Ya wanna know why I’m sittin’ out here?


Why I’m under this useless hunk of wood otherwise known as an oak tree tryin’ to shelter from this annoyin’ fuckin’ rain storm from hell?


Why I’m gettin’ soaked to the bone?..........Well that last bit’s easy – ‘cause the afore mentioned useless hunk of wood known as an oak tree has a fuckin’ pathetically sparse canopy to it.


King of the forest my ass.


Poor thing should be embarrassed, it bein’ a bit of a weak link an all, I should put it outta it’s misery, and ya know what? I think I will, just as soon as this fuckin’ storm dies down. Yep, I think between us me and the not so mighty oak here could make a real nice fire to warm me up and dry me off.


Don’t remember ever seein’ rain like it, mind you I don’t remember jack shit of anythin’ much. Bet somewhere there’s a guy called Noah laughin’ his ass off right about now. Ro too, ‘cause she’s not here, took off for a few days, somethin’ about ‘centerin’ herself’ whatever the hell that means, all I know is I bet ‘centerin’ yourself’ is done while makin’ sure the sun is shinin’ wherever you are and fuck anyone else.


You wanna know why I’m sittin’ out here?


Well shit, why do I do anythin’ these days?


Marie that’s fuckin’ why.


My life useta be so easy, ok so it wasn’t exactly great, pretty shit really, ok so it was dire but it was simple ya know? Not fuckin’ complicated. At all. I drove, I drank, I ate, I slept, I fought and I fucked.


Simple.


I did what the hell I wanted to do when the hell I wanted to do it, with nothin’ and no-one standin’ in my way [not if they had any sense of self preservation anyway] but now.....


But now there’s Marie.


And fuck if anythin’ to do with that girl is simple.


Gorgeous – yes
Simple – no.


There was a reason my instincts kicked her to the kerb, left her on the side of the road - They knew.


They knew it would be trouble, knew *she’d* be trouble with a capitol T.


So why did those oh so sensible, always trusted, never let me down before instincts suddenly decide it would be a good idea to make me slam on the brakes? Because they knew, they must of, knew it wouldn’t stop there, oh no, I had to talk to her, like her, wanna take care of her, protect her.


Me, the meanest mother of ‘em all had his own instincts workin’ against him.


Traitors.


Did they malfunction? I mean my head’s not exactly what you’d call normal, some would say I’m about as far from sane as you can get. Maybe I had some sort of internal misfire goin’ on short circuitin’ the natural order of things or somethin’.


Somethin’ definitely went wrong cause lets face it I don’t talk let alone like, wanna take care of or protect. Period.


Yet here I am.


While we’re havin’ this little admission session lets add one more to the list......I love her.


Jesus. I’m fuckin’ doomed.


Crazy, insane and doomed.....Oh and lets not forget.....in love.


Heaven above, how in the hell do people cope with this shit?


Never in a million years should this be happenin’ to me. I am *not* ‘in love’ material.


Except apparently I am.


I’ve read about it, just the once mind you, managed to get to the end of the book without throwin’ up [just] and then promptly threw the book in the trash where it belonged. Didn’t wanna leave it lyin’ around for some other poor bastard bored outta his skull to pick it up and think it was a good idea to read it. Score one for the other poor bastard, I did him a really big favour if ya ask me and he never even knew it.


Got me to thinkin’ maybe I should write a book ‘cause I think the author of the one I read used quite a bit of poetic licence if ya know what I mean. The record should be set straight. Perfect words with perfect actions and orgasms every page, well I’d let the nation know the truth, in love or out of it I doubt ya average Joe has perfect words and perfect actions. I know for a fact I aint got many words at all let alone perfect ones, all though even if I do say so myself I’ve had absolutely no complaints on my actions but for the record I do not ‘join together in the oldest most intimate of dances’ - I fuck and farmers may ‘plant their seed’ - I come and talkin’ of orgasms – well I’m a guy and up for as many as I can get [pardon the pun] and again I have to say - no complaints. But I should add that I’m also a mutant with a fuckin’ healin’ factor for christ’s sake and I don’t think I could get anywhere near an orgasm per page so Mr Average hasn’t got a hope in hell. I think maybe readers of this shit need a bit of a reality check.


Actions – check
Orgasms – check
Words –


What the hell do I say to her?


Do I tell her?
Can I tell her?
More to the point I suppose is should I tell her?


I stayed ya know, couldn’t seem to leave, well leave her to be more precise and that was just......damn confusin’ for someone like me, I mean everyone knows I’m a loner, a wanderer, a free spirit.


Love changes everythin’ - aint that the fuckin’ truth. Couldn’t even tell ya what it is that makes her different, makes her......well just everythin’
I just know she is.


Now I know I love her, don’t know how or even when, know I’ve never felt it before but those fucked up instincts of mine are screamin’ that’s what it is. Do know the words in that book aint never gonna come outta my mouth though. I do not do lovey dovey crap, ‘sweet’ or god forbid ‘cute’ faulty wirin’ or not that just aint gonna happen. This is new territory for me, he who’s seen’ everythin’, been there done everythin’ and bought the fuckin’ T-Shirt is completely at a loss. What do I do now?


Fuck if I know.


I’m sittin’ out here in the rain ‘cause she’s in there.
I’m sittin’ out here in the rain ‘cause I’m a coward.
I’m sittin’ out here in the rain ‘cause it’s simple.


Of all the days it had to be today. Instincts couldn’t have clued me in last week could they? Oh no it had to be today.


Fuckin’ enhanced senses of mine are about as traitorous as my instincts......I heard......


Heard him talkin’ - He’s bought her a ring.


I’m sittin’ out here in the rain ‘cause they’re in there.
I’m sittin’ out here in the rain ‘cause......


Ya know what? This rain is pissin’ me off.


I’m goin’ inside cause she’s in there.


And she’s mine.


I’m gonna bite the bullet and tell her.


I’m just gonna say ‘You’re mine and I love ya’


That’s about as perfect as I can get, it don’t sound too bad to me, maybe I’m a closet romantic. I think it’s time I came out so to speak.


You think she’ll like it? Well if it aint good enough - tough! I’m the Wolverine for fucks sake, I want it, I take it, I get it. I’ll just have to make it up with the other stuff; maybe I could manage every other page.


Goodbye easy and simple, complicated here I come - at least I’ll be dry.


He can fuckin’ sit out here in the rain.


The end.