The trucker stopped on the side of the road; the sudden jerk of the cab coming to a halt waking me up. I waited groggily as he got out, walked around the front of the truck and opened the door for me.
“This is it,” he said as I hopped down.
It was bitterly cold. I looked around but the only thing that I could see was a building across the street, barely shown by the glow of a streetlamp. The trucker shut the passenger door and started to walk away when I spoke up.
“Where are we?” I asked, my southern accent still thick even after being on the road for eight months. “I thought you said you were gonna take me as far as Laughlin City.”
He stopped. “This is Laughlin City,” he replied and continued toward the building, dodging a beeping pick-up truck as he crossed the road.
I was curious, and freezing, so I crossed the road and hurried toward the brick building. Inside there were two rooms: a bar and a larger room that had a wrestling ring inside a metal cage. Both rooms were filled with people. It was very loud; yelling and screaming, booing and cheering. There were two men in the ring, one was lying face down on the floor. My heart skipped a beat when I saw the other. He was standing in a corner of the cage closest to me smoking a cigar. He was rough looking, with dark messy hair and mutton chops to match. He was clad only in jeans and there were dog tags hanging loosely from his neck. He was very muscular. A third man strolled into the center of the ring holding a microphone; I guessed that he was the referee.
A bell rung three times and two larger men came into the ring and dragged the guy on the floor out. The referee began to speak.
“Ladies and gentlemen! In all of my years I’ve never seen anything like this!” he started.
“Come on, come on,” someone shouted impatiently.
“Are you gonna let this man walk away with your money?” the referee continued, motioning to the guy in the corner.
“NOOOOOOOO!!” roared the crowd.
“I’ll fight him!” a man shouted and made his way out of the bleachers.
Some of the crowd cheered, some booed.
“Ladies and gentlemen: our savior!”
I moved around, trying to get a better look. The bell rung again and ‘savior guy’ started wailing on ‘shirtless guy’, punching and kicking him in the back. Every time a blow connected, I winced. Then ‘savior guy’ let ‘shirtless guy’ have a go at him. Two fists came into contact and ‘savior guy’ howled in pain. That gave ‘shirtless guy’ the chance to get a whack at him. ‘Shirtless guy’ knocked ‘savior guy on the side of the head, then kneed him in the stomach, which made ‘savior guy’ stumble backwards. Finally, ‘shirtless guy’ head butted ‘savior guy’, and that knocked him out cold. The bell rung yet again as ‘shirtless guy’ gave his lifeless opponent a final kick and returned to his corner.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight’s winner, and still King of the Cage: The Wolverine!”
The crowd roared. I waited for almost everyone in the room to leave before wandering into the mostly empty bar.

X X X

I sat down on a stool in the bar and dropped my duffel bag beside me. Someone was sweeping the cage, and the trucker that drove me up here was on lying on the couch behind me, asleep. There was music playing softly in the background, and a television above the bar that was on at a low volume. I didn’t pay much attention to it; it was the half-full tip jar that caught my eye.
“Want something new, honey?” the bartender asked in a gruff voice, then noticed what I was staring at. “You’re stickin’ with water,” he sneered, moving the jar to the other end of the bar.
I watched as a guy, ‘The Wolverine’ walked in, now fully dressed.
“I’ll have a beer,” he grumbled as he sat down a couple of seats away from me and tossed a $20 bill onto the counter. He put a new cigar into his stern looking mouth, and lit it.
The bartender opened a bottle of beer and handed it to him, taking the $20. The news came on the tv and the bartender turned it up. I kept my head down, listening to it and stealing glances at ‘The Wolverine’. The news anchor started to speak.
“Ellis Island, once the arrival point of hundreds of thousands of American Immigrants is opening its doors again. Preparations are nearly completed for the upcoming …..” I started to tune it out. I could only think about the gnawing hunger in me and how it was affecting the life growing inside of me.
“……World’s economic climate and weapons treaties, to the mutant phenomenon and its impact on our world stage.”
I suddenly looked up when he mention the word mutant. It caught my attention and it must have gotten Wolverine’s attention too, because he looked up at the screen. It made me guess that he was like me, a mutant.
‘Savior guy’ came up behind Wolverine and started pestering him.
“You owe me some money,” he demanded.
Another man, possibly his friend came up behind him. “Come on buddy, let’s not do this.”
‘Savior guy’ waved him off. “Nobody takes a beating like that without a mark to show for it.”
Again, his friend pleaded him to stop
“I know what you are,” ‘savior guy whispered into his ear.
“You lost your money. You keep this up, you’ll lose something else,” Wolverine threatened, almost inaudibly.
Now I was scared. I watched, as if in slow motion, ‘savior guy’ turned back to his friend, whip out a knife and headed toward ‘The Wolverine’
“Look out!” I screamed without realizing it.
Wolverine had jumped out of his chair and had ‘savior guy’ pinned against a pillar by three foot-long metal claws coming out of Wolverine’s hand. The claws were at his throat.
“Get out of my bar, freak!” yelled the bartender who held the barrel of a shotgun to Wolverine’s temple. He shredded it, retracted his claws, grabbed his beer and stormed out of there. I waited until the screen door banged shut before grabbing my bag and following him.

The sun hadn’t come up yet, but the sky was getting brighter. It was unbearably cold, and hiding under a plastic tarp didn’t keep me warm one bit. Wolverine drove for a while, of course unknowing that I was hiding in the flatbed trailer he was pulling behind his camper. All of a sudden he started to slow down and then stop completely. I held my breath when I heard footsteps approaching, and prayed that he would either change his mind and turn around, or not find me.
There was no such luck.
He poked me and I couldn’t help but shiver. He threw the tarp back and a wave of cold air washed over me. I squinted up at him in the suddenly bright light. Wolverine took a drag on his cigar.
“What the hell are you doin’?” he growled at me.
“I’m sorry. I needed a ride; thought you might help me.”
“Get out,” he ordered, picking up my bag and tossing onto the ice and snow covered road.
“Where am I supposed to go?” I asked as I swung my legs over the edge of the trailer and hopped down.
“I dunno.”
“You don’t know or you don’t care?” I asked, annoyed.
“Pick one!” He shot an angry glance at me, made his way back to his vehicle, and opened the door and got in.
“I saved your life!” I yelled in a desperate last attempt to change his mind.
“No you didn’t,” he said nonchalantly as he closed the door and drove away.
My heart sank, but only for a minute. He stopped a couple hundred feet down the road and opened the passenger door. I grabbed my bag and ran for it before he could change his mind again.



“You don’t have anything to eat do?” I asked after we drove for a minute.
He said nothing, just reached across me, opened the glove compartment in front of me and dropped a package of what looked like beef jerky on my lap. I took my gloves off, ripped it open and started showing pieces into my mouth as fast as I could, but slowed down when I realized how bad my manners were. I removed my hood.
“I’m Rogue,” I said.
He didn’t say anything. I noticed the dog tags hanging around his neck.
“Were you in the army?” I asked, hoping I could coax a conversation out of him. He only glanced at me. “Doesn’t... doesn’t that mean you were in the army?” I motioned toward his dog tags. He didn’t respond, just slipped the pieces of metal under his shirt and focused on the road. I was curious, so I looked at my surroundings. Nothing much, except a ‘housey’ part in the back.
“Wow,” I couldn’t help saying it.
“What?”
I hesitated, then said, “Suddenly my life doesn’t look that bad.”
“Well, if you prefer the road……” he started.
“No! No,” I reassured him. “It looks great…. looks cozy,” I said embarrassed. I started to rub my hands together; it was so cold in there!
He noticed, then flipped a switch on the dashboard.
“Put your hands on the heater,” he said, moving a hand toward mine.
I shrunk away into my seat, trying to get farther away from him.
“I’m not gonna hurt you, kid.”
“It’s nothin’ personal,” I explained. “It’s just… when people touch my skin, somethin’ happens.” This wasn’t completely true; the bracelets that hung from my wrists disabled my power, but I was still afraid.
“What?”
“I dunno, they just get hurt,” I replied as I put my gloves back on. What happened wasn’t very easy to describe, and I didn’t really want to try.
“Fair enough,” he mumbled with a cigar in his mouth. He removed it.
“When they come out,” I said, referring to his claws, “does it hurt?”
“Every time.”
I felt kind of bad for him. We drove in silence for about an hour or so, the snow had really started to pick up.
“So what kind of a name is Rogue?” he asked me, finally breaking the silence.
“I dunno. What kind of a name is Wolverine?” I sassed and smirked at him.
He sighed. “My name’s Logan.”
“Marie,” I replied.
I looked out the windshield and saw nothing but white. I was suddenly very uncomfortable, and worried for Logan’s well being, as well as my own.
“You know you should wear your seat belt,” I suggested.
“Look, kid,” he said sternly. “I don’t need advice on how to…”
Next thing I knew we hit a tree that came out of nowhere. Logan flew through the windshield and lay face down in a snow drift, some distance away from me. I tried to undo my seatbelt, which was wrapped tightly around my slightly round belly. I couldn’t get it loose and I panicked. I only had two thoughts running through my head: getting the hell out to save my child and if Logan were ok. I tried frantically to get out, but it was no use, I was stuck. When I thought things couldn’t get any worse, they did. I smelled smoke, and flames slowly started to rise behind me. I coughed and spat. I was on the verge of tears; this wasn’t how I wanted my life to end.
A miracle happened.
“Are you alright?”
I stared ahead. It was Logan, somehow unhurt. He was waling toward me. I gaped at him in awe.
“Kid, are you alright!?” he asked again.
I snapped out of it. “I’m stuck!” I yelled back.
He came to me and threw open the door. He unleashed his claws. I grimaced at the thought of what he was going to do. I closed my eyes and looked away as he carefully slipped a claw under the seatbelt and tore it. I grabbed my bag just as he was pulling me out.
“Run!” he shouted at me.
I did for a couple of yards, not far behind him, slipped and fell on my ass. He came back for me and picked me up, only to push me down and crouched on top of me a second later.
“Logan, what the…”
I heard a massive explosion that shook through me. I could see flaming bits of metal fall around us. Logan growled. I closed my eyes for what seemed like hours. I opened them and Logan pulled me up. My hand automatically went to my stomach.
“You okay?” he asked.
I nodded.
“Okay stay here,” he said and walked off toward the burning truck.
“Logan!”
He turned around. “I’ll be fine,” he said and disappeared behind the truck. A few moments later, he came speeding out on his motorcycle, unharmed, and skidded to a stop in front of me. I stared at him.
“Well, what are you waiting for? Get on!” he yelled over the roar of the motor.
I hesitated, then swung my leg over the back and sat down. I wrapped my arms around his waist and held on for dear life. He revved the engine and we sped off. I ducked behind Logan’s back to keep off the stinging sleet that had begun to fall.
“Logan,” I yelled over the engine and the howling wind.
“What?” he yelled back.
“Where are we goin’?”
“I don’t know yet.”
A few moments later, we came up to a snow covered sign that said: Selkirk, Manitobia 1575 km, with an arrow pointing to the right. Logan turned the motorcycle right onto a different road.


We pulled into Selkirk long after the sun went down. The trip to the small dreary town consisted of two stops for gas and food and five stops in the middle of nowhere so I could go behind some trees to go to the bathroom. By the time we pulled into the parking lot of the Selkirk Inn, I could not feel any part of my body because I was so numb. We walked quickly across the dimly lit lot to the motel’s lobby. The inside wasn’t much brighter, just a glow from a small TV. The man at the counter was a middle-aged man wearing a red plaid flannel shirt and looked vaguely like a lumberjack.
“What can I do for ya folks?” he asked, looking up from the screen.
“We need a room,” Logan replied.
“Two?” he asked when he noticed me behind Logan.
“Uh, yeah.”
“That’ll be twenty-fifty,” he said and plopped a key down on the counter and returned to what he was watching. Logan took the key, replaced it with the money and turned to me.
“Let’s go,” was all he said.
When we walked outside an ice cold blast of air hit me in the face and made me shiver all over. We came to a door that said 2B; Logan unlocked it and stepped inside, flipping on a light switch. I followed him inside. Through the dim light I could make out two double beds with a small table between them. A lamp, phone and an alarm clock sat on the table. There was also a mall television that sat opposite the beds, a small closet and a bathroom. I dropped my bag and headed for the bathroom as soon as I saw it. Logan was standing there with his arms crossed when I came out.
“Somethin’ wrong?” I asked
Logan shook his head, then went into the bathroom and closed the door. I sat down on one of the beds. I hate motels, but it was awfully nice of Logan to get us one for the night. I didn’t realized how exhausted I was until I lay back on the bed. I wasn’t so comfortable sleeping in the same room as a stranger, but he did say he wasn’t going to hurt me, didn’t he?
I picked up the TV remote that I had found on the table and switched on the set. There was nothing on any of the ten channels. I flipped through them numerous times before giving up. Logan had the shower on in the bathroom. I decided to try and get some sleep, so I shedded my green coat and slipped under the musty-smelling sheets. I left the light on so Logan could see. I tossed and turned for a while, but I realized, that as tired as I felt, I couldn’t relax enough to sleep. The bathroom door opened and I heard Logan stepped out. I snapped my eyes shut, pretended to be a sleep
“You’re still awake,” Logan said after a few minutes. It wasn’t a question.
I turned over to face him and propped my self up on my elbow. He was sitting on the bed next to me. “How could you tell?”
He shrugged. “Just a guess.”
“Oh.”
“You might want to get some sleep,” he said as he slipped under the covers. “I don’t know what time I’ll be leaving tomorrow.”
“Where are we goin?”
“I don’t know about you, but to me it doesn’t look like there’s anything in this town that’s worth staying around for,” he said and turned out the light.
“Oh,” I said again, suddenly feeling unwanted.
“You can come along if you want,” he offered after a moment of silence.
“Okay,” I said, relieved. “Goodnight.”
“‘Night, kid.

‘This will only hurt for a little while….’
‘These bracelets, they suppress your mutation, so you can have your life back.’
‘Set up a perimeter, don’t let her escape!’
I woke up drenched in sweat, rivers of tears flowing down my cheeks. I cried silently to myself, trembling uncontrollably. I’ve had that dream many times before, and something about it is so realistic, so familiar that it scares me half to death and I’m afraid to go back to sleep afterwards.
It took me a while to realize that Logan was tossing and turning and moaning in his sleep on the bed next to me. I stood up unsteadily. My legs felt weak and I almost fell on top of Logan
“Logan,” I called, placing a gloved hand on his bare… wait a minute, when did he change? His skin shimmered with sweat as well. “Logan, wake up,” I whispered again, shaking his shoulder. He was still mumbling rather loudly, so I shook him a little harder.
“Logan!”
He woke with a start that made me jump. Then I was on my back. Logan had an arm laid across my chest, pinning me down on the bed. I stared up at three metal claws aimed at my throat, and a look on his face that could kill in itself. I couldn’t speak, couldn’t think or even breathe. I could feel his chest heave as he breathed heavily. Then his expression turned to that of confusion when he realized who he was about to decapitate. He let me up. I scrambled back from him, then fell off the bed and back into a corner to get as far away from his as I could. I could just barely make out an apologetic look in the expression of rage on his face as he tried to grab at me. Then he decided against if, grabbed his shirt off the floor, and left, slamming the door in a way that shook the whole room. After he was gone for a few minutes, the realization of what just happened sunk in and I barely made it to the bathroom before I threw up.

I was in an unusually bad mood when I woke up the next
morning; I didn’t feel like getting up at all, but I did anyway. As soon as I removed the thin bedspread that was covering me, I quickly retreated back under it. The room had turned unbearably cold overnight; the heater must’ve been broken. I turned over and froze when I saw him sleeping soundly in the bed next to me. The images of what happen in the middle of the night rushed into the front of my mind. I realized that I didn’t feel safe being near him anymore, and I decided now, with him being asleep, was a good chance, if the only one, to make my escape. I went in the bathroom, put on my shoes and jacket and grabbed my bag. I was about to slip outside unnoticed, when I felt something grab my arm.

“Don’t.”

I slowly turned to face him and he didn’t let go. I tried to read his face. He looked exhausted, like he hadn’t slept at all, and was that desperation I saw in his eyes?

“Please…” Another attempt at making me stay. Why did he, after last night.

“I’m sorry about last night,” he continued.

I didn’t know how to respond, but I felt as if I had some fault in my near-death experience. The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. “Me too.”

“Yeah, just um,” he started as he ran a hand through his wild hair. “Just don’t try to wake me when I’m having a nightmare, alright?”

I nodded, unsure of what to do next. My bag was still sitting beside me, and I could have just left then and there, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

“You know I can’t make you stay,” he assured me, letting go of my arm, “but…but it would be nice if you did.”
“Okay…”

“But before we leave, you probably should shower, smells like you need one,” he said, ruffling my hair. I blushed and winced at the gesture. Did I reek that bad?

The hot water felt like heaven on my skin, especially on my lower back, which had begun to hurt. I showered quickly, and changed into clothes that smelled the cleanest out of the pile in my bag. I came out of the bathroom. Logan was moving around the room, gathering his belongings together. Noticing me in the room, he asked me a question I hadn’t expected.

“So, uh, how far along are you?”

I stood there dumbfounded and stared at my abdomen. The bump was barely noticeable through the shirt I was wearing. “Wha…how’d you know…?”

“I can smell it on you; your hormones are freaked out. You don’t smell like any other woman I’ve been with.”

Part of his mutation I figured. “Oh, um, five months I think,” I answered, still shocked at his intrusiveness. Then without warning, tears spilled down my cheeks. Stupid mood swings. I turned away from him, hoping he wouldn’t notice. I quickly wiped the tears away, only to have more reappear in their place. I sank onto the edge of my bed, covered my face with my hands, and sobbed, for no apparent reason. Then I felt his hands around me from behind, pulling me onto his lap. He held me there for a few minutes, as I sobbed into his shirt. I was confused; why did I feel so safe in his arms?

“What’s wrong, kid?” he asked, with an alarmed expression on his face. He brushed hair away from my face.

I jerked away. “I don’t know,” I said as I tried to figure out exactly why I was suddenly having this crying fit. Then it dawned on me. “I guess I’m just so mad at myself for letting him do this to me,” I explained, pounding the bed with my fist, my sadness suddenly turning into anger.

“Who?”

“I don’t know. All I remember is that I hitched a ride from some trucker back in Idaho. He said he would be able to take care of me. He seemed nice at first. We stopped at a bar. I asked for a drink, but I think he must have put some drugs or somethin’ in it. I remember being really out of it, but…but then there’s a length of time when I couldn’t remember anything. I woke up naked next to him, in some ratty motel room. I was able to leave without wakin’ him up. God, I don’t even remember his name!” I started sobbing again.

He held me for another few minutes until I calmed down. He spoke again. “But I thought you said you hurt people when they touch your skin…”

“Yeah, but I got these bracelets,” I said, peeling off my gloves and holding up my wrists. There was a thin shiny bracelet clamped to each wrist. After having them for months though, they haven’t dulled yet. Then Logan did the weirdest thing, he sniffed them, and as he did so, his face paled. “I got these bracelets at a lab someplace, and they’re supposed to disable my mutation. I don’t exactly know how, but I guess they do.”

We sat in silence for a moment. Feeling awkward, I shifted off his lap.

“Do you remember where the lab was at?” he asked.

“Um,” I scrunched my up my face and thought really hard. “By a big lake, I think, and a dam.”

He thought for a minute. “Okay, well, get your things together…” he started, but I cut in.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I think I just figured out where we are going next,” he replied as I stood up.

X X X

“Logan,” I said as I came out of the bathroom for the third time that morning. “Why do you want to go back there?” I knew I really didn’t want to return there.

“I want to find some answers…about my past and stuff.”

“Oh,” I said, for lack of something else to say.

“I also have a strange feeling,” he continued, “that wherever you got those bracelets is the same place where I got these.” He unsheathed his claws with a distinct *snikt*. I jumped.

“What would make you think that?” I asked.

“I have a feeling that those bracelets are made from adamatium, like my claws,” he said and moved toward me. “And if they are…” The claws protruding from his left hand slid back into his arm, and so did two from his right hand. He took my wrist in his left hand. “Do you trust me?”

I thought about it for a moment, then swallowed and nodded. He lightly scraped a claw across my bracelet, and the contact produced bright orange sparks. I jerked my hand away. He grabbed it back, and examined the bracelet.

“I knew it!” he exclaimed, as the claw slipped back into his arm.

I pulled my hand back again and examined it myself. There wasn’t a scratch on it.

“How…?”

“The metal is indestructible,” he explained.

I stood there in awe, reexamining the bracelet several times, but no scratches showed. And then it happened, a light ripple across my abdomen. My hand moved downed there. I gasped as I felt it again.

“What?” he asked, a concerned look on his face.

“It…I think it moved,” I said as grabbed his hand and placed it wear I felt it move.

Nothing happened.

“I don’t feel anything,” he said.

“Well…hmmm.” I lifted my shirt up just enough to expose my slightly swollen abdomen, and replaced his hand. He quirked an eyebrow. I felt the ripple again, right where his hand was. Logan jumped. Yep, ‘Mr. I’m such a bad ass’ actually jumped when the baby moved. I couldn’t help but giggle. He removed his hand and I fixed my shirt.

“What?” he asked.

I shook my head. “Nothin’,” I said, a smile plastered on my face.

“How old are you, anyways?” he asked.

“I’ll be eighteen in a couple days.”

After we gathered out stuff, we left and headed north. It was snowing heavily and I could barely see the sides of the road. I had held on to his waist in a death grip; I really didn’t like being out on an open vehicle in this kind of weather. After a while I was covered in wet snowflakes and soaked to the bone. Logan had only his leather jacket to keep warm, nothing to protect his head or hands from the bitter cold. I didn’t get how he could stand it.

“Logan,” I yelled, “I don’t think this was a good idea!”

If I had thought it couldn’t get any worse, it did. Snow changed to freezing rain which pelted us.

“Yeah,” he hollered back. “The next town that comes up we’ll pull into.”

“Don’t you ever worry about how dangerous these roads can be?”

He didn’t get to answer. We didn’t see the truck that was swerving toward us until it was ten feet in front of us. The truck hit the motorcycle, throwing both me and Logan from it. I felt my back hit something hard, and then my world went black.

‘What happened?’ I asked myself. I tried to open
my eyes but the light was too bright and I had to close
them again. Everything hurt, but what hurt the most was
my left arm and between my legs. ‘Oh not again!’ I
thought, fearing that I had been taken advantage of yet
again. I tried to lift my left arm, but stopped when I
felt excruciating pain run up my arm. I groaned. My right
arm, however, didn’t hurt as badly and I was able to
glide it over my stomach. I panicked. The baby bump was
no longer there. I forced my eyes open to see what the
hell was going on. When my eyes adjusted, I looked
around. I was surrounded by metallic walls in what looked
like an infirmary. There was an IV sticking out from the
crook of my right elbow, and some wires had me attached
to a beeping machine. I tried to sit up, but as soon as I did, the room started to spin horribly and the beeping machine started screeching. I lay back down willing the
dizziness and the noise to go away.

“Jean, she’s awake!” I heard a woman’s voice exclaim nearby.

“Alright, I’m coming,” replied another woman’s voice, from farther away, who I assumed was Jean.

I panicked, and I couldn’t help but tremble.

Two women strolled into my line of sight. The one with the caramel colored skin spoke first. Her hair was long and white as snow, but nothing about her appearance suggested that she was anywhere near old.

“Marie - ,” she started.

“Rogue,” I retorted, my voice scratchy. “My name is Rogue!” I despised anyone using my birth name, after I had left home all those months ago.

“Rogue,” she said smiling slightly. “Honey there’s nothing to be afraid of. You’re safe here.” She moved her hand to rest on my shoulder. It was then that I realized I was wearing one of those paper-like hospital gowns.

The other woman -Jean- stepped in. She had flame red hair that was pulled back into a high ponytail. She was wearing glasses and a white lab coat.

“Where am I?” I asked.

“Westchester, New York. You’re at Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters. I’m Dr. Jean Grey. This is Ororo Munroe,” she said as she motioned toward the white haired woman. “Do you remember what happened,” she asked me.

As the fragments of the accident returned to my mind I relayed them to Dr. Grey and Ms. Munroe: riding on the back of Logan’s motorcycle, seeing the truck swerving toward us, but after that my mind went blank.

“We found you by a tree a few hundred meters from the scene. With the position we found you in, it’s a wonder you didn’t break your back,” Dr. Grey commented.

Hmmm, so that’s why my back was sore as well.

“Rogue…there’s something else you should know,” Dr. Grey started.

I felt something was wrong as she said those words; my stomach dropped.

“Your child…it… it didn’t make it.”

No.

“We did everything we could…”

“No!” I screamed, tears streaming down my face. I tore the blanket off me and hopped down off the table.

“Rogue wait! Let me explain!” she called as I ran out off the room, not caring that I was only covered in the paper gown.

The hallway was a gleaming chrome, familiar in a way I didn’t want it to be, so I screamed for the only person.

“LOGAN!!”

I ran as fast as my sore legs would carry me, turning every which way trying to find a way out. I was crying hysterically. Lucky for me a door whirred open, and I thought ‘great an elevator, maybe that’ll take me to a way outta here.’ I stepped inside and the door whirred shut again. When the door opened again, I entered a long wooden paneled hallway. It was empty. I saw daylight, which meant window, which also meant an exit. I didn’t care though, I wasn’t gonna leave without Logan.

“Logan!”

I opened the first door on my right, only to rebound off a semi hard object and land on my ass, which made my lower regions sting profusely. It was all I could do to bring my knees to my chest and sob. Someone attempted to pick me up, but I jerked out of their grasp.

“Relax, kid it’s just me.”

“Logan?” I choked out between sobs as I felt a pair of arms lift me up and carry me. When I opened my eyes again I saw golden-hazel one staring back down at me.

“Hey kid.”

I let go of Logan’s shirt that I hadn’t realized I’d grab a hold of and threw my arms around his neck and buried my face into his shoulder as fresh tears fell. My whole body was trembling.

“Hey, Rogue, what’s…” he stopped. I could feel him nuzzle into my hair and hear him take several deep breaths. “Damn, kid I’m sorry.” He stayed there like that, his face in my hair, which was strangely comforting and I was able to calm down in a few minutes. When I had calmed down, he slipped a hand under my chin and moved me so I could face him.

“What happened?” he asked.

“I don’t know exactly, I left the room before anyone could explain. I guess… I guess it didn’t survive the wreck,” I answered, then buried my face once again into Logan’s chest, willing myself not to cry.

“Damn it, I should have listened to you,” he said, kissing me at my hairline.

We sat there in silence for a few minutes before I spoke.

“Logan, what is this place?”

I watched as he opened his mouth and closed it several times in an attempt to explain.

“I don’t think I would be able to answer that one for you, darlin’.”

After talking with Professor Xavier, I was set up in my own room instead of bunking in a room with other girls my age. After talking to the father-like figure I felt safe, something I hadn’t felt since I discovered my mutation over 9 months ago. It didn’t take much convincing to get my own room; after what I had been through, they agreed it would be best, and I really wasn’t in favor of having roommates. I was lucky enough to have some clothes loaned to me, and Ms. Munroe said she would take me shopping tomorrow. Before I was shown my room, Dr. Grey took me back down to the infirmary to check me over. My wrist had healed so the splint was able to come off. She also changed the bandage that covered the long gash down my right arm; she said the stitches could come out in a week. She tried to convince me to stay down in the infirmary, but it made me real uncomfortable being down there because it reminded me of the lab. So she said that as long as I rested as much as I could and took it easy, I didn’t have to stay down there.

So here I was, in my own room, freshly showered and wearing a long sleeved pink nightgown that reached my ankles and my gloves. I was staring out my window facing the lawns, although there’s not much to look at out there at 3 a.m. Coming out of my trance I noticed a reflection in the window, and it wasn’t mine. I gasped and spun around, only to find Logan leaning against the door frame, arms folded across his chest and smirk on his face.

“God, Logan you scared me!” I exclaimed bringing my hand to my chest.

He just shrugged and walked up to me, hands now in his pockets. “You still awake?”

“Yeah, couldn’t sleep.”

“How’re ya feeling?”

“Okay,” I replied, shuffling my feet and winced at the pain from my leg. “A little sore, but I’m good; stitches in my leg come out in a week.” I shrugged. “But my wrist is all better though, see?” I held up my left arm for him to inspect, but when he started to remove the glove I instinctively pulled back.

“Hey, you know you don’t have to wear these anymore,” he said, taking my gloved hands in his.

“I know. I guess I just wear them out of habit,” I explained, looking at my toes, which I suddenly found interesting. ‘Hmmm,’ I thought to myself. ‘Maybe I should pick up some nail polish while I’m out shopping tomorrow…’

I felt his hand slip under my chin and lift it so that I was facing him.

“You don’t need to hide anymore. You don’t need to be afraid anymore, least of all around me,” he said as his thumb gently stroked my jaw.

“I know, but…” I protested, trying to get out of his grasp, only to have his increase his grip and make me face him again.

“Take ‘em off!” he insisted.

Realizing he wasn’t going to back down, I stepped back, tugged up my sleeves and peeled off my gloves, revealing a not to pretty bruise that extended from my left wrist up to my elbow.

“All better, huh?” he asked, inspecting my arm again.

I shrugged, and tried to find something else in the room to look at because I sure didn’t want to look at him, not with what thoughts were going through my mind. Oh God his touch felt so good after not having any physical contact for almost a year.

“Marie, look at me!”

I did so willingly this time.

“Look, you’re touching me and I’m not dying,” he said, holding up my hand, his fingers laced through mine.

I smiled halfheartedly, let go of his hand reluctantly, and sat on my bed, suddenly tired.

“You know, the first boy I ever kissed, ended up in a coma for three weeks,” I said, trying to change the subject. “I never thought I would be spendin’ my eighteenth birthday in the same condition.”

“Well, maybe once you get to feeling better, maybe I’ll take you out or something,” he suggested, sitting next to me.

I smiled. “I’d like that. Does that mean you’d be stickin’ around?”

He shrugged. “Dunno. Not really my kinda place.”

The smile left my face. “Oh.”

“Ya know, you could always come with me…”

As much as I liked the idea, I knew I couldn’t. “I don’t know. I think I’ll stay here. You know they have classes here. I’m almost a year behind, but Ms. Munroe said that if I try real hard, I might be able to catch up with the rest of the class and maybe even graduate with the rest of them come May. I start classes some time next week.”

He smiled, something I don’t think I have ever seen him do. “Sounds good, kid.” Then he reached out and fingered one of the white streaks I had in my hair.

“Where’d you get these anyway?”

“My momma said that’s just how my hair grew, dark brown with two white streaks in the front. She tried dyin’ them, but it never took. Eventually she just gave up. But I always liked ‘em.”

“They look good on ya.”

I couldn’t help but blush.

“So, how’re doin’ after finding out about…”

I could tell by the look on his face that he realized he shouldn’t have brought that up.

“I’m ok, I guess. I think…I think I finally accepted it, my not being pregnant. It’s strange though, I feel kinda empty, like somethin’s missin’.” I yawned.

“Getting tired, kid?”

“Yeah,” I replied. “I think I may call it a night.” I looked at the alarm clock on the night stand next to my bed and saw that it was nearly 4:30 a.m. “Or morning. I’ll talk to you later I guess.”

“Alright,” he said, got up and kissed me on the forehead. “Night.” He said and walked out of my room.

“Night.”

“Hey, Rogue! Wait up!”

I stopped walking and turned at the sound of my name. Bobby, a boy from my history class, was currently running down the hall to catch up with me.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“Hey, um…. I was wondering…..” he ran a hand through his spiky blond hair as he tried to find the right words.

“You were wondering…….?” I tried to help him along. I shifted my heavy textbooks in my arms and wished he’d figure out what he wanted to say.

“I was wondering,” he continued, “if I could take you out for ice-cream or maybe to a movie sometime?”

“Oh, um…” I shifted my weight between my legs and tried to find a way to let him down easily. After recalling what that bastard had done to me, and then after arriving here, finding I had had a miscarriage, I wasn’t comfortable with dating just yet. Only the staff here knew of the situation I had been in, so I couldn’t tell Bobby exactly why I wouldn’t go out with him. “I’d love to,” I watched as his icy blue eyes lit up, “but,” and then falter. “I’m not dating right now.”

And wasn’t this the perfect time for Logan to walk by.

“Hey kid, be ready to go at eight. Oh and bring a jacket, it’s starting to get chilly out,” he said as he passed us.

“Not dating right now, huh?” Bobby said as soon as Logan was out of sight. He looked hurt.

“Bobby, it’s not what you think. He just…” but Bobby cut me off.

“Uh-huh. You know if you didn’t want to go out with me, you could have just said so.” He turned and started to walk away.

“Bobby, that’s not what I meant!” I yelled after him, but he ignored me and just continued on him way. Great! What a perfect way to start my weekend.

X X X

I heard a knock on my door later that evening as I was applying my makeup. My bedroom door opened without waiting for a reply.

“You ready to go kid?” Logan asked.

“Yup. Gimme a sec,” I called from the bathroom that adjoined my bedroom. I took one last look in the mirror before following him out into the hall. I attempted to calm my racing heart. ‘This wasn’t a date was it? No, Logan didn’t seem the type to date. And he doesn’t like me the same way I like him, does he? Nah, no way.’ I immediately banished the thought from my head as a felt my face slowly turn red. Logan had decided to take me out as a late birthday gift as soon as I was feeling up to it. It being three weeks since I woke up from my coma, I was feeling much better, and only had a few scars left to show from my previous ailments. While deep in thought I had missed what Logan had said. Snapping out of it, I realized we were standing in the garage

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I said I was thinking about taking One-eye’s motorcycle. I’ve been itching to get my hands on that precious bike of his,” he explained, keys in hand.

I felt my stomach drop. After what happened the last time I was on a motorcycle with Logan, I wasn’t too keen on getting back on one again. Ever again.

“Logan I don’t think that’s a good idea…” I said, pleading with my eyes, hoping he would understand.

Logan walked back to me, slipped a finger under my chin and lifted it so that I was looking into his eyes. “Hey, I don’t want you to be afraid just because of what happened last time.”

X X X
I’m running down a dark, damp corridor. I can hear booted footsteps approach me from behind as my own bare feet slap the concrete ground. I don’t take time to decide which way to turn I just run as fast as my feet will carry me. I’m only covered in a paper gown that barely covers me and even that is torn. My poisonous skin is useless against the soldiers tailing me; the bracelets they fitted me with make sure of that.

FLASH

My body feels stiff and frozen from the bitter cold but I force my legs to keep moving. I’m outside now, running in the snow from the soldiers. They’re gaining on me. My legs and lungs burn, but my back stings the worst from where they removed patches of skin from my back. I’m running at the edge of a ravine. I scream as I slip and go over the edge, but I feel hand yank me back from my arms. I look down and I can’t even see the bottom of the abyss, I just see black. I struggle; I’d rather go over and die then go back to the hell I was in. I feel their grip slip and even though I’m glad they let me go, the fall startles me and I scream.

I wake up, look around confused. I’m tangled in a heap of sheets and blankets on the floor next to my bed. Images from the dream flash through my mind and my whole body starts to shake as tears stream down my face. It was just a dream. The slam the door makes as it opens makes me jump.

“Marie?”

I look up and see a very blurry-looking Logan standing in my door way. I can’t help but shudder and sob when I see him. Logan scooped me up and placed me in his lap. I clung to him for dear life as he rocked me.

“It…it was so real,” I make out between sobs.

“I know baby, I know. It’s okay, your safe now. I got you,” he said as he rubbed my back in slow circles.

“Logan…” I heard Mr. Summers from the doorway. I looked up, he did not look happy, neither did Logan.

“Drop it, Cyke!” Logan growled.

“Logan. I really don’t think…” there was a slam as Logan shut the door in his face.

Logan walks back to me, picks me up, blankets and all and drops me lightly on my bed.

“You need to go back to sleep kid, it’s two in the morning,” he said.

“I can’t.”

“You can’t? Whadya mean you can’t?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

I blushed, suddenly feeling like a little kid. “I’m scared. I’m afraid the nightmare will come back,” I explained. Suddenly an idea popped into my head and I dared to ask. “Um, could you, couldyoustaywithme?” I mumbled.

“What was that?”

No sense in beating around the bush. “I was wonderin’ if you could stay with me. Just until I fall asleep.” I looked anywhere but at him.

“Um…” he started to look uncomfortable.

“Please,” my eyes finally meeting his, begging him. I was honestly afraid of going back to sleep. I’ve had nightmares before, but none so bad that I was afraid to sleep alone.

Logan ran a hand through his wild hair. “Yeah, sure.”

I attempted to straighten the covers before I slid under them and turned out the lamp on the table next to me. I felt the mattress dip as Logan lay down behind me.

“Hey Logan?”

“Yeah kid?”

“Thanks.”

“G’night, kid.”

I stared at my alarm clock. 4:30 it said back. Two hours had passed, and I was still awake. I couldn’t relax enough to sleep. I listened to Logan’s steady breathing; he had fallen asleep shortly after his head hit the pillow. The bastard.

I turned around to face him. He was sleeping flat on his back. “Logan,” I called, none too quietly. He gave a slight snore, but otherwise nothing.

“Logan!” I called again and jabbed his side with my elbow.

“Hmm?” he grumbled, eyes still closed.

“I can’t sleep.”

I jabbed him again when he didn’t answer me after a few minutes.

“What!” He yelled, rubbed his eyes and glared at me.

“I can’t sleep.”

“So go drink some warm milk then,” he said, closed his eyes and rolled away from me.

I sat up. “It’s not that!” I cried. That got his attention and he rolled back toward me. “Every time I close my eyes I can see myself… feel myself fallin’. In my dream I was being chased, first down cemented hallway, then out in the snow. Then I’m fallin’. And it scares me,” I explained, my voice wavering slightly.

“Hey,” he said, brows furrowed and arm extended toward me. “Come here.”

I laid my head down on his chest and inhaled the scent of cigar smoke, masculinity and something that’s just pure Logan. I draped my arm across his waist as he wrapped his around my shoulder.

“Better?” he asked.

“Mmmhmm,” I answered, he scent seeming to relax me and I closed my eyes. Luckily no images of my dreamed crept their way back into my mind. “Thanks.”

“Just go to sleep kid.”

I woke up the next morning in what I thought was a strange situation, but with what felt like the best sleep I have had in well……ever. What was strange about it was the position I, or rather, we were in. I was held firmly against him, one of his arms draped across my stomach; it was new, and yet I felt strangely relaxed and comfortable. However, when my eyes had focused and I saw that my alarm clock had read 11:30 a.m., all was forgotten.

“Crap!” I yelled as I sat up in bed.

“What is it,” Logan grumbled from behind me, arms out and claws extended.

“Ah’m late for my classes!” I replied, jumping out of bed.

“Damn it, kid, don’t yell like that,” he said as he retracted his claws. “I could’ve gutted you!”

“Ah’m sorry!” I yelled back as I hurriedly went through my drawers, looking for something to wear. “It’s almost noon and Ah already missed three of my classes, four if Ah don’t hurry up.”

“Hey, come ‘ere.”

“Logan,” I protested, trying to resist him pulling me toward my bed. “Logan, Ah have to go to class!”

He sat down. “No you don’t, you can stay here.”

“Logan, Ah can’t…”

He sighed. Then he wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his face in my stomach. “Darlin’, that was the best sleep I’ve had since I can remember, and I’m not ready to wake up yet,” he mumbled, almost incoherently. “Just…just don’t go.”

I was shocked speechless by not only the words he was saying, but by how much he seemed to need me. I opened my mouth to protest- I really did need to go to class- but with the look in his tired eyes I couldn’t deny him.

I sighed. “Okay.”

He relaxed his grip on me, mumbled a quick ‘thanks, baby’ and crawled back into bed. I went quickly over to the window and pulled the shade down; there was no way I was going to be able to fall back asleep with midday sunlight flooding the room. With the room darkened to my liking, I crawled back under the covers where Logan reached out to me. Then he suddenly tugged me to him, rubbed his face in my hair, inhaling and then breathing a sigh of relief. He was asleep minutes later.

My heart fluttered, it’s not like I could help it even if I wanted to. That’s the last thought I had before I fell back into a deep sleep.

X X X

That became almost a nightly ritual; I would wake from a nightmare and Logan would be right there to comfort me. Most days I would wake up in the morning and kick him out of my room so I could get ready for class, but more than once Logan and I slept late and I, with some convincing from Logan, couldn’t bring myself to get out of bed. On the weekends we slept most of the day away in each others arms, him only leaving to find us something to eat. That’s about as far as it went though; we slept in each others arms, talked and comforted each other, but that was it and I wanted more.

But between our sleeping together and my daydreams of us being together in the way I wanted, it took months before I found out I wasn’t the only one in that bed who suffered from nightmares.

X X X

It was the weekend after my first Thanksgiving at Xavier’s school. I woke from another nightmare, alone and terrified. Logan had gone out that night, probably to a bar, after a little coaxing from me. I could tell from his shorter fuse he was having lately that he was going stir crazy, being in every night so I could sleep well, as well as having to deal with the extra people that were around for the holiday. He declined his bad mood, of course, but I knew better. I didn’t know when he was going to be back so to calm my nerves I snuck into Logan’s room after curfew. Being surrounded by his scent seemed to help me fall asleep but apparently it doesn’t help in keeping the nightmares away, which brings me back to now. I had woken from a nightmare alone and afraid. From the looks of it, Logan wasn’t back yet even though his clock said it was well after midnight. Without Logan there to comfort me, I got out of bed and headed down to the kitchen to find some comfort food in hope to chase away the images in my head.

I was down there for almost an hour, devouring a carton of chocolate ice cream and that seem to have calmed me down and I was heading back to Logan’s room to try to get back to sleep. It was then I heard a blood curdling howl that came from the end of the teacher’s wing, from where Logan’s room was. I ran down there as fast as I could and found Logan in his bathroom, emptying his stomach into the toilet.

“Logan?” I called from the bathroom doorway.

“Get out, kid,” he said between heaves.

“Logan…”

“Get out!”

I stood there at the door contemplating what to do, but I’m not much for listening so I went in. I wet down a wash cloth with cool water, sat down on the tub and waited for him to stop heaving.

“You done?” I asked after a few minutes.

“Yeah,” he answered, breathing heavily.

I flushed the toilet and handed him the wash cloth. “Your nightmares get that bad a lot?”

“No. haven’t been this bad since…….since I first woke up.”

“Oh. How long ago was that?”

He thought for a minute. “Fifteen years.”

“Hmmm. And you don’t remember anythin’ before that?”

“No. Only thing I knew was a name, and I found that on my tags,” he replied. Then he surprised me by folding his arms across my lap and laying his head down. I couldn’t think of any way to respond to his move but to run my fingers through his thick mane.

“Don’t even know if Logan is my real name.”

Then he made a sound that was somewhere between a growl and a purr.

I froze. “What?”

“Don’t stop, that feels good.”

“Oh,” I said and felt a small smile creep at the corners of my mouth.

We sat like that for a few minutes before Logan spoke again.

“Why do you care so much?”

“Care ‘bout what?”

“Me.”

I snorted. “Ya know… Ah could ask you the same question.”

He sniffed. “Get out!”

“What?” I asked, confused.

“No, not you,” he growled and turned around.

There in the bedroom stood Mr. Summers and Dr. Grey.

Startled, I stood up too fast and lost my balance. Thanks to Logan’s quick reflexes, he
caught me before I could crack my skull on the ceramic tile.

“You know I don’t like how this looks, Rogue,” Mr. Summers started.

“Ah know. Logan just had a nightmare.” I then placed a hand on Logan’s chest in hopes to cease his growling, with no luck. “Ah was just tryin’ to help. He’s fine now. Could you go? Please?”

Mr. Summers opened his mouth to say something when Dr. Grey cut him off. “Scott, they’re fine.”

“But Jean, their behavior is inappropriate.”

“Scott come on, leave them alone.”

“But…….”

“Come on,” and with that she guided him out of the room, closing the door behind her.

I breathed a sigh of relief and then went to Logan, who was sitting on the toilet seat lid. He had his elbows propped up on his knees and his face in his hands.

“Logan?” I called, standing in front of him. “You okay?”

He looked up at me. “Yeah, just got these images in my head that wont go away,” he explained, scrubbing a hand over his face.

“Scenes from your nightmares?’

“Yeah.”

I couldn’t do anything but sympathize with him. “Hey, why don’t you come to bed with me,” I suggested.

“Darlin’ I don’t think sleep is on the agenda for me tonight.”

I chewed on my lip for a moment, thinking.

“Well you could come keep me company while Ah sleep….” I suggested, giving him a half smile.

He sighed. “Alright.”

X X X

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

That’s the rude awakening I got the next morning.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

And it wouldn’t stop.

“Logan? Logan answer the door right now!”

Startled, I sat up in bed. It was Mr. Summers knocking, rather pounding on the door. I looked to my left where Logan was sound asleep, arm still wrapped loosely around my waist. A smile crept onto my lips.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

“Logan!” Mr. Summers called again. The door knob rattled, but didn’t give as it was locked.

My train of thought interrupted, I decided maybe I should wake Logan up.

I pushed at his shoulder. “Logan?”

“Hmmm?”

It’s funny how Mr. Summers practically breaking the door down didn’t wake Logan up but my quiet voice could.

“Logan, Mr. Summers at the door,” I said, shaking him again.
“Summers can knock ‘til hell freezes over; I’m not getting up,” he groaned, eyes still closed and he pulled me closer.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

“Logan, if you don’t open this door right now, I’m gonna blast the damned thing down.”

“Logan…” I whined. I was starting to get a bit nervous.

Logan chuckled and sat up. “Fuck, I don’t think Xavier will like that. Stay put I’ll be right back,” he said as he rolled out of bed.


Logan opened the door enough to see out. “The fuck do you want? I’m trying to sleep,” he growled.

“Did Rogue go to her room last night?” Scott asked.

“I dunno. She left if that’s what you mean.”

“She missed her morning classes again, Logan. It’s the third time this month.”

“And you think she was in here, with me?”

I could see Logan’s grip on the door tighten. My eyes widened as I looked at the clock which indeed said I had missed my morning classes and that it was actually close to lunchtime.

“Oh shit!” I said, and immediately regretted it.

Scott managed to get past Logan.

“What the…” he said dumbfounded as his face turned a dark red color. “You know the Professor is not going to like this,” he said through gritted teeth.

It was then that I realized how bad this situation looked. Logan was standing in the doorway in just boxers and me, with my idiotic thinking- I had decided to forgo changing last night and decided to wear my tube top to bed and now, with the blanket wrapped around me like it was, it sure didn’t look like I was wearing much of anything under said blanket. I felt heat rush to my face and I was sure it was a shade darker than Mr. Summers was.

“Do you really think I give a fuck?” was Logan’s response.

Mr. Summers ignored Logan’s comment. “We’ll talk about this later, Rogue,” he told me and I nodded, my head down. “And as for you,” he aimed at Logan, “you might want to start packing your things Logan. I don’t think you’ll be able to stay here once the Professor finds out you’ve been sleeping with a student.”

Logan slammed the door after he left.

“Fucking son of a bitch!!”

His claws came out. His eyes looked wild and it looked like he wanted to hurt something…….or someone. And then I realized just what had happened.

“Oh God. Oh no. No, no, no, no, no.”

“Hey. Hey, darlin’, shhhh,” Logan said, trying to comfort me as I found myself picked up and placed in his lap. “It’ll be okay darlin’, we’ll be okay,” he said, rocking me slightly as the tears fell.

“Okay? OKAY? Logan it’s not fuckin’ okay! Ah probably just got you kicked out of ‘ere.”

“Hey now darlin’, look at me.”

I couldn’t.

“Damnit, Marie, look at me!” He said as he slipped a finger under my chin and forced my head up so I didn’t really have a choice in the matter.

“There is no way in hell that any of this is your fault! Do you hear me?”

I sniffled and nodded. “Yeah but what if you do get kicked out, Logan? What then?”

“So I’ll leave. Better off on the road anyways.”

“Yeah, but what ‘bout me?”

“What about you? You’ll come with me, won’t you?”

Again, I couldn’t look at him

“Marie?”

“Logan,” I started, still not looking at him, “Ah’ve got it good here. Ah’m back in school, Ah’ve got friends, ya know? I’m not sure I can.”

Logan sighed and kissed my forehead. We stayed like that for a while until Logan got a mental call from Professor Xavier. He was wanted in his office.

X X X

I was sitting outside Professor Xavier’s office, not because he wanted to talk to me but I had my last class with him that day and I had nothing better to do but wait around. I also had wanted in on a bit of what they were arguing about behind those closed doors, and they were arguing, quite loudly in fact that I could clearly hear the conversation. It was Logan who was the loudest, which was not surprising, but they’ve been going at it for hours, talking about ethics and morals. Arguing that I was of age, but still a student. A lot of the conversation was a bit boring but something was said that caught my attention.

Logan said that one thing that both made my stomach drop to the floor as well as shatter my heart beyond repair: “I would never fucking do that! She’s just a kid!”

I knew then that Logan would never love me in the same way I loved him.

It was then I decided that if Logan couldn’t see me as more than a ‘kid’, then he had no right to be ‘sleeping’ with a ‘kid’. He was going to have to find someone else to comfort him during the night and I guess……I guess I would have to as well.

I held the tears back until I reached his room; I absolutely hated crying in public. I let the tears fall as I went around the room collecting everything that was mine – over the past month or so we’ve been slowly moving my stuff in here, it just made more sense, but I never moved in here officially. I slept in here almost every night, we figured maybe just sleeping together to begin with would keep the nightmares at bay, and it helped……..for the most part.

I had everything of mine piled at the head of the bed and was currently staring at a picture of us, taken in secret a few months ago that had made its way into a frame and on my bed one day. We were outside the garage, sitting on his motorcycle, with me in front as he was teaching me how to work the thing. We were both smiling. It took a lot of coaxing to get me on that bike that day.

A pained smile formed on my face as I tossed the picture onto the floor. I wasn’t crying over the picture, I was done crying. My eyes were puffy and my nose was red and raw.

It was after dark, I had missed dinner because I knew that word in this school spread like wildfire and I couldn’t bear to show my face. I hadn’t seen Logan since the incident this morning and I really didn’t care if I ever saw him again.

I was just about to collect my things and head back to my old room when the door swung open and in came Logan. He kissed me on the forehead and gathered me in a hug, which I didn’t return. It was then he noticed my stuff piled onto the bed.

He stepped back. “Marie, what’s going on?” he asked.

“Ah dunno, Logan. You tell me,” I retorted

“Well for starters they’re letting me stay, but that’s not what I meant. Why is all of your stuff in a pile on the bed?”
I crossed my arms across my chest. “I guess I decided you need to look for a new sleeping partner.”

“What? What the hell Marie? Tell me what’s going on?”

I smirked on the inside on how oblivious he was. “What am I to you, Logan?”

“What are you talking about,” he asked, clearly confused.

“What am Ah to you, Logan? What’s our relationship, ‘cause Ah clearly don’t know. Ah sleep with you in the same bed, have been for the past several months, but that’s it. Inside this room you call me ‘darlin’’, Ah’ve even heard you call me ‘baby’ once. You’re the only one in this building who knows my real name and the only one Ah let call me by it. But then outside that door it’s always ‘kid’. Ah’m not a kid anymore Logan! Ah’m eighteen, a legal adult; when are you gonna realize that?” I was starting to get upset but I was trying hard not to let it show.

He placed his hands on my shoulders. “Marie….”

“No!” I yelled, backing out of his embrace. “No, you don’t get to call me that anymore! Ah want to know what it is that you want from me ‘cause it feels like you’ve been using me these past few months.” That last part wasn’t entirely true.

“Darlin’, it’s complicated,” he said, stepping closer to me.
“No, Logan it’s not,” I stated, backing up until my knees hit the bed. “I want to know what you want. Most people know what….”

“I want you!” he shouted, cutting me off.

“What?” I thought I didn’t hear correctly.

“I want you,” he repeated, calmer now, still coming closer to me.

“So why don’t you take what you want, huh?” I challenged, “Ah’ve wanted you since Ah first met you and you always took what you wanted regardless, so what’s stopping you now?”

I realized I pushed him to far when I found myself flat on my back on the bed with him on top of me, his face barely and inch away from mine and my arms restrained to my sides in a grip that was actually starting to hurt.

“Because…..because I fucking love you and I can’t have you! I care about you too much and I won’t let myself! I’m an animal, I have animalistic part of me that seems to have the idea that you’re its mate and I can’t let it have you. I already have a hard time caging the beast inside of me and if I let it get to you then it could hurt you without my knowing and I wouldn’t be able to stop! Do you understand that? Do you really want to be with me when something like that could happen?”

By this time I had tears streaming down my face, tears I thought I couldn’t cry anymore and I knew I was going to have bruises on my arms come morning.

“Look me in the eye, Marie, and tell me you still want to be with me when I could hurt you, more so than I am now!”

Reluctantly I shook my head. I didn’t know that there was another side to Logan, a violent side like this.

He got up off of me. “I didn’t fucking think so,” he said coldly and he grabbed his jacket and left the room.