I Probably Wouldn't Be This Way by Silvereyes
Summary: Logan's death is hell for Rogue. Song-fic
Categories: AU Characters: None
Genres: Dark
Tags: None
Warnings: Character Death
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 1413 Read: 1752 Published: 06/13/2010 Updated: 06/13/2010
Story Notes:
Thought of this after watching the video for I Probably Wouldn't Be This Way by LeeAnn Rimes.

1. Chapter 1 by Silvereyes

Chapter 1 by Silvereyes
Author's Notes:
Sorry if this isn't all that great. I typed it up in.... 15 mintues! Record timing for me! WOO! lol
Kitty’s POV:
Logan was dead. Such a solid member of the team, strong, courageous, and maybe a little reckless… gone. It tore Rogue apart. I mean, it’s been 2 years… but she’s never gotten over Logan’s death. I never see her anymore unless she’s out there by his gravestone. I’ve told her that maybe she shouldn’t talk to… ‘him’. I think she hates me for that. Otherwise she stays locked up in his room. I hear her crying in there all the time. Jubes, Bobby, and I… well, we miss her. Storm tells us to just… let her be, but how can we? She’ll probably end up self destructing one of these days… so Jubes set up a date for her. She’s the only one who sees her anymore, so she’s getting the whole thing worked out, I guess. The guy is supposedly a little nutty. I’m not sure that’ll suit Rogue well. Especially now.

Got a date a week from Friday with the preacher's son
Everybody says he's crazy
I'll have to see
I finally moved to Jackson when the summer came
I won't have to pay that boy to rake my leaves
I'm probably goin’ on and on
It seems I'm doing more of that these days

Jubilee’s POV:
My chica moved into his old room. I don’t know why. That would only upset her more. She lets me in sometimes. His stuff is still lying around. A pair of jeans is sitting on a chair, one of his old wife-beaters dropped haphazardly onto the floor. His normal boots are at the end of the bed. She hasn’t moved any of it in two years. I could bet that his clothes are still in the drawers. She hardly talks, so that more than likely will cause her upcoming date to fail. She only ever speaks to his headstone. It’s a headstone for crying out loud! He can’t hear her! We all miss him… but Rogue… she’s dying without him.

I probably wouldn't be this way
I probably wouldn't hurt so bad
I never pictured every minute without you in it
Oh you left so fast
Sometimes I see you standing there
Sometimes it's like I'm losing touch
Sometimes I feel that I'm so lucky
to have had the chance to love this much
God gave me a moment's grace
'Cause if I'd never seen your face
I probably wouldn't be this way

Bobby’s POV:
I hate seeing her like this. I do. I might not have liked Logan much, but I respected the man. He had honor and he knew what he was doing when fighting. And he always treated Rogue well. The man may have stolen her right out from under me, but that was my fault. I can’t hate him for that. I see just how much his death is hurting her and I can’t bring myself to have any resentment towards him. Not even when she spends all her time at his headstone. She rambles on about nothing when she’s there, as if he’s there next to her, listening. I’ve told her that maybe it would be best to try and move on, but I honestly know that it won’t happen. She’ll go on this date that Jubilee has set up and she’ll never go on another one with the same guy. Never. Logan always was the one that had her heart completely.

Mama says that I just shouldn't speak to you
Susan says that I should just move on
You oughta see the way these people look at me
When they see me 'round here talkin’ to this stone
Everybody thinks I've lost my mind
But I just take it day by day

Rogue’s POV:
A girl with green hair points at me and motions at her friends to look at me too. When they do, they start to whisper. I just look at the granite stone in front of me with one word on it: LOGAN. I trace the letters with a finger, a ritual I’ve come to do every time I’m out here. “Hey sugar. It’s me again. I’m having another rough day without you. It’s hard, ya know? People around here think I’ve gone completely insane. They stare at me like I’m some freak. Jubilee got me a date… but I think she’s forgotten that I’m already taken.” I frown at that. “I miss you. I miss you so much. Your room doesn’t… doesn’t smell like you anymore. Not even your clothes. I feel like I’m losing you completely. I know you’re here with me, but I… I can’t sense it. I can’t feel it. I need you, Logan. I need you so much.” Tears welled up in my eyes, causing my vision to go blurry until I felt them roll down my cheeks. I wipe them away, sniffing. I stand and hurry back into the mansion, going back up to his room. When there, I shut the door and lock it.

I probably wouldn't be this way
I probably wouldn't hurt so bad
I never pictured every minute without you in it
Oh You left so fast
Sometimes I see you standin’ there
Sometimes I feel an angel's touch
Sometimes I feel that I'm so lucky
to have had the chance to love this much
God gave me a moment's grace
'Cause if I'd never seen your face
I probably wouldn't be this way
Probably wouldn't be this way

I walk into the bathroom and turn on the hot water in the tub, putting the stopper into the drain. I don’t even have the energy to take my clothes off anymore. When the tub is full, I turn the water off and stand by the tub, staring at the wall. My thoughts race in my head, the Logan there screaming at me to not do this. I’ve tried this before and every time, I ended up listening to him. But not this time. No. I will go through with this. I look down at the water and lift my right foot up, sliding it into the hot water. I hear myself hiss, but my mind doesn’t really register the heat from the water. I lift my other foot in and then turn so I’m facing the water knobs and shower head. Slowly, I lower myself into the water, letting my hands rest on the edges of the tub. For a moment, I just sit there, listening to his voice, pleading me to not kill myself… to keep on fighting. My hands slide off the sides of the tub and I slowly let myself slide down into the water. My eyes are open and I can see the light breaking through the surface of the water.

I don’t know how long I’m there. It feels like this dying thing is taking forever… but then the pain starts. I know I need air, but I don’t want it. I force myself to stay there, my hands floating a the surface of the water. Black starts to edge around my vision, the pain deepening inside my chest. My lungs burn, but I fight the pain and stay. That’s when I see him. A silhouette above me. It’s hard to see who it is, but he’s big, broad shouldered and his hair is wild like nothing I’d ever seen before. His image is broken when the water gets sloshed around. I feel hands grip my shoulders, but I know there’s nothing there. I didn’t see hands reach into the water. I’m pulled up out of the water by… something. I come up, gasping and coughing. When I look around frantically, I see no one. Nothing. But then I know… it’s Logan. He always said he’d be with me, no matter what.

I sat in the tub until long after the water had gone cold. I cried out of happiness and sadness, knowing that Logan was still there… he was always there. I just couldn’t see him.

Got a Date a week from Friday with the preacher's son
Everybody says I'm crazy
Guess I'll have to see
End Notes:
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