Here Without You
I'm here without you baby, but you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
"Here Without You" - 3 Doors Down

---

Logan turned away from Marie and stared out at the late spring flowers; it was a cool night for this time of year. The moonlight filtered through the leaves of the vine-covered arbor, casting splotches of light over the two of them.

"I need to do this, Logan." He heard the plea for understanding in Marie's voice.

He grunted, arms still crossed over his chest. Really, what could he say? He'd offered to go along, but she had told him no. Marie was determined to finish everything she started. Especially since the accident. She'd spent months recovering, taking only enough healing so that she wouldn't die, insistent that she heal like the other X-Men. He spent a lot of time on the other side of her wall, listening to her cry.

"I won't be hitchhiking this time." Marie broke into his thoughts, touching his arm briefly. "You've made sure I can fix anything that could go wrong on my old Jeep. And I know where to call if I run into trouble I can't handle."

Always so damned determined. Logan shifted his gaze to her face glowing in the moonlight. Making up his mind, he reached for the piece of paper in his jean's pocket. He handed it to her. "You can reach me there."

Marie elbowed him in the ribs after taking the paper. "Afraid you'd get bored here without me?" She carefully unfolded the paper, examining the number in a patch of light. Laughing lightly, she added, "You thought about not giving this to me."

She knew him well. What she didn't know was that he had crumpled it up three times before he finally rescued it from the trash permanently. Logan wasn't afraid he'd be bored. He'd had enough time to ponder mansion life without Marie while she recovered. He didn't want to get used to her not being there.

Marie moved to face him, placing a hand on his arm again. "Logan, I'll return in a month." Her tone said she was trying to convince herself more than him. "It'll be like old times again."

There it was, that was the thing he was afraid of. Before Marie came into his life, the future had always been an afterthought, nothing more than tomorrow. Now, Logan had actively started to think of his future and how Marie would play a part in it.

"You leaving tonight?" Marie asked.

"Yeah."

"Still don't like good-byes?" Even though her tone was teasing, he caught the grimace on her face.

"No." Good-byes in Logan's opinion were overrated, people gushed and faked the sentiment. He didn't want it to be like that with Marie. He'd almost missed the last one and didn't want to tell her good-bye again. But he could see the train-wreck this conversation was going to be. Logan was a man of action, not words and he knew right now Marie needed to hear some kind of verbal approval from him.

He didn't have any to give her.

On impulse, Logan pulled her to him with an arm around her waist. Using a gloved hand, he lifted her chin and he brushed his lips across hers. He watched her for a second as her eyes widened. He was about to step away, but Marie touched a sideburn with a trembling hand and pressed her warm lips to his. He opened his mouth at her inquisitive tongue.

Marie pushed away with the first sting of her mutation. The touch hadn't lasted long enough to sap Logan's energy, but it had been enough to leave him wanting more. It saddened him to think with everything she'd been through, she still struggled with anything more than the briefest of touches.

She blinked at him, her confusion plan to see. Logan inwardly cursed himself. He had hoped to convey all his love through the connection, but he failed her, if her face was anything to go by.

Too little, too late. They were both leaving, why delay his departure? Logan stepped away and stalked to the mansion. Moments later, he was on his motorcycle and down the drive.

---

Logan spent the first few weeks at Carl's, rewiring the place. Not that it would bring it up to code, but at the least the old man's joint wouldn't burn down. After that, Logan took a couple odd jobs in the area and fought a few times when Carl needed to make up the numbers.

Most of the time, Logan tried not to think of Marie. He had to be busy from the moment he rolled out of bed in the morning to the second he collapsed into it at the end of the day to keep her out of his mind.

At the end of the month, the X-Men picked him up for a quick mission further north. Logan learned from Kitty on the return trip that Marie had checked in and wouldn't be back right away. As he departed the jet, Storm gave him a reassuring smile and advised him to be patient.

Two more weeks crawled by before Logan heard word from Marie. During breakfast, Carl mentioned a call for Logan the previous night.

"Some gal called," Carl mumbled around a mouthful of eggs.

Logan's coffee cup halted in mid-air. "Oh." He tried hard to sound indifferent.

Carl made Logan wait as he stuffed a sausage link into his mouth. Logan realized he had been holding his cup mid-drink waiting for Carl to tell him more. Setting the cup down Logan prompted Carl, "There a message?"

Taking a second sausage, Carl slowly chewed it as Logan's patience wore thin. Another minute passed before Carl looked at Logan from under his bushy eyebrows. "Yep."

Irritated with himself, Logan walked his half-finished breakfast plate to the sink. "And?"

"Sounded young," Carl looked out the window, scratching his beard. Turning back to Logan with a smirk, he said, "Heard the Wolverine hooked up with a young thing several years back."

Logan gave a low growl as he dumped the last of his coffee down the drain. Carl almost choked on his eggs laughing. As he coughed, he pointed to a scrap of paper taped to the fridge.

Snatching the paper, Logan stared at the barely legible handwriting. It looked to be for a place around Valdez, Alaska. Tucking the scrap into his shirt pocket he asked, "She mention anything else?"

Carl brought his plate over to the sink. "Something about hurrying."

Logan checked the time. If he left now and drove straight through he could make it by midnight, maybe one. He hurriedly packed his bag, not that he'd really unpacked it to begin with.

Carl met Logan at his bike, shoving a couple of packages of beef jerky at him. Eyeing Logan thoughtfully, he added, "Good thing you're leaving. Don't cotton to roommates."

Letting out a short laugh, Logan replied, "Old codger like you couldn't keep a roommate."

As Logan started the bike, Carl gave him a slap on the back, "Don't be a stranger."

---

Logan knocked solidly a second time. He'd already double-checked to make sure he had the right place. Marie's Jeep had been the only vehicle down at the main lodge. He'd tracked her scent up the trail and this was the only occupied rental cabin.

The porch light came on, temporarily blinding him. Marie's sleepy voice came from inside, "My god, Logan. It's almost one in the morning." Her face appeared on the other side of the screen. "Did you drive straight through?"

"You said hurry," Logan answered as Marie unlatched the screen door.

She pushed open the door, allowing him entrance. "I think you're friend is going deaf." Marie latched the door behind him and switched off the light. His eyes had already adjusted to the darkness of the interior, but Marie was blindly shuffling toward the bed. Logan started for a couch when she added, "It's a love seat, you won't fit. Take the other side."

By the time Logan pulled his boots off, Marie was already asleep.

---

Marie was up early and she'd told Logan if he wanted breakfast he'd better get up. He sat at the small table, hair still damp from the shower, looking at pictures on Marie's phone while she cooked. He recognized Niagara Falls in one picture and a few more that looked to be around the Great Lakes. "The Grand Canyon?" he asked.

"It only added a few days drive to my schedule. Why not?" Marie muttered a curse as the bacon spit. "And Vegas was only a day from there."
Logan listened to her recount her trip while they ate. She grew silent for several seconds, before she said sheepishly, "I met someone."

He bent his fork at her confession, but she didn't seem to notice. The best he could muster in reply was a grunt when the silence stretched out uncomfortably.

He'd hoped after he'd told Marie that he loved her; things between them would be easier, but after her recovery, she hadn't wanted to discuss where their relationship was headed. Even the few times Logan approached it, Marie had changed the subject. He was coming to the realization she had moved on. Best to get the inevitable out of the way.

"So this, guy…" he hated the harsh sound of his voice.

Marie threw a huge smile at him as she entered the bathroom for her shower. "Not a guy," came her light laugh as she left the bathroom door ajar so that they could talk. "He's all man."

Logan looked back at her phone and quickly by-passed the security code. He immediately began examining the photos again, looking for any male faces appearing more than once.

Turning on the water, Marie continued the conversation where she left off. "Let's see; he's tall, dark, and ruggedly handsome. Met him in a bar. It was crowded with lots of yelling, but all I could look at was him."

He continued to scan the pictures, but there were just random faces.

"The first week flew by. He's a little rough around the edges, but he's had a hard life," she finished, shutting off the water.

Putting down the phone, Logan asked, "Is he good to you?"

"Yeah, he is. He tries not to show it, but he worries about me." Marie opened the door all the way. She walked out; drying her hair with a towel, another wrapped around her body.

Logan's eyes went to the 'fresh' scar at her shoulder. He closed his eyes. It wasn't an unsightly scar; it had healed nicely, but he'd failed her.

Marie stepped over to him. "Hey. It's okay." She gave him a faint smile, "It's not your fault, please don't feel guilty about it."

He reached out, lightly tracing his finger over the thickened skin. Her scent changed subtly and she let out a soft breath, "Logan?"

The scar tissue didn't let her mutation pull at his skin and when he finished tracing it with his finger, he left a lingering kiss. Marie made a small whimper and took hold of his shoulder to keep her balance. Logan placed his hand at the small of her back for added support. From memory he found the scar at her hip with his other hand and softly traced it also.

She began to back them toward the bed. "Logan," she whispered into his ear as she pulled him down on the bed, "I learned to control my skin."

Logan froze, still kneeling above her. Marie's breath was hot on his ear. He had a hard time separating out her heartbeat from his. Her 'please' was barely audible.

He let his hand spread out along her hip, watching her carefully for any sign he needed to stop. That she needed time to regain control. He expanded his exploration of her to the smooth skin of her stomach, pushing up the towel as he went.

His brain began overriding the hormones flooding his system. Bending down for a kiss, Logan had the nagging feeling something was wrong. "Marie, what about your man?"

She stared up at him, "Huh?" Marie's eyes suddenly widened, "Oh. I could call him, but last time I had to leave a message." When Logan's brow furrowed, she added with a laugh, "My man sure can be thick-headed sometimes."

He closed his eyes in self-disgust at his inability to detect that she'd been teasing him. Logan lay down on the bed next to her, staring at the ceiling. He drew her closer to him with an arm around her waist.

She sighed happily, resting her chin on his chest. "Ah, Sugar, I love you." Marie kissed his chest through his t-shirt. "You'll laugh about it someday."

"I love you too, Marie." He put an arm over his eyes. "I want what's best for you, but I'm lost here."

"I'm sorry. I haven't exactly been open about my feelings. After the accident, I needed to make sure I could be an X-Man all on my own." She picked up his arm to look him in the eye. "I can't tell you how much I appreciate you staying all those months, through the days you stood outside my door cause I wouldn't let you in and the nights you listened to me cry. It made me love you even more to know you would stay even though it wasn't on your terms."

Marie let Logan's arm drop to the bed above his head. "This trip was supposed to be me sorting out my feelings about you…us. But everywhere I stopped, all I could think about was how much I wished you were there to see it with me."

"We could do that. Go places together," Logan offered.

Marie placed another kiss on his chest. "We could. I'd plan getaways and you could growl at people and pretend you didn't want to be there." She smiled up at Logan while her hand inched its way under his shirt. "Right now, you could show me what you drove non-stop through the night for."

"That I can do, Darlin'," he said as he pulled away her towel.

~*~