When will I see you again?
You left with no goodbye
Not a single word was said
No final kiss to seal any sins
I had no idea the state we were in

Marie was kept mostly in the dark about what went down with Logan. Rogue was only trying to protect her she realized. It still hurt to know that he was gone, possibly forever. The last thing she could remember before Rogue took over was Logan’s face when she told him not to call her Marie. He was so hurt, but then, so was she. She was still hurting, still crying at random times when she allowed even a shadow of Logan to cross her mind. Did Logan say goodbye? Rogue told her no…he left with no words spoken in protest on either side. It was for the best, Rogue insisted.

Marie would never even get to give Logan a farewell kiss. She would never see the Wolverine’s gold eyes staring at her with so much hunger and affection. She would never know why Logan betrayed her and slept with Jean. The answer should be obvious. Jean could touch him, could provide things for him that she never could. Jean could touch him with bare hands; she could kiss him, their tongues tangled together like they had been that night. Why? Why had Logan done this to them. He’d done this to both her and Wolverine. They belonged together. She was his mate, he was her other half and she knew he hurt as much as she did at their forced separation. But Logan controlled the reins of his and right now Rogue had taken over hers. Rogue only wanted what was best for Marie and what was best meant no contact with Logan or the Wolverine for both their sakes. So Marie stayed in the background and did her best to forget.


I know I have a fickle heart
And a bitterness and a wandering eye
And a heaviness in my head

But don’t you remember?
Don’t you remember?
The reason you left me before
Baby, please remember me once more

Logan considered going back to see Marie. Going back to apologize and try to fix the mess he’d made of everything. Had he been an idiot or what? How had he chosen Jeannie over his Marie? He wanted to tear himself to pieces to punish him for hurting her the way he had. The look on her face: devastation, followed by complete emptiness. At that moment Rogue had taken over and completely shut down everything she was feeling, but he’d known. He’d known what it would do to Marie even before he’d started his little affair with Jeannie. He’d known but he’d ignored the feeling of guilt and self-hatred. It was his way of proving that he didn’t deserve her. Not sweet, innocent Marie, who always looked for the good in people. Now she was simply Rogue; Rogue who told him to fuck off in that cold, detached voice of hers. Rogue who laughed at him when he demanded to speak to Marie and hung up on him mid-sentence. He was almost proud of her and the way she handled a bastard like him; almost proud anyway. Most of the time he was angry and lonely and heartbroken. Ha, if only Scooter could see him now: the Mighty Wolverine, broken and crying for his lost love. Even the thought of how low he’d fallen made him sick. He missed Marie more than anything in the world.

He’d analyzed why he was the way he was. Why he’d felt the need to destroy his life just when it was getting good. He knew he was fickle. He’d been eyeing Jeannie the moment he’d set eyes on her but he’d still done his best to make sure Marie knew she had a chance with him. He told her she was enough and for Wolverine she had been. A perfect mate, she would never stray and she looked at him through rose coloured glasses. He’d enjoyed it, the hero worship in her eyes. He’d let her fall in love with him, knowing from the moment he met her that she was his for the taking. Yet he’d still flirted with Jean, kept his options open in case this thing with Marie didn’t quite pan out. What a bastard he was. Jeannie knew the score, Marie hadn’t.

He’d been bitter, certain that anything he had was bound to be taken away from him at any moment. It had happened before hadn’t it? He had fragments of memories about a woman, dark hair, dark eyes and a shy smile. He was sure he’d loved her in another life. Was she still alive? The worst thing was that he was almost certain she was real. He was almost certain, but not 100%. His memories from before 15 years ago were filled with holes and imagined memories. He could never be sure if she really existed. Sometimes, on his bad days, he managed to convince himself that whatever he had with Marie was bound to end. It was his fate. She would leave him when she found out what a real animal he was. She would leave him when she could no longer deal with all his insecurities and his doubts. She would leave him when his lack of a past and his obsession with it became too much for her. It was the only thing he knew in this life. She would leave him eventually and he didn’t want to be the one heartbroken and left behind. So he distanced himself from her, pushed her away, even as Wolverine demanded he keep her close. Logan liked Jean Grey, was attracted to her right away. He would never love her, could never love her. Marie had been his one and only and he wished that he could express that without all the doubts and fears clouding everything. She deserved more than him, more than he could offer. That didn’t mean that he didn’t try to get her back.

The professor had forbidden him from coming back to the school right away. Wolverine wanted to rip him apart for that particular command. Logan understood he was only trying to protect one of his children. So he called Marie every weekend. He asked for Marie and he got Rogue instead. Rogue made it clear she was becoming increasingly annoyed at his repeated phone calls. She told him to leave her alone. Marie was gone and he’d made sure of that himself. She told him that Marie was weak so she’d gotten rid of her. He despaired and begged her to bring Marie back. He’d cried and pleaded and reminded her of all the times before the affair. Times that she couldn’t deny were the happiest days of their lives. She’d agreed on one point. They were the happiest times of Marie’s life, Logan could go to hell. He hadn’t cared anything for Marie and clearly he’d been playing with her. If they made him happy at all it was because he was laughing at her and her naivety.


When was the last time,
You thought of me
Oh have you completely erased me,
From your memory?
I often think about where I went wrong
The more I do, the less I know

But don’t you remember?
Don’t you remember?
The reason you left me before
Baby, please remember me once more

Marie often analyzed what she did wrong. Hadn’t she pleased Logan enough? She’d been inexperienced but he’d assured her that he loved that. Both Logan and Wolverine could agree on that. She had been untouched before them and that made her theirs completely. Wolverine often assured her that they would be the only ones to touch her. She was theirs. Yet now she wondered about it. Had her inexperience bored him? Had he grown sick of teaching her what to do to please him? Had he grown tired of her? Had she done something wrong? These questions plagued her if she let them. If it wasn’t her sexual inexperience it was her age she wondered about. Did he tire of her immaturity? Had she not been ‘woman enough’ for him? Maybe she’d annoyed him and the thought of spending the rest of his life with her had sickened him. Maybe her skin had finally gotten to him. Maybe he couldn’t live without touch and he’d grown tired of touching through silk scarves, never being able to even kiss her on the mouth without something separating them. Marie could drive herself crazy imaging all the reasons behind Logan’s infidelity. But the thing that plagued her most was the fact that he hadn’t called. Not once. Rogue told her that once he’d left out that door he hadn’t made any attempt to contact them. It hurt almost as bad as his betrayal. Had Logan even cared for her at least a little? Did he think of her with any form of fondness or regret? Did her miss her or was she just one more notch on his bedpost. Even worse, maybe he didn’t think of her at all. Maybe Marie had been so insignificant that he didn’t bother to remember their time together. Maybe he’d moved on completely. She couldn’t hide her anguish on days she thought like that. He had forgotten her, plain and simple.


Gave you the space so you could breathe
I kept my distance so you would be free,
And I hope that you find the missing piece,
To bring you back to me

Logan stopped calling after three months. Three months of drinking and fighting and the weekly phone call he got his hopes up for every week. And every week Rogue shot him down. Eventually she refused to take any of his calls. So he stopped calling. He hoped that one day she would forgive him and seek him out. So he did his best to move on. The professor promised that he would do everything in his power to bring Marie back to her normal self. He warned it could take months. Logan had hurt her and Rogue was willing to keep Marie hidden forever to protect her from it. So Logan was willing to wait and hoped that one day Marie would find her way back to him.

Why don’t you remember?
Don’t you remember?
The reason you left me before
Baby, please remember me once more
When will I see you again?