This is it.
I take a deep breath as I push the door on my black Ford open, ignoring the butterflies in my stomach as I climb out. Leaving the doubts that were in my head in the car, I quickly slam the door shut and lock it as if they were a rabid dog in danger of escaping and infecting me.

I quickly brush a white lock of hair out of my eyes, sweeping it behind my ear. Another deep breath, I stand straight, head high and confident as I put one nervous foot in front of the other, making my way down the drive way that I’ve been eyeing up for the last hour. The crisp brown leaves shuffle and crunch together under the tread of my black worn out military boots. I look at the building before me, my eyes quickly shifting from one window to the next, not holding my gaze too long in case I’m seen staring in. My pace slows slightly as I consider turning around, walking away. But where to? I have nowhere else to go, so I decide to carry on. I’ve come this far, no turning back now.

I haven’t been here in nearly four years and yet I remembered my way back here without a second thought as to which direction to go, without a single mistake. It was as if I’d travelled this road a thousand times before. Which I had done, in my mind and in dreams. I’d travelled these roads almost every day, retracing the route over and over that it had been etched into my brain. It was as if it had been branded on with a white hot iron poker, every exact twist and turn carefully cauterised into my soul and no amount of time could ever erase it. I think I could live to the end of the world and still remember as if it was the only thing I’d ever known.

((A few days later))

The cold November air harshly hits the back of my throat and fills my lungs as I take a deep calming breath. I‘m only a few feet away from the wooden door, I can see the light through the heavy living room curtains. I reach out. It’s still not too late to turn around, leave. But I guess there’s no point, he’ll be able to tell I was here even if he didn’t see me. I gently tap the door three times then lean gently on the wooden door frame. I push my gloved hands into the silk lined pocket of my thick black coat. I try my best to look confident, sure of myself. But I’m not. How will he react? He isn’t expecting me, he isn’t expecting anyone. He came here to get away from everything and here I am turning up unannounced. What if he thinks I’m stalking him?
Too late. I hear the sound of foot steps approaching on the wooden floor the other side of the door. One last deep breath to hold back the part of me that wants to turn and sprint off unseen into the night.

The door opens. Slowly, just a slight gap, enough for him to see out. His hair is a little damp and ruffled, a few of the dark strands hang carelessly in front of his deep brown eyes. Somehow he looks more muscular, but perhaps he‘s been working out more or maybe I‘ve just forgotten how big he is.
He doesn’t say anything, just looks at me puzzled, furrowing his brow in a questioning way.
I look up at him, holding his curious gaze, my lips curling into an unsure grin as my heart beats frantically and my stomach ties itself up into a million knots. I suddenly regret my decision. But then, something in his eyes tells me that he’s not mad. His eyebrows twist down, as his lips part slightly “Marie?”

My smile widens and I stand up straight “Hey stranger” I laugh lightly, but he just carries on staring at me and now I really think this was a bad idea turning up unannounced, uninvited.
Just as my smile begins to fade, a smile creeps onto his lips. He tries to say something, but a few short gasps and stutters fall out of his mouth as he attempts to find the words he’s looking for. He laughs and shakes his head at himself “What are you doing here?” he asks, opening the door wider, but although he’s smiling, I can hear the questioning tone in his voice.
“Well, I had the week off and it’s so boring back at the mansion, so I decided to come visit you.” I grin sheepishly as I shrug my shoulders. I hope he can’t tell that I’m hiding something from him, he always knows when I’m lying. Although, technically I’m not, I’m just not telling him the whole reason that I came here.

We stand there for a few seconds just looking at each other. He quickly brushes his hand through his hair “Where are my manners? Come in.” he smiles, pulling the door open and gesturing for me to enter. I grin sheepishly as I walk into the place I’d dreamed myself to on so many nights. A small mirror and an old painting decorate the wooden walls of the small hallway. A wooden sideboard sits on the left side directly under the mirror with an empty beer bottle and a few pieces of paper sitting on top. “Did you want me to take my boots off?” I blurt out clumsily into the silence.
“Um, if you want.” he says, raising an eyebrow as he closes the door behind me. He looks at me for a moment before quickly walking over to the far door on the left “I’ll just go put the kettle on” he tells me as he goes.

I bend down and begin to remove my boots as he flicks the light on in the kitchen. I can’t help but feel that I’ve possibly made a mistake by coming here, I didn’t expect it to be so…awkward. I don’t know what I expected really, I mean, sure I spoke to him on the phone a couple of times and he had said that I’d have to come here sometime but it wasn’t a direct invite. Hell, I’d only came here once before and that was years ago, it must seem weird to him how I remembered how to get here, I find it weird myself. I mean, it’s not exactly easy to find. It must seem a strange to say the least, but it was the only thing I could think of at the time. Now I wish I hadn’t come here at all, save myself the embarrassment of suddenly springing up out of the blue and expecting him to be okay with it, to be okay with what I‘ve done to myself. He was bound to ask questions, including why it was him I’d came to. Although I did have an answer for that and it gave me a reason to be here, one I’d been looking for for weeks, months, I don’t know if he’ll be alright with it, with me breaking the peace that he came here for. And as for the main reason I came here, well, it would be impossible to tell him now, things are so difference face to face.

I place my boots neatly by the door and make my way over to the kitchen.
“Sit down.” he gestures to the table in the middle of the room “Coffee okay?” he asks as he shuts the fridge door, a bottle of milk in his hand. I nod as I sit down on the chair closest to me. “One sugar, right?” he smiles smugly looking over his shoulder at me, knowing that he is correct. I smile and nod, I‘m surprised he remembers such a trivial thing.

I watch him silently as he pours milk into the two mugs in front of him. I watch as the muscles in his arms move gently beneath the sleeves of his navy blue shirt and just as my eyes begin to drift further down his body, he turns around. I quickly snap my eyes up to meet his.
“So,” I begin as he brings two mugs over to where I’m sitting “How’s your search going?” I ask quickly before he can begin asking me any questions.
He places the hot drinks down on the coasters and takes a seat opposite me. “Not too good” he sighs as he shakes his head. I know he won’t want to talk about it, so I don’t press him for more information.

I stare down into my cup coffee, all the things I’d thought I could say to him, talk to him about, had now completely disappeared leaving only one thing running through my mind.
“Are you alright?” he asks from the other side of the table looking concerned, the sound of his voice making me snap out of it.
“Yeah, I’m fine” I reply as I shake that thought to the back of my mind.
“So, how have you been?” he asks, raising his mug to his lips.
“Okay” I shrug, but before I can carry on, I can tell by the look on his face that he doesn’t believe me. “Everything’s fine” I say before he can get a word in edgeways, forcing a smile on my face.
But he looks at me sternly “No, really.” he says before taking a careful sip of his coffee.
I shift slightly and suddenly the delicate pattern on my coffee cup captures my interest. I can feel his gaze burning through me and know that I have to tell the truth. There’s no use in lying, it wouldn’t take a mutant to be able tell that the tone in my voice didn‘t match the words I was saying.

I sigh heavily, staring down at my wool gloves. “Where do I begin?” I sigh again, glancing up at him briefly before dropping my head back down. I purse my lips together and cup my chin with my left hand as I think of the events that had led me into this very moment. “Bobby and I…” I begin, my voice quieter than I’d meant it to be. I clear my throat and continue “I left him.”
His face softens somewhat but there’s something else there. I can’t tell what it is, it looks like a mixture of frustration and confusion.
“So you came here?” he says with a slight harshness to his voice and with that, I feel a lump begin to form in my throat as all the confidence I‘d managed to gather up abandons me.

“He was cheating on me with Kitty” I eventually manage to whisper. He looks at me sympathetically, but I can see the anger growing in his face. He told me that he didn’t trust Bobby and I guess he was right not to. “My best friend and my boyfriend, what a joke…” I say gently raising my eyebrows, trying to keep my voice steady as I hold back the tears that are now forming in my green eyes.

“That fucking asshole!” He growls, “Just you wait till I get my hands on him!”
“Logan no, there’s no point”
“No point? You really think I’m gonna let him get away with hurting you? And Kitty, I thought she was with Pete. What a little whore!”
“Logan please,” I say, reaching across the table to take hold of his clenched fists, but he stands up before I can reach them.
“It’s because of your mutation!” He begins to pace up and down, his boots thudding heavily on the wood floor “That filthy little pervert, just cause he wants to get laid he thinks it’s alright for him to go with some other girl?”
I bite my quivering lip and look from him down to the floor as I try to hold my tears back. He suddenly stops and looks over at me, I can feel his gaze on me as silent tears burn my cheeks. I know it’s the truth and it hurts. I’ve been trying for so long to gain control of my mutation but nothing worked and now I lost someone who I thought loved me for who I was, not what they could get.
“Marie, I’m sorry darlin‘ I didn’t mean to upset ya…” he says soothingly as he kneels down next to me placing his hands over mine.
I shake my head “But it’s true. Who‘d want a girlfriend they couldn‘t even kiss without risking their life?” I say as I wipe away the tears with my free hand, only for them to be replaced with fresh ones.
“Darlin’, who wouldn’t want a beautiful intelligent girl like you?”
I smile slightly at this comment. Not that I believe it, just the fact that it’s coming out of Logan’s mouth makes it sound…nice. Does he really think I’m beautiful? No, don’t be silly. He’s just saying it to be kind. Why would Logan, the Wolverine, want someone like me?
“Come here” he says. He stands up, pulling me to my feet with him and places his arms around me, holds me tight to his chest. He places a gentle kiss on the top of my head.
I burry my face into his shirt wanting to cry again. Not just because of my friends betrayal, or my mutation. I wanted him to hold me like this for so long, ever since I met him, even when I was with Bobby. I know, I know. It’s kinda hypocritical of me thinking of another man when I have a boyfriend, but there’s a difference between fantasy and reality.
“Just forget about that jerk for now, I’ll deal with him when we get back. And Marie,” He pulls back a little and looks down at me still cradled in his arms “don’t ever think that your mutation can stop you from doing anything, okay?”

I nod as look up at him nervously. No better time than now… “I know it can’t,” I begin as I pull the black glove off my right hand and reach up to place my hand gently on his cheek “I got the cure.”

I pull my hand away. He’s still staring at me as my words sink in, as he realises that the last time I held on to him for that long I nearly killed him. He frowns at me “Why?” he says, barely a whisper.

I bite my lip nervously and shrug my shoulders a little “I just….I was so fed up. You don’t know what it’s like Logan,” I sigh as pull myself out of his loose embrace and turn away from him to face the window. “You don’t know how it feels to not even be able to walk past someone without being so scared that you’ll hurt them. To not even have something as simple as a kiss. I couldn’t even hug someone without…” my voice trails off unable to carry on as I stare out the window at the crescent moon shining above the mountains.

I hear him sigh as he takes a few steps closer to me “I hugged ya...” he reminds me. I smile at his words. He was the only person in the mansion who dared to touch me when I didn’t have my gloves on, kinda surprising considering I’d nearly killed him on more than one occasion. Even Bobby was afraid to touch me after kissing me at his parents house and feeling the affect of my mutation.

We stand silently for a while. He places his hand on my shoulder, his eyes now looking out to the night sky too. “Marie,” he says gently. I wait for him to carry on talking but he doesn’t. I turn my head to look up at him. “I hope you didn’t do this for Bobby.” his voice is soft, but still has a harsh sting to it. I watch as he walks over to the fridge, pulls out two beers and exits the kitchen.

I wrap my arms tight around myself, suddenly feeling colder than before despite the many layers of clothing I have on. I hesitate before slowly following him from the small kitchen into the equally size living room. Is he mad at me?

He’s sitting on the old beaten leather sofa, his feet resting on the coffee table, boots in front of the warm fire. “Here” he says holding out a bottle of beer for me, forcing me to step closer to take it from his hand. “Sit” he grunts as he flicks the lid off his bottle. I do as I’m told and sit down next to him, his large frame making me feel smaller than I already do.

“Logan…” my voice shakes slightly, my fingers fiddle with the label on the glass bottle. He looks at me waiting, I can tell he’s annoyed with me. He warned me before when I said I wanted to get the cure, said I shouldn’t do it for ‘some boy’.
“I wanted this. I can’t tell you how long I wanted to be able to touch people. To not worry every day that I was gonna accidentally kill someone. No one could understand that fear I had. It had been on my mind ever since I found out about the cure, I thought about it every day…” I look up at him again, his eyes fixed on mine. “I went to see Bobby,” I say slowly as begin to feel tears forming in my eyes again “he was with Kitty. The two of them there just…”

I don’t have to tell him anymore, its obvious what I’d seen. My boyfriend, the guy who wanted to be with me even though he couldn’t ever touch me, with my friend, someone I thought I could trust no matter what. Their clothes sprawled across the floor, them moving under the sheets, touching each other, giggling. Laughing at me. Poor little Rogue, the girl with the deadly touch. She would never be capable of such things.
“I didn’t wait to hear their excuses, nothing could change what they’d done. So I left.” He’s angry. I can tell without looking at him that he wants to hunt Bobby down and make him pay for hurting me. Logan has always been protective of me, perhaps too much at times, but it’s nice to know that at least one person cares about me. “I decided enough was enough, you know? So I got the cure.”

He frowns at me “So you got it because of what they did?”
“No, well yeah…kinda…I-I,” I take a deep breath to calm myself down before continuing “I was going to do it anyway, but something in the back of my mind always stopped me. I know what I’d of done once I got this cure and it would of made me as bad as them two…I didn’t do it for Bobby, it was never about him. I wanted to do this for myself and….and”

Just as I’m about to tell him, let him know the truth, I’m interrupted, forced to a grinding halt by the sound of the front door opening followed by a woman’s voice cooing “Honey, I’m home!” I look from the doorway, to Logan and back. What the hell?
“Honey, who’s car is that outside?“ asks a blonde woman in a white fur coat as she makes her way into the room, two bags of groceries in her hands “Oh, hi,” she smiles sweetly “You must be Marie!” she gasps “I’ve heard so much about you, it’s good to meet you finally!” She shoots a frown at Logan, I’m not sure if it’s serious or not “Next time tell me if we’re having guests, alright?” she says firmly but still keeping that sickeningly sweet tone in her voice before walking to the kitchen. I stare after her in disbelief then turn to Logan. He has this weird look on his face, a mix of emotions but not one of them seem happy to see her.

I lay in the dark an’ listen.
I can hear her. Smell her. Just the other side o’ this wall. I can hear every muffled sob, every tear that falls from her beautiful green eyes. The sound o’ her sobs are unbearable, all I want to do is hold her, but I can’t. Hell, I don’t even think she’d want me to. The closest friend I had since…well since I can remember. But she was always more than just a friend to me. I could happily spend every day of the rest o’ my life with her, only her, an’ never get bored.

I glance over to Sarah. She’s sleepin‘, unaware o’ the thoughts goin’ through my mind, o’ the noise comin’ from the next room. Lucky for her she doesn’t have hearin’ like mine. I can’t even think o’ goin’ to sleep when I know my girl, My Girl is in the next room cryin’ her eyes out. It should be her in my bed.

As for the woman next to me, I don’t even know how she ended up movin’ in. I met her in a near by bar. She was makin’ eyes at me all night, glancin’ over, battin’ her eyelashes, y‘know, all the usual stuff women do when they wanna make it obvious they wanna fuck ya. So I took her home with no intention o’ anything other than meaningless sex, like I‘d done with so many women before, to temporarily satisfy the needs o’ the animal in me. She stayed one night, just one night, but then she kept on turnin’ up. First back at the bar a few days later, then eventually here on my doorstep. I didn’t mind at first, I mean what red blooded man would turn down the opportunity if the woman was practically offerin’ herself on a plate? Then one day she just…stayed. An’ I guess in the end I’d given up waitin’ for Marie. There was more chance of Scooter finally growin’ a pair than her gettin’ with me, an’ that was highly unlikely to say the least.

She’d never want me. Too old, too unreliable, too dangerous, too rough to even think o’ comparin’ me to the clean-cut-Mr.Perfect kinda guys she liked. She was happy with Iceprick, until he broke her heart. Just thinkin’ about that fuckin’ idiot makes me wanna punch somethin‘. When I get my hands on him he’s gonna wish he weren’t born. A small growl rumbles from my chest as I think o’ all the ways I can brake every bone in his body, make him suffer for the pain he‘s put her though.

After a while, the sound of her tears stop. I think she’s asleep now.
I wait some time, wonderin’ if she’s alright. Maybe I should go check on her. I pull the covers off my body an’ get to my feet. I have to make sure she’s okay, just a quick glance in won’t hurt.
I move silently out o’ my room an’ to the door across the hall to the small room where she is. I carefully turn the door handle an’ push the door open a little. The room smells of her sadness, its worse than anythin’ I’ve ever smelt before. Worse than the most polluted sewer or a thousand rottin’ corpses combined.

I look over at her sleeping form. I can’t see her face from where I‘m standin‘, the blanket pulled tightly around her small body in that big ol’ bed. I move closer, careful not to stand on any o’ the floorboards I know will creek as soon as I step on them. I don’t wanna wake her. I just need to know she’s alright, then go back to my room.

I stand there for a while watchin’ her. Her chest gently risin’ an’ fallin’ she inhales an’ exhales. Her face is soft, but still looks sad somehow. Her hair sprawled across the pillow, white strands framin’ her face. The tears still wet on her cheeks glisten in the soft moonlight that pours in though the small window near the bed. All I can think o’ is how much want to lay next to her, hold her, feel her in my arms, protect her from everythin’ bad in the world. That’s all I want. Hell, she’s makin’ me sound like a sissy! Big bad Wolverine, yeah right. I feel more like some cute little harmless puppy right now, not that I‘ll ever admit that.

But I can’t help it. It’s weird. I ain’t ever felt this before, don’t think I ever did even in my lost past ‘cause I‘d sure as hell remember a feelin’ like this. Weird light-headed-nauseatin‘-butterflies-in-my-stomach-heart-beatin‘-way-faster-than-normal crap. I’m not sure, but I think I like this feelin’. Not that I’d ever admit to that either.

I don’t know what it is, or why, but there’s always been somethin’ about her, somethin’ strange and captivatin’ that I can’t quite put my finger on. It’s kinda like that riddle ’Why is a raven like a writing desk?’
“I haven’t the slightest idea…”

Breakfast was…awkward. Full more of questions and little stories of Logan and Sarah’s ‘adventures’, although he didn’t find them as amusing as she did. She reminds me of that ginger girl in the American Pie movies “One time, at band camp,”. I was relieved when I found out she had to go to work today, not sure if I could stand spending another day with her and her little anecdotes, yesterday was bad enough.

I’d stayed in bed until nearly 11am. I wasn’t sleep, I was trying to avoid her. And Logan for that matter. I wanted to see him, but I wasn’t sure if I could face seeing the two of them together. When I did finally pluck up the courage to leave ‘my’ room, I found them in the kitchen. He was leaning against the kitchen counter, her pressing herself against him, her lips just about to touch his. He pushed her away when he saw me, probably didn’t want me to be reminded of Bobby. I wanted to turn and run away when I saw the two of them there like that. The rest of the day didn’t get any easier. Her all over him like a rash. I think he got a little annoyed with her in the end, told her to stop when she started getting a little too friendly with him in front of me. She was full of apologies, he’d obviously told her about what happened between me and Bobby. I went to bed early too, not that I was tired. I’d seen enough of her pawing him for one day.

After a shower and a change of clothes, I sit on ’my’ bed bushing my damp hair wondering what I should do now. I can’t stay here much longer, not with her. Her sweet smile, her disgustingly sweet voice. Out of all the women I’ve seen Logan with, she was the nicest by far. Looks and personality, despite her obvious lack of brain cells. I can’t compete with that. I knew coming here was a bad idea.

I sigh and stuff my pj’s back into my duffel bag along with my wash bag. I mean, she’s just so overwhelmingly nice it’s annoying. I didn’t think she was Logan’s type but hell, come to think of it, I think she’s every guys type. Who wouldn’t want a beautiful woman like her to look after them? And if she can fuck as good as she can cook, then…actually I don’t want to think about that.

“Bye sweetie” I hear her call out followed by the sound of the front door closing. I sigh, but the fact that she’s gone is replaced with anxiety. Now I’m alone with Logan.

I hadn’t imagined for one second that anything like this would happen. I thought it would be simple; I come here, say ‘I love you’ then he’d say he loves me too and we all live happily ever after. I should know happily-ever-after doesn’t exist, not in real life anyway.

“Marie?” he calls from the other side of the door a few minutes after she’s gone, interrupting my lamenting. I quickly get to my feet, look down at myself brushing the creases out of my clothes before opening the door to be greeted by Logan leaning casually against the wood-panelled wall, one hand in his jeans pocket, the other rubbing the back of his neck. He looks kinda bashful, its cute and I can’t help but smile at him. “I er, was wonderin’ what ya wanna do, not that there is much to do around here, I was thinkin’ we could watch a movie or go fer a walk or somethin‘, it’s up to you…” his voice trails off, and I swear his cheeks turn slightly pink for a second when he realises he’s rambling.
I smile “A walk sounds nice, let me get my coat.”

***

I journey was silent, a strange mix of the nice kinda silence and the awkward kind. After walking deep though towering pine trees we come to a lake. I sit down on a fallen tree next to the waters edge and watch as the cold sunshine dances and shimmers on the water. Logan sits down next to me, his arm touching mine making the dying butterflies in my stomach suddenly spring back to life.
“So, what do you think?” he eventually asks, breaking the silence.
“It’s beautiful.” I reply quickly looking at him then back to the lake.
“Sure is darlin’, but it ain’t what I meant.” he says smirking and giving me the eyebrow. “Sarah.”
I hope his sensitive ears can‘t hear the sound of my heart sinking.
“Oh…” Shit, what should I say? “She seems alright.” I shrug trying my best to act casual.
He grunts and nods slightly as he lights his cigar. it’s the first one I’ve seen him smoke since being here. Sarah rolled her eyes every time he so much as reached into his pocket for one yesterday. The smell doesn’t bother me, in fact, I quite like it and it’s not like Logan’s gonna get ill from it like any other person would. He’s not like any other person I’ve ever met…

Butterflies again.

“Only alright?” he asks as he exhales the thick smoke.
“She’s nice…” Too nice.
“But..?”
I shake my head, not sure what he wants me to say.
He takes another drag from his cigar and sighs “Come on, be honest” he says, rolling his head to face me.
I shrug. “Nothin’. She seems really nice, I’m happy for you.” I say, forcing the best smile I can fake onto my face.
“Me too, kid.” he sighs.

***

“Darlin’ I listen…I’m sorry, but I need some time with alone with Marie…I know, I know…C’mon you said yourself…No…No…Okay see ya t‘morrow.”
I hang up before she has the chance to say anythin’ else, she doesn’t seem too happy about it, but that’s just too bad. Marie comes first, no matter what.

So it’s settled. Me an’ Marie, just the two of us. I don’t have anythin’ planned. Maybe go grab somethin’ to eat, go for a drink, or stay in an’ watch a movie, or just talk. It’s up to her. We need some quality time together. The last thing I need is a girlfriend I didn’t even ask for hangin’ around, gettin’ in the way.

Just as I slide my cell phone (that Sarah gave me because I didn‘t have one o’ my own) back into my pocket, Marie emerges from her room. Her hair a little messy, eyes still lookin’ half asleep from her nap, damn she looks beautiful. Then I realise I’m staring. Shit. “Hey” I say casually as I quickly brush my hand through my hair “Sarah’s stayin’ at her sisters place tonight so I was wonderin’ what you wanna do, your choice.” I smile to her then take another swig o’ my beer.

She bites her lip as she shrugs, smiles gently. I can tell that she’s relieved Sarah ain’t gonna be joinin’ us tonight, probably too much for her meetin’ someone new when she ain’t feelin’ too good anyways. She nods an’ her smile widens “I’m sure I can think of something.”

The lush green grass blows gently in the summer breeze, it tickles against my face as I step outside into the warm glow o’ the sun. I lean against the door frame an’ take a refreshin’ mouth full o’ cool crisp beer as I take in the view.
Perfect blue sky. Tall pine trees cover the high mountains far into the distance. I can see the white water as gushes down the waterfall into the perfectly calm blue river beneath it. The sun light dances on its surface, shimmerin‘ with every ripple. Purple flowers weave between the taller grass nearer the trees an’ in the perfect green meadow in front o’ me, there she is. The wind gently blowing her soft white and brunette locks in slow motion makin’ her look like an angel. Her white summer dress hangs just above her knee, arms bare. She smiles as she locks eyes with me, her cheeks flushin’ a little like she knows exactly what I’m thinkin’.

I hear gentle laughter. She turns, kneels to the ground to catch the young boy throwin’ himself into her open arms.
She holds him, sighs an’ smiles to herself as she runs her fingers though his wild black hair, pushes the little white streak out of his eyes with her thumb. He whispers somethin’ in her ear, they both giggle to each other.
“Get over here” she calls playfully.
“Yeah Daddy, come on!” he urges, pullin’ himself outta her embrace. He takes hold o’ her hand, and holds out his other to me.

I smile, place my now empty bottle down on the wooden table an’ make my way over to the two most perfect things I’ve ever seen in all my life.
She smiles the whole time, never taking her eyes off me. My eyes drift from hers down to the boy in the bright red t-shirt. Wide smile, deep green eyes, little white streak. I reach out to take hold o’ his waitin’ hand.

The sky turns black. All the sounds o’ nature cease. The perfect waterfall starts spewing blood, churning the once clear blue water crimson. The lush green grass turns brown, crumbles to dust. The flowers wither and die as all the tall trees burst into flames igniting the sky’s blackness with an orange blaze. They scream, they cry out in desperation, frantically reachin’ out to me as they cling to each other. I try. I try to reach out, save them. I run, but the closer I get, the further away they become. I push with all the strength I have against the unseen force holdin’ me back, every agonizing inch brings me closer to them and just as I reach out, just centimetres from them, they turn to ash.


“Logan, Logan!”
My eyes shoot open as I jolt up. I yell, howl, scream. I gasp for air, I feel like I can’t breath. Cold sweat runnin’ down my shakin’ body. I quickly turn. She’s here, she’s safe, frightened but safe. “It was just a dream Logan.” she reassures me, her voice tremblin’ as she carefully reaches and gently rests her bare hand on my arm. My breath slows, my heart still poundin’. I pull her close and wrap my arms tightly around her, breathe in her scent as I sigh in relief. She’s here, it’s alright. It was just that dream again…

***

It was awfully sweet of Logan to get rid of Sarah last night. I think he guessed I felt uncomfortable around her, he has a weird ability to know everything I feel…well apart from one thing. Which is a good thing, I mean, I wouldn’t want him finding out about my feelings for him, not from him using his senses anyway.
We went to the nearest town a few miles away to get some supplies for out night in together. The small store was just about to close when we got there but the woman behind the counter let us in anyway. Pizza, popcorn, some beers, cigars for Logan and a dvd. Dawn of the Dead, my choice.

I like horror movies and it gave me an excuse to huddle up to Logan in the scary parts. He laughed when I let out a little yelp “Thought you liked these kinda movies” he smirked putting his arm around me. We stayed on the sofa like that for most of the night, it felt so natural, no awkwardness. Just me and Logan cuddled up in front of the t.v. me in my pajamas, him in his jeans and wifebeater.

My eyes flickered open a little as he was carrying me to bed. But I didn’t say anything, just closed my eyes again. I felt him gently lower me onto the soft mattress and pull the covers over me. Then I felt him sink down next to me. I opened my eyes, blinked slowly into the darkness. I was in his room, his bed laying next to him. “Get some sleep darlin’” he lulled, his voice low, rough and soothing.

I was woken by him twitching and mumbling in his sleep which then turned into violent thrashing and growling. I tried shaking him, calling his name to wake him up, but it didn’t work. I watched helplessly as he twisted and turned around under the covers. Then after what seemed like an eternity, he woke up howling, sweat dripping from his body. I’d seen him having nightmares before, I knew what they were like, I’d had them myself. Wars, blood, fighting, a tank of water, needles, people wearing masks. But I’d never seen him like this, he looked terrified. He turned to me, grabbed hold of me, held me close. Whatever he’d dreamed about, it must be really bad to make him, the fearless Wolverine, so scared.

I make my way into the kitchen after my shower, the smell of bacon and eggs drawing me in. “Mornin’” Logan grunts as he cracks another egg into the hot frying pan.
“Good morning” I reply sheepishly “Did you need a hand?”
He shakes his head still not looking at me, his jaw tensing a little. I take a seat at the table, knives and forks already laid out, a glass with a carton of orange juice sitting next to it and a mug of freshly made coffee.
“Kid,” he says after a long silence “I’m sorry about last night, didn’t mean to scare ya”
“Its okay, I understand” I nod quickly.
He turns and smiles weakly at me before turning back to place the bacon and eggs onto the two plates next to the cooker along with some toast. It’s funny that everyone thinks of Logan as a big mean killing machine, the kinda guy you don’t ever want to meet down an alley way on a dark night. But they don’t see the side of him that I do, the nice, gentle, caring side of him. And besides I think my idea of what would happen down that alley is much different to everyone else’s.
“You ok kid?” he asks looking a little concerned as he walks over to the table with a plate in either hand.
“Yeah, I’m fine” I reply quickly when I realise I’ve been staring at him. Man, I gotta stop doing that.

“So, did you wanna talk about your dream?” I ask when we’ve both cleared our plates.
He shakes his head, eyebrows twisting into a frown “Nah, it’s stupid.” he says leaning back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest.
“Well, it can’t be that stupid. You were scared half to death -”
He shoots me a look from across the table, his nostrils flaring slightly, hands clenching a little “I said, I don’t wanna talk about it, so just drop it okay?”
“Sorry” I say, my eyes dropping to the floor. Why did I have to push him for an answer. I’m such an idiot.
He sighs “Marie, I really don‘t want to even think about it.” I look up at him, his features have softened. He stands up and walks around to me, lifts my chin with his index finger so I’m looking straight into his eyes. “It was just a dream, okay?” he whispers to me, although it sounds more like he’s reassuring himself.

After doing the washing up and putting everything away into their proper places Logan goes for a shower leaving me to my on devices for a while. I flop down onto the leather sofa and pull my cell phone out of my jeans pocket. I look at the black screen wondering if it would be a wise idea to turn it on. I put if off when I left the mansion not wanting to be bombarded with calls and texts from Bobby or anyone else for that matter.

I hit the on button and wait for my phone to come to life for the first time in nearly a week. 36 missed calls. 17 texts. I scroll though the calls first, nine from Bobby, a couple from Ororo, a few from Pete and the rest from Jubes. I then open up the menu to read my text messages. Two from Bobby that start with the words “I’m sorry I can explain” I don’t bother reading those. How can he even begin to think he can worm his way out of what he did?

Some are from Ororo and Pete that read along the lines of “Are you alright?” and “Where are you?” A, No I’m not alright. And B, I don’t have to tell you.
The ones from Jubes say pretty much the same thing but the last one make me smile “Ok, so I’m guessing you’re with Wolvie, so you must be alright. Just call me to let me know you‘re still alive, ok? Xxx”. I scroll though the options menu and select ‘return call’.

The phone rings twice before I’m greeted with Jubilee’s screams “Roguey!! Where are you? Are you alright? Please tell me you’re alright. When are you coming back?” I hold the phone away from my ear until she calms down and stops shrieking. “Sorry, sorry, I’ll start again. How are you? Or is that a stupid question?”

I grin a little “I’m alright. I guess the whole mansion knows what happened by now, hu? I just needed to get away clear my head, you know.”

“Yeah, Pete is furious with Bobby for hurting you. And Kitty, he’s not even looking at her. Anyway enough about that. Where are you?”

At this point I decide it might be wise to go stand outside while I talk to my loud friend. Logan is bound to hear her yelling down the other end of the phone so I quickly and make my way outside.

“Roguey? Rogue??” she calls from the other end of the phone.

“Yeah I’m here,” I sigh as I walk out into the cold morning sun.

“So where are you?” she asks again with a sense of urgency in her voice.

“With Logan.” I say carefully as I watch the calm river in the distance.

I pull the phone away from my ear as she shrieks again “Ohh I knew it! I haven’t heard from him in ages, how is he? ”

“Alright,” I smile, looking over my shoulder to make sure he hasn’t creeped up on me. “He hasn’t really changed much…he has a girlfriend now.” I sigh

“WHAT? Did you just say Wolvie and a girlfriend??”

I don’t say anything. I can’t in fear of bursting into tears.

“Oh Roguey,” she sighs sympathetically.

“It doesn’t matter. She’s nice. Busty, blonde…good cook. I’m happy for him.” I say, my heart sinking further and further down as I say those words.


“Hmm, somehow I don‘t believe that.” she says suspiciously.

“What? I don’t like him in that way if that’s what you mean! I mean he’s nice, sure he’s nice, who doesn’t think that? But I do not have a crush on him Jubilee.”

She laughs “Who said anything about a crush? Wait…that must mean you do like him! You got it bad for the Wolverine!” she sings childishly from the other end of the phone.

I hear footsteps from inside the cabin nearing the door “I have to go, I‘ll phone you later or something.” I say over her infantile song “And don’t you dare say anything I mean it Jubes!” I hiss quietly and hang up before she has a chance to say any more.

“Who was that?” Logan asks as he opens the cabin door, the sound of his voice making me jump.

“Jubes. Just thought I’d giver her a call, let her know I’m still alive.” I flash him a smile as my eyes quickly looking him up and down. I’ve never seen a man that looks as good in a plaid shirt as him. Damn butterflies again. I’m lucky he isn’t a telepath or I’d of been caught out long ago.

***

My cell rings. I look at the number flashing on the screen I recognise it, but I’m not sure where from.
“Yeah?” I grunt when I decide to answer the call.

“Finally! I’ve been trying all these numbers I was about to give up!”

“Woah, wait Yella’, how did you get my number?”

“The mansion’s call data base of course! You called a few weeks ago so I searched for your number. Pete’s a really good at hacking, did you know that? I didn’t.” her voice chimes. “What’s this I hear about a girlfriend?”

“Rogue told you about that, hu? That the reason you called?” I ask, gettin’ frustrated. She’s a nice girl and a good friend don’t get me wrong, but Jubilee has a tendency to talk shit and not get straight to the point.

“Yeah, and no. Rogue seemed a little upset when she told me.”

“Really?” I ask. I thought Marie was ’happy for me’, why would she be upset?

“Yes Wolvie, really. It seems that your feelings for her a mutual.”

“She said that?” I ask as a smile starts spreadin’ across my face. Jubilee found out about my feelin’s for Marie a while ago and swore to secrecy on pain o’ death that she’d never mention it. For a loud mouthed girl, she kept my secret well hidden.

“Well not exactly, but she might as well have. I told you she liked before but you didn’t listen! See, I’m just always right aren’t I?” I can imagine the smug look on her face as she says this.

“So, er…wh-what should I do?” I stammer like an idiot as I smile like a loon.

“Take her for dinner, wine and dine the girl.” she giggles “I can’t imagine you doing that actually. Just, I don’t know, do something romantic, buy her flowers or write her a poem. I’m sure you can think of something. And make sure you get rid of that blonde thing of yours first!”

“Okay, but you’re sure right? Really really sure?”

“For heaven’s sake Wolvie! YES! So hurry the fuck up and tell her you love her before it’s too late! Now! Go, go, go!” she shouts then the phone goes dead.

***

Logan comes swaggering back into the living room “I er, I’ll be back in just a second.” he practically purrs, grinning at me then disappears into his bedroom. He stays in there for a few minutes. I hear the wardrobe opening followed by banging and crashing. What the hell is he doing in there? He swings the wooden door open and moves quickly towards the front door with a black case in his hand. “I’ll be back in a little while, got somethin’ I need to sort out.” he tells me. His face is serious, hard now. I think it’s probably best I don’t ask where he’s going or what’s in the suitcase as he snatches the keys to his truck from their resting place on the wooden dresser. He grabs his leather jacket and closes the door behind him leaving me on my own. Strange, very strange.

I put my foot down harder on the gas pushin’ my truck to go as fast as it can. Jubilee’s words ricochetin’ just like a bullet in my head. Part of me doubts her, but she’s my friend, she’d never lie to me especially ‘bout somethin’ like this. Of course not. And now I have to know. I can’t just ignore it, pretend it ain’t happenin’ an’ run away from my problems.

Damn, how come I never noticed this before? Now when I think of it, Marie does act kinda strange around me sometimes. And yesterday, all the googly-eye staring an’ blushin’. And I noticed the sound o’ her heart racin’ sometimes but I always put that down to somethin’ else, I never imagined it was me makin’ all those things happen.

What should I do? Do I buy her flowers or write a poem like Yella suggested? Well words were never my forte, so that’s a definite no to the poetry. Flowers, hmm…seems a little too cliché. Dinner? I ain’t too sure about the ‘wine’ part, but the ‘dine’ seems alright. I ain’t much of a cook so I guess I’ll have to take her out some place. No trashy diners though, it has to be somewhere nice. Jeez I don’t have a clue, I’ve never done anythin’ like this before.

How do I tell her? “Hey darlin’ by the way, I love ya?” No that’s no good. God dammit this isn’t goin’ to work. Its not like I find it hard to get women, but this is Marie. My Girl. It has to mean somethin’, be special, show her I’m serious, that she ain’t gonna be just another notch on my bedpost. Bed…I can’t wait to get her in my bed tonight, fuck her brains out- No, no. No fuckin’. The animal in me lets out a disappointed growl. Too bad mister, strictly no fuckin‘. If she does get in my bed tonight, an’ god willin’ she will, we will make love.

I reach my destination in fifteen minutes, that’s a new record, it usually takes just over half an hour to get to this town. I pull into the trailer park. Past all the old dingy trailers, their once white exteriors now an off yellow colour, mould growin’ on most o’ ’em. I stop when I get to the one with tacky pink curtains. The trailer door opens as I climb out o’ my truck. She’s standin’ there in a low-cut pink blouse, tight jeans that hug all the wrong places, smilin’. Sickenin’ really. What was I thinkin’?

“Hey, I wasn’t expecting you, what a nice surprise.” She beams bearing her yellowin’ teeth to me, makin’ all the wrinkles in her face stand out like gapin’ crevasses. What the hell was I thinkin‘?

“Yeah well, you won’t be seein’ me anymore.”

“Wha-what do you mean baby?” she asks frownin’ at me, lookin’ at me like she don‘t understand a word I‘m sayin‘.
I pull the black case outta the cab o’ the truck and sling it over to her, splashin’ her white jeans with muddy water as it lands in a puddle.

“I don’t understand. Please Honey don’t do this, I love you” she begs, makin’ my stomach churn.

“Well,” I say harshly as I turn to get back into my truck “I don’t love you.”

“It’s her isn’t it? That weirdo that turned up the other day! I knew it!” she screeches at me, throwin’ her hands in the air.

I turn on my heel when she says this and march right over to her makin’ her cower in my shadow. “Don’t you ever talk about her like that again.” I growl. I climb back into my truck and pull away leavin’ her standin’ there, mouth hangin’ open.

***

I got back to the cabin in record time too. Marie was sittin’ there patiently, just watchin’ t.v. I walked in an’ casually sat down next to her.
“Where did you go?” she asked curiously lookin‘ up at me with those big emerald eyes o‘ hers, fiddling with the ends o’ her hair.

“Never you mind darlin’” I grined.
She raised her eyebrows at me but didn’t ask anymore questions.

**

The leaves crunch under our feet as we walk side by side. She leads the way followin’ where her curiosity takes her. We emerge from the trees at the river bank. I stand an’ watch as she walks up to the waters edge and peers in. She takes a few careful steps closer an’ leans forward to get a better look into the crystal clear river.

A gentle breeze blows her silky hair as she turns around, smilin’ at me. The blue water behind her suddenly flashes red like in my dream.
“Logan?” she repeats, only I hear her this time, her voice suddenly snappin’ the landscape back to its original colours. ”Are you alright?” she asks walkin’ over to me lookin’ concerned.

“I’m fine. Just tired.” I lie.

We sit on the river bank for a while, her eyes drift around taking in all o’ natures beauty.

“How about we go to Tony‘s tonight?” she asks as we watch the water.

I raise an eyebrow at her “Well if you wanna go out for dinner then don’t you wanna go somewhere…nicer?” I try to persuade her.

She sighs “Nah. Bobby used to always take me to fancy restaurants, I never liked them but I didn‘t have the heart to tell him at the time. Anyway sugar,” she continues, her lips curlin’ into a playful smile “it’s Friday, Tony’s will be fun. A steak, few beers, couple of rounds of pool. Come on, what do you say?”

“You had me at ‘sugar’, darlin’” I wink.

***

We went, we ate steak, had a few beers and played pool just like she wanted. Of course I let her win a few times, what kinda gentleman would I be if I didn‘t? And now we’re back at the cabin.

“Sarah’s still not back” Marie says curiously as she takes a seat on the sofa.

I grin as I being puttin’ wood into the fireplace “Well, she had to leave.”

“Oh, right.” she furrows her brow a little. She watches as I strike a match an’ place it amongst the pile of wood. “You know, its weird not having my mutation anymore.” she muses, smilin’ to herself as she looks down at her bare arms. “No more worries.”

“Did you tell Jubilee?”

“No. I don’t really want the whole school finding out about it. They already know enough about my personal life as it is.” she says rolling her eyes obviously referrin‘ to Bobby.

“Well, don’t you worry about that. His loss. If he couldn‘t see past your mutation the he obviously didn‘t deserve ya.” I sigh as I sink down next to her on the sofa. “You know darlin’,” I say, sweepin’ a lock of white hair out of her eyes, lettin’my fingers run down her cheek “I’d of had you anyway, mutation or not.”

Her eyes widen at my words, lips part slightly in astonishment as she stares at me. I can smell the mix o’ emotions comin’ from her but I’m not quite sure what it means. I take hold of her tremblin’ hand as I lean closer an’ look deep into her eyes “I love you Marie. I always have.”

I can’t help but smile to myself as I gently stoke the hair on his bare chest and think of last night. I thought I’d misheard what Logan said when he told me he loved me. Me. Sure he’s over protective sometimes and we were close, but I thought he was just looking out for me, being nice. I didn’t ever think he thought of me in that way.

It wasn’t exactly how I imagined it, he was gentler than I thought he would be. I trembled the whole time, my stomach twisting into knots. Nervous because I’d never done or felt anything like that before and the fact it was Logan doing all those things to me. The way his lips touched mine, the way he caressed every inch of my body. The touch of his hands and tongue taking me to places I’d only ever dreamed of going to sending my heart into overdrive. He’s the only man I ever wanted to be so intimate with. Nobody else in the whole wide world makes me feel this way.
It was perfect.

“Mornin’ darlin’” he grins as he strokes my hair, his voice low and raspy. I smile shyly back at him and feel my cheeks turning slightly pink. He smirks and wraps his muscular arms around me holding me close. I listen to the soft beat of his heart as we lay peacefully together on the leather sofa, our clothes strewn around the room. He looks over to where my gaze is drifting and grins “Come on darlin’, lets go for a shower.”


***

“I think I’m ready.” I nod to myself and purse my lips together.

Logan raises an eyebrow as he takes another drag from his cigar, the smoke dancing in the cool afternoon breeze. “Ready for what?”

“To go back to the mansion. I have classes to teach on Monday, if the Professor will let me stay now that is.” I hadn’t really thought about it, but would I still have a home and a job now that I had the cure? It’s the only place I ever truly thought of as ‘home’ where I’d been accepted for who and what I was, made friends with other people just like me. Sure I’d have to face Bobby and Kitty, but I’d have to do that sooner or later anyway, and it would be easier with Logan by my side.

Logan smiles gently “You’re a great teacher an’ Chuck knows that. Of course he’ll have ya back. And if he don’t then he’s got me to deal with.” he grins as the smoke pours out of his mouth. He places his arm around my waist and gently strokes the fabric of my black and white shirt. I hope he’s right about the Professor…

***

“Really, again?” I giggle as his lips travel down my neck sending shivers down my spine. He gently pushes me down onto his bed, places his hands so they’re resting either side of my head, pinning me beneath him.

He pulls away and looks deep into my eyes “You know I meant what I said yesterday, right? I know it wasn’t exactly romantic, but I couldn’t help it, seein’ you sittin’ there lookin’ so damn beautiful…””

“I know, I love you too Logan.” he’s so cute when he’s worried.

He mirrors my smile and plants another kiss onto my lips. “Come on we better start packin’, it’s a long trip back.”

I get up and grab my duffel back and place the pile of neatly folded clothes into it. I start go get a weird feeling in my stomach, like the kind I used to get when I was younger on the last day of summer, knowing that the next day it was back to the dreary normality of everyday life. Although we need to go back, part of me wishes we could stay here in our cosy retreat. But as long as I’m with Logan, it doesn’t really matter where we are.

After I’ve packed all my belongings back into my bag , I take my luggage outside and place it in Logan’s truck. Then I remember.
“Logan, what about my car?” I ask as I step back into the cabin and let the door shut behind myself.

“What do you mean?” he calls out from the kitchen, putting his left over bottles of beer back into their cardboard box. He’s obviously forgotten too.

“My car is here and your truck. I can’t just leave it here and I don’t really want to drive all the way back on my own.” It was scary enough driving here going up all the steep twisting roads in the dark, coming back down them would be even worse.

He places the bottle in his hand down onto the table and pulls his cell phone out of his pocket. “Don’t worry, I know what to do.”

***

Ororo phones us to say she’s near so we drive down to an old unused military training camp to meet the Blackbird, I follow Logan in my car. My biggest worry about going back is everyone’s reaction to my decision to get the cure. Logan told me that it was none of their business anyway, but still I worry that some won’t understand that I had to do this, that they will think I did it out shame for what I was. But like Logan said, it’s nothing to do with them. As for Bobby, he’ll get what’s coming to him if Logan get’s his way.

The Blackbird is ready and waiting when we get there, doors of the cargo hull open in the for us to drive our cars in. When they’re secured we make our way up to the flight deck where we’re greeted by Storm.

“Good to see you Logan. Rogue,” she smiles sympathetically when she turns to me and places her arms around me. “I’m glad you’re safe.”

***

It’s dark by the time we make it back to the mansion, Marie left her gloves and coat on the whole time, so I didn’t mention anything to ‘Ro, not that she asked many questions anyway.

I can hear all the usual sounds of laughter and nonsensical teenage babblin’ from the upper levels and rec room just like any typical Saturday night at the school. “I need to go see the Professor.” Marie tells me nervously as we make our way thought the clean empty corridors. She hesitates before askin’ “Can you come with me?”

We approach the door to Chuck’s office, the sound of him and Cyke discussin’ some borin’ test scores from inside the room. Marie gently taps the door before openin’ it slowly with a shakin’ hand.

“Rogue, I’m glad you’re back.” Chuck smiles to her from behind his desk as we walk in, Scott lookin’ up from the papers to the direction of the door.

“So you found her then Logan?” He questions bitterly. I’m glad Scooter is so happy to see me.

“Kinda the other way ’round.” I grunt back, foldin’ my arms across my chest as I lean against an old dust-filled bookcase.

Scott says nothin’ just stands there lookin’ at me from behind those stupid red glasses o’ his. Looks like he still thinks too much o’ himself, some things never change here.

“I trust you’re feeling better now?” Charles asks placin‘ his pen down next to the pile o‘ neatly stacked papers on his mahogany desk.

Marie shifts uncomfortably, the Professor and Scott both watchin’ her now “Well, actually Professor…there’s something I need to tell you.”

“You did what?” Scott scowls at me.

“Now Scott, there is no need for any of that.” the Professor cautions him as Logan begins to growl his own warning.

“Come on Scott you must know how it feels a little bit, you have to wear them dumb glasses all the time.” I retaliate “But at least you can touch people without killing them.”

“So that’s why you did it? Because of Bobby?” he scoffs.

I take a deep annoyed breath “No. I shouldn’t have to explain my reasons to you.” He’s seriously pissing me off, standing there like he knows what’s right and wrong for me. No wonder Logan can’t stand him.

“Scott, I think it might be best if you leave.” the Professor says closing his eyes. Scott opens his mouth in protest but is quickly quieten by Charles raising his hand signalling him to say no more. Scott glares at Logan who is now laughing quietly to himself as he sulks out of the room like a scolded child. “You too Logan.” The Professor adds stifling Logan’s sniggers.

“Chuck that’s bull sh-”

“Logan.” the professor says giving him a stern look of warning.

Logan mutters something under his breath as he stomps toward the door, Scott is standing in the corridor with a smug look on his face. I won’t be surprised if Logan punches him.

The Professor rolls his eyes as the door slams shut us alone to talk.

“I’m sure you have your reasons for this decision, I won’t ask what they are. You’re a bright, intelligent young lady, Rogue and it wouldn’t be right for me to send you away now you no longer have a mutation like everyone else here at the school. Of course it may affect your position in the X-men that you no longer possess any powers, but you’re welcome to carry on with your training and eventually teach here, if you want to that is. You’re a valued member of the team.”

I frown a little not sure if he is actually saying the words I’m hearing. “Really?” I ask as a smile creeps onto my lips. He nods. I sigh in relief “Thank you so much Professor, I won’t let you down, I promise!”

I pick my bag up and leave the Professor to continue with his paperwork.

Logan is waiting for me outside “See, told ya Chuck would be alright.” He smiles when he sees the look on my face. He takes my bag for me and carries it along with his own one up the wooden stairs to the staff quarters. I hope we don’t bump into either Bobby or Kitty on the way, I don’t want Logan kicking off after being back for less than an hour. Thankfully we don’t.

Logan tosses his bag into his room letting it thud to the blue carpeted floor and follows me into my room across the hall. I drop my bag onto the chair by my desk and pull off my coat and gloves. Logan grins at me, his eyes dark and smouldering as they travel up and down my body. I step closer to him and wrap my arms around his neck as he wraps his around my waist. His warm breath tickles my lips as he lingers close to mine, moving slowly closer teasing me with every second that ticks by. I gasp as he pushes his lips firmly onto mine making my heart skip a beat. He slowly runs one hand up my back into my hair, sliding his tongue into my mouth. I moan gently as I start tugging at his leather jacket. He pulls it off, lets it drop to the ground and picks me up. I wrap my legs around his waist as he carries me over to my bed, his mouth travelling down my neck making my whole body ache for him. He lays me down onto the purple sheets and continues kissing further down my neck as he begins to unbutton my shirt, I feel him growing.

He stops when he gets to the third button, his eyes narrowing towards the door.
“I think you have a visitor on the way.” he sighs disappointedly and gets up from my bed. I sit up and sigh too, now he’s got me all hot and bothered and there’s nothing I can do about it, yet anyway. He opens the door just as Jubilee reaches for the handle making her stumble forwards slightly.

“Oh, hi Wolvie,” she grins to Logan raising her eyebrows, like she knows what we were doing a few minutes before he’d heard her approaching.

“I think I’ll leave you ladies to it.” he tells me picking up his jacket, giving me a sly wink when Jubilee isn’t looking as he leaves my room.

“Roguey, I missed you so much!” Jubes squeals as she throws her arms around me collapsing onto the bed next to me. Then she jolts back staring at my arms “Woah wait! You…I didn’t…Your skin, what the hell?”

I smile nervously “I got the cure.” I tell her slowly. I brace myself for the worst, I know Jubilee won’t criticise me but still, it’s better to be prepared for the worst outcome. If I’ve learnt anything in the past week it’s that you can know someone for years but never truly know exactly who they are.

“What? When? Why?” she asks all at once. The look on her face isn’t one of disappointment or disapproval, just plain curiosity.

“Last week when I left, that’s where I went. And no, before you ask I didn’t do it for Bobby. I’d been thinking about it for years Jubes. I went there once a few years ago but only got as far as the door, I wasn’t sure if it was what I wanted. But now I know it’s the best decision I’ve ever made.” I smile to my friend.

“As long as you’re happy then that’s all that matters.” She smiles back and wraps her arms around me again. “It’s gonna take some getting used to though.” she laughs as she loosens her grip “So, what was Wolvie doing here, Chica?”

I shrug. Should I tell her or not? I hadn’t spoke to Logan about telling people about our relationship yet.

“Tell me!” she urges squeezing my bare hand.

“Just helping me with my stuff” I lie, but I don‘t fool her.

“Oh right. But I’d like the non-bullshit version now please?” she says keeping a deadly serious face, for all of five seconds.

I bite my lip. “Okay I’ll tell you just don’t go saying it to anyone else alright?”

“Sure thing, Chica” she nods, flicking her short black fringe our of her eyes.

***

I walk down the stairs and wood-floored corridors to have a cigar outside, calm myself down. Why couldn’t Jubes wait till tomorrow? We should o’ waited ‘til tomorrow to come back, then we’d at least have one more night together with no interruptions.

As I get to the last corner I stop. I can smell him, hear him in the kitchen. I grin to myself, shovin’ my cigar and lighter back into my jacket.

I change my direction and casually walk into the brightly lit kitchen. Icehole’s mouth drops open when he sees me, almost droppin’ the empty glass in his hand, the smell o’ terror fillin’ up the room makin‘ it smells like he literally just shit his pants.

“Hi Logan,” he says trying his best to act calm “didn’t know you were back.”
I’d don’t fool me, I can hear his heart racin’, threatenin’ to burst outta his chest at any second. I stand in the door way, fold my arms and lean against the frame blockin’ his only escape route. He’s gonna pay for what he did to Marie, but it’s fun to watch him squirm first.

“D-did you want a drink?” he asks nervously, to which I shake my head. Which part o’ his stupid face should I punch first, nose or jaw? I should I brake one leg or both? Maybe I should break them both along with his arms.

“Oh, um, okay.” he says placin’ the glass into the skin as he steps towards the door. I don’t move.

“Um, excuse me.” he whimpers starin’ at his feet. He’s probably guessed by now what’s comin’.

“What was that?” I ask leanin’ closer to him, makin’ him step back.

“Excuse me please.” he says louder, his voice shakin’ as his terrified eyes meet mine.

“Well, you see Bobby,” I grin darkly at him “I’m not sure I can excuse you.” His face drops, bottom lip begins to quiver makin’ him instantly look like he wants so cry out for his mommy. I slowly walk closer to him, makin’ him shrink with every step I take. “I know what you did-”

“I’m sorry!” he cries holdin’ his arms up to shield his face. I laugh at his feeble attempt to make me feel sorry for him, make me think he’s leant his lesson. He slowly lowers his arms, his eyes fixed on me, his cheeks turnin’ red with embarrassment from his outburst.

In one swift move I wrap my right hand around his scrawny neck and slam him against the wall, my left hand drawn back balled into a fist. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t tear your head off.” I growl though my gritted teeth, lettin’ my claws slide out slowly.

He looks from me to the adamantium blades that are just centimetres from his face. I tighten my grip on his throat. “Please!” he gasps, his face turnin’ a shade o’ purple as he struggles for breath, tears now wellin’ up in his eyes. “Please!” he begs again. The room is suddenly filled with a distinct scent that is often found down many dark alleys. I look down to see a water stain spreadin’ on his trousers.

“That’s disgusting.” I hiss at him as he begins to cry.

“Logan!”

I turn around to see Storm along with half o’ the school, includin’ Marie, staring into the kitchen. I turn back to Bobby, grip his throat tighter and growl “Don’t you ever go anywhere near Rogue again.” before lettin’ him go. He falls to the ground into the yellow puddle at his feet, holdin’ his neck, gaspin’ for air as the colour slowly returns to his almost blue face.

I march out o’ the kitchen. No one rushes over to help Bobby, I actually hear a few sniggers from the audience. I smirk to myself as Marie runs up beside me trying to stifle her laughter. Okay, I didn’t break any of his bones, but the humiliation he’ll suffer for pissin’ his pants in front o’ most o’ the students is much worse. Besides, I can ’accidentally’ brake somethin’ in the danger room any time.

We both stand with our ears pressed firmly to the door of the Professors office, listening to the voices that are gradually raising. Jubilee was squealing about Logan finally revealing his feelings for me when we’d heard one of the students running to Ororo’s room babbling something about ‘Mr.Logan’ and ‘Mr.Drake’ in the kitchen, so we followed. We arrived just in time to see Bobby wetting himself in fright, which was, in one word, priceless.

“I hardly touched him!” Logan’s yells can be heard from behind the door.

“Logan, you’d say you’d hardly touched someone if they had every bone in their body broken and their guts ripped out!” Scott’s voice shouts back. He was probably right but Logan could have done a lot worse to Bobby, a lot worse.

Jubilee rolls her eyes and shakes her finger mocking the usual thing Scott did when he was giving someone a lecture. I giggle, but I know Logan could be in serious trouble for what he did, even if it wasn‘t ‘bad‘ by his standards.

Just when we stop giggling, Bobby comes walking around the corner, head hanging in shame, with a clean pair of jeans on. Which sends us into fits of giggles again.

“Shut up!” he glares at us “I didn’t…wet myself!” he hisses as his cheeks turn bright red.

“What happened then? Bit of ice melt down your pants?” Jubilee taunts sticking her bottom lip out.

“Fuck you,” he sneers, then turns to me “It’s none of that psychopaths business anyway. I bet you were fucking him behind my back. Oh wait, that’s right, you couldn‘t even if you wanted to.”

How dare he! I step forward ready to slap the smug grin off his face when the wooden door opens.

“Bobby.” Scott says, gesturing him to come in. I swear he’s trying to hide the smirk on his face. “Girls, I think you should leave now.”

“Bu-”

“Jubilee.” he says sternly.

She frowns at him and lets out a heavy sigh. “Come on, Chica.” She links arms with me as we walk away and head back to my room.

***

I wait anxiously for Logan to come back, the worry growing with every moment that passes.

“So, did he take you to dinner? Get you flowers?” Jubilee asks inquisitively.

“No, he just…said it.”

“But I told him…” she says to herself a little louder than she meant to.

“What do you mean you ‘told him’?”

“Well,” she begins with a guilty look on her face “after you called I found his number, Pete helped me, and I phoned him. I had to do something, Chica! I couldn’t stand idly by when I knew that two people, who obviously were meant to be together, did nothing about it! Just call me Cupid.” she grins.

“You knew?” I frown. How did she know?

“I found out, completely by accident might I add, and Wolvie made me swear I’d never tell. He’s a scary guy when he’s mad you know, I wouldn’t like to get on the wrong side of him.”

I look at my friend confused “Accident?”

“I went to the kitchen to get a snack one night and he was there drowning his sorrows and we got talking and well, he didn’t come straight out and say it but he might as well of had it tattooed on his forehead. Then he went all growly ‘If you dare say anything then you’re dead meat, blah blah blah’ you know how he is. And I was going to tell you but he turned up every time and gave me the glare of death.” She says doing her best ’angry Logan’ face.

I can’t help but laugh. Yeah I’m a little annoyed that she didn’t tell me, but I understand why she didn’t. And neither of them knew I felt the same way anyway.

“So, did you do it?” she asks, grinning like a Cheshire cat. I feel my cheeks instantly begin to burn, I must be turning scarlet. She squeals and bounces up and down grabbing my hands. “So what was it like?”

I shift uncomfortably, I know she’s my friend but I don’t really want to tell her all the intimate details, those things are personal between me and Logan.

“Perfect.” I smile bashfully just as Logan opens my door. Great, he probably heard all of that.

He looks seriously pissed off. I raise my eyebrows questioningly to him.

“Verbal warning.” he grunts as he begins to pace up and down. “Assaulting a member of staff. Fuckin’ prick is hardly a member of staff, he just runs around with his head up Scooters ass all day. It’s not like I hurt him, maybe hurt his ego, but he wasn’t fuckin’ hurt.”

Jubilee looks at me awkwardly as she stands up “I’m gonna go now, see you in the morning. Night Wolvie.” she smiles nervously as she makes a quick exit from my room.

Logan sighs as he sinks down next to me and holds his head in his hands.

“Don’t worry,” I gently caress his shoulder “It’ll be alright.”

He shakes his head “I don’t care about that. If I’d known I’d only get a stupid warning I would of done a lot more than make him piss his pants.”


***

The small dining hall buzzes with the sound of students chattering away, probably discussing last nights events over their breakfast. Toast and cereal are the only things on the menu today like all Sundays so no one has to wake up early to cook breakfast. Logan decides to hit the danger room for a while to avoid all the peering eyes and gossiping mouths. I don’t mind, it will give me a chance to catch up with Jubes and Pete.

The noise becomes louder as I approach the room. I listen to the muddled voices trying to figure out what exactly is being said but my hearing hasn’t been the same since getting the cure, it‘s better than most average humans, but not the same as it was. I sigh heavily to myself as I open the door, preparing myself for what’s about to happen.

Everyone begins to fall silent, heads turning in my direction. They all know what happened, even the slightest rumor spreads like a wildfire here.

Bobby and Kitty who are sitting alone in the far desolate corner brooding turn to look out of the corner of their eyes. Bobby glares at me shaking his head while Kitty’s remorseful gaze drops back down to her untouched toast.

There aren’t many people in the room, no members of staff, (except myself, Pete and Bobby, who aren‘t official teachers yet, we‘re still in training) but there are enough pairs of staring eyes to make me feel uncomfortable, I never did like being the centre of attention
“Where are her gloves?” a whisper seems to echo out through the room. Making everyone’s eyes drop to see for themselves.

The stares continue as I make my way over to sit with Jubilee and Piotr who are have already begun eating their breakfast. A pile of buttered toast and a jar of strawberry jam sit in the middle of the table with a plate and a glass of water waiting for me.

“Good morning” Jubilee grins. Pete smiles but I can see the hurt in his eyes, he really liked Kitty. I guess we’ve both been affected by what they did. I smile back ignoring the puzzled looks as I take a seat next to her.
“I told Pete. Sorry” Jubilee confesses. I guessed she probably would but I don’t mind, Pete is a good friend, trustworthy and honest.

We eat our toast, conversation sparse and uncomfortable under the watchful eyes of everyone in the room. We stay at our table as most of the students leave, waiting for them to return to their dorms to avoid all the interrogations. Pete tells me it’s the second time in a week he has ventured into the dining hall .“Having to teach classes is bad enough without having them all staring when I’m trying to sit in peace.” he sighs.

“So, what’s it like?” Pete asks pointing to my hands.

“Weird.” I smile, laughing lightly “I’m still not used to it myself. I picked my gloves up this morning about to put them on when I remembered I don’t need to anymore.” I think I’ll throw them all away today.

Then I suddenly realise how quiet the room is.

“You got the cure?” Bobby’s asks turning to me, the look on his face matching the guilt, upset and anger in his face. He gets up from his chair and takes two tiny steps towards me. He’s not angry at me, he’s angry at himself. I bet he thinks…

“I didn’t do it for you.” I quickly correct him. He frowns at me looking even more confused. I laugh at his stupidity, can’t help it. “You really think I went to get the cure for you after what you did?"

His eyes narrow “You got it before and didn’t tell me, didn‘t you? I knew it! You were with him weren‘t you, that’s why you didn‘t want to touch me! And you say this is all my fault, that you‘re the victim when you were fucking Logan behind my back! No wonder you were so close to him, acted weird every time he left, pined for him like the dog you are!”

My fist makes contact with his face sending him stumbling back as an instant gush of red liquid pours out of his nostrils. The onlookers gasp and stare in awe, even I didn’t know I could punch that hard. “Don’t you ever speak to me like that again!” I hiss, turn on my heel and march out.

I slam the door shut and throw myself onto my bed, my hands shaking from the adrenaline rush. The feeling of my fist ploughing into Bobby’s face and seeing the blood pouring out of his nose was extremely satisfying. I’m not usually a violent person, but he deserved it. How dare he speak to me the way he did, accuse me when he was the one being unfaithful, making himself look like the victim. I’m starting to think coming back here was a bad idea. Logan got a warning yesterday and I’m probably going to end up with one today, less than 24 hours apart. I bet he’s gone running to Scott right now. I don’t care if he does, he was asking for it.

There’s a knock at my door, I reluctantly get up to answer it. It’s either Jubilee, Pete or Scott. I push the handle down and pull my door open.

“Rogue, I’m sorry.” I don’t bother saying anything to him, I don’t want to hear another word he has to say. I push the door shut, but he puts his foot in the way. “Rogue please, listen to me.” he pleads.

I look at him. There are a few specks of blood on his white t-shirt. His nose has stopped bleeding now, but he has a huge red mark under his eye which will probably turn into a bruise, at least I hope it will. I don’t know why I bother, but I let him in.

I fold my arms as he walks in, shutting the door behind himself. “Hurry up, I haven’t got all day.” I snap at him. I wonder what lame excuses and insults he’s going to throw at me this time.

“Rogue, please…” he hesitates “Please, I won’t tell the Professor about this if you don‘t.”

So that’s why he came here to save his own ass.

“I didn’t mean it, I was upset. I’m sorry. I just…I didn’t know what I was saying.”

My eyes narrow as I clench my fists tighter turning my knuckles white. “You knew exactly what you were saying, now I think you should leave.”

“Please listen to me Rogue. I know I’ve been a jerk and I know you probably hate me, but I love you. Kitty didn’t mean anything to me, it’s biggest mistake I’ve ever made in my life. Please Rogue, I want you back, and now you‘ve had the cure we can be a proper couple just like you wanted.”

I glare at him shaking with anger. How the hell does he think that little speech will make me want him back? And how the hell does he think he can justify what he did? “Oh, so you want me now I’m cured so you can put your filthy hands on me? I did try to make it work, I thought of ways we could be able to touch each other without you getting hurt months and months ago, do you remember? But every idea I had, you didn‘t want to try, you weren‘t interested. And now I know why.”

“If you’d got the cure before none of this would of happened, we’d be together and-”

“So this is all my fault?” I’m yelling now unable to control my anger. I don’t care if anyone hears either. “I didn’t make you fuck Kitty!”

“I didn’t mean-”

“I know exactly what you meant! You changed, you became a really nasty person always giving me orders, telling me what I could and couldn’t do, acting like you’re Mr. Perfect then treating me like dirt! You make my skin crawl. Now let me tell you something Bobby Drake, the reason, the real reason I didn’t get the cure before is I didn’t want to touch you!” I scream at him. He hurt me, I don’t care if he knows the truth. “I wanted Logan, I love him.”

He stares at me, mouth open. He looks like he’s going to cry, his eyes full of rage and hurt. “Logan? That…animal?!”

I swing my fist towards his face again but he grabs hold of my wrist and twists my arm around so I can’t move.
“He’s more of a man than you’ll ever be.” I spit, the poison seeping out in my voice. I rip myself free from his grasp and glare at him seething with rage. “Now I suggest you leave before Logan comes back.”

He stares back at me, but I can see the fear in his eyes the moment I mention Logan’s name. "He'll never love you." he seers coldly as he walks towards the door. He turns to me as he opens it “You better watch your back.” he warns and marches out of my room slamming the door behind himself like a child having a tantrum.

I should of hit him again…

***

“Wolvie! Wait up!”

Great what does she want? I stop and turn my head to see Jubilee joggin’ down the corridor towards me. I should of waited in the danger room for another ten minutes before heading back to my room.

“What’s this I hear about you not taking my advice?” she says holding her head up an’ folding her arms across her yellow Spongebob whatshisface t-shirt. “I told you, flowers, dinner, romance.”

“Well I didn’t need any of that crap.”

“Bu-”

“Rogue doesn’t like stuff like that.” I tell her as I continue my way down the corridor “An’ it looks like my way worked anyway.”

She falls silent but still tags along behind me like a lost puppy. I look to her over my shoulder an’ raise an eyebrow at her. “That all?”

“No, you missed it earlier,” she says her voice doin’ that weird high pitched thing it always does when she’s excited “Rogue punched Bobby in the face, gave him a nose bleed too!”

I stop and turn on my heel “What?”

“I think she dealt with it.” she quickly says, tryin’ to calm me down.

I would of gone on the hunt for Iceprick if I didn’t already have this stupid ‘warning’, but I don’t want to ruin anythin’ for Marie, her job, her home. And I kinda like it here too, I mean, sure it’s annoying with all the little brats runnin’ around the place and I can’t smoke inside, although I do anyway, and certain members o’ staff think they’re better than everyone else, but there are some good things too. The danger room, gettin’ to borrow Scooters bike, hey it’s not like he ever uses it, and o’ course Marie is here.

She’s sittin’ at her desk when I walk into her room, gradin’ some papers from her classes, her hair tied back, black t-shirt with some band logo on it, dark blue jeans. It’s still weird seein’ her without gloves on.

“What did he say to you?” I demand lettin’ the door click shut.

“Logan just leave it, it doesn’t matter.” she says calmly, placing her pen down.

“No, tell me why you hit him. You don’t usually go ‘round punchin’ people.”

“He just…said some stuff, so I punched him, he deserved it. But it’s sorted now, so just drop it.”

I sigh heavily. I want to know what he said to make Marie so angry, but she knows me too well. She knows I won’t let him get away with whatever it was he said. Sometimes she’s too nice for her own good.

“We’ve only been back for a day Sugar, I don’t want you getting into any more trouble.” she smiles gently at me as she gets up from her chair and steps over to me, wrappin’ her arms ’round my neck, her black-lined eyes soft an’ carin’. Why did I wait so long for this, to make her mine? I forget about the anger I feel as I lose myself in her eyes. All I want to do is look after her, protect her, show her how much I love her.

I place my arms around her, hold her to my chest and place a kiss onto her silky hair. “Okay, but if he does one more thing, then he won‘t be gettin’ away with it.”

“My room is bigger.”

“Mine’s got a nicer bathroom.”

“My bathroom is exactly the same.”

“But you never clean yours.”

“I do.”

“You’re meant to clean it more than once a year you know.”

“Well, I can smoke in my room.”

“You’re not meant to.”

“I don’t care, they can’t tell anyway.”

“Well I don’t want you smoking in my room.”

“Then it’s settled, my room it is.”

I smile smugly and take another drag from my cigar as she pouts at me but doesn’t protest. I asked Chuck if it was alright for me and Marie to share a room and he couldn’t exactly say no considering Jean and One-eye got to share. I know Marie and I have only been together for a little over three weeks now, but it’s not like she’s a total stranger and it’s not like Chuck doesn’t realise how I feel about her. I think he secretly knew my feelings for her all along being able to read minds an‘ all. I hope he didn‘t delve too far into my thoughts about Marie, I think the old man woulda had a heart attack if he knew some of the things I thought about.

I stub the end of my cigar out in my ashtray and leave the window open so the smoke can escape and walk over to my bed where Marie is sittin’. I smile at her, my eyes narrowin’ slightly as I look her up an’ down. Her green plaid shirt open just enough at the top for me to see the top o’ her cleavage, her black jeans tight on her perfect long legs. I lean down placin’ my hands either side of her an’ kiss her soft lips, pushin’ her back onto the caramel sheets. She lets out a little moan o’ approval when my lips begin to travel down her neck, her fingers gently tuggin’ at my hair. She whispers my name as I bite her neck softly makin’ her arch her back, pushin’ herself against me. I thrust back into her lettin‘ her feel the hard bugle that has now formed in my jeans, teasin’ her. I hear her heart beatin’ loud as thunder, smell her arousal, makin’ me want to take her right now. I kiss back up her neck and let my lips find hers again.

I pull away an’ look into her green eyes that are full o’ a perfect mixture o’ lust an’ love.
“You better go start movin’ your stuff in here then.” I grin, knowin’ that I’ve left her wantin’ more.
Just you wait till tonight, Darlin’.

-*-*-*-

Winter always has been my favourite time of year maybe because I could get away with covering up every inch of my body and not looking any different from how other people were dressed. Christmas at the mansion was always fun, we always had dinner together, swapped presents, spent the day watching old movies on the television, just like a proper family, maybe a dysfunctional one but still a family.

I’d given Logan his presents in the morning before we went down stairs, a bottle of Jack Daniels, a shirt and a new leather jacket, his one was falling apart. Then he gave me my gift, a beautiful short sparkly green dress with a bow around the waist and a pair of black heels that I’d been wanting for a while, I was amazed that he’d actually remembered. I decided to wait to wear the dress tonight for the new years party that Jean has organised with the help of the other teachers.

“You look beautiful.”

I roll my eyes. “Bobby I told you, go away.”

“Bu’ Rogue, you look amazin’, seriously, wow.” he slurs. Drunk again.

I close the fridge door and turn around to face him “Bobby, I told you I’m not interested and I never will be. Now stop making a fool of yourself and just go back to Kitty.” I hiss losing my patience with him. He’s been trying to win me back for weeks I would of thought he’d got the hint the third time I slapped him, but evidently not.

He moves closer still babbling on about how we belong together and how he’s sorry, the usually excuses and sob stories.

“Bobby just shut up and leave or I will tell Logan, and trust me you don’t want him to find out.”

He lunges for me, grabs the top of my arms as he slams me against the fridge and tries to push his lips onto mine.

“BOBBY!” I scream struggling to push him off, but I can’t he‘s too strong.

His face lingers close to mine, the strong smell of beer and garlic on his breath making me gag. “Don’t say you don’t want this.” he says as pushes himself against me, his hand drifts down my shoulder towards my chest and he tries to kiss me once again.

“WHAT THE FUCK!”

He lets go quickly and backs away. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” he cries as Logan runs into the kitchen. He tackles Bobby to the floor and punches him in the face. He draws his fist back again but his arm is caught by Scott.

“Logan, enough!” he shouts.

Logan growls at Bobby who is now terrified and crying. Logan gets up, his eyes still fixed on Bobby. Scott lets go of his arm and gently pushed him away.
“Logan-”

“You saw what he did, you were with me!” Logan yells to Scott.

“I know Logan. I was going to say I think you should take Rogue to my office, let her calm down. I’ll deal with Bobby.” Scott says calmly.

Logan glares at Bobby, his fists clenched tight, eyes full of rage. He turns and puts his arm around me and escorts me out of the room and down the hall to Scott’s office.

He closes the door behind us and wraps his arms around me. “You alright Darlin’”? he asks as gently as he can though his anger. I nod resting my head on his chest, my heart still beating fast. I’m more worried and upset that Logan will get into trouble than the fact that Bobby just forced himself onto me. But judging by Scott’s reaction, Bobby is the one that will be getting into trouble, at least I hope so.

After waiting for a short while, Scott enters the room looking less angry than I thought he would.
“Everything is sorted.” he says calmly “Logan, you know that you already have a warning-”

“That’s bullshit! You saw what he was doing!”

“Let me finish,” he says lifting a hand up imitating something the Professor would do. “You have a warning and you shouldn’t of dealt with it that way but what Bobby did was unacceptable, I know you were only protecting Rogue.”

I stare at him gob smacked. Why is he being so…reasonable? Even Logan seems confused by the way Scott is acting. Maybe he’s drunk.

“Now come on, lets get back to the party.” he smiles. Seriously what is up with him?

Logan frowns as Scott then walks to the door. “Come on Darlin’” he says holding out his hand for me to take.

“I’ll be there in just a minute.” I tell him. I think he understands so he leaves the room without me.

I cross my arms as I turn to Scott. “What was that about? Usually you can’t wait to get Logan into trouble.”

He shrugs “Well, it’s New Years Eve, we’re all meant to be having fun aren’t we? The last thing we need is a big fight kicking off.” he sighs and shrugs again “And I guess I would of done the same if anyone did that to Jean. I know Logan and I don‘t always get along, but he‘s a lot happier now, less argumentative and I‘d like to keep it that way.”

I frown at him. This is weird. It’s not like Scott to side with Logan, ever. Maybe he’s happy that Logan has stopped flirting with Jean, although he told me he only did it because he like the reaction he got from Cyke. And they have been getting along better lately, well they still argue but not half as much as they used to.

I say nothing, just nod. I don’t want to give Scott any reasons to change his mind.

“Come on, we better get back.” he says opening the door for me. “Just don’t mention anything. Jean’s worked hard on this party, I don’t want to ruin the night.”

-*-*-*-

My head pounds. Another headache in less than a week. I’ve been in bed most of the day but it still hasn’t gone. They started just over a month ago, new years day to be exact. I thought it was a hangover at first, a really bad hangover. But it came back a few weeks later and now they’re becoming more frequent, more intense. Now when I get these headaches I can barely walk, they make me dizzy and disorientated. I can’t stand light or noise so I usually spend most days like this in bed. I didn’t tell Logan at first, I didn’t want him to worry about me, but when he found out he made me go to see someone about them. I went to a doctor outside of the school, not wanting to make anyone else worry about me, but he couldn’t find anything wrong or give me any definite explanation as to what they were, his conclusion was they‘re migraines that are triggered by certain food, drink or lights or sounds. He gave me some painkillers but they don’t work.
Then one day, I thought I felt something, an old familiar feeling. My mutation. Just for a second, a split second. I’ve only ever felt my mutation twice and both times were just a matter of seconds. The first time I thought I was just being paranoid, but the second time it happened I knew it was real. I haven’t told Logan about it, I don’t want to worry him any more.

It’s nearly 3pm now, I really should get up. I sit up slowly, careful not to make myself dizzy. I’m glad I have they day off from teaching. I now teach two classes of English and history a week unsupervised, the other two I teach with Ororo under her watchful gaze. Today I need to mark the papers from yesterdays test on the history of mutant rights. Although it sounds boring it’s quite interesting. Logan is already down in the danger room. I sometimes join him on Wednesdays just to get some practise. Although I don’t have my powers any more I’m still good at hand to hand combat, but today I really don’t feel up to it. In fact I feel like I’m going to be sick.

I make my way to the bathroom, grabbing anything I can to steady myself on the way. My vision is hazy, distorted. I push the door open just as my legs give way leaving me on my hands and knees. I want Logan. I’m scared. It’s never been this bad before…

***

I barely hear my name being called, the bight lights shining above making my head pound. The strong sterile smell hurts my nostrils. I slowly open my eyes, my vision still blurred. I blink letting my focus adjust. Machines and monitors with names that I can’t pronounce are on the other side of the white room. Hank is standing next to me with a clip board in his hand. I can barely make out the smile on his face.

“Rogue, how are you feeling?” he asks softly studying my face.

“What happened to me?” I ask, my voice barely a whisper as I sit up, my headache almost gone now.

“Ororo found you passed out in your room Rogue. Now I assure you there is nothing to worry about with the sickness, it is a common phase and should pass with time but the fainting-”

“Phase?” I ask. What does he mean phase?

He looks at me confused “You don’t know?”

“No Hank I don‘t know, now would you please just tell me what is going on.” I ask impatiently.

“I took some blood samples, ran some tests. You’re pregnant, Rogue.” he tells me slowly.

Pregnant?? How could I be pregnant and not know? I haven’t missed a period or anything like that. I thought women knew when they were…And…

“But how? I thought it was near impossible for two mutants to you know….have a kid. Everyone knows Jean and Scott have been trying for years.”

“Well, yes it’s true that it is difficult for two mutants to conceive but in your case I guess that er, you’re…how can I put it…highly fertile.”

My cheeks go red slightly at his comment “You’re definitely sure?”

“One hundred percent.”

I don’t know if I want to smile or cry. Logan and I haven’t even got as far as discussing children. I’m not ready to have a baby yet, I’m too young. Sure I want to be a mother some day, I just never imagined it would be now. How will Logan react? Will he be happy? I don’t know. I don’t know how I feel right now.

“The bad news is,” Hank sighs “your mutation is coming back.”

And with that the smile that was growing is smashed. “Back? How can it be back?”

“Well, you see, although the cure has had a high success rate it’s still not one hundred percent accurate. In about twenty five percent of cases the mutation can come back for a short while, particularly if the body is under stress as a sort of defence mechanism, before disappearing completely. In other cases where the mutation is strong, the cure isn’t strong enough to completely transform the DNA and stop the mutation. It’s only a temporary fix.”

“So which is it?”

“At the moment your mutation is flickering on and off. The shock is making it worse, more frequent at the moment but, well, it’s too early to say what will happen to you and baby...I’m afraid that it is highly likely that your mutation will return as your pregnancy goes on.”

“What about the baby? Will it be alright?” I ask quietly looking up at Hank, my eyes filling up with tears. I’ll really never be able to hold my child?

“I’m sure even if your mutation comes back as it was before, the baby should be immune but we’ll have to keep an eye on the little one as this is considered a high risk pregnancy. I‘ll need to see you again, but I think it will be better when you’re more relaxed. You can go now, try to get some rest. I’ll let you know if I have any more news.” He says softly, giving my shoulder a gentle squeeze. “Come on, I’ll take you back to your room.”

We walk in silence side by side down the corridor of the lower levels of the school and take the elevator. I’d usually take the stairs, healthy option, but Hank insisted I didn’t exasperate myself.

“Please don’t tell anyone about this, I want to tell Logan myself.” I tell him as I open the door to mine and Logan’s room.

He nods, smiles kindly understanding my wishes. “Don’t worry, I won’t. Now get some rest.”

I shut the door and lean against it taking some deep calming breaths. I can feel my skin starting to tingle again, going on and off for a few seconds. I try to stop it but I can’t, I don’t know how to. What am I going to do? How can I tell Logan he won’t be able to touch me again soon? How am I going to tell him I’m having his child?

I quickly walk over to the chest of draws on my side of the bed. I pull out a pair of gloves, my favourite black silky ones that Logan bought me for my birthday a couple of years ago. They’re the only pair I kept. I fumble with them, pull them on quickly. My skin has stopped buzzing now but I don’t want to risk hurting anyone, especially Logan.

Tears begin to form in my eyes as I stare down at my gloved hands, they burn my cheeks as the fall silently. This is the last thing I imagined. I don’t know what’s worse; not taking the cure at all or having it but only for a short while?

I reach down and place my hands on my stomach. I can’t believe there really is a baby in there, another life that I’m now responsible for. Sure I’m nervous and shocked, but I know I’ll love this child more than anything in the world, love them, protect them…What if Hank made a mistake, got the results wrong? I need to take a test myself, just to make sure.

I sneak out of my room and down the corridor to Jean and Scott’s room. Jean is bound to have some home pregnancy tests in her room somewhere. I open the door carefully and quickly make my way to their bathroom. Their room is clean, spotless just as I imagined it would be. White sheets, cream walls. Plain, boring, clinical. I open the cabinet above the sink in their equally sterile bathroom, nothing. I then spot the cupboard under the sink. Buried amongst the masses of cleaning products are what I’m looking for. I grab one of the many boxes and stuff it into my pocket, hopefully Jean won’t notice it missing.

I put everything back as I found it and quickly head back to my room. Just as I’m turning my door handle, the elevator door opens and Scott steps out. I give him a quick smile and shut the door. That was a close one. I make my way to the bathroom, ripping the packet open as I go. I’ve never done one of these before so quickly read the instructions then follow them.

The five minute wait seems to drag on forever. I pace up and down waiting for the time to pass, in the end I leave the bathroom unable to stay in there waiting. As I walk out, I spot a red envelope on the bed. I didn’t notice it here before. Then I remember what day it is, valentines day. I open it, inside is a white card with a red heart in the middle. I smile wondering to myself as I read the note inside “Marie, meet me outside by the fountain 6pm xxx”
I wonder what he as planned, but my mind is too busy to even begin to think about the ideas that are going on in Logan’s head.

I place the card down on my bedside table and check the clock 4:27pm. I go back to the bathroom, my five minutes almost up. I stare down at the piece of plastic that is resting on the side of the sink. I take a deep breath and quickly snatch it up with a gloved hand. Next to the little results window is a results key: “pregnant ‘+’” and “Not pregnant ‘-’”.
I move my thumb out of the way...

“+”

Pregnant.

I knew it would say I was, but I had to know, I had to see for myself. I stare down at the plastic in my hand…

What now?

***

I try to phone Logan but there’s no answer so I take a shower and get myself dressed ready to go and meet him. I don’t know what he is planning so I decide to wear a jade green dress top with black leggings, ‘casual smart’. I thought of ways to break the news to him but all of them seemed useless, so I decided to go with the best idea I could think of.

I pull my long black coat on and grab the small package wrapped in red paper and put it in my pocket and head downstairs. The corridors are empty, most of the students are in the rec room watching tv and playing pool so I hurry past not wanting to be stopped by anyone. I’m already late.

I step outside into the cool night air and make my way over to the fountain, the lights from inside the mansion are the only thing helping me see the way. Logan is sitting there waiting for me, elbows resting on his knees as he holds his head in his hands.

He looks up and grins at me relieved “I was starting to think you weren’t gonna turn up.”

“Sorry, lost track of time.” I smile nervously, hands in my pockets.

He stands up still smiling, steps closer to me but he doesn’t touch me. I want him to wrap his arms around me, hold me close, but he doesn’t. He stands there shifting his weight from one foot to the other just looking at me, making me nervous.

“There’s er…there’s something I need to ask you..”

Before I can speak, hundreds of little fairy lights shoot on making the courtyard lights up. The little lights twine around the trees, potted plants and all around the fountain making the water sparkle and shimmer. Logan pulls his hand and out of his pocket as he sinks down to the ground. My heart feels like it’s skipping beats as a million butterflies violently spring to life in my stomach.

“I may not know much about my life, but I do know I want you in it. Marie…will you marry me?” he asks opening the box to reveal a delicate platinum ring with a beautiful shining diamond sitting on the top. I look from the ring back to him waiting to wake up any second, but this isn’t a dream. I want to say yes, but I can’t. I can’t until I tell him.

I stare down at him, my bottom lip beginning to shake.

“Marie?”

I smile and nod, unable to speak. He sighs and smiles quickly standing up ready to put his arms around me.

“There’s something I need to tell you first.” I say quickly, tears beginning to roll down my cheeks.

He looks at me baffled as I pull the thin package out of my pocket with a gloved hand and give it to him. He looks down at it frowning a little as he pulls the paper off the plastic stick. He looks up at me the drops his eyes back to it and studies it carefully for a few seconds before his eye snap back up to mine.
“You’re pregnant?” his voice a few octaves higher than usual, I would of laughed if I wasn’t so worried and upset. I glances from me, to the pregnancy test and back to me. A nervous smile spreads across his face and turns into a beaming grin as he throws his arms around me pulling me into a tight embrace. “How?” he asks happy but confused. We both thought it took careful, precise planning for two mutants to be able to conceive a child.

I shrug “Guess we‘re just lucky.” I smile weakly, knowing that I’m now going to have to tell him the bad news, break his happiness.

“What’s wrong?” he asks concerned as he pulls away from me slightly, his hands resting gently on my hips. He knows I have something else I need to say but I don’t know how to.

I pull my gloved hands out of my pockets and take hold of his hands. “My mutation is coming back.” I whisper through my tears.

He looks at me in disbelief. His happiness crushed. “Wh…How?”

“I felt it a couple of times before just for a second, but then it went, I just thought it nothing to worry about, just a side affect. And I’ve been really ill lately…I passed out today and, and Hank told me it he thinks the cure will start to wear off…”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he sounds a little annoyed, but I know he’s only worried. I shrug. I don’t know why I didn’t, I guess I was just ignoring it, hoping it would disappear. “Marie..” he whispers, closing his eyes as he plants a gentle kiss on my forehead

“I understand if you don’t want to-”

“Marie,” he interrupts me, “don’t you remember what I said at the cabin? I said that mutation or not, I love you. And I meant what I said.”

I smile, whoever thought Wolverine could be so romantic?

“So,“ he smiles back opening the small box in his hand revealing the ring again “will you be my wife?”

“Yes.”

***

“You know I was gonna ask ya on new years eve, but well…that didn’t happen.”

“Is that why Scott was being so nice to you?”

He shrugs “Dunno. I think Jean might of said something to him.”

“Jean knew?”

“Yeah and ‘Ro, Chuck…I needed help plannin’ everythin’.”

She smiles as she lays next to me. It took her a while to have the courage to take her gloves off, which were followed by the rest of her clothes. I told her not to worry about her skin, told her to relax and not think about it. I trust her. And what would be the point in wasting what little precious time we have left? I felt her skin begin to do that weird thing it always used to do, like a tiny electric shock drawing me in. It only lasted a matter of seconds and was a lot weaker than usual, by the time I realised it was happening it had already stopped but still it frightened and upset her. She pulled herself away from me, her eyes wide, hands shaking but I pulled her close again, didn’t let go when she told me she thought she was going to hurt me. I wanted to show her I’m not scared of her mutation.

“I love you.” I whisper and plant a soft kiss on her forehead. I place my hand gently on her stomach and smile at her. I knew there was something different about her in the past few weeks, but I didn’t know what. I thought I would’ve been able to tell but guess when you’re with someone all the time you don’t really notice them changing. From the moment she told me I suddenly realised.
I can’t believe I’m going to be a father, that she is going to be my wife…and soon I won’t be able to touch her skin like this again. But it’s going to be alright, there are plenty of ways around it, all it takes is some imagination. I don’t mind if I can’t touch her, as long as I have her nothing matters, I loved her before I could touch her anyway.

“What are you thinking about?” she asks softly.

“Nothin’,” I smile.

“Tell me.” she says, raising her eyebrows an’ tilting her head.

“I’m just happy that’s all. You’re gonna be my wife and we have a kid on the way. I don’t think I could ask for much more”

“You’re not scared, you know, being a daddy?”

“’Course I’m scared Darlin’, wouldn’t be normal if I weren’t but we’ll be fine. Me you and our little one”