well he was going to be sorry, Jean Grey was going to be looked after by a real man. Robert Drake.

Marie was looking for Logan, she knew that he wanted her, and she was going to take advantage of him tonight, she knew that he would be scared but that’s too bad because what Marie wants Marie gets and she wants Logan, and she was going to seduce him. She rounded the corner and saw Remy walking towards her, she smiled, Remy was good for her ego, and he had fancied her for a long time and flirted her every opportunity that he got.

“Roguie!” Remy shouted loudly and skipped up the hall towards her.

“Hey Remy,” Marie smiled sexily.

“Oh Roguie Darling, I loooove that colour on you, you look really smashing, how about you and me and my new dog floofie go shopping tomorrow?” Remy gushed and then without waiting for an answer pranced off down the corridor and Marie felt her jaw drop in disbelief, no, not Remy, he couldn’t be gay, he had to love her, even if she loved Logan, Remy was her ego man. “NNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!” Marie screamed.

“Wow Marie, are you ok, I was sooo worried about you,” Logan rushed over towards the stunned Marie, when she saw Logan she snapped out of her haze and smiled saucily. “Logan, hun, were ya been ah’ve been looking all ova for ya” Marie pouted and licked her lips.

“I’ve ah, been, um…” Logan stammered, before he could answer a loud bloodthirsty scream issued from down the corridor.

Kitty came rushing from her room, no longer in goth attire, but in her new black satin nightgown, her newly dyed black hair was now a gingery blonde colour. “I am going to kill you,” Kitty growled menacingly, and stalked towards Logan, who let out a high girly screech and ran down the corridor, Kitty in hot pursuit. Marie mused that perhaps it wasn’t such a smart thing to do, putting hair dye in Kitty’s shampoo.

Much later Logan had finally gotten away from Kitty after hiding in a tree for four hours. He tiptoed into the now dark mansion and crept to his room, he was just going past Marie’s door, when Kitty phased through the wall and grabbed Logan’s pink boxer shorts – the ones with the yellow smiley faces – and gave him the wedgie of a lifetime, Logan squeaked in agony and then walked bow-legged to his bedroom, gasping with each step he took.

Marie awoke at Logan’s anguished squeak ~ Logan’s in trouble ~ was all she thought as she took out through the door, she slipped through Kitty, who frowned in disgust, then laughed as she remembered Logan’s howl of pain. Marie ran through the corridor and up to Logan’s room, she kicked open the door heroically. The only trouble was, was that Logan happened to be on the other side of the door trying to yank his underwear out of his butt. Logan was hit upside the back of his head and was thrown to the ground.

Marie looked at the figure laying on the ground in a heap, and tried to recall her first aid training – oh yeah that was it, get the figure as comfortable as possible, ~ hmm those clothes don’t look very comfy~ Marie thought with an evil grin, and stripped Logan of all his clothes.

Earlier that night, Jubilee and St. John had gone on a date, he had picked her up at six o’clock and they had gone to see a foreign film, one with sub titles and they had both held each other as they cried at the agony and beauty of it all.

Afterwards they went to a top restaurant and as they were discussing the film, St. John once again burst into tears.

When they got home at ten o’clock they went to St. John’s room and wrote poetry until they both fell asleep on the floor.

Whilst they were doing all of this, Ororo and Hank, got drunk and then went and had there names changed by deed poll, Ororo Munroe was now Filthy McNasty Munroe, and Henry McCoy was now, Surfer McDude. They were both giggling inanely at there genius new names, when suddenly Ororo – no Filthy McNasty moaned in horror.

“What is dudette?” Surfer McDude asked in concern.

“Oh surfer, I like your last name, mine is still Munroe,” Filthy McNasty, McMoaned. (A/N sorry couldn’t resist)

“Well…why don’t we like get hitched!” Surfer McDude asked in excitement.

“That is such a good idea,” Filthy McNasty decided.

Later that day Mr. Surfer McDude and Mrs. Surfer McNasty-McDude returned from Vegas and went straight to their room, marriage licence in hand.

Meanwhile, Jean Grey and Robert Drake confessed their mutual love for each other and decided to get married later that year – after much careful planning. When Scott came back and heard of this he blasted apart the danger room, then he announced:

“I’m leaving Jeannie, ya can have Popsicle. I’m gonna go to Canada and find out about Logan’s past.” With that Scott went out to the garage to get his bike.

Jean and Bobby went up to their new room to consummate their love.

Remy came back just as Scott was heading out. “Scott what ever is the matter?” Remy asked in concern putting floofie down and reaching out a comforting hand to Scott’s arm.

Scott proceeded to tell Remy the whole sordid tale, and Remy took him to the kitchen and gave him bourbon to “soothe his nerves”. Before long Scott was paralytic and Remy took Scott up to his room, and laid him on the bed tenderly. Remy turned to leave when Scott whispered “stay with me” Remy didn’t need to be asked twice and he jumped into bed with him.

Lillandra was shocked when Charles recovered far quicker than she thought that he would and asked to be taken back.

When Charles and Lillandra arrived they realised that something was dreadfully wrong, the vibes coming from the mansion were confusing, so Charles, immediately realised what must have happened in those last minutes before Lillandra took him, and righted his students minds.

Kitty was the first to wake up when she looked into the mirror, and saw what a mess her hair was she screamed. “Oh my gosh!” and fainted clean away.

Jubilee and St. John were the next ones to awaken and St. John started to giggle at what Jubilee was wearing, but when he saw what he was wearing he screamed. ~ I’m wearing tweed. I didn’t think I even knew what tweed was! ~

Jubilee was awakened by St. John’s screams, when she saw what he was wearing she cackled in amusement, until she saw she was wearing grey – grey – no yellow.

Both then saw the poetry on the floor, and screamed again.

Jean was the next awake, she sleepily reached out to caress Scott, when she encountered a bare chest, it wasn’t the muscular one she was used too, this one was too smooth, to hairless, to soft. Jean’s eyes snapped open in shock and looked at her bed partner, Bobby’s blue eyes encountered hers. Jean screamed in horror. Bobby just grinned cockily – he couldn’t wait to brag to St. John and Remy.

Surfer McDude and Filthy McNasty-McDude awakened in each other’s arms. They were both a little shocked at their bed-mate.

“Hank your fur, it’s um multi-coloured,” Ororo explained trying to break the news gently.

“Ororo, my dear, your hair is um, pink, and kind of umm, bald!” Hank explained with a lack of finesse.

Ororo looked at her hair in the mirror and gasped, but then shrugged. “Oh well it will grow back,” she exclaimed quietly.

Hank gasped harshly and Ororo looked over at him.

“Hank? Hank? Hank, are you all right? Hank?” Ororo asked in concern.

“That isn’t my name,” Hank stated dully.

“What is then?” Ororo asked in confusion.

“It would appear that I changed my name to Surfer McDude,” Hank answered dully.

Ororo couldn’t hide the chuckle that burst from her throat.

“I shouldn’t laugh if I were you,” Hank stated coldly “It seems you changed your name too,” Ororo stopped laughing abruptly.

“Too what?” she asked dreading the answer.

“Filthy McNasty,” Hank replied with a slight grin, which was removed when he read the next sheet of paper.

“No Sorry that’s not right” Hank said slowly.

Ororo sighed in relief.

“It would appear to be, Filthy McNasty – McDude,” Hank replied in the same tone.

“You mean…” Ororo asked in comprehensive horror.

“Yes, we got married,” Hank replied.

---

In another section of the mansion Logan and Marie were starting to stir. Logan stretched and felt the warm body of a woman pressed into his back. Logan purred sensually as the woman stirred, rubbing interesting body parts into his back. The sensual purr however changed into a spluttering choke, when he caught the woman’s scent – it was Marie.

Marie stretched as she woke up, and felt a naked back pressed against her chest. She stiffened in shock, why the fuck was in her bed? She thought in panic.

She cracked one eye open and saw a naked back – a naked back she had first seen in a cage, in a bar in Laughlin City.

~ Oh good, it’s just Logan ~ Marie thought.

~ LOGAN! ~

Marie and Logan shot up at the same time, they both noticed Marie’s lack of clothes first – in fact she was just clad in her bra and panties. Then both eyes shot to Logan, who was wearing pink boxers with yellow smiley faces.

Logan shot out of bed and spun around looking for his jeans, when he heard Marie crack up.

Logan turned to face her, but she was too busy crying with laughter to answer his questioning look.

Logan turned his back to the mirror in dread and looked to see what was so funny. He was greeted by the sight off his ass – someone had pulled his boxers so that they were halfway up his back and ripped. Wow was he glad he couldn’t remember that wedgie he was sure that, that would’ve been painful.

Talking of painful – Remy and Scott were just waking up also – in each other’s arms. Both looked to each other and widened their eyes, both jerked away from each other simultaneously.

A small fluffy dog jumping onto Remy’s bed licking at his face broke the shocked silence. Remy tentatively reached out and read the dogs name from its tag it read – floofie.

Both Scott and Remy looked at each other and simultaneously screamed “NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Lillandra and Charles looked at each other.

“So…” Charles started. “I hear that space is nice this time of year – mind if I stay?”

“Not at all – let’s go,” Lillandra replied, both eager to escape from the screams issuing from the mansion.