Caliban had updated her with the latest; Logan’s sleepless nights, his increased drinking, and that damn adamantium bullet he’d promised to get rid of. Now she’d had to find a new source for Xavier’s meds. It didn’t take Caliban’s sense of smell to know Logan was sick, had been sick for a while, she could tell from the few glimpses she'd had of him over the last few months. The steady decline was obvious. The years, Xavier’s seizures; even this lifestyle was taking its toll on him.

Rogue glanced at her mug, still full of coffee gone cold. She’d never been a big coffee drinker until she started the night shift at the area hotel north of the border. They hadn’t been saving enough on Logan’s income. Her night job would allow them to put money aside faster, even if it meant another mouth to feed in the way of Caliban’s help.

Good ol' Caliban, she felt bad for him sometimes. He seemed to be an outsider in all this. He'd been more than willing to help, given the way he was living when Logan found him, but he wasn't exactly a friend even after almost a year. Not to mention that sometimes she got the distinct feeling that Logan purposely kept Caliban around so Logan wouldn't rely on her as much. She shook her head. It was best to not mention that as Logan still had his pride and she didn't want to wound it any more than this talk was going to.

She checked the cameras; he’d been back for half an hour, going about his routine of getting Xavier settled for the night. This wasn’t going to be pleasant, he was a stubborn man and her suggesting he get medical help wouldn’t sit well. Steeling herself, she watched him cross the dusty expanse between the buildings, his shoulders slumped in weariness.

Logan knew something was different the second he stepped inside. The scents had become muddled lately, hard to distinguish times and exact locations. Marie’s scent was heavier, fresher than it had been in some time. He checked his watch, she should be gone by now. Listening for a moment he hoped for Caliban’s heavier steps even a deaf man would hear.

Four months… no six months since he’d even been in the same room as her. A wave at the border as they passed each other had been their only form of communication. It was easier that way. It helped keep her at an arm’s length, to help isolate her from the reality of the situation. He’d spared her from a quick, painful death only so she could slowly work herself to death instead.

Marie deserved better than this and he couldn’t give her anything even close to what she needed. The idea surfaced again of how it would be better if she stayed behind. He tossed the idea as soon as it came to mind, like every time before, she wouldn’t allow it. In the end, it came down to the fact he was a selfish bastard that despite how he’d failed her in life, he couldn’t let go of her.

Logan gave a quick thought to Caliban, he still hadn’t decided how to deal with him. He'd been using Caliban to be a relay between himself and Marie; it made it easier to keep her at arm's length. He at least owed Caliban a way out for that. Maybe there was someplace Caliban would want to be dropped off. Not that it needed to be solved tonight because Marie’s car was gone. Caliban had the night off and any decisions on that front could be delayed once again.

Taking his time he avoided the main area. He didn’t know how to greet her after so long. One of the hugs she used to grace him with each time he returned to the mansion would be a great start, but that was probably out of the question. That spark had died with her friends. Now the best he could hope for was a tired smile.

She looked up when he came in, that shy smile, with a slight nervous tick at the corner of her mouth. It was her eyes that reminded him of the first time they met. Those big brown eyes filled with a mixture of kinship and awe. The look that made him stand just a little straighter and feel like he could take on the world for her.

He had to avert his eyes from her, as they tended to linger too long on her curves. It made the feeling, that they could be something more than two strangers, roar to life. Any hope of that had died out too. Though he did have to laugh to himself about a carload of decked out prom girls who thought flashing him some tits, like they were some kind of magical aphrodisiac, could ever compare to Marie simply dressed in an old t-shirt.

Rogue tried not to stare at him; afraid it would make him self-conscious and withdraw from her presence. Time was definitely leaving its mark on him, a little grayer than she remembered, but underneath it all were the rugged good looks he was trying to hide. Though the gruffness that first drew her to him could never be hidden, softened a little around the edges maybe but still there.

It made her love him even more, this big fierce, feral man refusing to give up on a mentor that many would have abandoned long ago. He steadfastly cared for the absent-minded Professor that could kill them all. And for that, she refused to leave Logan to be the sole caregiver, even when he’d begged her to find a better life.

Doing her best to put on a good front, she greeted him, “Hey stranger.”

Another glance and a small lift of the corner of his mouth. His eyes drifted to her breasts, her hips, her bare thighs. An unexpected heat settled low in her belly and she had to turn away. It had been a long time since she’d felt any sexual desire, but leave it to Logan to be the man who could do that with only a look.

“Let me dish up your supper,” she offered, trying to keep him near, to get a conversation going.

Taking off his suit jacket, he unbuttoned his shirt. “I’ll clean up first,” he said, moving to the sink. He’d forgotten what this had felt like, having her fuss over him. It lifted his spirits ever so slightly and made some of the weariness fall away.

Yet he knew there was more to this than Marie taking off a day since being the job. She’d never called in sick and always stuck to the schedule she posted on the fridge. “Night off?” he asked, drying his hands.

“Ese traded me,” she answered. Might as well get it over with, he knew she didn’t miss work and give Caliban time off to fix him supper. Sighing, she said, "We need to talk.”

“No, we don’t.” What was there to say? The plan was falling apart because he was falling apart. Then what? Damn Caliban for not keeping his mouth shut.

“Yes, we do,” she started. “You’re sick, you need to go to the doctor. Maybe-”

He cut her off, “Ain’t nothing to be done.”

Scowling, she pushed his shirt off his shoulder revealing a bullet wound. “It ‘ain’t nothing’, Logan. You’re not healing.” The pain must have been awful and he was self-medicating with the alcohol.

All he could do was stare at her. He should move away and stop this; it was only going to end in an argument. Yet he couldn’t make himself pull away from her. Her scent completely wrapped him up like a warm cocoon. It brought the only comfort he’d felt in ages, washing away the pain. Making him think he could salvage this plan and see it through to the end.

Tearing her eyes away from the barely scarred over hole, to meet his eyes, they were as intense as always when he looked at her but there was a flicker of love there also. It was the same love that had flooded her when he’d saved her life at the mansion. It was the love that gave her hope that one day they might be lovers, the same that made her want to lighten his burden and kept her trudging along this journey with him.

“Just because you quit acknowledging me when we pass at the border and started sleeping in the infernal vehicle when I have a night off doesn’t hide any of this.” She put a hand on his bearded cheek, smoothing her thumb over the corner of his mouth. “Oh, Logan. You’re not in this alone.”

It would be better for her if he was alone in this, but he couldn't tell her that. He didn't want an argument that might make things worse. Logan wanted her to leave so that he could pretend she was living a normal, happy life. He needed her to go so that she wouldn't end up like him, a sorry excuse for a living being.

Damn it, why wouldn't she just leave? Why did she insist on remaining? She wouldn't be giving up anything she couldn't find elsewhere. If she wouldn't leave maybe he could drive that wedge further between them. He could feel it in his metal covered bones that this situation with Xavier wasn't going to end well, a feeling backed up by his gut, and when things went bad, he didn't want her to get hurt from the fallout.

The softness in her look drove him over the edge. He needed to warn her away, his hints had been too subtle up to that point. He let the anger flow through him, the fury that kept him going, the rage that he kept in check when she was close. There was one thing the feral animal in him understood, an aggression that people avoided, wanted nothing to do with. He needed to show her he was capable of something reprehensible to scare her away permanently.

He let the frustration and pent-up rage at the situation he’d brought her into, course through his entire being. Unleashing his animalistic tendencies, he grabbed her wrist in what should have been a bruising hold, forcing a quarrel of a different kind. However, he’d underestimated the wounded animal inside. Releasing the feral instincts didn’t bring forth an overwhelming hostile force to be reckoned with, but the injured part of him that wanted the soothing only Marie could provide.

Logan refused to back down instead pushed on with this line of thought hoping she wouldn't call his bluff. Driving her into the edge of the table, producing a growl that was more heated than irate. “Is this what you want?” he ground out, spreading her legs apart and shoving himself into the space left.

Her eyes widened in surprise and that tantalizing scent that had been nothing but warmth moments ago, took over and blocked up his senses until he forgot everything else. His hand had naturally fallen to her hip and was caressing her skin there. The desire flared up in her eyes, making him grow hard.

“Yes!” was quickly followed by, “Please.” Rogue was mystified at how this had turned from a tough but calm discussion into sex but she wasn’t about to question it.

There was a sudden flurry of movement, and then he was surging into her with her panties still dangling from one knee. He was angled over her, breathing hard and she could see the astonishment on his face at how they got to this point. She pulled him down for a kiss, letting him up for a breath when she could feel him shaking from the effort to maintain the position.

He was leaning heavily on the table, her weight hanging from his frame. It had been a long day, he was recovering from being shot, not well in general and she was piling it on. Shifting her hands down his body, she held onto his ass, making it easier for him to grind into her. Adjusting her legs, he slid deeper closing his eyes in the process.

“Marie…” he mumbled through grit teeth. He needed her to know that his stamina wasn’t what she might be expecting; he didn’t know how long he would last.

“Shh..,” she hissed out. “Don’t stop.”

Logan tried for a slow, steady pace, one that wouldn’t tax him but would satisfy her. There was no rhythm that wasn’t going to send him sprinting over the edge. For the first time since Xavier’s seizures began all of his senses were online and working, he was drowning in everything Marie. It would make his struggle for control a short one.

Rogue had waited for this, wanted this forever and she wasn’t disappointed. Despite their situation, the way life was turning out, it felt so right. This moment made all the strife worth it. All she could concentrate on was the way his muscles worked underneath her hands, his labored breathing, and the slow slide of his cock as he thrust into her.

The whole experience was more than she’d hoped for but looking at him she could tell it was taking a toll on his remaining strength. Locking eyes with him, she saw the love that he tried to hide from her and decided on a different method to speed things along.

He followed the movement of her hand down between them, he watched her rub her clit before he could think better of it. He tried to hold on a little longer, but there was that restrictive feeling that meant his time was up. “Fuck, Marie,” he muttered as the white heat of an orgasm burned up his spine.

At the first spurt of his hot seed, she gasped, convulsing around him. Her world exploded in fragments of color. She was only aware of her own racing heart and Logan’s slowing thrusts. By the time she was coming back to herself, he was already pulling away and tucking himself in.

She should have known better. Sex wasn’t going to bring them closer, he was liable to use it to drive a bigger wedge between them. Rogue was sure that was what he’d intended with the tough act, but it had turned on him. Now she needed to find a way so that it didn’t turn on them both and advance into something they couldn’t recover from.

Straightening herself, she put his supper on the table and went about doing the dishes while he ate. There was so much she wanted to say, but after what just happened, her body still a buzz, she couldn't organize her thoughts into anything coherent enough to tell him. The silence stretched out until he brought his empty plate to the sink.

“Nothing’s changed,” he stated flatly. Inwardly he cringed, it sounded callus to his ears. He should have said that he 'shouldn't have done it', but he couldn't bring himself to say anything that might be interpreted as him regretting what they did. He would never be sorry for loving her, for wanting her.

Rogue couldn't help the smile that settled on her lips, though she was able to stifle the laugh. He was still trying to be that rough loner that picked her up off the side of the road all those years ago. Try as he might she knew him better than that. Hell, even the little piece of him still left in her head wanted to laugh at the sex not being denied, which meant he wasn't sorry about it.

Though the way he was trying to control his emotions, to do what he thought was best for her, wouldn’t do. She’d already had a taste of controlled emotions and it was a lonely existence without him that she didn’t want. Drying her hands, she responded, “No, you're right. I still love you.”

He glared at her, his mouth opening and closing several times in an attempt to find the right words. “And look what your love for me has cost you,” she said, gently tracing the scar under his eye. It was something she tried not to think about, but saving her life had probably taxed his mutation and led to his current condition just as much as anything else.

“I’d do it again,” he said, this time not hiding the emotion from his voice. Taking her hand, he turned it over studying what housekeeping at a hotel had done to her. “But you shouldn’t have to pay a price.”

Chewing the inside of her lip, she was quiet for a moment before catching his eye. “Wasn’t going to stay pristine as an X-Man either,” she said. Squeezing his hand, she added, “It’s a price I’m willing to pay to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Stepping closer, she leaned in to kiss him. He hesitated a moment, trying to think of a good reason not to and was coming up empty. Nothing was ever going to be what he’d wanted for her, but neither of them was the picturesque house with the white picket fence type. So he returned her kiss, slow and soft until she pulled away giving him a questioning look.

“I can’t promise you anything, Marie.” He would love to make all kinds of promises to her, but their lives weren’t conducive to it. Hell, he couldn’t even promise to make it through tomorrow the way things were going. “I’ll think about a doctor.”

They both knew he was fibbing about that. He would have gone to Hank in a minute, yet that was an impossibility. The chance that they could find a doctor that could help and wouldn’t require all that they’d saved would be slim to none.

Nodding in understanding, she decided not to dwell when they were making progress. “How about you don’t shut me out?” she asked hopefully.

“I’ll try not to,” he answered with a little quirk of his lips.

This was a start; she knew his trying was better than most people’s, even now. “Okay,” she said, pulling him closer. Searching his face, she thought they’d come to a better place in their relationship, a place where he wouldn’t keep her at arm’s length, where he wouldn't let someone else be a wedge between them. There was only one way to find out, “Promise me next time,” she began, waving a hand at the table. ”That it won’t be here.”

Logan chuckled, which turned into a cough. “Darlin’, I can’t promise anything if you keep dressing like that for supper.” He hugged her, kissing the top of her head. By God, he would pull this plan together and see it through, if for no other reason than to keep her by his side.

Rogue returned the embrace. A little spark of his old humor and a ‘promise’ of something more was all she needed to continue on. He’d more than likely already forgotten about the medical help, but he wasn’t going to leave her behind and that was enough for now.

~*~