Found myself today singin out loud your name
You said I’m crazy, if I am I’m crazy for you
Sometimes sittin in the dark wishin you were here
Turns me crazy
But it’s you who makes me lose my head

Marie had hidden in the box Rogue had made for her after that final confrontation with Logan. She couldn’t face what she’d done. To call him what she did, she must have been crazy. She had hurt him far worse than he had hurt her, if the Wolverine’s howling in her head had been any indication. Slowly the box became a haven. In her own mind it had resembled their room the way it looked before she had so changed it. In her mind their room still smelled like him. Pine and cigar smoke and leather. She lived her days, secluded from the rest of the world. She locked up the Logan in her mind as he was no longer a source of comfort. Her mind was a world of her own making so it resembled the mansion, each room containing the personality of everyone she had stored. Anytime she neared the room that she had stored Logan, he would swear and curse her and roar so loudly that the halls around her shook. He hated her. She had trapped him in that room, but worst of all, she had separated Logan from Wolverine. She kept Wolverine with her in their room. He had never hurt her on purpose and she needed him. In her mind one didn’t have to come with the other. In her own mind Wolverine was all hers.

Rogue liked to remind Marie that she was going crazy. At first she had wanted to protect Marie from all the world had done to her. Now Rogue was scared that Marie would never come out. Rogue was Marie, just a side of Marie that was better able to hide her emotions. She knew Marie needed people. Even the Wolverine in their mind was telling Marie to leave. Marie was too far gone in a world where she and Wolverine were still together. The real world offered a boyfriend she didn’t love, friends that were afraid to touch her, mentors that looked at her with a mix of wariness and pity, even if they cared about her. Logan and Wolverine were the only ones that had never been afraid of her, not even once. They had been the only ones that had made her feel completely accepted, even if it was merely an illusion on Logan’s part.

And every time I’m meant to be acting sensible
You drift into my head and turn me into a crumbling fool
Tell me to run and I’ll race if you want me to stop I’ll freeze
And if you and me gonna leave just hold me closer baby
And make me crazy for you, crazy for you

Lately with this state I’m in I can’t help myself but spin
I wish you’d come over, send me spinning closer to you
I keep on tryin fightin these feelings away
But the more I do the crazier I turn into

Marie was convinced to come out of her shell once and awhile by Rogue. Life outside her mind was always painful and awkward, filled with moments of confusion and insecurity but she knew that that was life. And no matter how much she had begun to loathe some of the people around her, with their false smiles and hesitant pats on the arm, she had promised Rogue she would try. Rogue had threatened her with the one thing that was strong enough to actually scare her. If she didn’t come out the Professor would come in and he would change everything. He had the power to take her world away, to erase everything that had come to mean home to her. She was only half convinced that he would actually invade her mind but it was better to be safe than sorry. Even Marie knew that secluding herself was unhealthy.

It was hard. When she and Logan had been together she had a few friends but those relationships had been tentative and new. Now after so many months to herself she and Rogue had truly become separate personalities, where as they had always viewed most situations differently but were always of one mind on most things. Logan had destroyed that. Her friends were now completely strange to Marie. And she was a complete stranger to them. Rogue had defined herself early on. She would not be the shy wallflower they once were. She was loud and friendly, her southern accent thick. She was fast and strong and passionate and out-going. She always spoke her mind and as long as it didn’t hurt anyone else, did what she pleased.

Marie had remained the same. Soft-spoken and shy, eager-to-please, always trying to blend into the background rather than stand out. When she made an appearance it was clear. There was always the clear indication when her eyes changed from green to brown, but it was more than that. Immediately her whole demeanour changed. She slouched and hid her face behind her hair. Her eyes were always on the ground, and whatever spark Rogue had was gone. It made her friends uneasy. Conversations tended to stop when she made an appearance. Everyone stared.

They tried to be understanding, they really did. They smiled and talked to her like she was a child. They said warm encouraging words that only frustrated her. They did everything they could to make her feel included, even if it became glaringly obvious that she wasn’t, that she couldn’t be. Not when they talked about moments Rogue had experienced with them that were like a dream to her. Half remembered thoughts and feelings that she didn’t connect to Marie. There were times that they had reminded her of moments they had shared with Rogue and they had laughed and joked and tried to tease her about but she would only look at them with confusion or a feigned smile. She wasn`t Rogue and soon they didn`t know what to do with her. They soon formed the habit of forgetting that she was there. And the moment Rogue came back they would smile with relief. To them Marie was the little sister they were forced to let tag along. Even at 21 years old, they all seemed so childish to her. Marie saw no purpose in shopping for clothes when her clothes would never change. How many long sleeve shirts and pairs of jeans did she really need? Playing games like foosball or even on the PS3 the guys all coveted held no allure for her. Maybe they once had but months alone with Wolverine had influenced her. She liked peace and quiet. She liked the stillness of the morning and the quiet hush of the woods at 5 in the morning. She liked to curl up on the window seat in her room with a good book. She hated crowds and noise and it had begun to wear on her, all the well-meant attention and encouragement. She just wanted to be left alone.

Remy LeBeau was the worst of it. He clearly cared for Rogue and he tried the hardest to make Marie feel included. He complimented her and made it clear to her that he wanted to know Marie as well as Rogue. She should have been grateful that he tried so hard and that he didn’t look at her like she was a freak. Instead it only annoyed her and enraged Wolverine. She was Wolverine’s and she would never be Remy’s, but how did you tell that to a man that you were dating? And he was a man. Six years older than her, he was completely confident with his own charm and allure. He was convinced that he would wear her down eventually. At 27 he was getting tired of the excuses Rogue used to keep their relationship from reaching that next step. Marie was the main reason. This was her body as well as Rogue’s, and she was not comfortable with him. He was wary of her skin, which angered Marie, but he was determined to get her in his bed. So he laid the charm on thick with Marie and it was beginning to get to her. He cared about her, no matter how chauvinist he seemed. She had asked the Professor to tell her the truth about his feelings for her and he had told her that Remy was wary of her, but he most assuredly loved Rogue. It worried Marie. He loved Rogue but did Rogue love him? And could Marie ever get past the fact that Remy was not Logan.

Occasionally Marie talked to Wolverine to pass the time or to calm him down when he didn’t like what Remy was doing. Rogue had kept touching skin to skin at a minimum. There were no new personalities to integrate and Marie was often keeping them company so Rogue didn’t worry about them. To the rest of the world she had controlled them. There were only Erik and Wolverine/Logan to worry about. David had faded with time. Erik had surprisingly become a calming influence on Marie. The part in her head seemed to generally care about her well-being. It was the combined influence of Erik Lensherr and Wolverine that made Marie often feel so old. She had memories of the Second World War, and combined with Logan’s nightmares worked to make everyday woes trivial in comparison.

When she would occasionally fall into conversation with either of them the response of those around her was inevitable. Many people watched her as she appeared to talk to herself. Often she would laugh or get angry and address both by name. Only Remy could stand to be near her during these times. Anyone else would shake their head and walk away. The general consensus among people her age was that Marie was the crazy other half of Rogue.

And through all the turmoil and confusion, Marie grew desperate to see Logan. She went to the room she had locked him in daily and she would just sit outside and talk to him. He would yell and scream and rant for as long as she was there but she continued to talk to him through it all. Sometimes she wondered if he could hear her. Sometimes she hoped he could. She told him of her confusion and her fear. She told him that somewhere in her she still loved him. She told him that she understood that separating the halves of himself was wrong and that one day she hoped to reunite them. Logan was the dominant personality as Marie should be and to keep Wolverine from him was torture. She told him that everyone thought she was crazy and that some days she believed them. She told him that since he was gone she felt like an outcast in her own home. She told him how Rogue coped with his absence in their lives and how she tried to, even if she was failing. She told him she was afraid to live again without him there, how hard it was to have enthusiasm for anything. She felt like a shadow of Marie without him and it scared her and angered her. She felt that in the small time that they had been together he had come to define some part of her and that she wished that she could be whole again, with or without him.

Slowly day by day, the growled threats in the room grew quieter and fewer in between. Eventually the room became quiet when Marie came by. He no longer asked to be let out; he no longer spoke to her. Marie wasn’t sure what to think about that. Rogue warned her away from that room. Marie understood Rogue’s apprehension. She avoided Wolverine and Erik and moved on with Remy but she had loved Logan too, probably more than Marie. It was strange how both sides of Marie and Logan complemented each other. But whereas Marie had kept Wolverine with her, Rogue had been torn from Logan. They were both cynical and both played a part that was expected of them. But Rogue had let herself fall for him. His betrayal had hurt her. Marie wasn’t quite sure how much of whom Rogue presented to the world was merely illusion. Even she wasn’t sure how deep Rogue’s feelings were for Remy. Rogue was very good at blocking Marie.

So Marie waited until Rogue was sleeping soundly when she next approached the door. Rogue was dreaming of a wedding with Remy. Marie was a little disturbed by the dream. Rogue was nowhere near excited. She was feeling trapped as she walked up the aisle towards her groom. Marie heard Rogue repeating one phrase over and over. Wrong one wrong one wrong one wrong one. Marie shook it off and promised herself to speak to Rogue about it later. Logan was quiet as usual. She forced herself to reach for the handle of the door. She spoke to him softly and promised to let him out. Wolverine stayed by her side, just as eager for the door to open. She pulled the door open and braced herself in case he attacked. Logan rumbled but did not approach the door. The room was dark. Marie’s eyes strained in an effort to make out what was in the room. She had thrown Logan in here and locked the door. She had made no effort to give him an environment. Anything in here was his own creation.

“Come in Marie.” Marie sighed in relief and smiled at the sound of his voice. Her indecision was gone the moment he said her name. Maybe she was crazy for loving him when he had hurt her. But better crazy than a life without him. She was his.

My, oh my, how my blood boils a sweet taste for you
Strips me down bare and gets me into my favourite mood
Pacin floors and opening doors
Hoping you’ll walk through and save me boy
Because I’m too crazy for you, crazy for you