Logan sighed happily, as he hauled the grocery bags out of the car boot. Marie had woken that morning, complaining of a headache, so he had taken Emily to kindergarten, and stopped to do the grocery shopping on the way home. He never would have imagined such a mundane task could have brought him such peace and contentment.

He couldn't wipe the grin off his face as he thought back on his life, it seemed he hadn't been able to do that for at least the last five years, not since he stood at that altar with Marie when she said the words that made her his wife. Five years they had been married, four years they had been mommy and daddy to little Emily, their surprise 'accident' baby girl. His life was amazing, not perfect, nothing ever was, but it was so much better than he ever could have imagined when he had picked that sassy little brat up off the side of the road ten years ago.

He was putting the groceries away in the kitchen as quietly as he could, hoping Marie was still asleep and not wanting to wake her. The headaches had started when she finally managed to get a hold on her mutation, or started to. Her control, the Professor explained to them when they were at the mansion for one of her sessions, was like a muscle, it had to be exercised to reach its full potential but that exercise was done inside her brain. At the beginning, even short periods of control had left her with a splitting headache. As it got stronger though, they both agreed it was worth it, especially after the first time they were able to make love without any barriers only two months prior. She was now able to hold her control solidly for over a week before the headache hit.

"Hey Logan," a soft voice caught his attention from the doorway.

"Hey baby, you should be resting," Logan murmured, making his way over to her and dropping a kiss on her hair. "You feeling better?" he asked.

At Marie's half-hearted hum in response he frowned a little, it wasn't like Marie to be so quiet. Shrugging it off as the headache Logan set breakfast in front of her, he had picked up her favourite while he had been out. By the time he had put away the last of the groceries Marie was still picking listlessly at her breakfast, a small, sad frown on her face.

"Alright, what's wrong?" Logan asked, straddling one of the bar stools opposite her.

"... Have you ever... looked back on your life and wondered... what if? Thought maybe... something was missing? Like maybe you rushed things... and missed out on some things?" Marie posed in almost a whisper.

Logan hadn't been prepared for that, the feeling like he had just been sucker punched in the gut sent a wave of nausea over him as he wondered, had Marie been feeling like that? Did she think she had made mistakes? Did she think she had 'rushed things'? ... Did she think he was one of those things she had mistakenly rushed? Shoving the sheer terror at those thoughts aside, he settled instead on answering the questions as they had been posed.

"Have I looked back on my life and wondered? Yeah, and honestly, it would have turned out shit compared to what I have right here, right now, I've got you, and we've got Emily, and that is more than I ever could have dreamed of having in my life, I haven't missed out on anything, nothing that's more important than this at least," he answered softly.

"... I wish I felt the same way," Marie replied, after a pause for thought.

He stopped breathing at her words.

"D-do you regret this Marie? Do you regret us, and Emily?" he asked, trying to decipher exactly how he was feeling right now. Was he hurt? Angry? Terrified?

"... Yes and no, I love you, and I love Emily but... I regret not doing certain things, not having more independence before I settled down... I mean, sure I hitchhiked for a few months in my teens, that's pretty independent but I spent all that time terrified and trying to hide and not die... then I was at the mansion, and the rules were crazy strict and we never really got a chance to be teenagers and go wild and have fun... and we were always kind of unofficially together, I never had boyfriends, and teenage sweethearts, and mess around, then we moved in together and a year later I was a mom... I never really got that 'me' time... you know?" Marie haltingly stated.

"No, I don't know..." Logan started, trying to hold back the anger that was trying to take over as the dominant emotion as she spoke.

"You do damn well know what I'm talking about, hell, how many hundred women did you fuck around with before me, huh? You had freedom, you could go where you wanted, when you wanted, with nothing to tie you down--" Marie replied, her voice louder with just an edge of her own temper.

"Marie, that life was shit, it was empty and lonely and held absolutely no meaning or--" he interrupted, only to be interrupted himself.

"At least you got to come to that conclusion all by yourself, me, I had nothing else, I never got to make that choice, I never got to have that freedom," Marie shouted, slamming her fork down on the counter-top beside her barely touched plate.

"You made that choice the day you married me, Marie!" Logan roared in reply, anger finally taking over in reaction.

"How can I make a choice when I don't know what the alternative is!?" Marie yelled back. "...I regret my choice," she whispered a moment later.

Immediately Logan felt the anger drain out of him as the terror and heartbreak set in, he slumped back down onto his seat, which he had stood from only moments earlier. "What are you saying Marie?" he murmured, his voice thick as he forced the words past the lump in his throat.

"I'm saying, I need that freedom I missed out on," Marie replied decisively. "I want a chance to go out there and live my life, to screw up, and have carefree fun, so I can decide if this is really what I choose," she clarified.

"You want a divorce?" Logan asked plainly.

"Just a separation, for now," Marie replied, refusing to look him in the eye as she set out the plan she had clearly already made. "I've got an apartment in the city, Emily can stay here with you, it's closer to her school, I'll come and see her on the weekends if that's okay with you, basically I just want you to stay out of my life and let me know what it's like to live without your shadow constantly hanging over me," Marie said bluntly.

Logan considered what she was saying, if she already had an apartment ready to go then she must have been planning this for a while. Then another thought hit him, and the anger returned as he sneered at her, "So, I was just convenient then? The only sucker dumb enough to risk your skin and you took me as, what, a consolation prize? Now you can touch, anyone but me huh, now you've got the bugs out of the control... you were just fucking using me?"

"No, no Logan, I love you, I want to be sure I love you for you, and not just because you were the only one who would touch me," Marie answered, though he wondered if her arguments sounded as weak to her as they did to him.

"Fucking bullshit," he fumed through gritted teeth as he left his seat again to pace the kitchen, though all he wanted right now was to tear the place apart in fury.

"Think what you want," Marie shrugged nonchalantly, as she too stood. "I'll see you on Saturday," was all she said as she left the room. She returned mere minutes later with two suitcases.

"So, this morning's headache was a ruse to get me out of the house so you could pack? What else have you been lying to me about Marie?" he asked, though it was obviously rhetorical as he continued without giving her chance to respond. "If you walk out that door, you and me are done, you can come back to see Emily, you'll always be her mother, but you break your vows to me and we are over, I won't be picking up the pieces when you realise just how badly you've fucked up once a dozen guys have used you up and left you wanting, I love you Marie but I won't do that, I can't do that... how would I ever trust you... how can I ever trust you again." As the anger began to ebb away again, he turned, and stalked up the stairs to their bedroom.

He was standing silently in the middle of their room when he heard the front door click shut, a moment later he heard Marie's car start. Grief was the new emotion that saturated him as he collapsed to his knees, and for the first time in his life he cried, clutching the shirt Marie had been wearing to sleep just that night, one of his, that smelled like her, like them. He didn't move again until he heard the alarm going off, to tell them it was time for Emily to be collected from school.

"Oh god, Em... what do I tell Emmy?" he asked the empty room, wishing Marie was there to give him the answer.

"Daddy!" Emily squealed happily, as she ran toward him, dark curls bouncing wildly. It seemed she had again lost the hair ties he had tied her hair into its usual pigtails with that morning; that girl went through more hair ties than he ever could have imagined possible.

"Hey squirt, you have a good day today?" Logan asked, as he crouched down to catch her in his arms and hug her tightly.

"Uh huh, we did paint today, with our fingers, look at my picture, that's you, and that's mommy, and that's me, and that's my doggy," Emily excitedly explained.

"Em, you don't have a dog," Logan reminded her with a grin.

"Not yet, maybe one day, maybe for Christmas," Emily hinted hopefully.

Logan chuckled, before helping Emily roll the painting up so she could take it home with her. Keeping a firm grip on her hand, they crossed the school carpark to head home.

"Hey squirt, you want to go to the park for a while?" he asked, as he was buckling her into her car seat.

"Yay!" Emily cheered, continuing to chatter happily on the short drive to the park, before she took off in the direction of the swings as soon as she was released from her seat. "Daddy! Start me off!?" she called, kicking her legs wildly as she tried to get the swing to move.

Logan watched her play happily, trying to push thoughts of what he had yet to tell her into the back of his mind, he would let her have this first. Eventually, as the sun dipped toward the horizon, he called her back so they could head home.

"What do you want for dinner squirt, should we get something special?" he asked, as he buckled her back into her car seat. Laughing as she rattled off a long list of things she wanted before he reminded her, she could only have one.

--

He pulled into the driveway not long after, the sun was set, Marie's car was still gone, the lights in the house were all turned off. With no other choice now, Logan knew it was time to tell Emily.

"Hey Em... when we go inside, it's just going to be me and you now, okay squirt?" he said softly, catching Emily's attention immediately.

"And mommy?" she asked confused.

"No sweetheart, mommy... mommy's gone to live at another house," he tried to explain.

"Are we going to live at another house too?" Emily asked.

"No, we're going to live here, and mommy's going to live at the other house, and mommy's going to come and visit on the weekends," Logan tried again.

"Oh... but why?" Emily asked, scrunching her nose up in a perfect imitation of confused Marie.

"Well... mommy needs some time to herself for a while," Logan replied softly.

"Oh... why?" Emily asked again.

"Mommy's just... a little confused right now, she's been a little stressed, with controlling her powers and all, she just needs some alone time, like you do sometimes when you get grumpy and go hide under your bed," Logan teased, earning a little giggle from the girl.

"How long will she be at the other house?" Emily queried.

"I don't know squirt, but she will come and visit, she's going to come and see you on Saturday, that be okay?" he prompted gently.

"Will she watch cartoons with me?" Emily asked with a grin.

"Maybe, you could play some games too, maybe go to the park," Logan suggested.

"Okay, that sounds fun, daddy... I'm hungry, can we go inside now?" Emily suddenly announced, changing the subject entirely.

With a chuckle Logan agreed, and Emily quickly freed herself from her car seat harness and jumped over the seat to follow him out his door. Dinner was a little more subdued than normal but though Emily did glance toward Marie's seat a couple of times she didn't say anything more about her absence.

Bedtime was a whole different story...

"Em, what's wrong?" Logan asked, hunkering down on the floor to peer under the bed where Emily was lying, hugging her favourite doll and crying.

"I- I can't kiss mommy goodnight," she sniffled miserably.

Logan froze, he had no idea how to fix this... "Uh, well, what if we call mommy, on the phone, and you say goodnight to her that way?" Logan suggested, kicking himself the minute he did and Emily's eyes lit up; he had no idea if Marie would take a call from him.

"Yeah, we can do that," Emily replied. Wriggling out from under the bed, she sat on her fluffy rug, wiping tears from her face as Logan pulled out his cell phone.

The phone rang, and rang, and cut off, turning away from Emily to hide his scowl he redialled. This time it rang, and rang, and was answered with a harsh snap.

"What do you want Logan, for God's sake, you can't even give me one day!" Marie started.

"Emily wants to say goodnight, is that alright?" Logan asked calmly, ignoring Marie's argumentative tone. He seriously had no idea what the hell had gotten into her, she had never behaved this way before. Hell, they'd never even had an honest to god fight before – well, barring that one time he forgot to put the toilet seat down...

"... Oh, um... I suppose," Marie replied, her tone suddenly softer and maybe even sad.

"Thank you," Logan murmured, as he turned back to Emily, who was now sitting expectantly on her bed waiting. Hitting the speakerphone, he set the cell down on her bedside table. "You say night-night to mommy squirt," he directed, moving away to give them some semblance of privacy.

"Mommy?" Emily called out softly.

"I'm here sweetie, are you all ready for bed?" Marie asked softly, though Logan couldn't hear the usual smile in her tone.

"Uh huh, we had Chinese food for dinner, then daddy let me watch a movie, and then I had a bath, and brushed my teeth, and I got my nightie, the one with the fairies on it..." Emily chattered happily, until Marie interrupted her.

"That's great sweetheart, sounds like you had lots of fun, listen sweetie, mommy has to go okay, but you have sweet dreams baby and mommy will see you on Saturday, okay?" Marie said, almost sounding rushed.

"Oh, okay mommy, will you give me hugs on Saturday?" Emily asked, her face falling quickly at her apparent dismissal.

"Of course sweetie, as many hugs as you want, now mommy has to go, love you sweetheart, night-night, and sweet dreams," Marie answered.

"Night-night mommy," Emily said with a smile, though the prompt ‘click’ of the line made Logan wonder if Marie had even heard the end of her sentence.

"Alright squirt, time for bed now," Logan interrupted, seeing the tears pooling in Emily's eyes again and hoping to head them off. "Which bedtime story do you want?" he asked, as he headed for the small bookcase on the opposite wall. Picking up Emily's selection he settled down on the floor beside the bed, Emily's head coming to rest on his shoulder as he read. He scented her tears briefly before her breathing and heart rate evened out and she fell asleep.

Closing Emily's bedroom door behind him, he wandered down the hallway to his and Marie's room... his room. Just the scent in the room was enough to push him away, and he eventually fell asleep on the living room couch, a half empty bottle of whiskey on the coffee table beside him.

"Hey Jubes," Logan said, when the phone was answered in an irritatingly chipper manner.

"Hey Wolvie! What's life like in the 'burbs huh? It's so boring here without you and Rogue, I can't do anything to Scott because he always knows it's me, I need you back so I have a scapegoat," Jubilee chattered away happily. It took her a minute to realise he wasn't responding, or laughing, or making fun of Scott right along with her. "Uh... Logan, is everything alright?" she asked, in a more subdued manner.

"No, no Jubes, it's not alright... I need my name taken off the X-Men roster, " he eventually stated with a tired sigh.

"What's happened Logan?" Jubilee asked worriedly.

"... Marie left me," he replied, clearing his throat to push aside that damn lump that was back again. "Said she regretted marrying me, she got herself an apartment in the city, and just walked out," he told her, swallowing another swig of whiskey. Jubilee's only response was dead silence. "She left Emily... can you believe it... didn't even wait around until school was finished so she could say goodbye to her," Logan added, letting out a growl of anger at Marie, for abandoning their daughter, even if it was with him.

"Oh my god... why? Did you have a fight? Was she just reacting to something?" Jubilee asked, still in disbelief.

"I have no idea Jubes, completely blindsided me, she complained about having a headache so I took Emmy to school, by the time I got back she was packed, and she just left... so I need my name off the roster, with Emmy fulltime now I can't be going on missions," Logan reiterated the reason for his call.

"Of course, I understand, I'll let Scott and the Professor know... how's Emily holding up?" Jubes asked softly.

"She seemed to accept it for now, she cried a bit when Marie wasn't there to kiss her goodnight but I called and Marie talked to her on the phone for a bit, she was a little clingy when I dropped her off at kindergarten this morning but... so far so good I guess," Logan replied.

"And how about you?" Jubilee queried, trying to keep her tone light.

Logan huffed a chuckle. "Had to swing by the liquor store on my way home this morning, stopped at three before I found one that was open... I just... was it something I did? I mean, I knew she was too good for the likes of me, I didn't deserve anyone like her but... I thought she was happy... I'd have done anything to keep her happy..." he faded off before he took another swig from the bottle, not that it did any damn good, he couldn't even get to 'numb' thanks to the goddamn healing factor.

"I don't know, I wish I could help, if it's any consolation I thought she was happy too, she gushed about how perfect you are often enough," Jubilee replied.

"Yeah, well... I better let you go, I got... something, I'll find something to do," Logan grunted half-heartedly.

"Bye Logan," Jubilee murmured, waiting until he had hung up before setting her phone down and turning to Scott and Jean, who were regarding her curiously.

--

Life settled into a new semblance of normalcy. Marie made no noise about returning, she came over on Saturday's, sometimes Sunday too. Emily seemed to enjoy her visits, though it wasn't unusual for her to cry when it came time to say goodbye. Logan still couldn't get his head around just what exactly had happened to cause all of this, he wasn't entirely sure Marie knew her own reasons, even after Jubilee had found out and taken it on herself to try and 'talk sense' into Marie.

Then one Saturday, about four months later, Marie didn't turn up.

He finally managed to get hold of her at midday, pissed at himself when the first emotion he felt was relief at knowing she was alive and apparently safe, rather than anger at her for standing Emily up.

"Look, I'm sorry, I've got a new job, shift was scheduled last minute, and I'm covering shifts over a maternity leave so Saturday's aren't going to work for me anymore, tell Emmy I'm sorry, as soon as I can get a day scheduled off I'll let you know and we can make up anything I miss, I really am sorry but I have to go," was Marie's excuse.

"Alright, I'll let her know, can she call you some time at least?" Logan asked, watching as Emily's face fell as she heard his side of the conversation.

"I'll call her later tonight," Marie promised.

"Okay, her bedtime is seven thirty--" Logan reminded her.

"I know Logan," Marie replied exasperatedly.

"Sorry, I just... and if you need money Marie you don't need to miss out on seeing Em, I can..."

"I don't want your money Logan and I have to go, goodbye." The line clicked before he had a chance to respond further.

"Mommy's not coming?" Emily asked sadly.

"Sorry baby girl, mommy had to work today, she's filling in for someone else... I tell you what, we don't have anything else planned today, why don't we go... to the aquarium, how about that?" Logan suggested with a grin, hoping to distract the little girl.

"Okay daddy," Emily replied with a smile, even though her reaction was subdued.

--

"Working my ass!" Jubilee fumed, she was pacing the mansions kitchen irately, as she and Logan spoke.

This Saturday he had brought Emily to the mansion to visit some of her friends given Marie was still, after almost a month, no-showing to visits.

"Jubes, I can only tell you what she told me," Logan responded, trying to keep the hurt out of his tone, even as he sighed resignedly. He didn't doubt Marie was lying, it was just what exactly she was lying about that he hadn't been able to figure out.

"I'm telling you Logan we saw her out partying in that club in town, unless her job is waitressing or stripping, she wasn't working, and she was drunk off her goddamn face so I highly doubt she was working!" Jubilee informed him, falling quiet when she saw him cringe in response before he could turn away.

A moment later a soft sniffle preceded Emily's entrance into the room.

"What happened squirt?" Logan asked, bobbing down in front of her and brushing away her tears, before he gently picked the gravel out of her skinned palms when she wordlessly held her hands out to him. Jubilee handed him some antiseptic wipes from the kitchen's first aid kit so he could clean Emily's hands, before he wrapped them in a clean bandage and offered her a lollipop, for being such a brave girl.

Emily grunted a negative reply - turning down a lollipop...? If Logan had learned anything about kids since becoming a father it was enough to know that wasn't a good sign - as she hugged him, tears leaking down her cheeks again. "I want to go home," she whispered.

"What about your friends, don't you want to go play some more?" Logan asked encouragingly.

"No," Emily replied, grumpily, "I want to go home," she reiterated.

"Alright then squirt, we'll go say goodbye to everyone?" Logan replied, giving the little girl a squeeze as she promptly said goodbye to Jubilee; the only other person in the room.

Later that night, when Logan finally gave up trying to watch hockey, he decided to check on Emily one last time. She had been withdrawn and quiet all afternoon, since they returned from the mansion, the only request she had made was to call Marie at bedtime. Unfortunately, this time, not for the first time over the last couple of months, the call went unanswered before Emmy had wandered off to bed looking dejected.

"You're supposed to be sleeping sweetheart," Logan murmured, kneeling down beside her bed, resting a hand on her shoulder as Emily sniffled softly.

"Why doesn't mommy love me?" Emily whispered to the wall.

"Hey now, who said that? Your mommy loves you kiddo, more than anything, don't you ever think otherwise," Logan replied, gently but firmly, as he rolled her over to face him.

"Then why did she go away? Why won't she come to see me? Was I naughty?" Emily asked, sobbing as she looked up at him pleadingly, begging for an answer.

"No sweetheart, you weren't naughty... I don't... your mommy was... she just needed some time to think, she didn't go away because of you baby, she went away because of her, she does love you, she loves you so much, from the very minute she knew you were going to be born she loved you, when you were still in her tummy she used to read stories to you, and when you were a tiny little baby she would sing to you, and she would sit up at night just to watch you sleep..." Logan told her softly, a tender smile slipping free as he remembered the happiest time of their lives.

"Sammy's mommy probably did that too but it didn't stop her from kicking Sammy out of her house when she made the glass break," Emily replied angrily.

"Samantha's situation is a lot different to yours baby, Sammy's parents were assholes who didn't love her genetics, your mommy loves you, your mommy knew all about your genetics before you were even born and loved you no matter what... I'm sorry you're feeling all mixed up baby, it'll get better though... Cassie's mommy and daddy live in different houses you know, they both still love Cassie, and she doesn't see her daddy sometimes for long times, you know that, it's the same with your mommy at the moment," Logan offered.

"Does mommy go to the desert to fight the bad guys like Cassie's daddy?" Emily asked curiously.

"Mommy's bad guys aren't in the desert, mom- mommy's bad guys are inside her head, and right now she needs to go away and fight them," Logan tried, he didn't like suggesting Marie was nuts but... he was kind of out of other possible explanations for her behaviour.

"Like from her mutation?" Emily asked, scrunching her nose up in thought, "But daddy, aren't you in mommy's head... you're not a bad guy!"

"I'm one of the people that was in mommy's head, I hope she doesn't think I'm a bad guy," Logan replied, with a grimace.

"Maybe you're helping mommy fight the bad guys?" Emily suggested, for the first time all afternoon a smile lighting her face.

"I hope so sweetheart," Logan answered, kissing her forehead tenderly, "Now you go to sleep, squirt."

"Daddy, can I have a sleepover in your bed tonight?" Emily asked softly, her big brown eyes melting as they begged him.

"How about we have a sleepover in your bed," Logan suggested, grinning when Emily immediately scooted over so he could lie down beside her before she threw her little arms around him as far as she could reach.

"Night-night, daddy," Emily murmured, falling asleep quickly. She was smiling happily lost in dreams when he slipped out of her bed unnoticed an hour later, and headed for his own bed.

"Hey Jubes, what were those places you said you saw Marie?" Logan asked resignedly. He had finally given up on trying to reach Marie by phone, he didn't know where she lived; she had never given him the address of her apartment, and he had never pushed for it because she hadn't ever suggested taking Emily there. He was regretting that decision right now.

Jubilee rattled off a list of places she, or others, had seen Marie over the last few months. "Why are you asking, I thought you didn't want to know?" she asked curiously.

"I don't want to know but she won't answer my calls, and Emily's birthday is in a week, she wants Marie at her party and I promised to do my best to get her there, that means I need to find her," Logan said with a tired sigh.

"Well, do you want me to track her down for you so you don't--" Jubilee offered.

"No, this is something I have to do, maybe I should have done it already... Would you come over and babysit Em for me though?" Logan asked.

"Of course, I'll be there at seven!" Jubilee replied with a grin, she loved getting to spend time with her honorary niece.

--

With a frustrated growl Logan walked into yet another overly loud, overly crowded club. The music - if you could call it that - was almost unbearable, those who weren't drunk were high, and behaviour ranged from near catatonic to making out anywhere and everywhere.

"The fuck do people find enjoyable about this, hell, what's the point of getting laid if you don't even remember it the next day... fuck, I sound like Scott," he groused to himself, chuckling as he surveyed the crowd. This place was number four on the list he had from Jubilee, there were only three more places to check. He did two circuits of the room before he saw a flash of blacklight on a balcony.

"Finally!" he muttered, heading as quickly as he could for the stairs to the more private area upstairs, where he had caught sight of Marie's streaks.

Stepping into the booth, crowded with six other people, he was about to apologize and leave again when he realised that the girl he had seen, was actually Marie. A gaunt, washed out, heavily pregnant, Marie.

"Logan, what the fuck!?" she exclaimed, leaping to her feet. "Where the hell is Emily?" she demanded.

"Emily? Oh, now you give a fuck about Emily... We need to talk... about Emily... alone," he growled, glaring at the other occupants of the booth when they didn't take his initial hints and scram.

Marie looked momentarily panicked, and instead of waiting for her spaced-out companions to stumble out, she climbed over the table to get herself out. She was surprised when Logan reached for her, and carefully lifted her down, before she grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the booth, toward a fire escape.

"What's wrong with Emily?" she demanded, as soon as they were alone. Well, as alone as you could get with two drugged up twenty-something year olds fucking on the stairs.

"Well, where do I start, aside from the fact she cries herself to sleep most nights and is convinced her mother doesn't love her, no matter how many times I tell her otherwise, I guess she's doing alright," Logan snapped irritably, turning away to take a deep breath and calm himself down some before he did something they both regretted.

"I'm sorry," Marie murmured.

"Sorry? I'll make sure I tell Emily that, again, next time she asks why you still won't come to see her. Three months Marie, it's been three months since you've seen your daughter... I assume this is why you didn't want to come, what, did you think I would be pissed?" Logan asked, gesturing to her swollen abdomen. "Well, yeah, I am, but that's your life for you to fuck up so whatever... but this is Emily's life, stop being so goddamn selfish, if you want to spend your nights out getting drunk and high go for it, but the one's you're ultimately hurting are Emily, who isn't asking for much, just her mommy to come see her one goddamn day a week, and that baby, what fucking damage are you doing to that kid? Do you even care...?"

When Marie didn't make any attempt to respond - she wouldn't even look at him - he shook his head sadly, running a hand through his hair just to give himself something to do. "... I waited, I waited so long for you, I waited for you to grow up, I thought you were better than this, what the fuck happened to you Marie? When it was just me whose heart you were crushing I could live with it if it was making you happy... every night this week I've had to hold our daughter while she cries and asks why her mommy doesn't love her anymore, every night I tell her that her mommy does love her... I'm not lying to her any more, because you don't love her, do you? You don't give a shit that what you're doing is tearing her heart to pieces, you don't care that what you're doing is hurting the baby growing inside you... I want to not care about you any more, I do, go do what you fucking want... Emily's birthday party is on Saturday the twenty seventh, she wants you there, if you turn up make sure you're goddamn sober and off the drugs, I don't give a fuck if it's her birthday you turn up high or drunk I'll throw you out."

Without another word he turned and stalked away before he did something entirely inappropriate, like throw her over his shoulder and drag her home, or even worse, broke down and begged her to come back to him.

--

Marie stood in silence for several minutes, Logan's words reverberating through her mind. She felt the carefully constructed walls she had built in her mind begin to crack, the roar of a motorcycle in the street below finally snapping her out of her thoughts.

She needed to leave.

Rushing back to the booth she had been in with her 'friends', half of whom she didn’t even know their names, she grabbed her coat and bag, disappearing as quickly as she appeared, ignoring the shouts behind her from people wanting to know where she was going. She hailed a taxi and directed it to her apartment, holding back tears the whole way, desperately clinging to the mindless numbness she had been living in for the last few months.

When she finally stumbled into her apartment, tears streaming down her cheeks, she felt the dam break, and sheer devastation collapse over her. All the love and longing she had been suppressing, since she woke up from the haze that had been her stress addled brain, and realised what she had done on walking out on Logan, crushed her.

She hadn't wanted to leave him, she remembered that period through a cloud, a fuzzy haze. She hadn't been in control, truthfully, she didn't know who, or what, had been in control of her. She had hoped their relationship could be salvaged but when she had gone home, to visit Emily, Logan had let her in and then disappeared. After a while he didn't even come to let her in any more, sending Emmy to get the door, or she simply let herself in with her old key, he never changed the locks. With no way to talk to him the pain had begun.

When she found out she was pregnant, she had at first been terrified that in her haze she had betrayed Logan, that she had slept with another man. So far though she hadn't uncovered any memories to say that was the case, and on finding out her dates she knew for certain this baby was Logan's.

That revelation had started her on another dark spiral, one that was so painful she couldn't hide behind the walls, that's when she had started drinking. She knew she shouldn't but she couldn't bear the pain, she had progressed into street drugs not long after, seeking a high that would let her simultaneously feel something, and nothing. When she had stopped going to visit Emily, terrified Logan would find out she was pregnant and throw her out, she had spent that weekend in a bottle. She came so close to ending it then, all that saved her in the end was the fact she couldn't see straight enough to find her wrist with the razor blade... and Emmy's soft voice that night, telling her about her visit to the aquarium, and how much she missed her, and wished mommy could come with them next time. She had whispered something about that sounding nice, then cried herself to sleep on the bathroom floor.

Now though, she struggled back to her feet, stumbling blindly to the bathroom she ripped open the medicine cupboard, and fished around for the bottle of pills that would help her forget. Twisting the cap off she tipped two pills into her hand, pausing momentarily as a brief, almost forgotten feeling emerged from the quagmire that was her mind.

Love.

Specifically, Logan's love. For her.

'But he doesn't love me anymore,' she thought, swallowing against the bitterness that rose in the back of her throat.

~I want to not care about you any more...~ the memory of Logan's words filtered back to her, the look on his face telling her he still did care.

~When it was just me whose heart you were crushing I could live with it if it was making you happy...~ he had said... but she wasn't happy...

Glancing up at the mirror in front of her, Marie took in her raccoon eyes, mascara stained cheeks, the pallor of her skin, her sunken eyes that looked dead even to her. She felt her baby move gently inside of her, and caught sight of a photograph reflected in the mirror, of Emily, and Logan, and her... She wanted to look like that again, she wanted to look happy, she wanted to *be* happy.

With a decisive flurry of movement, she swept all the pills, everything, out of the medicine cabinet, pouring the whole lot down the toilet. Following that, she forced herself to vomit up the drugs and alcohol she had already consumed that night, whatever was left in her stomach at least. Feeling physically weaker but still mentally resolved, she stepped into the shower and scrubbed herself clean, crying the whole time. Once she was feeling a little more refreshed, she dried herself off, and went in search of water, chugging a bottle she took a second with her and headed to bed.

She had one week to be ready for Emily's birthday.

That week was a hard week but she forced herself through it, she went shopping for fresh fruit and vegetables, drank lots of water, and carried the photo of her family around constantly with the never-ending reminder to herself, 'I'm doing this for us'. Two days before Emily's birthday party, on the day of her actual birthday, Logan texted Marie, asking if she was coming to the party, and if she was, did she want him to tell Emily about her being pregnant or would she do that herself. A text seemed too impersonal a response so she sucked up her nerves and phoned him.

"You want to talk to Em?" Logan asked immediately on answering the phone. He didn't even bother with a hello, and sounded almost angry, maybe he was assuming she rang to let the little girl down and say she wasn't coming. She couldn't blame him; it wouldn't be the first time she had let Emily down lately.

"Um, yeah, I- I would like that," Marie replied, she had rung to speak to him but the idea of hearing her daughter's voice again, for the first time in months, was even more appealing right at the moment.

She heard Logan call for the girl, followed by the heavy patter of socked feet, before a breathlessly excited voice broke the line.

"Mommy!?" Emily almost squealed.

"Yeah, it's me sweetheart, happy birthday my big girl, how have you been?" she asked, smiling wistfully as she listened for her answer.

"I'm good, daddy made me pancakes for breakfast, with blueberries, just like you used to make, and we're going to the zoo today, to see Valentine, and I want to see the lynx too, and..." Emily paused, as if she wanted to say more but wasn't sure if she should.

"And what baby girl?" Marie prompted.

"I- I wish I could see you too, mommy," Emily whispered, catching Marie off guard; she had to clear her throat before she could reply.

"I'll see what I can do sweetheart, if I can't make it today, I'll see you at your party at least," Marie replied, holding back the tears that were again threatening to fall.

"Really!?" Emily responded, then squealed happily, "Daddy, daddy, mommy said she's coming to my party!"

Marie heard Logan murmur a response to her, before Emily turned her attention back to her call and began to chatter away animatedly. After about half an hour Logan interrupted, reminding Emily that if they were going out she needed to go and get ready, leading to Emily reluctantly bidding goodbye.

"You go get ready sweetheart, and can you give the phone back to daddy and tell him I need to talk to him, pretty please?" Marie asked, hearing Emily's slight pause before she agreed.

"Mommy wants to talk to you, daddy," she heard Emily say, sounding confused.

"Thanks squirt, off you go now," Logan commented, before she heard the phone get picked up from where Emily had, by the sound of it, set it down on the kitchen counter. Marie held her breath, as she prayed Logan wouldn't just hang up on her, letting out a silent, relieved sigh when she heard his voice filter over the line. "You better not let her down Marie, you've promised to be there, you had better be," he spoke, gruffly but still with the hint of gentleness he had always used when speaking to her.

"I'll be there Logan, um, also, she asked if- if she could see me, today, would it be alright with you if I met you guys at the zoo for a while?" Marie asked hesitantly.

"... Sure," Logan responded, sounding just as hesitant.

"Thank you, and um, I've kinda been out of the loop for a bit, what- is there anything she's been asking about for her birthday? I'm a little stumped on what to get her," Marie added.

"You don't have to worry about a present, I told her the one I gave her this morning was from both of us..." Logan began, before Marie interrupted.

"I'm grateful for that, I really am but... I owe it to her, I owe her something to make up for what a shitty mother I've been the last few months," Marie insisted firmly.

"Honestly, just you showing up will mean the world to her," Logan replied softly, "But if you insist, she's had her eye on one of those American Girl Dolls... give me a sec, the catalogue's around here somewhere... the one she wants is... Blaire - still don't get why the hell they name dolls - it's got curly red hair and green eyes. I told her maybe for Christmas but if you want to do it for her birthday I don't have a problem with that, and if you need some money I'm happy to pitch in," Logan offered.

"No, no, money's fine, just don't know if I could get it here in time, if I get it overnighted through Amazon... thanks Logan, I appreciate it, I'll see you later today," Marie replied, smiling despite herself, that conversation hadn't been too hard.

"Wait," Logan called, as she began to hang up, "The baby, did you want me to tell her or..."

"No, you've handled the big stuff alone for long enough, I'll tell her, when I see her today," Marie promised.

"Alright, where should we meet you?" Logan asked, apparently hopefully optimistic that she would indeed turn up.

"I'll meet you at the wolverine exhibit," Marie answered.

"Okay, she usually likes to go there first..." Logan reminded her.

"I know, I remember, I'll see you there," Marie signed off, smiling happily as she finally hung the phone up.

--

"Okay, where should we go first, how about the otters?" Logan asked, continuing at Emmy's emphatic 'no'. "The eagles?... farmyard? ... Ooh, I know, the butterflies!" Logan suggested, setting off toward the bug area, Emily riding on his shoulders.

"No daddy!" she giggled, grabbing hold of his hair and forcefully turning his head toward where she knew the wolverine lived. "Valentine!" the bossy little now five-year-old declared.

"Ow, you know you don't have to yank so hard," Logan chuckled up at her, as he turned toward the exhibit.

"Serves you right for teasing," Emily replied matter of factly.

"Yes boss," Logan grumbled good naturedly.

They were still several yards from the wolverine pen when Emily suddenly tensed. "Mommy!" she squealed, accidentally yanking hair again, and kicking Logan in the ribs as she tried to jump up and down in her excitement. Hurriedly Logan lifted her off his shoulders and set her on her feet, she was running before her feet touched the ground, throwing her arms around Marie, who knelt down to hug her in return.

"Mommy you came, you really came!" Emily declared happily, kissing her happily.

"I did sweetheart, happy birthday my little angel, my super special big girl, I love you so much," Marie was replying, hugging and kissing the little girl back with as much enthusiasm.

"Mommy, where have you been?" Emily asked suddenly.

"Well, mommy hasn't been very well, I had to go away for a while, and..." Marie really didn't know how to explain, not in a way a five-year-old would understand at least.

"Daddy said you had to fight the people in your head, the ones who touch your skin," Emily whispered sadly.

"Um, yeah, in a way," Marie answered.

"Are you finished fighting them now? Can you come home now?" Emily asked, her big brown eyes pulling the world's most epic puppy-dog look.

Marie caught sight of Logan, standing a way off, letting them have their reunion. Though she knew he could hear every word that was being spoken, the expression on his face was unreadable. "Not yet sweetheart, but I promise I'll be around more now, I'll see you much more often, would you like that?" she asked.

"Every week?" Emily queried hopefully.

"As much as I can... I have a surprise for you too," Marie told her, watching Emily's eyes light up before she moved her hands to her stomach and stretched her loose flowy top tight over her stomach. "Do you know what's in here?" Marie asked, watching as her daughter screwed up her nose in a frown.

"Too much chocolate?" Emily asked, looking even more confused when Marie giggled, and Logan threw in a chuckle.

"Well, I won't lie, there's some chocolate in there too, but there's a baby in my tummy, here feel this-" Marie placed the girls hand against her belly- "That's him moving, you're going to be a big sister and have your very own little brother," Marie told her softly, ignoring the tiny rumble of a growl from Logan, who turned and walked further away.

"... How did the baby get in there?" Emily queried, still confused.

"Well, every mommy has tiny little eggs inside her-" Marie began.

"Like hummingbird eggs?" Emily asked.

"Even smaller," Marie replied. "And every now and then, one of those eggs grows, and a baby hatches out of it."

"Inside your tummy? Where does the shell go?" Emily queried again, visibly trying to wrap her mind around the concept.

Marie spent a few more minutes explaining to Emily, trying to hide her disappointment when Em turned to Logan to ask him if what she said was true; though really, what reason had she given Em to trust her, or her word. Thankfully Logan backed her up.

"So, when does the baby come out?" Emily asked a short time later, after they had moved away from the wolverine pen once Emily had spotted the elusive animal.

"Well babies grow inside mommies for nine months, your little brother's almost done cooking though, he should be coming out to say hi in about a month and a half," Marie replied, wondering if Logan would work out the dates. Would he realise it was his child, or would he think she had been cheating on him... Either way, he was still giving no reaction to her words, though Emily didn't seem to notice he hadn't spoken two words to Marie since he laid eyes on her.

The afternoon went well, they stopped for a snack by the duck pond, and then Marie announced she needed to go. The baby growing inside her made her tired, she explained to Emily, before wishing her happy birthday again, and reassuring her she would definitely see her again at her party on the weekend. She wanted nothing more than to throw her arms around Logan and hang onto him for dear life, while spewing endless apologies for her shitty behaviour but... the way he was looking at her told her, that might not be the best idea.

"Goodbye Logan," she murmured instead, smiling at him softly, though it couldn't mask the sadness in her eyes.

"Bye Marie," he replied, placing a hand on Emily's shoulder, where she stood beside him waving to Marie, who waved back before disappearing into the crowd.

"Mommy's here! Mommy's here!" Emily announced loudly, running down the stairs, ignoring Logan when he reminded her she wasn't supposed to run in the house.

The party wasn't due to start for another hour, he and Jubilee, with direction from Emily, were finishing the last of the decorating, he hadn't been expecting Marie yet. Clearly Jubilee wasn't either judging by the look she threw at him.

"... and the balloons are pink and purple, and the streamers are green, Aunty Jubi wanted yellow but I like the green, so daddy said I could have the green, and then Aunty Jubi stuck her tongue out at him..." Emily was chattering away a mile a minute, as she literally dragged Marie into the room by the death grip she had on her hand, as if she was afraid if she let go Marie would disappear.

"Hey Logan, hi Jubes," Marie said tentatively, as she stepped into the room.

Logan called out a generic greeting, from where he stood on a ladder hanging streamers, Jubilee however came right up to her and hugged her, obviously not missing the prominent baby bump under her shirt.

"Hey chica, I've missed you, I'm sorry I yelled at you last time I saw you," Jubilee said, leading Marie into the kitchen to help her with food prep, not specifically to keep her away from Logan. He had obviously been struggling with the idea of Marie being there, not that he would say anything though. He wanted Emily's day to be special for her but Jubilee knew he wanted to simultaneously chew Marie out for leaving him, and beg her to stay - so now wasn't the best time for them to be alone together.

"It's okay, you we're right, probably should have yelled some more but... can we not talk about that now, this is Emmy's day, I want it to be perfect for her," Marie replied with a sad smile, attracting another Jubilee hug just as Emily ran into the room again.

Handing Emily the present she had brought with her, Marie instructed her to go put it on the table where the other presents would go, watching Emily's eyes light up with delight when saw the huge box before she ran off with a giggle.

Marie and Jubilee spent the next wee while putting together platefuls of party food. They chatted happily, mostly about the mansion, Jubilee's poor long-suffering students, and recent X-Men missions as they worked, gently easing back into the comfortable friendship they had always shared.

"Logan's not with the X-Men anymore?" Marie asked in surprise, when Jubilee let slip that fact.

"Oh, no, he's not, didn't you know? He quit when you- ... he had Emily, full time, he didn't want to leave her to go on missions, so, he quit," Jubilee replied.

"Oh..." Marie murmured, tearing up as she thought of yet another sacrifice Logan had made for their family, for Emily, and even in a roundabout way, for her. Yet another detail she had completely overlooked. She had never even considered what might have happened to Emily if Logan had gone a mission or, god forbid, hadn't come back from one.

--

Logan sat down on the sofa, watching in amusement as Emily inspected his streamer and balloon hanging work. He was surprised when a cold bottle of beer slid over his shoulder. Following the arm holding it out, he found himself looking up at Marie.

"Go on, the kids and parents will be here soon, you deserve a break, you've done good work daddy bear," Marie teased, it had been a long time since she had felt as comfortable as she did right now, and she missed the closeness they had once shared.

"Thanks," Logan gruffly replied, only sounding just the slightest apprehensive, he was guarded and wary as she walked around the couch and took a seat next to him.

"I'm serious Logan," Marie said resolutely a moment later, "You've done a great job, not just with this party but with everything in general, I’m sorry about... I'm sorry, for leaving you to do this all alone, you were right, I was selfish, I don't know what I was thinking, I don't know how I walked away, I regret that but I'm going to try to do better, I'm in a lot better place now, I'm sorry it took me so long to get here, and you even did that too, I was self-destructing and you pulled me back from the edge, you saved me from myself, I'm still not a hundred percent but I'm determined now, I need to fix this, and I will, one step at a time, I hope one day you can forgive me," she murmured softly, giving him a smile before she stood and walked back out of the room, leaving him to digest her words.

--

Emily's birthday party passed in a blur of activity, fast moving, sugar-hyped children, bright wrapping paper, and lots of noise as young children were apt to make on such fun occasions. Marie wasn't surprised to see many of their family friends from Xavier's in attendance, though thankfully all avoided awkward questions about what had happened, and why she hadn't been in contact with anyone the last few months. Thankfully no one drew attention to her pregnant belly, aside from a few of Emily's school friends’ moms who offered generic congratulations.

Once the majority of the sugar-hyped children were seen off at the end of the party, the gathering became a more intimate, almost family-like affair, once it was only her, Logan, and those from Xavier's, who really were the closest thing to extended family either of them had. That of course was when the awkward questions started, after Emily, Oliver, and Nicholas - Scott and Jean's two boys - had been sent off to play upstairs in Emily's room.

"How have you been?" Jean asked gently, noting Logan's attention on the conversation, even as he and Ororo were working together to prepare dinner for the group.

"Honestly... not good," Marie replied, with an attempt at a smile, "But I'll get there, I just... I know it's not ideal, and feel free to say no but, I need to get away from where I am now, and I need to be near a mutant-friendly doctor, for the baby, would there be a place at the mansion for me, even if just until the baby is born?" Marie asked, glancing between Scott and Jean, they had the most sway over the running of the mansion after all; Jubilee was sitting beside her with a broad grin, nodding madly at the pair.

"Of course, though I'm sure Logan and Emily would love for you to be home..." Jean began, trailing off when she caught Marie's grimace as she glanced briefly toward Logan, who had tensed as soon as the words left her mouth.

"We're not ready for that," Marie replied diplomatically, refusing to give in to the urge to cry even as she felt the hot tears pricking at her eyes.

"That's alright, how far along is baby, do you know when he's due?" Jean asked, quickly changing the subject, and noting Logan immediately cease listening to the conversation. She wasn't the only one who noticed, if the pained look on Marie's face was anything to go by.

"I'm thirty-four weeks, he's due middle of July," Marie replied.

"Don't take this the wrong way but... you're kind of on the small side for that far along," Jean commented, "Have you been seeing a doctor?"

Marie sighed, and tried not to look guilty as she replied, "Not since the twenty-week scan, that's the only time I've seen a doctor."

Jean in response tried not to look disappointed, simply responding decisively, "No problem, we can get you a full check-up as soon as we get you settled at home."

Marie managed to deflect further questioning from herself, and over dinner the group conversed amicably, even Logan joined in the conversation. Several hours later, after Emily had fallen asleep in Marie's lap, hugging her new dolly, the guests slowly began to depart.

"Hey girl, you need a ride back to your place?" Jubilee offered, noting the time, and the fact Marie looked exhausted.

"No, I'll be fine," Marie replied, surprised when she was interrupted by Logan.

"You're exhausted Marie, you're either taking a ride home with Jubilee, and I'll drop your car back to you after I drop Emily to kindergarten tomorrow, or you're staying here for the night," he stated matter of factly.

Marie considered his comment for a moment, knowing there was no point in arguing with him, at the same time she really would prefer to stay but she wasn't sure if he meant it.

"It's up to you Marie, spare bedroom is set up, I'm sure Emily would love to see you for breakfast," Logan clarified, seeing her hesitation, and Jubilee's smothered grin.

"I- I'll stay," she eventually decided. Logan just nodded, before offering to carry Emily to her room for her if she wanted to tuck her into bed, an act Marie gratefully accepted.

"Thank you, Logan," she whispered, tears in her eyes as she exited Emily's bedroom, Logan had been seeing Jubilee off while she put Emily to bed. She wanted to reach up and kiss him, like she used to, before they both made their way to their respective rooms for the night, but she wasn't sure he would be all that receptive to the idea.

All she got in response was a gruff, "I'll see you in the morning," before he walked into their room- his room, and shut the door behind himself.

Marie wandered down the hallway the next morning, knowing from the wide-open doors and tangled sheets of the other bedrooms that both Logan and Emily were already up. The kitchen was the mostly likely place to find them, and she was just about to enter when she heard their voices.

"Daddy, why don't you love mommy anymore?" Emily asked sadly.

"Your mother ask you to ask that?" Logan mumbled in response.

"No, I see it, you don't hug her no more, or kiss her, or call her pretty names, and mommy sleeped in a different room, she cried last night, she didn't think I saw, sometimes you cry too," Emily said, her words even more heart-breaking to Marie's ears.

For several moments there was no response, then Emily spoke again. "Is it because mommy went away? Because mommy said she won't do that again, not like last time, she promised even."

"And did that make you happy?" Logan asked, a smile clear in his tone, bringing to Marie's mind a precious memory of him, smiling at her.

"Uh huh, it doesn't make you happy?" Emily queried curiously.

"... A long time ago, before you were born, your mommy promised to love me, and never to leave me... your mommy broke that promise," Logan replied, after a pause and a heavy sigh.

"You don't trust her now?" Emily responded, as astute as always.

"I can't trust her now," Logan murmured.

"Why?" Emily demanded.

"Because if I start to trust her again, then I remember that I love her, and I... I can't lose her again squirt, so it's just easier not to. I'm sorry if that makes you sad but I won't ever stop your mommy from seeing you, okay? No matter what is going on between me and your mommy, she is still your mommy and I will never stop her from being in your life and loving you, or your brother," Logan said, stressing his point to the girl.

"Even though it makes you sad daddy?" Emily asked sadly.

"That doesn't matter squirt, I'm doing this for you, not for me," Logan replied.

After a few moments it was obvious he had returned to preparing breakfast, Marie silently slipped away from the kitchen door. She needed a few minutes to think, and didn't want Logan to suspect she had been eavesdropping.

--

They took Marie's car to drop Emily off at kindergarten, before driving to Marie's home. She had asked Logan to help her pack, so she could move back to the mansion, and he had agreed. He parked out the front of her modest apartment building, and trailed Marie upstairs to apartment one zero five. It was the first time he had seen where she was living, and while it was relatively clean looking, it was run down, on the seedier side of town, and some of the neighbours were more than a little dodgy.

"Home sweet home," Marie mocked, when she was finally done wrestling with the key, and gestured for him to follow her in. "You want a coffee?" she asked, as she made her way into the kitchen.

"Um, sure," he replied, taking the opportunity of Marie being distracted making coffee to have a look around. The apartment was stripped of anything personal, nothing to show Marie really even lived here, except one family photo on the hall table. The stained sofa was old, and uncomfortable, and still smelled like weed, among several other less than savoury scents, and it looked like a patch of carpet had been set on fire. "You know I wouldn't have let Emily come visit you here, right?" he eventually commented, as Marie handed him a hot mug.

"I wouldn't have wanted Emily coming here," Marie admitted softly.

They stood in silence, until they finished their drinks, before Logan spoke again. "Anything you want me to help pack?" he offered.

"No, that's okay, it won't be long until you've got something to ferry down," Marie replied, flashing him one of her fabulous smiles that he had missed so much.

Two hours later the apartment was empty, the car was packed, Marie had dropped her keys back to the building manager, and they were navigating their way through the city traffic back toward home. The ride was taken in silence, neither speaking a word until they were parked at the curb out front of the house.

"Logan... I want to start seeing Emmy regularly again, I know I let her down last time but I won't do it again, she needs me, I realise that now and... truth be told, I need her too, would it be alright if we started the Saturday visits again?" Marie asked.

"Of course, I'll never- unless you're drunk or high, I'll never stop you from seeing her, and if it's easier for you I can bring her to the mansion so you can have your visits there if you like?" Logan offered.

"Thank you, I'll let you know, it'll probably depend on what the doctor orders," Marie replied, resting a hand on her bump.

"Course," Logan muttered, before hurriedly exiting the car. "See you Saturday," he called, as he stalked back to the house, not looking back.

With a sigh, Marie put the vehicle back in gear and rolled away again, trying not to think about the possible future of their relationship when Logan could barely stand to look at her, let alone talk to her. She wanted so badly to beg his forgiveness, and tell him this baby was his but she had a firm suspicion he wouldn't believe her. She would ask Jean about DNA testing, so she could prove it to him when she told him, she just hoped he would accept the baby. Their son; the son she had secretly been hoping for the first time she got pregnant.

--

"Well hello Miss... Rogue," Jean commented, as she walked into the med bay, dressed in her familiar white coat and perusing the file in her hand, "What are we here for today?" she asked, in a familiar doctorly manner.

Marie giggled. "Dare I suggest you and Scott role play a fair bit?" she teased with a cocked brow, drawing a chuckle and, was that a blush, from the good doctor.

"Where were we," Jean replied, clearing her throat and trying to get herself back in 'professional' mode.

"Well Doc, I seem to have some sort of growth inside of me, I don't think it's a tumour it seems to shift and move, any ideas?" Marie asked innocently.

"Alright, in all seriousness, what prior medical care did you say you had had?" Jean queried.

"Just the one visit and scan at nineteen weeks four days," Marie replied.

"Did you find out late or were you just trying to save on medical bills?" Jean queried.

"Let’s go with found out late, haven't been since because I didn't want the doctors asking questions," Marie replied with an embarrassed flush. She didn't know how much Logan had told the others about what she had been up to while she had been MIA.

"Questions about?" Jean pressed. "If it's something that could affect the baby I need to know," she pointed out, when Marie made no move to answer.

"I was drinking, fairly heavily, and... drugs," Marie eventually responded in barely a whisper, tears dropping down her cheeks as she did.

"From when, and until when?" Jean asked, trying to keep her tone even and professional.

"I started drinking, probably three weeks after I left, I'd have been around seven or eight weeks then I suppose... drugs were never... well, maybe once or twice a week, I suppose that's kind of regular," Marie said with a shrug.

"What kind of drugs are we talking here?" Jean asked, taking notes as Marie listed everything she could remember taking. "And when did you stop?"

"A week ago," Marie replied.

"Everything? Cold turkey?" Jean asked in surprise.

"Yeah, it was easier than I thought it would be, maybe I wasn't taking enough, or maybe I just had good motivation," Marie replied, gently rubbing her belly. "I had good motivation the whole time though, it just took Logan kicking me in the ass to see it," she murmured.

"Speaking of... who is the father?" Jean asked softly.

"... Logan," Marie replied confidently, fresh tears in her eyes.

"Have you told him?" Jean queried, wincing at the pained huffed of a laugh from Marie.

"He wouldn't believe me if I did," she answered, an air of resignation in her tone.

"Why not?" Jean asked with a frown.

"He thinks I cheated on him, I know he does, without proof I know he won't believe me," Marie replied sadly.

"Have you cheated on him? Even while you've been apart," Jean asked gently.

"No... not that I know of, I just... I couldn't, at first I... I don't know, I left and was just sort of, enjoying being alone, then I started missing him, and then... I didn't want anyone else; I've never wanted anyone else," Marie began to sob.

"Why did you leave Rogue?" Jean queried, frowning in concern as she moved closer and offered a comforting embrace to her friend.

"I don't know," Marie responded, "I don't even know if it was me that did, I don't really remember what happened all that well to be honest."

"Were you taking drugs then?" Jean asked in confusion.

"No, aside from pain killers occasionally for the headaches," Marie replied.

"Alright, well, I think that's something you need to talk about with the Professor, see if you can figure out what happened, maybe one of the voices managed to take over?" Jean suggested, it had after all been an incredibly out of character episode. "For now though, let's check out this baby, and do you want me to do a DNA test for you to show Logan?" she asked.

"You can do that?" Marie asked, "And it's safe?" When Jean confirmed, Marie readily agreed.

Five days later, the first Saturday, Logan brought Emily to the mansion to see Marie. He was surprised when Marie almost immediately suggested Emily go play with her friends for a while.

"I know you came to see me baby but mommy and daddy need to talk real quick first, okay? I'll see you again real soon, sweetie," Marie commented, giving her a quick kiss, before the little girl disappeared with a smile. Emily seemed very happy with the idea her mommy and daddy were finally going to talk.

"Please Logan, it's important," Marie said, when she saw he was about to object.

As per usual since he had first laid eyes on her, he was powerless to resist her request, and with a grudging nod, he followed her to the Professor's office. He was surprised on entering to find everyone, all their pseudo-family, gathered.

"I thought *we* had to talk?" he asked gruffly.

"We do, but everyone needs to know this," Marie replied, taking a seat, gesturing for Logan to take the other even though she knew he wouldn't. "I'll just come straight out and say this, I know you won't believe me but... this is your baby," Marie stated bluntly, resting her hand on her belly.

"You're right, I don't believe you," Logan replied emotionlessly, after he gave her a brief once over.

Marie nodded sadly, before nodding to Jean who stood, a slip of paper in hand and handed it to Logan.

He took the paper and glanced over it, his eyes catching on the sentence that read, in bold black letters, 'Probability of paternal parentage of Donor A: 99.9%'. Glancing back at Jean for confirmation, he saw her nod.

"It's true Logan, you are the father, I oversaw the DNA test myself," she said softly.

In silence Logan finally took the prior offered seat, studying the paper some more as the information sunk in. Eventually his head came to rest in his hands as he finally began to accept the news, tears burning hotly in his eyes, though he refused to let them fall. "Is this why you left?" he asked, without looking up.

"No," Marie replied immediately, "No, I didn't even find out I was pregnant for a few weeks after."

"Why didn't you tell me before?" Logan demanded, finally looking up at her so she could see the pain in his eyes, hiding behind the swirling cover of anger.

"I knew you wouldn't believe me; I didn't know you could do DNA tests before a baby was born, I thought I'd have to wait until he was here... I knew you wouldn't believe me without proof," Marie admitted, catching the softening in his eyes as he accepted the truth of her response.

"I'm going to have a son?" Logan whispered softly a moment later, staring back down at the paper. "I don't know what to think right now," he honestly responded.

"I know," Marie replied, just the hint of a smile turning up her lips, "That's why I wanted to tell you now, Emily will be fine here, you... you go and do whatever you need to do to digest this information," she replied, offering him what she hoped was an encouraging smile. He didn't respond but to nod mutely, and Marie opted to take that as her cue to leave, leaving him with the rest of their family. He would likely ask more questions, Jean and the Professor had her leave to answer any and all questions he might have, and the others would help him adjust to the new reality.

--

Logan listened to Marie's footsteps fade away as his mind whirled with thoughts and questions. The deep-seated anger he had been suppressing, since he had first seen Marie's swollen abdomen, had promptly fizzled out as soon as he had seen the DNA results, the only problem now was that he now didn't know what to feel. He knew what he was thinking though.

"Has she told you she's using?" Logan asked, directing the question to Jean, who confirmed with a nod. "And the baby?"

"Physically he appears to be fine, there's no sign of obvious external deformity, or cleft palate malformation, she's been clean for two weeks now, and yes, I am doing random tests to be sure she's not sneaking anything, hopefully she's detoxing early enough so baby isn't born in withdrawal, as for neurological problems... we won't know until he's born," Jean advised.

"What- what is she planning on doing with the baby?" he asked softly.

"She wants to discuss that with you directly before making any decisions," Jean advised.

Logan went quiet for a moment, considering his next question, his attention was distracted momentarily when Jean handed him a photo of the baby, from the scan she had done the week before.

"Does anyone know yet why she left?" he eventually asked.

"I believe it may not have been entirely Rogue's decision to leave you," Charles responded, catching Logan's surprised reaction. "I have been counselling Rogue, and before you ask, yes, she has given me permission to share anything I feel is pertinent with you all, though I have explained to her the necessity for her to open up to people on her own also, just please keep in mind, she is in a very fragile state right now so if she does open up to you, be supportive, she is being honest about having made mistakes, compounding those mistakes would not be helpful," Charles warned.

"What do you mean not her decision?" Logan pressed.

"It seems Rogue's battle with control may have stirred up remnants of previous absorptions, she mentioned headaches, and feeling mentally 'fuzzy', doing things she didn't really remember during these times, when she left you was one of these occasions, there was a desire, in her mind, to 'run' but she couldn't determine where it came from... I have given this further thought and I am wondering if early hormonal changes, relating to Rogue's pregnancy, may have contributed to her instability," Charles advised.

"So, the voices in her head made her do drugs and drink herself into oblivion?" Logan asked, somewhat sceptically.

"No," Jean admitted, "That was a coping mechanism, the drugs started with prescribed benzos, for depression, when she found out she was pregnant, at first she thought in one of her 'fuzzy phases' she had slept with someone, that's when she started drinking, and progressed into street drugs, when she found out her dates, realised it was your baby... she was just feeling lost and didn't know how to get back. She thanks you for 'kicking her in the ass', she's trying to come back Logan, for you, for Emily, for this new baby--"

"Daniel," Logan interrupted, his lip quirking minutely, "She wanted to call a boy Daniel," he clarified. "Is there anything else I need to know?" he queried suddenly.

"Not right now," Charles replied, sensing the desire to escape that was growing in Logan.

"Can I leave Emily here for the day? I'll pick her up before bedtime," he assured them.

"Of course, if you need anything else, anything at all, let us know," Charles responded, even as Logan was already on his way out of the room.

"... Is he alright?" Jubilee asked softly, once Logan was gone.

"I think they'll both be fine, it may take time but they will be fine," Charles said. Logan and Rogue both loved each other too much to let this stand between them forever.

--

Logan wandered into the overly noisy cafeteria, this was one of the reasons he and Marie had originally left the mansion and bought their own place. How teenagers managed to make so much noise, while eating, he had never been able to figure out.

It didn't take long for him to spot Emily, sitting next to Marie, almost sitting on her knee as she ate her dinner. The seat next to the little girl was empty, so he moved to claim it.

"Hey daddy, where'd you go?" Emily asked, cheerily.

"Just out for a while squirt, you have fun today?" he replied, as he pulled food onto his plate.

"Uh huh, me and mommy went swimming, and for a walk in the forest, and we had a picnic for lunch, and then we played hide and seek, and I won, Nicky said I cheated cause I hid in a tree but it's not my fault he didn't look up," Emily chattered away happily, though the last comment was made with a slightly evil looking grin, and promptly drew a grumpy shout from across the table.

"That's my girl," Logan commented with a chuckle, even as Emily just smiled sweetly across the table at her friend.

By the time dinner was over Emily, Nicholas, and Oliver had again forgotten their squabble, and begged to be allowed to watch a movie before bed.

"Hey Marie, can we talk?" Logan asked quietly, as they stood in the doorway of the teachers’ lounge, watching the kids throw popcorn at each other as their movie got going. With a nod, she followed him outside, where they could get a bit more privacy.

"So... you okay?" Marie asked, as Logan helped her sit down on a bench in the rose garden.

"It was a shock, I didn't expect that but I'm goo- I've accepted it, I'm a little disappointed to have missed so much but nothing that can be done about that now, where do we go from here is the question," Logan replied, sitting down opposite her, for the first time in a long time actually stopping to look her in the eye.

"As much as I love my babies, I'm not in the right head space to be full time mommy to a new-born right now, everyone here has offered to help out with care but... I would prefer if he was with you and Emmy, if he can't have his mommy, I'd want him to have his daddy... if you think you can handle that?" Marie suggested, even as her eyes flooded with tears.

Logan avoided looking at her, even as he nodded his agreement. "That sounds like a plan, I can bring him to visit you every day too, while Emmy's at school would be the easiest... if you're having any more check-ups and stuff, I'd like to be there," he indirectly asked.

"Sure, I don't think Jean's planning any more check-ups though, and I'll make sure someone lets you know when he decides to make his grand entrance, I'd really like for you to be there," Marie replied.

"I'd like that too, I'll do my best to be there," Logan promised. "So, when is little Danny due?" he asked, flashing her a smile when she looked up at him in surprise.

"You remembered?" she commented, clearly referring to the name she had suggested last time she was pregnant, in case Emily had turned out to be a boy. "July fourteenth is his due date, Jean's hoping he goes a little over, he's a little on the small side... that's my fault unfortunately, I should have been taking better care of us, I'm sorry," she murmured, refusing to meet his eye.

With a sigh he replied, "What's done is done Marie, no point beating yourself up about it now, and I... I didn't really help I suppose, but you're doing the right thing now, that's what counts."

They chatted a bit more about the baby, until Logan figured the kids movie should be about finished and he excused himself to collect Emily.

"Logan..." Marie called out, almost shyly, waiting until he turned back to her before she barely whispered, "I wasn't with anyone else, I just wanted you to know, I- I just need you to know..."

With a nod to let her know he heard her, which she probably didn't even see as she wasn't looking at him, he turned again and continued on his way.

"Logan!" Jubilee's voice blared into his brain, as he absentmindedly lifted the phone to his ear at... three am. "Marie's in labour, and Jean says baby's in a hurry so you might want to light a fire under your ass to get yourself here! ... Logan, did you hear me?" she asked a moment lately.

"Yeah, yeah, I heard you," Logan mumbled sleepily, "The baby's... shit! The baby's coming! I'll be there soon!" He finished the rest of his sentence in a shout as he pulled on his jeans. Racing out of the room as he pulled his shirt on, he rushed into Emily's room and scooped her carefully out of bed. Grabbing both their jackets, and his keys on the way out the door, he was loading Emily into the car before she had even finished sleepily enquiring as to what was happening.

"Your brother's on his way," Logan explained, "You're going to have a sleepover with Ollie and Nick, I'll come get you when he's ready to meet you, okay?" Emily murmured her understanding before promptly slipping back into sleep.

When he pulled up out the front of the mansion, Scott was waiting, waving him inside and telling him to hurry. Leaving Scott to sort Emily out Logan dove into the waiting elevator to head to the sub level, following the sound of Marie's pained cries to the right room.

It wasn't long before the med bay fell silent, right before a piercing wail split the air, drawing a smile from both parents as Jean tidied up the baby ready for presentation. At Marie's insistence she handed the swaddled infant to Logan first.

Several minutes passed, as Jean silently worked with Marie before Logan softly, sadly, spoke. "Jean... something's... not right," he said, glancing up as all three women's attention immediately fell on him, before shifting to the baby. "I can hear it, something's not right with his heart," Logan clarified.

"An MRI will be the fastest way to see what's happening inside," Jean responded, after a moments pause for thought. "I'll set that up, Logan, you'll need to wait in the hall to not throw the imaging off, down by the elevator," she instructed, as she took baby back into her arms.

With a gruff nod Logan headed out, loathe to leave Daniel, and Marie, but the sooner Jean got started, the sooner he could come back. By the time he was called back to the room, Scott was there waiting with him, having been called down telepathically by Jean to try and keep Logan calm.

"What's the news?" Logan asked immediately, catching sight of Marie's tear stained face as he entered. Without a thought he moved to her side, taking her hand in his, and offering it a gentle, comforting squeeze.

"Daniel has a small malformation, a hole, in the lining of the muscle wall of his heart, it is impairing his heart function... if it's left as it is his heart will eventually stop-" Jean paused momentarily as Marie began to sob again- "It can be fixed though, I can operate now, close the hole, that will restore full function to his heart, he will need surgery again probably around two years, five, and thirteen, so the repair grows with him but other than that there should be no long term adverse effects," she advised. "What are your instructions?"

"Do the surgery," Logan replied, without hesitation. Everyone turned to Marie, for her agreement.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Marie sobbed, "It's all my fault, I did this to him--"

"Marie, none of that matters, tell Jean to do the surgery, let her fix this," Logan pressed, knowing Jean needed to get Marie's consent before she could begin the surgery.

She began nodding, before she managed to croak out her agreement. "Yes, do the surgery," Marie managed to whisper before she collapsed into tears again, barely registering when Logan wrapped his arms around her and cradled her against his chest. Around them, Jean bustled around the room, calling Hank down to assist her with the surgery, while Jubilee played nurse and helped get everything they needed set up.

For a very tense four hours, Logan sat with Marie, waiting for the surgery to be complete. Marie was exhausted but could only manage to sleep fitfully between bouts of sobbing. Ororo eventually brought the waiting crowd breakfast, though no one could force themselves to eat. Finally, Jean and Hank both emerged from the operating room, wheeling a clear plastic incubator between them, arrayed with various medical necessities to monitor baby's life signs and provide him extra oxygen.

Daniel looked even tinier and more fragile, laid out on the white sheet. He had a splint on each arm and leg to stop him flailing around and injuring himself, or dislodging any of the various wires and tubes crisscrossing his body. An angry red line, interrupted by little black staples, marked where his tiny body had been opened up and rearranged. Even Logan felt his heart skip a beat at the sight, and Marie began another fit of sobs and profuse apologies.

"Well?" Logan asked, prompting for an update, once he had calmed Marie again.

"He's going to be fine; he's going to have a scar but that's all he should have long term to show for this," Jean advised. "I'll keep him here, in intensive care for a week, just to be sure, and to monitor him, if that's all fine then he'll be free to head home."

--

Logan caught himself again, not for the first time over the last week, peacefully watching the steady rise and fall of the tiny baby's chest. Jean had cleared Daniel to be discharged, and Logan was supposed to be dressing him readying him to leave but he just couldn't bear to wake him. Footsteps in the hall caught his attention, moments before Marie and Emily walked into the room.

"Daddy, is Daniel ready to go now?" Emily asked excitedly, releasing Marie's hand and rushing up to the crib to stare in awe at her baby brother.

"Just about," Logan replied, scooping the stirring infant out of the crib and placing him on the soft towel he had laid out at the ready on the examination bed. Emily watched closely as Logan removed his soiled diaper.

"What's that?" she asked in disgust, pointing at the shrivelled umbilical cord.

"That's the umbilical cord, that's how he got food while he was inside mommy," Logan explained.

"Why's it gross?" she asked, still clearly not impressed.

"Well, he doesn't need it anymore so it's drying up, and then it will fall off and he'll have a belly button, like you've got," Logan told her, watching in amusement as Emily pulled up her t-shirt, to see her own tummy button, before comparing that to her baby brothers belly.

"Why's he got two?" she queried suddenly. At Logan's confused glance she pointed, to baby's groin.

"Uh..." Logan paused, unsure how to respond, even as he heard Marie trying not to laugh.

"That's not an umbilical cord sweetie," Marie eventually spoke, clearly amused at Logan's sudden loss of speech function; not many people could claim to have left him at a loss for words but Emily had just done that. "That's a penis, boys have that for going pee pee," Marie explained nonchalantly.

"Why? What's wrong with how girls pee pee?" Emily asked, a confused frown on her face.

"Nothing's wrong with it, boys just have different parts," Marie replied.

"So... does mommy has a girl pee pee like me, right? And daddy has a boy pee pee thingy, like Danny?" Emily asked, slowly building up her understanding.

"Yes," Marie replied.

"Can I see?" Emily asked suddenly, causing Marie to laugh again as Logan just about choked on his own tongue as he immediately replied in the negative. "Why?" Emily asked immediately.

"Because your private parts are private, that means you don't show them to people," Logan replied.

"But you're looking at Danny's," Emily pointed out.

"That's different, Daniel is a baby, he can't look after himself yet, he can't take himself to the toilet, or clean his privates so he needs mommy and daddy to do that for him for now," Logan explained.

"Oh, did you used to clean my privates too?" Emily asked.

"Yep, when you were a baby, before your mommy taught you how to use the toilet you used to wear a diaper too," Logan added, as he finished securing Daniel's fresh diaper in place before moving on to dressing him.

Emily seemed to lose interest in that topic, much to Logan's relief, and turned her attention to the next thing that caught her eye. "Danny's scratch is dry," she commented, pointing to the incision on his chest.

"It is, do you remember where the cream is to put on it?" Logan asked, watching as the little girl scrambled across the room, and came back with the little tube of cream to watch intently as Logan moisturized the incision area. Jean had said it would promote healing and reduce the scarring some. "Can you put that in the diaper bag," Logan instructed, pointing to the bag that was sitting at the ready to follow Daniel around for the next year.

He added the wound dressing Jean had left for him, before buttoning Daniel's clothes in place. "You want to give him one last hug for today?" Logan offered to Marie, who readily accepted, she and Emily hugged and soothed Daniel for a while, before Logan suggested they head upstairs to get him a bottle before they left. Marie fed him, and carefully burped him, before handing him back to Logan as he began to nod off to sleep again. Gently, Logan buckled him into his tiny capsule before he, Emily, and Daniel headed for the car, and home.

If being a single father to a pre-schooler had been hard, over the next few days Logan realised, it came nowhere near the difficulty of being single father to a newborn. Unlike Emily's early days, there was no Marie to trade off sleeping shifts with, though he did take the opportunity to nap when they stopped at the mansion every day for Marie to have a couple of hours of interaction with Daniel. Despite this, by the sixth day Logan’s healing factor was having trouble keeping up with the lack of sleep, and he was starting to feel the effects.

"Are you sure everything's alright Jean? I mean, he barely manages to sleep an hour at a time, and when he cries it's not the all-out screaming like Emily used to do, it's like he can't draw in a deep enough breath to really let rip," Logan advised Jean, at Daniel's second week follow up appointment.

"... I want to do some x-rays, is that okay with you two?" she asked, a contemplative look on her face.

"You have a theory," Marie stated matter of factly.

"Bronchopulmonary dysplasia," Jean replied, "Its a type of lung disease in infants, basically it's scarring of the lungs, one of the things that can induce it is oxygen therapy – the ventilator Daniel was on right after he was born – usually though it affects prematurely born babies, Daniel was almost a week overdue so I didn't consider the possibility sooner, his lungs should have been adequately developed, though... developmental interruption could explain them being slightly weaker,” she theorized.

"You mean the substance exposure," Marie replied glumly, tearing up again as she said it, she didn't need to see Jean's sympathetic nod to know she was right.

After x-rays, and a few other tests to measure Daniel's blood oxygen levels, he was sent home with a mild diuretic, to reduce pressure on his lungs, and an apnoea monitor, so Logan could move him if his heart rate or breathing slowed, hopefully before it woke Daniel, so the boy could sleep longer uninterrupted.

--

Marie sat on the porch in tears, wallowing in her own misery. Since Daniel's additional diagnosis earlier that day she had again felt herself spiralling into darkness. There was no one to blame for Daniel's problems but her, it was all her fault. Her current state of mind was not being helped by the fact she had discovered one of the students weed stash and was now on her third joint, a fact that was only serving to feed her self-loathing even more.

When the dark voice slipped into her thoughts, she was powerless to fight it. Why was she even bothering with the pretence of trying to get well, her children would be better off without her. All she had done was hurt them, and Logan didn't need her, he could take better care of them than she ever could. It would be better for everyone if she just left, if she just wasn't here...

--

Logan was woken by the ringing phone, with a groan he knocked it off the cradle, stopping it ringing before it woke Daniel. Then he groped for the fallen handset blindly.

"Wha'?" he muttered, without even opening his eyes.

"Logan, have you seen Rogue tonight?" Scott's voice cut across the line.

"What!? No, what's going on?" Logan asked, suddenly wide awake.

"Jean was woken up by a car driving out of the garage, the only person missing is Rogue, her bed's empty and Jean couldn't pick her up on the grounds, Xavier's not here to search with Cerebro, so we're stuck physically looking for her, look, don't you worry but if she turns up at your place let us know so we can stop looking, Jean picked up thoughts from her earlier in the night about the kids, she thought she was missing them, so..." Scott trailed off.

"I'll let you know if she ends up here," Logan replied, scrubbing a hand tiredly over his face. After ending the call, he did a quick check on both Daniel and Emily, before lying back down in bed. Unsurprisingly, he was asleep again in moments.

A soft but sharp sound woke him some time later, lying in bed confused and exhausted he listened to see if he could figure out what it had been. Probably just the neighbours cat being an asshole again and knocking shit over.

*Knock* *knock* *knock*.

Nope, not the neighbour's cat, unless the wily bastard had learned how to ding-dong-ditch. Dragging himself up, Logan stumbled bleary eyed into the hallway, and down the stairs, immediately spying a slim dark figure through the distorted glass of the front door. Yanking the door open he scowled.

"Damnit Marie, you've got everyone worried and half the damn mansion up looking for you, what the hell's going on?" Logan asked, probably a little more irritably than he intended.

"I need to see the kids," she murmured softly.

"That's fine, of course, just next time let someone know that before you disappear in the middle of the night," Logan replied, gentling his tone in the face of her obvious distress, opening the door wider and stepping aside so Marie could come in. She stumbled a bit as she stepped in the door and his worry again skyrocketed as he caught her. "Marie, have you been drinking?" he demanded.

"No, you said I couldn't see them if I was drunk," Marie reminded him, "And I need to see them... one last time..." The last comment was murmured so softly he didn't think she meant to say it, and she tugged away from him and moved toward the stairs.

She still had yet to even look at him, and Logan was beyond suspicious. Grabbing her arm, he yanked her around suddenly, causing her to lose her balance again. He caught her, and used her momentary disorientation to yank her head up. "You're high!" he stated, quickly spotting her dilated pupils and slightly bloodshot eyes.

"It was just weed, I'm sorry, I really need to see them... I need to say goodbye," she explained softly.

"What do mean 'say goodbye'?" he demanded roughly, shaking her a little as he said it. The soft, calm look that fell over her face did nothing to ease his rising panic. She was too calm, too mellow for this to be just the effect of weed. "What else did you take Marie?" he almost yelled in her face in his panic.

"It's okay Logan, it'll be better this way, I just want to see them one last time," Marie repeated.

"Shit!" Logan fumed, releasing his hold on her long enough to grab the nearby phone. Without his hand on her arm Marie began to make her way toward the stairs again, Logan quickly caught her up as he dialled the mansion and hauled her back to the foyer. "Scott! She's here, get Jean here now, she needs her stomach pumped, she's taken something, she won't tell me what just keeps going on about having to 'say goodbye' to the kids, get here now!" he shouted into the phone, as Marie began to fight against him.

"I don't have time Logan, I need to say goodbye," she was sobbing now, as she tried to push him away.

"What did you take Marie?" he demanded again, refusing to let go his hold on her wrist.

"It doesn't matter, just let me see them, please, one last time," she begged.

"And what, leave Emily with the memory of her mother dying in front of her? Are you nuts! What the hell did you take?" Logan demanded again, panic like he had never felt churning inside him as he watched Marie's desperate struggle quickly weakening.

Suddenly she gasped, falling limply to her knees. "Tell them I love them, tell them I'm sorry... for being such a horrible mother, for not being stronger... and I love you too... it's better this way," she said softly, reaching one hand up as if to cradle his cheek. Her hand never made it though, as she slipped into unconsciousness.

Thinking quickly, Logan did the only thing he could, reaching for her bare skin and hoping like hell she wasn't able to keep her mutation off right now. He felt it, flickering to life weakly as he tried to will his healing into her, he couldn't lose her, it was bad enough her not being around. As much as he sometimes hated what she had done, he loved her more, and if she was truly gone, they would never be able to fix their relationship, and that would break him. He felt her mutation slam on fully, and suck him in, just as he heard a soft voice from the landing above.

"Go to bed Em," he choked out, a moment before he too lost consciousness and fell to the ground beside Marie.

The sports car skidded to a stop, behind the sedan they recognized from the mansions garage. The hallway lights were on inside the house they were pulled up outside of but Scott could pick up no movement from within, as he and Jean grabbed the medical kit and rushed toward the house. Without bothering to knock, Scott twisted the handle, not surprised when the door swung open. He was surprised by the sight that greeted them though.

Logan and Marie were both out cold on the floor. Little Emily, dressed in a pink unicorn nightie and bawling her eyes out, was sitting next to them.

"They won't wake up Aunty Jeannie," the little girl informed them, sobbing.

"Out of the way," Jean replied brusquely, picking Emily up and hurriedly handing her to Scott, who set her down on the stairs and instructed her to go back to bed so Aunty Jean could work. Reluctantly, the little girl made her way upstairs, checking back over her shoulder every few steps before finally disappearing from view.

"I need to pump Rogue's stomach, her skin's active, I think Logan touched her to try and counteract the drugs, we need to get them out of her so the healing can flush the residue from her system," Jean stated sharply, as she set up what she needed, tossing a pair of gloves at Scott as she did.

It wasn't long before Rogue was awake, as soon as the drugs were out of her stomach, the healing factor burned through the last of the side effects and she came screaming, literally, back to consciousness.

"LOGAN!!" she cried, bolting upright. "Oh god, what have I done," she murmured softly, collapsing onto Logan, head resting on his chest as she began to sob.

"What were you thinking Rogue!?" Jean demanded, on the verge of tears herself.

"I thought... I thought it would just be better if I wasn't here anymore, I couldn't screw up their lives anymore, I couldn't hurt them anymore... oh god Jean, his thoughts... I never realised... I thought he hated me, I thought... no matter what I do I always fuck everything up!" Marie rambled through her tears, as she hugged Logan tightly and began to whisper a litany of apologies.

Catching Jean's nod in response to his unspoken query, Scott left her and Rogue alone. Logan was going to be fine, he would wake up as usual in probably a couple of hours. In the meantime, Scott went to check on Emily, muttering a curse when he got to her room and her bed was empty. The nursery was also empty. In Logan's room however, he found Daniel, fast asleep in the bassinet beside the bed, and Emily, a tiny sobbing bundle, wrapped up in one of Logan's flannel shirts clutching his pillow.

"It's okay Em, everything's alright now sweetheart," Scott soothed, sitting down on the edge of the bed beside her.

"Where's daddy?" her muffled voice asked from the pillow.

"Your mommy was sick, your daddy touched her skin to give her his healing power, your mommy's okay now, and your daddy will wake up in a few hours," Scott explained gently.

"You promise?" Emily asked, as she glanced up at him.

"I promise," Scott replied, with just the hint of a grin.

"Can I see mommy now?" Emily asked softly.

"Not right now, your mommy is a little upset right n--" Scott began to explain.

"It's okay Scott, I'm here Emmy," Marie interrupted softly, rushing around the bed to approach from the other side. The little girl scrambled out of bed, still wrapped in her daddy's shirt, and threw herself into her mother’s arms begging to know what happened. "Well... mommy did something silly, I listened to the bad guys voices and I made myself sick, your daddy saved me, he touched my skin and he made me better," Marie explained.

"Is daddy helping you fight the bad guys now?" Emily asked, worry still showing on her face.

"Yeah, yeah he is, I don't know what he's done up there but I can't hear them at all now but you know your daddy's the best at what he does," Marie said with a smile, earning a giggle from Emily.

"Is daddy going to be okay?" Emily sobered as she asked.

"Your daddy is the hardest person on the planet to harm, he'll be fine, it might take him a bit longer than normal to wake up this time, just because he was already so tired from being up so much with Daniel, but he'll wake up, Aunty Jean is going to stay with him, and I'm going to stay with you, until he does," Marie answered.

Emily giggled happily again, before pulling Marie into the bed with her. Scott watched with a relieved smile as they made themselves comfortable in bed, Emily cuddling into her mother’s arms.

"Thanks Scott," Marie whispered, flashing him a smile as he slipped out of the room.

Back in the foyer, Jean was arranging a second blanket over Logan, and he had a cushion under his head. "He's too heavy to bother moving," she commented absently before she turned to Scott, tears in her eyes. "One of us needs to stay with Logan and someone needs to stay with Rogue, she needs constant supervision after..."

"I think Rogue's okay now, Logan's fresh in her head again, he won't let her do anything stupid," Scott assured her.

"Well if that's the way you feel then you stay with Logan, I'll go stay with Rogue," Jean decided, moving past him, and toward the stairs.

"Alright, that's probably better anyway," Scott replied, catching her before she could slip away and kissing her softly. "Go easy on her, she knows she messed up again but I think this time she's got what she needs, she's got Logan, he seems to be doing good for her up there, from what she said to Emily the voices in her head were harassing her and Logan's shut them all up now," he explained, before letting her go.

He stretched out on the couch, in view of Logan's prone form, intending to stay awake and keep an eye on him. A few hours later he was woken by a shout from the floor.

"Marie!" Logan called, sitting bolt upright from the floor.

"Take it easy," Scott muttered, trying to stretch out the crick in his neck, from sleeping in his slouched position on the couch. "She's asleep upstairs, she's okay, Jean's keeping an eye on her and Emily hasn't let her go," Scott filled him in. "How are you feeling?"

"Surprisingly well rested compared to the last three weeks," Logan replied, turning himself around to rest against the stair bannister with a chuckle. "Is she really okay? I didn't realise she was that bad, Charles seemed to think she was getting better, what happened?" he asked Scott, a pain in his eyes that had become an almost permanent fixture in the last several months.

"I don't know, we haven't really had a chance to talk to her, though I overheard her talking to Emily, something about listening to bad voices and you touched her and made all the bad voices go away so, I think she's okay for now, maybe you should come back to the mansion and sit down with her and the Professor to talk this all out," Scott suggested.

"I think that might be a good idea," Logan replied with a sigh. "Are they all upstairs?" he asked, when he looked like he was ready to try moving some more.

"They're all in your room, want the couch?" Scott asked, nodding across the room to the other couch.

"Not much point, they're not going to be in bed for much longer," Logan replied with a grin, as Daniel began to stir and yell for his morning meal. Emily's sweet voice was heard moments, telling Marie that Daniel wanted his bottle now and offering to show her where it was, a moment before the little girl ran for the stairs.

"Daddy!" Emily squealed, almost tripping on the stairs as she picked up speed before throwing herself at him.

"Oof," Logan grunted, as Emily landed on top of him. "Careful squirt, you're a big girl now remember, it hurts when you jump on people," Logan reminded her.

"Daaddeee, your bones are made of metal, I can't break you," Emily replied with a giggle.

"How the hell did my kid end up so sadistic," Logan commented with a chuckle, when Emily ran off again once she had her cuddle.

"She's your kid, that surprises you?" Scott replied with a grin, laughing out loud when Logan flipped him off with a shiny metal claw.

"Logan!" Marie called a moment later, hurrying down the stairs, Daniel resting on her chest, yawning widely now that he had the attention he had been grizzling for.

Logan made it to his feet by the time Marie made it to the bottom of the stairs. For several minutes they just held each other, for the first time in a long time, as Marie began to sob on his shoulder.

"Hey, you alright?" Logan asked gently, moving her back so he could see her face, gently wiping tears from her eyes.

"I'm not as good as last year but I’m better than last night," Marie admitted, with a smile. Any further comment she was going to make was cut off when Daniel began to whimper again, just as Emily popped out of the kitchen.

"Daddy, I can't mix the for-ma-la, come quick," she called insistently.

"She's been a big help, huh?" Marie asked softly, as they followed Emily into the kitchen.

"She sure has, haven't you squirt, you could almost take care of Danny all by yourself," Logan commented, dropping a kiss on Emily's head as she set up the bottle warmer. A bottle, the formula tin, and the jug of pre-boiled water, were all sitting on the counter ready for mixing.

Marie watched the pair working together, laughing and teasing as they did. She felt a contented purr in her mind, as the fresh dose of Logan she had received settled a warm feeling over her. Suddenly realisation hit her... Logan really was happy, being settled, having a family. She had never dared to hope before, always the worry had hung around in the back of her mind that he would one day tire of being tied down...

Logan seemed to find that idea amusing, flooding her mind’s eye with images, memories, the things he lived for, the things he couldn't live without. Her, Emily, Daniel - even when the boy kept him up until all hours of the night screaming his tiny little lungs out. Compared with the few memories he held onto from his old life, cold, hollow, empty, loneliness, until the spark began when he laid eyes on her across that smoky bar in the middle of nowhere. He didn't even remember the name of the town, just her, the look in her eyes, the way she smelled, the way she had looked standing in the snow not letting him drive off and leave her behind. That spark had grown and grown, until it was a warm, comforting glow that permeated his every thought. Even when he thought of her, after she left him, it was still with warmth, with love. The memories of him crying over the loss of her, wishing her back, being terrified that he wasn't a good enough father to take care of Emily alone, and lying in bed at night, alone, wishing he could hold her, still weren't enough to extinguish that warmth.

By the time Logan had heated the bottle she was in tears, had he asked she wouldn't have been able to tell him why. He didn't ask though, he just stepped up behind her, and held her, while they both fed Daniel together.

Scott and Jean didn't disturb them, Scott instead helped Emily find her favourite cereal, where Logan had hidden it so she didn't eat the whole box in one meal.

Once everyone was fed, they decided to all head back to the mansion together. Logan wanted to get to the bottom of what was going on in Marie's head once and for all. He hoped her emotional softening meant she might finally be ready to really open up.

Charles sat before the pair who were occupying the couch in his office. Rogue was unexpectedly happier than he had seen her since she had returned to the mansion. Logan looked uncertain, worried, though at the same time had an air of calm to him.

"Rogue, Logan, you are certain you wish to do this together?" Charles clarified, accepting their simultaneous nod of confirmation. "Very well, Rogue, can you describe what happened last night, why did you do what you did?" he asked gently.

"It started in the morning, Daniel had his check up, and Logan was telling Jean about the problems he was having, she found the scarring in his lungs and she said why it happened and I... I just felt like such a terrible mother... I did that to my child, it was all my fault... and... I don't know what happened, at first, I was just feeling sorry for myself, I- I found one of the students weed stash and I started smoking, and that made me feel even worse, like I was just a failure... then everything went fuzzy, I assumed it was the drugs and I was falling asleep... I don’t really remember anything clearly until I was standing outside the front door..." Marie paused in confusion, before her eyes closed, and she seemed to be looking within herself.

Without opening her eyes, she spoke, "Logan wants to say something, he says... there's something in here, a... darkness, like a cloud, it floats around in the back of her mind but when her emotions pick up it starts to grow and swirl... It's like... a manifestation of all the voices of all the people she's absorbed before, like they've all melded into one and they're trying to take over but they only can when she's emotional, all their insecurities and fears being amplified... Chuck are you able to see this?"

Logan couldn't help the odd feeling that shuddered through him, hearing 'himself' speaking in Marie's voice; that was a first, he hadn’t realised she took so much of him. He watched in silence as Marie and Charles both sat still, clearly communicating telepathically.

Charles pulled back suddenly, appearing shocked. "I must concur, I suppose it makes sense for the visceral reactions to remain, fear, anger, base instinct that would last longer than coherent thought but... the level of vindictiveness and the sheer vile nature of some of the emotions being pushed... it is almost like a conscious force is attempting to control the reactionary focus..." he posed thoughtfully.

"That's not all Chuck, I know Marie thought I wasn't here all this time, that I’d faded away, but I was here, I've been here the whole time in her head but it was like I was trapped, behind a one way mirror, I could see her and everything but she couldn't sense me, it wasn't until I touched her this time that I was able to break through," the Logan in Marie continued.

Charles considered this statement thoughtfully, he had known Marie carried Logan's memories inside of her mind, and some of his baser instinct. It had been ten years since Logan had last touched her, yet Charles had never found a trace of the fragments of his psyche. Logan himself was not familiar enough with telepaths to hide from him, even his own mind was only somewhat shrouded from Xavier due to interference from his metal plated skull...

"Metal. plated. skull..." Xavier murmured thoughtfully, a frown marring his brow. "Logan, is there any sign of Magneto in Rogue's mind?" he asked, a hint of worry in his tone. Before anyone could respond, Marie suddenly broke the relative silence of the room with a piercing scream, before dropping limply to the floor, her descent only broken by Logan's fast reflexes, as he caught her mid fall.

"What--?" Logan began to demand gruffly.

"There is no time to explain, we must get her to the med lab immediately," Charles instructed, already on his way to the door. He called to Jean as they went, and she slid into the elevator behind them as the doors were closing.

"I am theorizing here," Charles began, "But I believe the 'dark mass' the psychic projection of yourself has observed Logan, is an attempt by someone with a knowledge of telepathy to hide their presence, the only person I know, aside from another telepath, who would not only have that knowledge but also have had contact with Rogue, is Magneto... I would surmise, Magneto was not strong enough in his presence to directly influence Rogue, to compel or direct her actions, so he has settled for using the other voices in her head to foment confusion, fear, to slowly work his way through her defences," Charles suggested, as the elevator descended.

"Why not just push her to the Brotherhood or something?" Logan asked, "Why encourage her to kill herself?"

"Magneto is still in prison, the Brotherhood is but a shadow of what it once was, Rogue has collapsed his dream... he has been slowly but surely working at destroying hers in turn, and yours, for saving her... Magneto would not be above such sadistic ritualism, and he has the patience to play the long game," Charles warned.

"Then why is Marie unconscious now?" Logan demanded, as he gently set Marie down on the examination table, now that they had reached the lab.

"He has been discovered, I believe Magneto is playing his final hand, Jean, I will require your assistance," Charles directed, parking himself at Rogue's head, as he gently eased into her mind while Jean quickly strapped her down.

For hours Logan sat and waited, at one point Jubilee wandered down to get an update, and assure Logan that Emily and Daniel were happy and healthy and being taken care of. He felt like an asshole for up and leaving the kids so suddenly and without warning, but he couldn't face the idea of leaving Marie's side. He had let her go once before, when she needed him more than ever if what Charles had said was true, he was not leaving her now. Finally, a frazzled looking Jean stepped away from the table beside Marie, making her way across the room to collapse in an exhausted heap into the chair beside him.

"I think we did it," she murmured tiredly. "He had used the whispers of the other voices in her head to hide and shield his presence, by the look of it he managed to force what Rogue had of you into isolation of sorts, he couldn't control you, and he couldn't purge you, so he hid you so you couldn't help Rogue," Jean explained.

"How much longer is she going to be out?" Logan asked softly, as his mind began spinning again.

"Not long, Charles is helping her back now but she will probably be tired and want to sleep, I'll be keeping her down here to monitor her for the rest of the day," Jean replied, just as the med lab doors opened and admitted Ororo with lunch.

"She's waking up," Jean told Logan softly a few moments later, not bothering to smother her smile as Logan immediately leapt to his feet, and was at Rogue's side before her eyes began to flutter open.

"Logan," Marie whispered, spotting the dark figure standing at her side, his gloved hand clutching her bare one.

"I'm here baby," he murmured, smoothing back her mussed-up hair, watching the soft smile he had missed so much light up her face.

"I love you so much Logan, I'm so sorry for hurting you, I'm sorry for letting him influence me, I'm so, so sorry," Marie suddenly spoke, her dark eyes intensely regarding him.

"It's okay Marie, it was him, it's his fault, I won't hold it against you," Logan responded.

"No," Marie stressed, "No Logan, at the end of the day it was my choice, everything I did, I decided to do, I let him influence that decision but he was playing off my insecurities, and I let him win, I let myself down, I let the kids down, but most importantly I let you down, and I will never be more sorry for anything in my life than that... it might not seem like an important distinction but it is to me, I need you to understand that, I need you to accept it, before we can move on... Can you forgive me?" she asked softly, a wayward tear running across her face and into her hair.

"... I understand what you're saying baby, I forgive you, and I'm sorry you had insecurities for him to play off, I... we need to talk about that I guess?" he replied gently.

"Yeah, but not now, I'm tired Logan, so tired," Marie answered, a few more tears joining the puddle in her hair even as she sighed wearily and closed her eyes.

"You sleep Marie, I'll be right here," Logan assured her, running his fingers through her hair gently.

"You don't have to stay with me, the kids need y--" Marie began.

"The kids are fine, Jubes and Scott are looking after them, you need me now, Emily understands, Daniel's just sleeping he won't even notice, I'm not going anywhere Marie," Logan interrupted, taking a seat on the chair Jean pushed in his direction to make his point. "Now, you close those beautiful eyes and get some dream time going, good dreams only, you hear, don't want to have to be waking you up because of any nightmares."

"Yes sir," Marie replied teasingly, watching with a smile as he chuckled before kissing her hand tenderly, and her eyes blinked closed.

Once Logan was sure she was asleep he asked quietly, "Anything I need to know Chuck?"

"We were able to vanquish Magneto's presence from her mind entirely, the projection of yourself was very useful in that regard, quite strong, and a very solid presence, whereas Magneto was more... almost ghoulish, the projection of yourself was even... equipped, with claws, however they weren't metal, they appeared to be bone, and 'you' didn't appear to be surprised about that..." Charles explained.

"How did you find out this projection of me had claws?" Logan asked suspiciously.

"Unfortunately, the only way to rid Rogue entirely of the presence was to kill him, a process the projection of yourself took a rather substantial amount of pleasure in... don't look so shocked Logan, Rogue was right there beside you helping," Charles added, with a chuckle at the suddenly wary look Logan was giving.

"So, to get the psyches out of her mind, they had to be murdered?" Logan confirmed, scowling at Charles as he said, "So, she killed the me in her mind?"

"No, you are still present in her mind, Rogue refused to remove you herself, refused to let us remove you, and refused to let you remove yourself, I believe her exact words were, 'if you kill yourself Logan I will just touch you again, don't make me have to see that'," Charles informed him, sobering some at the revelation. "The you in her mind has accepted her request to remain, Jean and I helped Rogue to build you a room, in her mind, where you now reside, though I understand Rogue has opted to 'leave the door open' as it were, for you to come and go as you please or as she needs you."

"Is that safe?" Logan asked.

"It is much preferable to the alternative," Charles advised.

"Which is?" Logan queried.

"Rogue being left alone to the mercy of any unfortunate, or not so unfortunate, soul she is forced to absorb in future," was the response. With that Logan was left alone at Rogue's bedside.

It had been a year since Marie's mind had been purged of the last remnants of Magneto, his deception and manipulation of her mind and emotions left her feeling broken and distrustful of herself. That distrust bled into her relationship with Logan, they spent several months having near daily counselling sessions with the Professor before Marie could trust herself enough to tentatively move back into the family home. It was a couple of months more before Logan could coax her back into their room, and their bed.

The first morning she had woken up spooned in Logan's arms, being cradled lovingly as he slept beside her, she had cried, waking him to her tears. At first Logan had panicked, apologizing for pushing her too far, too fast, but when she had finally been able to speak, she had assured him she wasn't sorry. Not for being back where she belonged. She poured her heart out to him that morning as they held each other, telling him how much she had missed him, missed them, how sorry she was for the time they had lost.

That day, Logan began to court her again. Jubilee had even moved in with them for a while, babysitting the kids nightly so Logan could whisk Marie away for 'dates'. They did everything, from cheesy rom-com movies, to nights in noisy fight bars, dinner in the moonlit park, a greasy roadside diner, a fancy restaurant that Logan had to pull out his old suit just to get in the door of. They learned each other, all over again, and every morning woke up in each other’s arms, and greeted the day to the noisy choir of their children's delighted coos and giggles.

Life was good again, almost perfect in fact. There was just one thing missing.

--

"Hey Jubes," Marie greeted, as she stepped into her best friends now empty classroom.

"Hey Roguey, what can I do for you this fine day?" Jubilee asked, flashing her friend a grin.

"Actually, I came to ask you for a favour, could you watch the kids tonight, through into tomorrow morning?" Marie asked hopefully.

"Through the morning?" Jubilee queried, shooting her friend a sly grin.

"Yeah," was all Marie replied, her own soft smile telling Jubilee her own lecherous thoughts were most definitely on the right track as to why the pair would be occupied so long.

"Of course I can, all I expect for payment is full disclosure of all relevant details on the morrow," Jubilee declared, laughing when her best friend rolled her eyes exaggeratedly before agreeing.

Next, Marie tracked down Logan. He was in the gym, training with Emily, who was soaking up her daddy's instruction in all things martial arts. Logan had insisted she learn to defend herself, and that he had to be the one to train her, so far it was paying off, though they had had to tell her off once for using her new skills against her 'best friend', Oliver. Privately, though mostly just to rile Scott, Logan had offered to train Oliver and Nicholas as well, you know, so that next time they were in a fight with a little girl they wouldn't lose so spectacularly. Scott had just glared at him and walked away to go console his son.

Danny was occupied rolling yoga balls around the room but hurriedly left off that task to make a run for Marie when she entered. He giggled madly when she tossed him in the air, and then snuggled with her a while until Logan and Emily finished their practice session.

"I yield!" Logan exclaimed dramatically, as Emily 'pinned' him in the final exercise.

"You shouldn't trick daddy," Emily told him, torn between looking proud of herself and being mad at her daddy's coddling. "I didn't pin you, you're too strong for that, you shouldn't lie that I win," she insisted.

Logan grabbed her by her ankles and promptly picked her up to hang her upside down, well out of her short little arms reach to rain any kind of blow on him. He lifted her until she was as close to his eye level as he could get her when she was still upside-down. "Would you still want to fight with me if you never got to win?" he asked with a grin, watching as the little girl struggled fruitlessly trying to get out of his grip.

Eventually she deflated, and hung limply from his arms, before pouting and admitting, "Prob'ly not."

"One day, you'll be big enough and strong enough to almost beat me, for now, I'm just teaching you the moves you'll need to know to one day be able to do that," Logan explained, as he turned her back up the right way. "Then one day, when you're big enough for the self-defence classes at the school, you'll really be able kick Ollie's butt."

Emily giggled as Logan sat her down on the seat beside Marie, who frowned disapprovingly at his comment before kissing the little girl.

"Guess what," Marie said, mainly to Emily, given Daniel couldn't really speak yet. "Mommy and daddy are going out tonight so you two get to have a sleepover with Aunty Jubi, all night," Marie informed the little girl.

"Where you going?" Emmy asked curiously, as she mimicked her father in wiping sweat off her brow and neck with her towel.

"I can't say, it's a surprise for daddy," Marie informed her cheekily, noting Logan's ears perk at that comment. Emily noticed too, and giggled as if she was in on some great conspiracy.

As Emily moved, at Logan's instruction, to put away the extra mats they had used, and Daniel was loosed to go back to pushing around the giant balls, Logan stepped up behind Marie, growling softly as he held her close.

"So... where are we going?" he pressed, moving his lips over her neck, hoping to soften her up to spill her surprise.

"Be ready to go at seven and you'll find out," Marie replied, turning in his arms so she could return his kisses.

Their impromptu make out session was interrupted by a muted slapping sound, followed promptly by Daniel starting to wail.

"I didn't mean to!" Emily cried, as she rushed to her baby brother, and tried to help him up from where he was sprawled on the ground.

"What happened?" Marie asked gently, trying not to laugh, and trying not to spook Emily, given she was the only one of the two who could tell them what happened.

"I was showing him how to kick the ball, and it bumped into him, and he fell over," she explained, lip trembling as she tried to hug her still waiting brother, telling him again she was sorry.

"It's alright Em, he's little, he's going to fall over a lot as he grows, that's why babies are soft, so they bounce when they fall," Logan said with a chuckle, ruffling her hair and offering her a hug. Danny had recovered quickly once mommy picked him up and put him back on his feet, now it was Emmy that needed the tending to. "But he's a little small yet, and lacking in balance for kicking balls, give him another few months and then we can start teaching him that, but with smaller balls," Logan instructed, grinning when Emily's response was to giggle and ask him if she used to fall over lots when she was little.

From there they went to the showers, and then on to find the kiddos an afternoon snack.

--

They left the kids at the mansion, to have a slumber party with Jubilee, in the teachers’ lounge. Jubilee had offered to 'make a night of it', and take Oliver and Nicholas off Jean and Scott's hands so they could have some alone time too. Then she had commandeered every spare sheet and blanket so they could build a blanket fort to camp in. They were going to pop popcorn and watch 'scary' movies as well, though Scott insisted on approving the movie selections - while Logan stood behind him rolling his eyes and calling him names, just loud enough for Scott to hear but not the kids.

"Well I'm sorry for not wanting to have to put up with weeks of nightmares like after the last time Jubilee showed the kids a movie," Scott and Logan were bitching at each other as the couples headed out.

"Maybe if their dad wasn't such a pansy ass, and could actually do a decent job of 'scaring away monsters', you're turds wouldn't be afraid of the dark, and what was wrong with the last movie anyway, me and Em watched it again a couple of weeks later, the scariest thing in the movie was the talking dog, and only because it was butt-ass ugly," Logan countered with a smug grin.

"Not according my four-year-old," Scott scowled.

"Aww, what was Nicky scared of?" Logan asked, earning another glare from Scott, who had already wasted enough breath telling him to stop using that nickname for his son - it didn't help that that was what Jean called him too.

"It doesn't matter," Scott replied.

"Of course it does, we should know what each other’s kids are afraid of, just in case," Logan answered.

"You know, you're right, what's Emily afraid of?" Scott countered cockily.

Logan paused, frowning in thought for several moments. "I hate to say this Scooter but I can't think of a damn thing; hey Marie, what's Emmy scared of?" he turned to ask the woman in question.

"Well... she used to be afraid of the garbage disposal, but that was a long time ago, before she tossed a spoon into it, um, and she freaked out over that stick bug the first time she saw one, then she tried to eat it, also a long time ago though... I don't know, I can't think of anything," Marie replied, feeling just a little bit bad for Scott that she just proved Logan's point.

"Okay then, my kid's afraid of nothing, now what was so terrifying to Nick that he had nightmares after a kids movie?" Logan demanded, smug grin still firmly in place. Scott sighed, and mumbled something under his breath. "What was that, even I couldn't hear you?" Logan queried.

"He was afraid of the fairy," Jean replied, trying not to laugh herself. Poor little Nicky was such a sensitive soul, and Logan was probably right that he could use some toughening up, but he was her baby, and yeah, she spoiled him.

Logan just stared between the two of them for a minute before he cracked up laughing. "Oh, that is hilarious, a fairy, your kids afraid of a fairy, god help you when his teeth start falling out," he said with a chuckle.

"That was kind of the problem," Jean added, "Ollie lost his first tooth, and we told him to put it under his pillow for the tooth fairy, well, Nicky didn't believe us that fairy's existed, even when the tooth turned into money 'by magic', then when he saw the fairy on the movie he decided they must be real, because it was in the movie, and he became convinced the tooth fairy was going to come and steal all his teeth," she finished with a snigger.

"Yeah, I'm not convinced we should tell Emmy about the 'tooth fairy'," Marie shared with a grin.

"Aww, you afraid she'll be scared too?" Scott grumbled grouchily.

"Oh no," Marie responded, "I'm more worried she's got so much of her dad in her that she'll go and knock some other kids’ teeth out so she can cash in." And the two couples headed for their respective cars laughing at the thought - it wouldn't hit Scott until later that Marie was probably right, and it would probably be his boys she came after. Maybe Logan was right, it was time to start teaching the little kids some self-defence.

"Are you going to tell me yet where we're going?" Logan asked. He had finished dressing already, in the clothes Marie insisted on, and was now sitting on the bed watching her put the finishing touches on her hair.

"Nope," she replied, again, smiling at him in the mirror, as she slid the last pin into place, shook her head to make sure everything was staying where it should, and turned to him.

"Well you know, it's going to be pretty hard for me to drive you somewhere when I don't know where we're going," he added, as he reached for the keys on the dresser. They were snatched away before he could grab them as Marie darted out of the room, calling back that that was okay, she was driving anyway.

It took until they pulled into the parking lot for Logan to figure out where they were going, and he shared a bemused glance with Marie when he did. They came to this restaurant every year, on their anniversary, it was where he had asked her to marry him. Today wasn't their anniversary though...

Dinner went smoothly, as they just enjoyed each other’s company, teased each other, and joked about the kid’s recent achievements - not all of which were 'good'. As they were waiting for dessert Marie suddenly reached into the little clutch she had brought with her. Logan had thought it odd as she usually didn't bring a handbag or anything with her when they went out, and he watched in curiosity as she withdrew something. Softly she set a jewellery box on the table between them, though it wasn't a ring box Logan suddenly got the distinct impression she was about to make a very important statement. With a smile Marie watched him watch her before she began to speak.

"On this day, in this restaurant, at this very table, seven years ago, you made me the happiest woman alive when you asked me to marry you... since then we've been through hell, the both of us but mostly you, that was my fault and I'm sorry for it but if you still want me, and if you still want to be mine... will you marry me, again?" Marie said softly, apprehension clear in her eyes, as she opened the jewellery box to reveal his dog tag, laying on the satin inside the box.

"Darlin I've never stopped wanting you," Logan assured her, smiling over at her lovingly, before he picked up the dog tag out of the jewellery box and hung it in its rightful place around her neck.

"And this one," Marie said softly, pulling out a second box, and opening it secretly. Logan didn't get a chance to look at it until the solid weight was hanging around his neck. Three tags hung from the chain, one for Marie, one for Emily, and one for Daniel.

"Think we need some kiddo ones for yours too darlin," he teased, before leaning over to kiss her, tugging her around the small table to sit in his lap as he did. They were still busy cuddling when their dessert arrived, and the waitress just gave them a smirk as she left their food, before she took her leave and left them to it.

--

A few months later, on the day of their seventh wedding anniversary, they had a small commitment ceremony in the mansion gardens. Accompanied by all the friends, their pseudo family, who had helped them through their rough patch.

Emily and Daniel weren't at all happy about being left behind when mommy and daddy went on their second honeymoon, until Aunty Jubes whispered to them conspiratorially about staying up late, eating candy, and all the pranks they could pull on Uncle Scott and Ollie and Nicky.

"Just don't let them kill anyone," Marie said with a laugh, as she and Logan prepared to depart for a two week, all expenses paid trip to a secluded mountain retreat in the heart of the Canadian Rockies, before they had to come back and step back into their roles as full-time parents, and part-time super heroes.

Forty-one weeks three days later, baby Esther joined the family, living, breathing, screaming proof of just how much mommy and daddy had enjoyed their little getaway.

--

As Logan was again unloading groceries out of bags and into the kitchen cupboards, he again felt that oh so familiar, and for too long missed, feeling of contentment and peace fall over him. Emily came scampering into the room a moment later, followed by Daniel, and without a word but will lots of smiles, they helped put away the groceries. Then they set about making breakfast for mommy, who was still sleeping with baby Esther- but not for long once the giggles started.

Silently slipping into the room, with baby in her arms, Marie smiled at Logan as he supervised the two children now arguing over how to flip blueberry pancakes. Knowing Emily at least knew how to work the spatula, Logan left them to it, and moved over to Marie, wrapping his arms around her, and dropping a kiss on top of her head.

"Hey Logan," Marie murmured softly, smiling up at him lovingly, "Have you ever looked back on your life and wondered what if...? Wondered how life ever worked out to give you so much, when you were so sure you had screwed everything up so badly you could never have a fraction of the joy, and love you've got today? Like maybe you don't deserve to be so damn happy?"

"Every day darlin, every damn day," Logan replied, squeezing her tight, "And I love you all so much more for it, especially you, don't know what the hell you ever saw in me but I'm glad you saw it, I'm glad you loved it, and I'm glad you're here with me."

"Me too... but about you," Marie returned with a beaming smile, turning her head to kiss him softly as she did.