Lately I've been hard to reach I've been too long on my own Everybody has a private world Where they can be alone Are you calling me, are you trying to get through Are you reaching out for me, I'm reaching out for you

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I'm just so fuckin' depressed I just can seem to get out this slump…I'm starting to feel distant again

Marie turned her bare hands over, looking down at her palms. Sighing, she shut her curtains and pulled on her long sleeve sweater. After getting the cure, she thought the only thing that would be hard to deal with was the rumors. But then the headaches started, the news of the failing cure, the suppression drug and finally, the scars.
The headaches were a result of an adverse effect to the cure. Doctors from Worthington industries told her that if her powers ever fully come back there was a seventy-seven percent chance of death. Then they mentioned that the cure was failing. Sometimes she wondered if maybe they should’ve told her that first. Other times she was too sick to think about anything but the pain. She spoke to the professor, who re-contacted Hank and together the three of them worked endlessly in the lab. The suppression drug worked fine until the side effects kicked in. It started with headaches which soon turned into migraines. Some days she could hardly make it out of bed. After awhile she decided that she needed to move on with life. She went out shopping one day with Jubilee, needed new comfortable clothes as she was going through another growth spurt. She was standing with her back to the edge of the railing on the second floor when everything went dark. When she came to, she was covered in blood with people hovering over her. Jubilee later explained that she had fallen over the railing and crashed into a glass roofed stall below. She was lucky to be alive but the impact had left scars. Everyone had asked why she had fainted but she had forbidden Hank and the professor from telling anyone.
Once she was released from hospital she decided she wanted to go home. Today she had phoned the number that had hovered at the back of her mind for the past three years. After three rings an unfamiliar voice had picked up. It was one of her cousins that she hadn’t seen since she was five. He’d told her that her parents were dead. Died in a car crash six months ago. He’d got the house, their money, everything. They left her nothing. She had thanked him for his time, put down the phone and sat in her room staring at nothing for six hours straight. The scars were the things that hurt the most. Mentally and physically.
Sighing again, she stood up and made the seemingly long walk to her door. She opened it slowly, peeked out to make sure no-one was around, and carefully stepped out. She shut her door quietly and made her way downstairs. As she walked nearer to the dining hall she could hear the voices of everyone else. Taking a deep breath, she brushed imaginary dust off her clothes, before stepping inside. Most students went silent, just staring at her. Other’s ignored her. It was okay though, before her big accident it was just whispers and sneers. She walked over to her usual table with Jubilee but stopped when she saw Kitty and Bobby there. It would’ve worked with her and Bobby so she broke it off as soon as possible. He moved on pretty fast but it never bothered her. She just didn’t feel like their company right now. She turned and moved to the other corner, where Scott waved at her. Ever since Jean’s death and her attempt to kill him, he’d been struggling to recover. It was only a few weeks ago that he’d started coming out of his room again. He’d never spoken to her before today.
She smiled hesitantly and sat down. He smiled back and pushed his empty plate away. “Not hungry?” he asked.
“Not really.”
“You need to eat Rogue-“
“Marie. It’s Marie.”
“Oh.”
She nodded for no reason and looked down at her hands. Her bare scarred hands. She lifted one hand and moved her hair in front of her face to cover the scar on the side of her cheek. After a few minutes the silence was becoming unbearable.
“I don’t know how to talk to you.” She finally admitted.
“I’m okay now.” He whispered.
“Are you?”
“Yeah. It still hurts and always will but… this is what she would have wanted.”
“What do you want?”
“To make her happy.”
Marie nodded, thinking about Jean. She would’ve wanted Scott to move on with life and not spend the rest of his days hiding.
“The x-men need their leader back.” She confirmed.
“What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Are you ready to come back?”
“I’ve been here all along.”
“No, you haven’t.”
“How would you know Scott? You just said yourself, you’ve only recently come back to us.”
“And the first thing I noticed is that no-one knew where you were.”
“I had an accident.”
“That was two weeks ago. And besides, even before that, people never knew where you were.”
“I can’t be around here.”
“Let me help you.”
“How?”
“Talk to me.”
“Scott-“
“Come on, what have you got to lose?”
Sighing she ran her fingers through her hair, before looking down at the scar on her hands.
“Did the professor tell you… or was it Hank?”
“Neither. I found the reports on your ‘condition’ while looking through some files in the med-lab. How are you?”
“Not dying.”
“When last have you spoken to Logan?”
She clenched her fists and looked away. Logan. Wolverine. Words that she avoided because it hurt too damn much. It wasn’t that he wasn’t here, oh no, he was here all the time. Right now she could feel him staring at her from the teacher’s table. When she was in hospital, he was there throughout each and every visiting hour. He even was there to sign her release papers and take her back home. She was grateful but hated feeling like an obligation. But it was her own fault for asking him to make that promise to her years ago.
“Marie?”
“Huh?... Oh, sorry… I… um… last week maybe?”
“He says he hasn’t heard your voice in over a month.”
“That long huh? ...wait, why are you and Logan having conversations anyway?”
“Let’s just say we’ve reached an understanding.”
“O-kay.”
“Look, why don’t you get out of here for awhile? Go exploring or better yet, go see your parents.”
“My parents?”
“Yeah.”
“I…I…”
“I know. I’ll take you! What do you say? A quiet trip to Meridian, just me, you and the open road.”
“Um… sure.”
“Great!”
He pushed back and stood up, walking out the room. Marie sighed before dropping her face in her hands. After a moment, she stood up and walked out of the kitchen. She headed to the familiar route towards the med-lab downstairs. Hank was already there working on his laptop. She sat on a chair and stared at the blank wall. She heard him say something about her hiding away from the world but as always, she didn’t care.

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Don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful

Scott was late. He’d given her instructions to meet him at eight in the morning in the garage. It was nine thirty. She huffed in frustration and adjusted her dress. It was the first time she’d worn her short green dress that swayed just above her knees. She figured since it was Scott who was taking her, it was okay to show her scars. And there were quite a few on her legs from the accident. Feeling self conscious suddenly, she looked down at her legs. The cuts and bruises had faded but the scars where the glass had cut deep into were still there.
“I’m so ugly.” She whispered.
She pressed the palms of hands to her eyes to stop the tears before picking up her bag and turning to the door. She gasped when she realized she was not alone. Logan stood by the doorway of the garage, arms folded, simply watching her.
“Hey Marie.”
She opened her mouth but no sound came out. She was aware she looked like a goldfish but she couldn’t think of anything to say. So she closed her mouth and looked down. She heard him move and tensed. Within seconds a pair of boots entered her vision. She shut her eyes tight and opened her mouth again.
“Why?” she whispered.
“Scott said you needed to see your parents. He can’t take you cause of all the work he needs to catch up. So, I offered. That okay?”
She wanted to say no, that her parents were dead so going to see them would only increase the pain that tore through her heart. So she nodded again.
“Okay then.”
She opened her eyes and watched him move to the sleek black truck in the corner of the garage. She picked up her bag and followed him. As he climbed in, she dumped her bag on the seat before climbing in and buckling up.
“Ready?”
She nodded again and stared out the window. She felt the truck start and looked at her hands. Her bare hands. Closing her eyes, she leant her head back and fell asleep.

When she woke up, she had no idea of where she was and the sun was higher in the sky. She yawned and scratched the back of her head.
“Sleep well?”
She turned to Logan and nodded. He sighed and she watched his fingers tighten on the steering wheel.
“You’re going to have to give me more than just a nod Marie.”
“What time is it?”
“Four.”
Her eyes widened and she stared at him in shock. The tension left his body and the corner of his lip twitched.
“You slept for about seven hours.” He explained.
“Oh.”
“Hungry?”
“Starving.”
“I bought some food. We can eat at the hotel Scott booked.”
“He planned a whole route for the way there, didn’t he?”
“Making sure every detail was perfect.”
Not every detail, thought Marie.
“Hey, don’t go all quiet on me.”
“Oh sorry.”
“Don’t apologize, it’s just… it’s good to hear your voice again.”
“I didn’t know… I… maybe…”
She huffed in frustration struggling to say the words. I didn’t know I was cutting you out. I shouldn’t have done that. Maybe it’s because of the cure and what happened afterwards. His hand covered hers and she was surprised how soft his voice sounded.
“It’s okay Marie.”
She nodded and once again pressed her hands to her eyes. The truck stopped and she looked up. There was a small bed and breakfast in front of them, painted a lemon yellow that made her want to run in the other direction. The look on Logan’s face showed he felt the same.
“That Scooter has a sick sense of humor.”
“Yup.”
“Should we go in?”
“You first.”
He chuckled and reached over to take her bag. She stepped out and walked forwards. She walked behind him, keeping her head down.
“Marie?”
“Yeah?”
“You look beautiful today.”
She stopped walking and looked down at her bare, scarred hands. Two large hands wrapped over them and before she could react, she was pulled into a tight embrace. It felt warm and… normal. After awhile he let her go and stepped back. He led the way into the sickly yellow house and she followed quietly. They checked in relatively quickly and were lead up the first flight of stairs. Their room, thank god, was not yellow but crème. There were two single beds, a small wardrobe and a door with a bath sign hanging on it. Marie entered the room and put her bag on the bed. She watched as Logan closed the door and sat down next to her.
“You okay?”
“I told you, I’m fine.”
“Just asking Marie.”
He reached towards the brown bags next to him and handed her a sandwich. She smiled gratefully and ate hungrily. Once she was finished she drank her fruit juice and then quickly went into the bathroom. She cleaned her face and took her pill before coming back out. Logan was still sitting on the bed. She sat back next to and looked at her hands.
“Marie?”
“Mm?”
“Do the scars hurt?”
She frowned and looked at her legs. His hand moved and traced over one of the scars.
“Not anymore.” She whispered.
“That’s good.”
“Logan…” she opened her mouth but couldn’t bring herself to tell him about her condition.
“…Red or blue?” she finally mumbled.
“Blue… red reminds me of blood.”
“Hot or cold?”
“Cold. Summer or Winter?”
“Winter.”
“Why?”
“I like snow.”
“Why are you always in your room at the mansion?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Why didn’t you want to talk to me?”
“I can’t! Please…”
“Six weeks from now, you free?”
“I guess.”
“Go out with me.”
“What? You’re Logan, you don’t go out with women-“
“I changed Marie. We’re allowed to change but as long as we don’t forget who we are.”
“I don’t know who I am.”
“You’re Marie. You like lilies, you prefer coffee over tea, you like to sit on the roof occasionally to drink beer alone, you’re favorite color depends on the weather and more than anything you want to be a mother. You’re the most important person to me in this entire world. You’re all I got, baby.”
“Logan…”
Tears rang down her cheeks and she threw her arms around him, hugging him tight. He hugged her back and stroked her back. She wanted to tell him then but she couldn’t break the moment. She snuggled closer to him and allowed herself to fall asleep in his embrace.

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I just wanted to fit in, At every single place

She stared at the large yellow house in front of her. It was like she remembered it all those years back. Her house… well it used to be before her mutation. Logan was standing next to her waiting for her to go in. Sighing, she turned and started to walk back to the truck.
“Marie?”
“Logan… there’s something you should know.”
She closed her eyes for a moment before opening them and looking at him.
“My parents are dead. Have been for six months.”
“When did you find out?” he whispered.
“The day I was released from hospital.”
“You never said-“
“What was I supposed to say? Who was I supposed to tell? I didn’t know how to react, Logan. That day I was ready to go home, only to find out my home was gone.”
“You wanted to leave?”
“Yes!... No… I mean, I did.”
“Marie… I thought we were closer than that. Darlin’, you can tell me anything.”
Tears were running down her face by now and she shook her head and ran back into the truck, slamming the door closed. Once in she closed her eyes and let the tears just continue falling.
“Marie?”
“Just get me away from here.”
She felt the truck start and took a deep breath as they began to move. She looked out the window and watched her childhood home rush by. A place that used to be so filled with memories. But now it caused her so much hurt to even look at it. Her thoughts drifted to the man next to her. She realized that, in the past, whenever she had had a problem, he was the one she went to. And that had changed but not for the reason she thought. She always told herself that since Jean died again Logan had been distant. But the truth was after going away for a week, he was more there than in the past.
“Logan?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Not your fault darlin’. I shoulda known something was up.”
“I don’t hold you to your promise you know. The one you made on the train.”
“Marie, I’m not here for you because I have to be. I’m here because I care for you.”
“Like a sister?”
“Like a friend… or maybe a little bit more than a friend.” “What are you saying?”
“What I tried to say last night. I care for you deeply and want us to… to try this relationship thing. But you need to be honest with me.”
“Honest?”
He didn’t say anything and she turned to face him. His face was serious and his eyes avoiding her gaze. Finally she sighed and prepared to tell the truth.
“The cure gave me these intense headaches. So I went back to one of the centers and asked why. They did some tests and said my powers were coming back. And if they did come back… there was a chance I could die-“
The truck swerved and she had to brace herself. Logan pulled over to the side of the road and stared at her. She never, ever, seen him so frightened. His knuckles clenched the steering wheel tightly and his breathing was heavy. She reached over slowly and placed a hand on his cheek.
“It’s okay. Hank made a suppression drug. It traps my powers rendering them useless. But it has side-effects-“
“That day at the mall.” He whispered.
“Yeah, fainting is a side-effect.”
“Then you shouldn’t take it. Not if it makes you sick.”
“If I don’t I’ll die.”
She let her thumb stroke his cheek before pulling her hand back. His hand caught hers and he gently kissed the back of her hand. Very slowly, his other hand reached forward and pulled her face closer. Her breath hitched as he was so close, she could feel his breath on her lips.
“Logan…” she whispered.
His lips descended on hers and she gasped at how soft they were. The kiss was slow and gentle. When they broke apart, she felt slightly light-headed.
“You’re not alone Marie. You’ve got me. You’ll always have me.”
“I know Logan. Thank you.”

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