and you said and you did and you said you could find me even in Death and you said and you said you'd find me but –Tori Amos "I Can't See New York"

I laughed and you smiled as you declared with open arms that forever was ours to be had. You jumped from chair to counter top in your glory, begging for my hand now and forever. I froze as you stumbled and fumbled to slide on one knee at my feet, your voice shaking ever so slightly as you spoke. You were always so young and beautiful and wonderful and innocent but never more so than with that shining tiny thing placed so careful before me.

You said, "Just stay here with me," and softer, "Please, just say yes." Oh, to say yes.

But an answer to the question wasn't necessary or wanted as you slipped your arms around me, kissing me forever and forcing me to dance to the music playing in your head. The future was so bright it clouded your eyes. I couldn't find the words to correct you and you were so happy and I always loved a fairy tale. The Iceman and his deadly girl walking off into the sunset with the world watching in awe, we would be so happily ever after, you with your blue eyes and me with my blue heart.

You were drunk and I was high, buzzing off cheap champagne we had stolen from a cabinet marked `You touch you die.' And maybe I did because I gave up on everything I wanted for the sake of what I could get. And that was you.

The forever I dreamed of flew away with a man and his motorcycle with his past cold in my hands.

And you were here so I couldn't say no, but I never said yes to this.

But you are here and he is not, so this must be best.

This must be best.