Logan burst out of the room like it was on fire. He tripped over his own feet in his haste, stumbling as he righted himself in an unmanly tangle of limbs.

The small kid who unfortunately picked that moment to walk past, jumped back at least three foot in the air (partly aided by his mutation). He watched the big scary man as he took a few unsteady steps forward, before sagging against the wall, breathing so hard it looked like he was about to pass out. His eyes were widening in disbelief.

The kid backed slowly away. What ever it was, if it was enough to make the Wolverine act like that, then he didn't want to know.

-x-

Jean sensed the sorrow long before she heard the sound of crying. The sadness permeated the walls of the mansion, and she felt her heart wrench a little as she realised its source. Not again. Not Rogue. Not after all the girl had been though... She had to do something.

Stacking her work to one side, she locked up the lab for the night and hurried up the stairs, along to Rogue's room. Knocking gently, she pushed open the door to find the girl curled up tightly in a ball amid a tangle of sheets, sobbing her heart out.

'My God, what's wrong?' she asked. `Are you hurt? What happened?'

Rogue choked on her tears, she could hardly speak. She reached out blindly for a tissue, which Jean calmly passed her before sitting down on the large bed beside her, reaching over to smooth the wet hair out of her face.

'Tell me. What is it? Is it something to do with Logan?' At the sound of his name, Rogue's sobs just grew louder. Jean felt a horrible sinking feeling gnaw at pit of her stomach. This couldn't be right. Something must really be wrong this time.

Rogue sniffled and buried her face in her hands. 'He's gone away again,' she howled, totally distraught.

'He's WHAT?!' Right, that was it. She was going to kill him. It had taken them months to stop dancing around each other and get on with it, Scott had finally, *finally* got over the Jean-you're-flirting-with-Logan-again thing, and now *this*? She was not impressed. Did the big jerk not even realise that he'd broken the poor girl's heart?

Still, anger wasn't required here, comfort was. She put an arm around Rogue's shoulders, drawing her close. 'It's ok,' she soothed. 'We'll find him. I'll send Scott out to get him for you.'

Rogue looked up through a curtain of dark and light hair; there was a hint of scepticism. She had a point.

'Ok, I'll send Scott, Hank, Pete and Kurt out', she amended. Between the four of them, they might just manage it. Hopefully. 'Just tell me what happened sweetheart.'

'It's just...' Rogue began reluctantly, her voice still heavy from crying. 'I told him I loved him,' she sniffed.

'And he didn't say it back?' The bastard. To hell with Scott fixing him, she'd do it herself.

'No, he did,' Rogue looked away for a moment, a faint smile tracing
through the tears. 'And he told me that I was his, and then he...' she
choked on the words, 'he...'

'It's ok,' Jean soothed. `Just take it slowly.'

'He...we started to...' she blushed, 'you know.' She looked pointedly
down at the bed.

Oh.

Jean instantly removed her hands from the sheets, wishing she hadn't sat down in such a hurry. She made a mental note to send the cleaner in.

'Ok,' she said slowly...but it still didn't explain the sobbing. So far there had been declarations of love, then sex, and she didn't quite see the problem. Usually in most relationships that was considered a good thing. And it wasn't like it had been Rogue's first time either. They'd been going at it for weeks, anyone within 5 mile radius could have told you that.

She passed another tissue and decided to wait for the girl to elaborate.

'So we were...and it was good. I mean *really* good.'

Ok, those were details she could have done without knowing.

'But then when it came to actually...you know...he couldn't...um...'

'He couldn't what sweetheart?'

Rogue just gave her an embarrassed look, almost willing her to read her thoughts. 'You know...get it...get a...' She mumbled something into the covers.

'Get a what?' Were they having problems with contraception? Because she was a doctor, she could always...Oh... Realisation dawned. Admittedly a little late. 'You mean...' She made a non-too subtle hand gesture. Rogue nodded. And so help her, the effort she made to fight back the laughter should have been Oscar nominated.

It should have been easy; she was a perfectly serious adult; it was a perfectly serious situation. So why exactly did she feel as though she was about to...to... She choked back a very un-Jean like snigger. No this was not good.

Stay calm, stay calm, she repeated to herself, trying to stem the rising tide of hysteria threatening to engulf her. Think wavy blue sea. Think of un-funny things. Scott in a mood. Storm telling a joke. Hank in a bikini. Death. Think about death. 'So you, uh, had a few, uh...problems,' she managed, hoping Rogue hadn't noticed the sudden highness of her voice. 'And then he left?'

Rogue was bright red with shame. She nodded. 'He ran out the room
faster than anything I've ever seen. Jean, what if he never comes back?'

Death. Dying. Viagra. Nope! Mustn't go there. Death death death death. This wasn't working. She had to get out of here, and fast.

'Don't you worry.' She was already rising to her feet and edging out of the room. 'We'll find him. And it's best to start, uh, right away, as they say. So I'll go now and, *choke* ...get on with the finding...' She gave her what she hoped was a reassuring smile, before snatching the box of tissues off the night stand and thrusting them into Rogue's hand as a parting gift, then bolting from the room.

She made it down to the end of the corridor, and under the circumstances, she felt it a pretty good achievement. She knew she was respected, she knew she was supposed to be seen as adult, responsible, a behavioural role model. But as she sank down against the wall, head held in her hands, her body began to convulse with wild hiccupping giggles. The sort that should never come from someone that looked like her.

The students that passed gave her a wide berth.

'It's not funny,' she told the wall, only partly aware that trying to reason with inanimate objects was never a good sign of mental stability. 'It's a very serious...snigger...but *Logan*? Ah ha ha ha haa haa! AHH HAA HAA HA HA! HAHAHAAA!'

Unfortunately, she was no better off when Scott found her a good ten minutes later. He had that edgy tense expression he got when he couldn't quite manage to hide his panic. 'Jean? Baby what's wrong?' His face was a mask of concern. 'One of the students just rushed in saying you were having some kind of breakdown? Honey? Are you ok?'

'I...' *choke* '...I'm fine,' she gasped. 'It's just that...' She tried to be serious, so help her she did. But suppressing the laughter only made her snort loudly in the most undignified fashion, and the shocked look that Scott gave her set her off again.

The alarm etched on his face intensified. 'What it is? Jean, you're worrying me. What's wrong?'

'Nothing,' she squeaked, then coughed. 'It's...' Her face stretched into a silly grin and she dissolved into another fit of giggles.

'Right, that's it,' he said. 'I'm going to get the Professor.'

That sobered her up. 'No don't,' she said quickly, coming to her senses with a jolt.

'Well unless you tell me what's going on in ten seconds, then that's where I'll be.'

'Scott,' she pleaded.

'Nine, eight, seven...'

'Please, I shouldn't tell.'

'Six, five...'

'Don't make me, he'll never forgive me.'

That shut him up. His jaw clenched, a muscle twitched. 'Who? Logan? What's he done? Has he been flirting with you again Jean because I swear that-'

She shook her head. 'No. Nothing like that. Just...' she sighed, battling her inner conscience. There was really no way out of this. She hesitated, then leaned close to whisper something in his ear.

His expression froze.

'Only you mustn't tell anyone, alright? It wouldn't be fair.' She studied him as he thought about it for a moment.

'I promise,' he said, hand on heart. 'Not a soul.' He looked genuine enough.

Why was it that she didn't believe him?

In the end, it took her fourteen hours, six dingy bars, two strip joints and one rather embarrassing incident involving an escort agency and a police officer, to find Logan. It then took her two hours more to persuade him to come home. Eventually, after plying him with excessive alcohol, she successfully half heaved, half cajoled him into the car. It had been telling him of Rogue's inner torment that had finally done it. That and the horse tranqs she had slipped into his vodka.

She had told him that girl had barely left her room since...the *incident*...as she liked to call it. He'd remained growly and scratchy and more than a little reluctant, but he had returned with her. And she was thankful for that. She did not know how she would explain herself to Rogue otherwise.

She was also thankful that his healing factor kicked in and sobered him up before he threw up over Scott's expensive leather seats.

By the time they got back to the mansion, she was shattered. Feeling pleased at a job well done, all she wanted to do was prod him in the direction of Rogue and let him do all the talking while she sloped off to bed. The only flaw in her plan was that Rogue was no where to be seen.

Logan was not happy.

Jean held a tired hand over her eyes for a moment. Why *her*? Why did she have to deal with this? Was this punishment for laughing? With a heartfelt sigh, she resigned herself to the fact that she was now going to have to turn right back around, and go and look for Rogue.

She stopped, half way out the door. Paused. Logan was looking edgy, about to run. This was not good. Thinking fast, Jean used her powers to search out Scott. She felt her shoulders sag in relief when she realised he was just along the corridor, in the kitchen with Ro, Kurt and Hank. Excellent. Logan-sitters.

'Go,' she ordered him firmly, ignoring his sullen scowl. 'The others are in the kitchen. Stay there and I'll find her. I'll bring her back to you.' She thought he might put up a fight, but it just went to show how bad he was feeling, that after glaring at her for only a few moments, he simply nodded, once, then made his way up the corridor, bristling at anyone unfortunate enough to get in his way.

Relieved that, for the time being at least, he was no longer her burden, Jean briefly scanned the minds of all the residents for knowledge of Rogue's whereabouts. She groaned inwardly when she realised that she was out at the mall with Jubilee. Sympathy shopping no doubt. She took the car keys back out of her pocket...then froze as Scott's voice echoed down from the kitchen.

'Ah Logan. So glad you could *come*...'

She was just imagining things. Wasn't she...?

She made it as far as the gravel driveway before she noticed anything odd. Ok, she had been away all night, but she definitely did not remember a flag pole outside the main entrance. And someone had not bothered to properly raise...the...

Oh God, Scott. What had possessed her to leave Logan with *him*? Stupid stupid stupid! She ran back to the kitchen, trying not to trip over any children in the way, desperately hoping there were going to be survivors.

To her immense relief they were all seated quite calmly. Kurt and Ro at the breakfast bar, Hank hovering by the door, Scott leaning against the counter. It was a totally innocent domestic scene. Ok, Logan was glaring blackly at the table top, but that was nothing unusual. She breathed a sigh of relief.

'Scott,' she said, taking care to keep her voice level and not alarm Logan. 'Why is there a flag in the driveway? And why is it flying at half-mast?'

'What are you implying, dear?' Scott smiled cheerfully. A little too cheerfully.

'You know very well what I'm implying. Logan is-'

'Nonsense,' Scott dismissed her with a wave of his hand. 'Logan's just had a bit of a hard time recently.'

Kurt erupted in a very suspicious coughing fit.

'All he needs,' he continued innocently, 'is a really *stiff* drink.'

Jean couldn't be sure, but she thought she heard a snort of laughter from Ro.

Logan turned his glare on Scott. 'You got something to say, One-eye?'

'You alright there Logan,' he smiled kindly as if addressing a small child. 'You look bored rigid.'

Storm choked, hands covering her mouth.

Logan got up from his chair, his face furious as he advanced on Scott. He snarled and growled out a few choice swear words, Hank's restraining hand on his shoulder the only thing stopping him from a good gutting.

'Now, now Wolverine,' said Hank. 'He's trying to rile you. We can all see that. Don't rise to the bait.'

Oh God, thought Jean. Not Hank as well.

'We know you've been dealt a rough hand recently but-'

'You wanna shut it Scooter? Before I introduce you to my claws?'

'You sure you can extend them Logan, because last time-'

'Stop it!' said Jean. 'Stop it, the pair of you. Honestly, it's worse than dealing with teenagers.'

Logan growled.

'Don't overreact Jean,' said Scott in his most serious voice. 'I'm just concerned about Rogue that's all. Logan really needs to sort that out. As far as I'm concerned he's made a complete cock up of the entire situation.'

Kurt gave up trying to hide it. He was near doubled over, clutching at his blue sides.

'I agree. He's enlarged it beyond all proportion,' added Hank, who was unable to suppress a grin at this fun new game.

Scott, miraculously, had managed to keep a straight face. 'Totally,' he said to Hank, as if he had just expressed a most valid point. 'He is making mountains out of molehills. Or should it be the other way round?' He pretended to think for a moment as Logan shot him a look of absolute death. 'But I apologise if I upset you. No hard feelings ok?'

It was too much. Too much. Even Jean felt the hysterics creep up on her. She willed herself not to loose control. She had to do something. Anything. She looked desperately around for some washing up to distract her. Damn. Whoever invented dishwashers needed shooting. Drinks! Yes, that would do it. She could fix drinks and then they could all calm down.

'Listen Logan, let me get you a drink. Coffee ok? I know it's not beer. And something to eat.'

Thank God, that seemed to placate him a little. He sat reluctantly back down and she boiled the kettle, well aware of the heightened tensions in the room behind her as she spooned a heap of instant into a cup.

'Let me help you with that.'

She looked suspiciously at Scott, who was all friendly charm. He took the coffee out of her hands before she could protest, then fumbled around in the cupboard for some food. He found some bread rolls and dropped one on to a plate.

'Here you are Logan. The students ate the last of the cake. I know it's not much, but it's unleavened, so you should be able to-'

That did it. The room exploded. Storm all but fell on Kurt, who was crying into the sleeve of his shirt. Hank had turned to face the wall, leaning against it for support, so that all that could be seen was the shaking of his hairy blue shoulders.

Then there was a blur of movement. Faster than she could blink, Logan had Scott up against the wall, his face distorted with fury. 'You better hope your girl there can sew good Bub, 'cause I am gonna-'

'What's going on here?'

If there ever was a more opportune moment for Rogue to return home, then Jean doubted she would live to see it.

'Nothing,' said Scott, his jovial tone completely at odds with the nine inches of adamantium aimed at his jugular. 'Friendly chat. How are you Rogue? Been out for a while? *You're* obviously having no problems *getting up* in the mornings.'

`Stop! STOP!' Jean jumped between them just in time. What was *wrong* with Scott? Did he have a death wish? She put a hand on Logan's shoulder, trying to get him to put her fiancé down, but it wasn't working.

'Logan?' Only Rogue's soft voice seemed to have an effect.

Jean watched with relief, as his scowl softened slightly, though his hold on Scott remained...firm...oh God. Had she really just thought that?

She tried not to laugh. Tried to focus on the serious...she caught Ro's eye, who was chewing her lip in an effort to keep control. It was too much. She couldn't help it. She dissolved into a fit of laughter, burying her head in her hands, having no choice but to give herself over to it. 'I'm sorry,' she choked through mouthfuls of ridiculous, hiccuping giggles. She wiped her eyes and tried to look beseechingly at Rogue, but it didn't help. She couldn't stop.

Logan growled at everyone in the room. He picked Scott up by his shirt, roared at him, and deposited him roughly in the sink. Then he strode across the kitchen, scooped his girl up over one shoulder, shopping bags and all, and disappeared from sight.

'Logan? It's the middle of the day, why are we going to the bedroom?' Jean could hear Rogue squeak as he stomped down the corridor. 'Logan, what are you doing?'

'Teachin those bastards a damn lesson in what the Wolverine can...WHO PUT THE FUCKIN VIAGRA ON MY BED?'